Chapter 25
Twenty-Five
Jaclyn
“Jaclyn,” a familiar voice says while shaking my shoulder. “Jaclyn, wake up,” they say louder this time. I open my eyes slowly and stretch my arms over my head. Natalia’s face is directly in front of mine. I flinch away from her, pressing my head against the pillow. “Finally. Can you get up?” She raises an eyebrow at me as if I’m the problem when she is the one who woke me up.
“Why?” I sit up and look around the room, rubbing my eyes from how tired I am.
I look down at my phone seeing it’s eight in the morning. “It’s Christmas? Remember? Santa Claus and presents and all of that other fun stuff?” she says as my eyes go to the date that reads on my phone. “Get up, put some clothes on and then come join us downstairs.” Natalia jumps off my bed and then runs out my door .
I hear loud thumps go downstairs as she runs.
So Natalia was that kind of kid growing up.
Last night, we all watched a Christmas movie in the living room. Carter got the night off and he spent it with us. Hayden wasn’t around though. I’m not sure if he was in his room or out.
I can’t get his words from the other night out of my head. His words about not wanting to hate me are engraved in my memory and I can’t help but feel the heart in my chest go a little crazy.
He makes me feel things that I shouldn’t feel, especially when I’m trying to focus on bettering myself and healing my own demons that my father gave me.
But when Hayden touches me, worries about my diabetes, and gives me his sweater or jacket, I can’t help but feel cared for and like I actually matter to someone.
And mattering to someone is one of the best feelings in the world.
After I put a random sweater on I go downstairs where everyone is waiting. “Sorry for being late. I had to freshen up.”
Chris and Natalia are sitting on the floor next to the tree. Alex and Carter are sitting next to one another on the couch. Carter has his arm wrapped around Alex’s shoulder as she snuggles into his embrace. Then Hayden is sitting on the single armchair. I choose to sit down on the floor, near Hayden and the tree.
“Don’t apologize, honey. If Natalia didn’t wake up we would probably all be sleeping,” Alex says which makes Natalia roll her eyes.
”You guys are crazy for wanting to sleep in on Christmas.” Natalia grabs the closest present to her and examines it.
While she examines it I look at Hayden but he is already staring at me. Butterflies burst in my stomach as he stares at me with a heated gaze.
“What?” I ask before looking down at my sweater, thinking I had something on me. The sweater I’m wearing happens to be the one he gave me to wear in the car when we were driving here. “I’ll give it back to you. Sorry-”
“Don’t worry about it.” Hayden forces his eyes away from me and looks at Natalia.
I contain a smile that wants to burst on my face.
I need to bury all of these emotions down and never think about them. My mom always said that I fall easily because I have never fallen in love before. That’s just another reason why I try to steer clear of relationships because I can't help but wonder what kind of dangers being in love will get me.
Will I be blinded by it like my mom was?
Will the person I am head over heels in love with eventually leave me?
That’s what I’ve always been afraid of, being left alone in the end and having to pick up the pieces of my broken heart myself.
I force those thoughts away and focus on what’s happening in the present.
Everyone opens their gifts, one by one.
I got Chris a football signed by the Rams because he mentioned to me that they were his favorite team and I happened to go to one of their training camps and got a small football signed by most of the team and coaches. He looked like he was about to cry when he saw it. I got Natalia a Billie Eilish sweater which she screamed and tackled me for. She is a huge Billie stan and she told me she will forever be in my debt. I laughed and just pushed her off, telling her not to worry about it. I got both Alex and Carter a self care bag that I bought from Bath and Body Works. They both said it was thoughtful and that they will put them both to good use which Natalia took the wrong way and grimaced.
Now it’s my turn.
Natalia and I think alike because she gave me a Selena Gomez sweater which I’m in love with because Selena Gomez is one of my idols. Chris got me a Barnes & Noble gift-card because he didn’t know what to get me. Alex and Carter got me earrings that looked very expensive. I told them they didn’t have to get me anything but they said I was basically their family now and they were happy to get me that. Alex said that they would look amazing on me .
I didn’t expect Hayden to get anything for me but when I see a small red box that says Cartier, I am shocked and overwhelmed. I look at Hayden and he has a ghost smile on his face. It’s not much but to me it’s everything.
I open the box slowly and smile when I see a tiara charm hanging on a silver chain.
I look back up at Hayden. “How expensive was this?”
“Very, so don’t lose it.”
Alex and Carter chuckle along with Natalia.
“It’s too much. I can’t accept this-”
“Shut up and take the gift. I can’t take it back. It’s custom.”
My eyes almost fall out of my eyes. “Hayden-”
“Can we start with my gifts so she stops complaining?” Hayden looks at Natalia but I’m not done complaining.
“Hayden, this is probably very expensive. You can’t take it back or return it?”
He shrugs. “I can probably sell it to them to sell limited but why would I do that? I got you that necklace for a reason and you’re going to keep it.” Hayden ends the conversation and looks at Natalia. “Let me start with Alex and Carter’s.”
Alex and Carter gave Hayden a special edition Rolex and then some clothes. Natalia gave Hayden a sweater he has been wanting for a while. Chris said that his gift was at his house because he had to get it delivered .
When it’s my turn I give Hayden a small box. That ghost smile makes its way to his face again. He opens the gift and he now has a full on smile on his face which ends up making me smile.
I saw these mini boxing gloves that were red at the liquor store and I had to buy them for him. I didn’t know if I should give him something or not but going to his house for Christmas empty handed seemed rude so I thought these were perfect.
“I would have gotten you something better if I knew-”
Hayden shakes his head, disagreeing with me. “No, I like these. I’ll put them in my car.” He puts the mini boxing gloves back in the box and closes the top.
Hayden keeps his eyes on me, staring at me intensely so that I almost feel out of breath. His eyes go down to my lips making me blush and look away at Alex who is smiling, staring at me and Hayden.
I hope she doesn’t think anything of it.
“Alright, well let's go have some breakfast so you guys can have the rest of the day to yourself. Maybe show Jaclyn around town?” She gets up from the couch and goes to the kitchen while Carter follows behind her.
Natalia and Chris peck each other, saying '“I love you” before getting up and going to the dining room.
I look at Hayden once more, giving him a smile before getting up. I am about to start walking towards the kitchen but I feel a large, warm hand grab mine. I turn around and Hayden is almost an inch away from me. He’s so close that our chests are almost pressed against one another.
“Turn around, princess.”
I nip my lip, forcing myself not to blush or smile as I turn around. I hate that I’m getting all giddy just from a simple command from him.
I feel metal press against my skin lightly making me jolt. I look down at my chest and see Hayden placing the tiara necklace around my neck. I smile while looking down at the necklace because I can’t help it.
“Don’t lose it or else I’ll strangle you with another necklace,” Hayden says and I can’t help but laugh even though I think he might be serious. He connects the clasp to the hook and moves my hair to the side. I turn around and look down at the charm. “It looks good on you.”
I look up at him and I swear I see heat filled in his eyes. It’s almost like he wants to take me to the nearest room and kiss me until I run out of breath.
I press my thighs together when I feel that tingling feeling between my thighs. I already know my face is beat red.
“Thank you, Hayden. Seriously. It’s too much.”
Hayden’s eyebrows furrow while looking at the necklace. My eyes go to the piercing on his eyebrow before going down to his plumped lips .
He licks his lips making me look up to meet his eyes. “Stop doing that,” he whispers in a seductive tone.
“Doing what?”
“Looking at me like you want me to take you into one of the rooms and have my way with you.”
I blush, immediately. “I’m not.” I turn my head to the side but Hayden grabs my chin to make me look at him.
He whispers, his lips coming close to mine.
“You look at me, too. Don’t think I don’t notice.”
Hayden smirks while looking down at me. The way he stares at me makes me feel like I’m the only girl in the world. I feel so special which is something I have never felt from anyone.
It feels good.
I want to be stared at more by him.
He stares at me for what seems like eternity, our faces slowly leaning towards one another until I hear Natalia.
“Jaclyn!” she yells from the dining room. “Come here before I eat everything!”
Hayden groans silently and he pulls away, taking his hand off my chin. “Did you do a shot?” I shake my head, my voice suddenly gone from the moment we had. “Go do one. I’ll tell Natalia.”
I walk away from Hayden, my body suddenly feeling cold from not being near him.
I get into the nearest bathroom and look at myself in the mirror .
She doesn’t look familiar.
The girl in the mirror, she looks flushed, worn out but in a good way.
Her eyes shine and they look sparkly.
She looks like the type to trust men easily and will eventually get heartbroken.
My brain and my heart are going different directions which is what I’m afraid of happening. I can’t like Hayden because eventually, soon enough, I’ll want to give him everything.
And then what will I be left with in the end?