Chapter 37
Thirty-Seven
Jaclyn
We walk into the club as the song “Devil I Know” by Allie X is playing.
People are dancing sensually with their partners and some are making out on the dance floor.
We aren’t at the club Hayden usually fights at because Natalia said she wants Hayden to have fun for his birthday.
I didn’t know it was his birthday today. I wish I had so that I could have gotten him something but Natalia said he doesn’t even like his birthday or telling people.
Things between us have been nice .
We are just having fun I think and I’m okay with that because I’m trying to keep my feelings away from the situation between Hayden and I but it’s hard when my obsessive thoughts come into play and want to control every feeling I have in my body when he’s around.
I constantly wonder about what Hayden thinks about me or if he likes me the same way I like him. And I like him a lot because whenever I have a crush, it’s not just something simple or small. I always go full in with all my heart which is a bad habit because I just end up getting hurt.
That’s why with guys, I never try to get too close or I leave before I start liking them too much because I don’t want to give them the chance to leave me before I fall too deep.
Hayden makes me excited and blush whenever he touches me or compliments me.
He always says the right things.
We haven’t done anything past him touching me with his fingers. I’m too scared to do more because what if I get hurt? We are a disaster in the making, waiting to happen.
I already know I will get hurt but I can’t stop.
Sometimes I want to cuss him out and call him names to push him away but before I even get a word out he decides to distract me.
It’s like he knows what I’m thinking and it’s a problem.
“I’m not going to drink tonight,” I tell Natalia.
I’m really not going to because I have a doctor's appointment soon so I need to make sure my levels are good or else I’ll get lectured which makes me end up feeling like shit.
She pouts. “No, you won’t dance with me then.”
I smile at her. “I will, don’t worry.”
Plus I’m her driver tonight since Chris is getting a ride with Hayden and the rest of the boys. Knowing I am a driver for someone makes me feel better about not drinking because I’ve always been someone that cares too much about someone else.
“You better.” Natalia squints her eyes at me. “Let's go get something to drink.”
“I’ll probably just get some water,” I say before we walk through people who are crowding the bar area.
My A1C was high last time I went to the doctors so I need to make sure it stays down before the appointment. I need some good news from them because whenever I go to the doctors they always lecture me about the other long term conditions I could get from diabetes which is something I need to hear but really don’t want to.
“I’ll get an espresso martini and then two shots of Grey Goose, please,” Natalia orders before I ask for water in a large cup.
I’m surprised the boys aren’t here yet and I hate that I keep looking at the front door, waiting for them to walk in, more specifically Hayden.
I haven’t seen him all day. He did text me asking me if I was going with Natalia and I told him I would.
He didn’t say anything afterwards.
It’s weird having someone to look forward to seeing again. It seems like with Hayden I am a different person. I blush and get insecure because I want to be perfect in his eyes even though he compliments me so much I almost faint.
And sometimes in class he'll bring a single pink tulip or peony. There is no way to stop the blushing from that and Hayden just smiles down at me and touches my cheeks.
I would give my mom pink peonies every month because her ex-boyfriend wouldn’t. Getting flowers is just as amazing as giving them.
Natalia and I talk while she sips on her martini. She already downed her shots and she is just drinking the martini waiting for Max to come so that the party can really start.
At that I laugh because it’s true. Max always makes things more enjoyable.
She and I talk about school and annoying teachers or classmates. She complains about our professor where we share the same class.
Something I noticed about Natalia is that she talks a lot more when she is drunk or at least getting to the point where she is drunk .
It’s funny watching Natalia drunk because she always has drama to talk about. Max is always raving about a girl he is hooking up with or he always tells us how much he loves us while hugging us.
Max is the best drunk out there.
Chris doesn’t get drunk or even drink much because of football. Kayden doesn’t drink around us but I have a feeling he can be a scary drunk or enjoy drinking alone. One of the two.
Hayden is a calm drinker. I feel like he doesn’t get drunk enough to act out of his character. I’ve never seen him drunk so I don’t know yet.
“Finally,” Natalia moans as she looks at the entrance of the club.
I turn my head and see the boys walking in. My eyes only stay on Hayden as he walks in behind Chris and Max with Kayden by his side.
Hayden is wearing a black dress shirt and black pants. He styled his hair and put effort into his look.
He looks good.
Very good.
“Hi, babe,” Chris says before kissing Natalia on the forehead and leaning down to whisper something in her ear.
It makes me smile seeing Chris so soft with Natalia. I can tell how much he loves her. She is the crazy to his calm. They are so opposite which makes them so perfect for one another.
“Hi,” Hayden says in my ear, making me turn to the side to look at him.
I smile, praying blush isn’t displayed on my cheeks. “Hi.”
Hayden has a small smile on his face which is something I love. He never fully smiles. It’s always half a smile or a smirk. It makes the butterflies in my stomach go crazy because I want to know what he’s thinking of when smiling like that at me.
“When did you get here?” he asks, walking closer to me, his finger grazing my thigh.
I suddenly regret wearing a dress because that gives Hayden such easy access. I’ve learned that Hayden loves public display of affection while I am insecure about people paying attention to us. Like in the classroom, I was so scared of getting caught so I made Hayden stop.
He stopped but after class was over, he took me to his car where we kissed and he fingered me while I moaned in his mouth and clenched onto his shoulders.
He joked with me and said he removed the tint on his windows and I smacked him in the chest, making him laugh.
“Not too long ago. Natalia ordered a drink and some shots while waiting. ”
“Did you have any?” he says, his finger pausing on my thigh while he gives me a serious look.
I shake my head no. “I only had water.” I look at my water and then back at him.
“Good.” His finger goes back to running up and down my exposed skin on my thigh.
I lick my lips before asking, “Why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday?”
I don’t want to make it a big deal for Hayden but I just want to know why he didn’t tell me.
Hayden shrugs. “I didn’t think it was important to tell you.”
“Of course it’s important. I need to get you a gift.”
Hayden leans closer to me. “I don’t need any gifts from you.”
I tilt my head and raise an eyebrow as if saying “Really? Everyone likes gifts.”
Hayden’s lips lift in a smirk and he leans his head down, his lips grazing my ear making my body break out in goosebumps. “How about you come home with me tonight for my gift?” If he didn’t notice the blush on my cheeks before he definitely notices it now. My cheeks feel hot and my body feels so sensitive when he continues to run his finger up and down my thigh. His lips close to my ear send chills down my spine and make me smile from the feeling. He leans away, still having that smirk on his face. “What do you say, princess? ”
I open my mouth to answer but I feel an arm wrap around my shoulder making me look at Max instead of Hayden.
“I think we need to dance our booties off.”
I laugh and Hayden just lets out an annoyed sigh.