Chapter 24
Twenty-Four
Jaclyn
Alex told everyone to get ready because she wants to take us to a light show tonight. It’s basically where we are going to walk past some houses that have crazy lights up for Christmas.
Natalia said that every year, some houses have some crazy decorations so I’m excited to see some of the houses. I have always loved the tradition of looking at Christmas lights but never got the chance to do it with my family.
My mom mostly spent Christmas at home or with family. We never had any traditions.
I go inside my room and take off my clothes from today. We didn’t do much, only stayed in and hung out in the game room.
I have been steering clear of Hayden because of that text he sent me last night. I need to put distance between us because there’s no way I could like Hayden. I swore myself off from guys for a reason and Hayden is dangerous.
Hayden Night will break my heart to pieces, you can tell just from looking at him.
He will give me these smirks from across the room which make my face turn red. Whenever he walks past me and I feel his hand graze mine it sends chills down my spine.
I hate how he has such a huge effect on me.
Just thinking about him and the little gestures between us makes me blush and I feel butterflies in my stomach, as if I am a little school girl who can’t stop staring at her crush from across the hallway.
And don’t get me started on the kiss I keep having dreams of.
I forget about Hayden as I grab my towel and wrap it around my body.
I walk towards the bathroom and open the door, bumping into a warm, hard, wet chest. I press my hand against their chest and look up meeting those familiar dark haunting eyes.
Hayden’s hand grips my waist, holding me against him as he stares down at me with lust filled in his gaze. His whole body is hot and wet against mine from the shower he just took. It sends chills down my spine and I can’t help but think those dirty thoughts about him making me press my thighs together.
“Hi, princess,” Hayden says, still looking down at me with a smirk making its way onto his face.
His hair is wet from the shower and let's not forget about the chain necklace around his neck. Water drops are falling from his hair down his chest making him look deadly.
“Hayden.” His name leaves my lips in a breathless tone.
I should have knocked.
I thought he was still with Chris downstairs. I could have sworn Natalia and I went to our rooms first and they stayed down in the game room.
My hand leaves his chest as I feel the hard muscles in his abdomen clench under my touch. Hayden’s jaw ticks but he doesn’t let go of me. If anything, he tightens his hold on my waist.
He leans down, his head goes to the spot where my neck and shoulder meet. His cold hair touches my bare skin making me suck in a breath.
“See what I mean by tempting?” Hayden trails his nose along my skin making me shiver and turn my head to the side to give him more access. “Seeing you like this makes me want to do things to you.”
“What kind of things?” I can’t help but ask.
All of a sudden my body is on edge, desperate to hear his answer to what he wants to do to me .
“Bad things.” I feel his lips touch my collarbone and I close my eyes. His touch on me feels so warm and gentle. It’s like my whole body has been waiting for someone to touch me like he does. “You are like lust, princess.” His lips leave my collarbone and he backs away from me slowly. “A sudden, powerful and overwhelming desire that is everything bad and dangerous,” Hayden whispers.
I look up at Hayden with half lidded eyes, all of a sudden tired. I want to drown in his arms and stay there forever.
Even though he is everything bad for me.
Hayden backs away from me slowly and he passes me without saying anything else. I turn my head and watch him walk to his room, the muscles in his back tensing as water droplets fall from his back.
“Jaclyn! Come look at this one!” Natalia yells as she stands in front of a house with a giant reindeer in their front yard. I look at Alex with a sorry smile and head over to Natalia. “His name is Cosmo!” she says, her voice filled with excitement as she touches Cosmo’s nose.
Alex and I were talking about how much she misses Natalia and Hayden. I feel bad for leaving her but she probably understands .
I can’t help but look at Hayden who is standing next to Chris, watching Natalia and I next to the reindeer.
We got to the street filled with a bunch of decorated houses, also known as Diamond Lane, about fifteen minutes ago. The first house we started at also had a real live reindeer in their front yard. We all drove in Alex’s Escalade. Hayden drove with Alex in the front while I sat in the back with Natalia and Chris.
Hayden kept looking at me through the rearview mirror which made me blush and turn away from him. I would see his lips lift in a smirk which would make the butterflies reappear in my stomach. I don’t know why his is so intimidating. It’s just the way he stares at me with that heated gaze that makes me blush. Or even when he stares at me with a softness it makes me nervous.
But not in a bad way.
They keep coming back and it reminds me of when I was younger which I can’t help but hate.
It’s a good feeling at first, those butterflies in your stomach, but then they will make you want to throw up when you find out that those butterflies can just cause harm.
I don’t know why I feel like I don’t deserve to have those butterflies in my stomach. It's just every time I do have them for a guy they always end up causing me harm.
It’s like a repeated cycle .
I get feelings for a guy and things are great for a while until it all just crashes and burns.
In the end I’m just left feeling even more insecure and as unloveable as I did before. I’ve waited so long to have something real for someone and be in a relationship because I see everyone else in one but when I’m close to having that it gets ruined.
“I wonder how they got him here,” I question, trying to take my mind off of my overthinking.
“Oh this house always has something crazy going on. Last year they had a Santa Clause giving out candy and free gifts.”
Oh so they're rich rich?
“Let’s look at the houses over there, Natalia. Let the other kids touch the reindeer!” I hear Alex yell, making me stop petting Cosmo and look at her.
Alex is standing with Hayden and Chris, waiting for us.
Natalia pouts before walking towards Chris. I chuckle and follow her as they start walking. I shiver, cursing at myself for not bringing another layer.
I’m only wearing a long sleeve undershirt and then a cream knitted sweater. I thought it wouldn’t be that cold since the weather seemed nice outside and I wanted to dress cute since Alex told us she was taking pictures. Natalia is wearing almost the same thing as me and she doesn’t look cold, but that’s also because she is probably used to this weather.
I feel a warm jacket being placed on my shoulders making me look up and see Hayden next to me. “You should have brought a sweater or something,” he mutters while fixing his jacket on me.
“I didn’t think it would be that cold outside.” I slip my hands through the sleeves while looking at Hayden.
He’s only wearing a sweater now instead of the jacket layered on top.
“California weather is nothing compared to Utah weather.” Hayden looks at his jacket on me, tilting his head to the side questioningly. “Do you feel better?”
I nod my head but can’t help but wrap my arms around myself, trying to get a little warmer. “Yea, a little.”
Hayden suddenly walks closer to me and he wraps his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to his body.
The gesture is odd but also warm and sweet. This is the first time Hayden has actually touched me like this, wrapped his arm around me and voluntarily wanted to hold me. His touch feels familiar like a distant memory from shadows.
While he pulls me against his body, I can’t help but think what the hell is he doing?
Why is he making me feel like this? Why does he have to be so back and forth when it comes to me ?
My heart and head are so confused and I don’t know if I should enjoy his hold on me or push him away.
“If you’re still feeling cold I can drive you back to the house,” he says as we walk while I still stare at him with shock.
“Why are you being nice to me now?” I ask, raising an eyebrow at him.
I can’t help but wonder; why?
All of the questions are driving me crazy.
I just need to know what his game plan is so that I can protect my heart because who else will?
Hayden looks down at me. His jaw clenches before he relaxes it. He looks away from me and continues walking, pulling me to his embrace closer.
It’s crazy how fast his feelings can change with just one word or look.
“Because it’s hard to hate you, Jaclyn. Stop being so goddamn enticing and then we can go back to hating one another.”
I just wish he could say that while looking at me.
He’s making things for me harder. I want to stop him from making me feel these weird bubbly feelings that are rising from my chest.
But I can't lie and say I’m not attracted to Hayden because I am. It’s not helping when he is nice and touchy with me at the same time .
I can’t be liking someone like Hayden Night because guys like him don’t stay and pick up the pieces.
They leave you to fend for yourself, desperately waiting for someone, anyone to help you heal from the past trauma and the false reality they promised you.