Blinding Lights

5. Chapter 5

My calculus scores have been gradually slipping this semester, and I need to get them up quickly with just a few weeks left until graduation. After I complained to Cole, he recommended that Foster tutor me since hes a math whiz.

So now Im at Fosters house for our first session. Tonight, he was available between hockey practices this afternoon and early tomorrow morning. I’m nervous to have him help me, but Im also grateful he will take the time. I know hes under a lot of pressure right now.

I knock on his front door, and a woman who looks a few years older than my mom answers. She has the same brown eyes as Foster, but her hair is red.

You must be Fosters friend. Blake, is it?

Yes, maam. Foster is helping me with work for some of my classes.

Im Linda. Please come in. Would you like some dinner before you get to work?”

That would be great.

I follow Linda Holland into a nice, open kitchen and dining room. At the table sit two men. I assume the older one is Foster’s dad and the other looks a few years older than me.

This is my husband, Trent, and our other son, Joseph. Foster should be down any second.

As soon as she finishes saying that, he comes rushing in. Mom, I told you that we would be busy. Well take a snack or dinner up to my room.

Nonsense, Fozzie Bear. Blake says she wants to eat with us.

“Fozzie Bear,” I mouth to him when his mom turns back to go to the kitchen. He gives me a mock angry look and leads me to the table to sit across from his brother. I cant help the grin that spreads on my face. We will revisit that later.

His mom returns with spaghetti and garlic bread, and everyone digs in. Dinner is surprisingly calm and enjoyable. The conversation flows easily, and Fosters family is friendly and laid back. I see where he gets his relaxed nature.

After we stuff ourselves full of carbs, Foster leads me upstairs to his bedroom. He closes the door behind me. I raise my eyebrows and stare at him.

What? Its not like anything freaky will happen here, he says, then leans in close. Unless you want it to, he adds with a waggle of his eyebrows.

Obviously not.

I pull my books out of the backpack I brought with me.

Thanks for having dinner with my family. My mom will be thrilled I had a girl over, even if shes my best friends girl.

I enjoyed dinner, Fozzie Bear. Dont mention it.

He groans as he settles at his desk, letting me have the bed. How much do I have to pay you to keep the nickname to yourself?

I giggle at him, No bribe needed. I wont tell anyone, but I cant promise I wont pull it out when we’re alone.

I can handle that, just between us. Now, lets hit the books. Show me what youre having a problem with.

We quickly get to work and are focused for a couple of hours. Thankfully, Foster has helped me a lot with grasping precalc and even with biology.

How are you feeling now? He asks me as we both close our books.

So much better. I really appreciate you taking time out for me.

Its no big deal. Id do anything for you. Before the AP test, well get together for another study session. I think youve got the math down, but you can text me anytime you need to.

I should go now. I know you guys have practice early in the morning.

This week is going to be crazy. Will you be making the trip for the game next weekend?

Yep, Ill be traveling with Coles mom, I tell him as I pack everything in my bag.

Im glad youll be there.

We both stare at each other awkwardly. It seems weird to say goodbye and walk out, so I move forward for a hug. He moves at the same time, and we collide. I crash against his chest, and I’m impressed by the strength I feel there. I try to step back, but his hands stay on my hips, not letting me get far.

We look into each others eyes, and I feel a pull toward him. I lean in, and he comes even closer. His lips are just a breath away from mine, and I jump back. He lets me go.

Thanks for everything, Foster. See you at school.

I rush out of his room and down the stairs. I give Fosters parents a polite goodbye and hurry out of the house.

I almost kissed my boyfriends best friend.

Come on, my cousin has a spot saved for us, Olivia says as she drags Emma and me to the front of the line.

Were at a bar called The Machine Shop to see No Left Turn, a local punk band. I dont know any of their music, but Im excited to have a girls night for my eighteenth birthday. Emma says the guys in the band are gorgeous and have been making a name for themselves.

At the door, we show our tickets and the bouncer gives us green wristbands to show we’re underage. We make our way to the front of the club towards the stage. Olivias cousin works as the clubs security, and he has an area blocked off for the three of us to the left of the stage.

Thanks, guys. I havent been to a concert like this before. Im so excited, I tell them. Olivia rolls her eyes, but Emma hugs me.

We stand around, chatting and taking everything in before the show starts. Im glad I went for flat-soled shoes since well be standing for hours.

Is Cole nervous about the game tomorrow? Olivia asks me.

Of course, she had to bring Cole up.

Hes ready. Hes confident that they have the best team. Foster wants to get it over with. The practices on top of schoolwork have been brutal for them.

Youve talked to Foster about it? Olivia asks me, not bothering to hide her shock.

Uh…yeah, hes Coles best friend and tutoring me in some of my classes.

Olivia looks livid before her face relaxes. Are you bummed you wont be at the game? I heard it was impossible to get tickets. Families only.”

Ill be there. Mr. Thorne will be out of town, so Ill drive there with Mrs. Thorne. We leave in the morning.

Oh, thats great. Cole and Foster will be happy to have you there.

I look over at Emma, who has been watching us talk silently, and she shrugs.

A few minutes later, a man gets onstage and announces No Left Turn. The guitarist plays a few chords, and the crowd goes wild. He smiles at the bassist, who runs on the stage behind him. They nod to the drummer, and he starts the beat.

Emma was right. Theyre all very attractive. The guitarist has shaggy bleach-blond hair dyed royal blue at the ends. His tight t-shirt and ripped jeans show a lean body covered in bright tattoos. The bassist has shaved dark hair and a lip piercing.

I look at the drummers hands working and pause. Those tattoos look familiar. My eyes travel over the naked expanse of a toned stomach and chest to connect with green eyes I’d recognize anywhere.

Why is the drummer staring at you? Emma leans over into my ear and asks.

I know him.

Oh really?”

Hes the hockey coachs son. I talked to him at that party a couple of weeks ago. I had no idea he was in a band.

I enjoy their set and lock eyes with Talon a few times as they perform. The crowd gets really into their music. They put on a polished show like they’ve been performing together forever. I can see why theyre gaining popularity.

As they play their encore, Olivias cousin comes over to us again and says something to her.

She squeals and turns back to us. The band has invited us backstage.

Emma turns to me and smiles, Thank you, birthday girl.

We follow Jesse, Olivias cousin, through a door on the stages other side leading to a large open room. A recreation area has two long couches and a big television on the wall, and all three band members lounge there, sharing a bottle of alcohol. A couple of scantily clad girls are giggling alongside them. A few other people are standing around as music blares from the bar outside.

Hey Kitten! I hear its your birthday.

Talon is across the room with what I think is a bottle of whiskey in his hand. He pats the sliver of the sofa beside him. A redheaded girl sits there, and he gives her a menacing look. She slides into the lap of the guy next to her, giving me room.

I hesitantly take the vacated seat and Talon offers me the bottle in his hand. I look at it hesitantly.

Its okay, he says with a wink. No one will card you here.

I shrug and take a sip from the bottle. It burns as it goes down, making me wince, but then a not-so-unpleasant warmth settles in my chest. I take another larger drink before handing it back.

Im surprised to see you here. I didnt think this was your kind of place,” he says, taking his own swig.

My friends brought me for my birthday. It was Olivias idea. I nod to my friend, who is talking to some guy and drinking with him. Emma is sitting on the arm of the other couch with a drink in her hand. I decide to cut myself off so one of us can drive home safely.

I didnt know you were in a band, I tell him. You guys were great.

“Thats Caleb, he points to the blond guitarist, And thats Davis. The bassist sits next to us with the redhead in his lap.

I wave to them both before turning back to Talon. How long have you guys been playing?

I joined up with them my senior year. Theyre a year older. Come outside with me? I need a smoke.

I nod, and he grabs my hand. I follow him out a door leading to the alley behind the bar. I study him as he leans against the building and lights up a cigarette. Hes different than when we met at the party. His eyes spark with excitement, and his body is more relaxed. It could be the alcohol or maybe the high from performing. Either way, it looks good on him.

Wheres your boyfriend tonight? He asks after taking a couple of puffs of his cigarette. He studies me, and I can’t help but wonder what he thinks of me.

Practice. As Im sure you know, theres a big game tomorrow.

Oh yeah, the championship. How could I forget? His voice is heavy with sarcasm.

You’ve never played? I ask him, curious.

Nope.

“Thats surprising.”

Yep. Are you going to the game?

Ill be there.

Maybe Ill see you. My dad likes to drag me along and play happy family. He takes another drag of the cigarette, No more hockey talk. Tell me about you,

Me? Theres nothing much to tell. Im pretty boring.

I know there’s more to you than being the hockey star’s girlfriend. What do you want to do in life and all that shit.

I have no idea. Im staying in town and attending community college to figure it out. I like to be creative.

Like art and stuff? he asks and tosses his cigarette.

Sometimes. I do a bit of digital art, and I can be crafty. But really I like taking pictures. Sometimes, I drive out, and find pretty places.”

He leans into me, the smell of smoke on his breath. See, thats not boring at all. You got to see my art tonight. I would love to get a chance to see some of yours.

I go still. I have yet to talk to anyone about my pictures and art, let alone show it to anyone. No one has shown interest before, but Talon is genuine even though he barely knows me.

He comes even closer, and I sway into him. When his lips touch mine, I dont pull away. I thread my fingers into his silky black hair and pull him closer. The kiss lasts a few blissful seconds before I break away and put some distance between us. I try to get control of my beating heart and the fluttering butterflies in my stomach. I meet Talons eyes, and he looks as stunned as I feel before he shakes it off.

He smirks at me before grabbing my hand and leading me back inside. We better get you home to that boyfriend of yours.

You didnt have to take me out tonight, Cole. I know you must still be riding the high after your win. I would have understood if you wanted to still celebrate with your teammates, I tell Cole as we sit in his truck in front of my house.

The Gladiators crushed the championship game yesterday, four goals to one. Last night, he celebrated with his team. Today, for my birthday, he took me for dinner and a movie date.

“After spending so much time with those guys the last few months, Im glad to leave the team behind. Theres no one more important than you. Im sorry I couldnt spend your actual birthday with you. I havent had a chance to ask you how your night out with the girls was. Did you have fun?

Yeah, the concert was surprisingly good. Did you know your coachs son played in a band? Hes a drummer.

No, I didnt. Isnt his name Tanner or something like that?

Talon,” I correct him. “We hung out with them after the concert. Theyre talented.

Cole turns to study my face, which feels like its on fire. He hands me a small gift bag.

You didnt have to get me anything, I tell him.

Im sure that, as your boyfriend, its a requirement. And more than that, I wanted to get you something.

He pulls out a small box from the bag, a jewelry-type box.

No freaking out, its not like that. He says before I open it. Inside the box is a pendant, a light blue stone caged inside a white gold heart. Its aquamarine, my birthstone.

This is beautiful Cole. Put it on me. I turn in my seat so he can get the chain around my neck and clasp it.

I turn back to him and give him a long kiss.

Now tell me whats going on.

My eyes shoot up to his in shock. What?

I know I havent been around much lately, and Im not sure if thats it, but something is different. If were going to do this long-distance thing, we need to communicate. So out with it.

Damn him for being so observant.

Youre right. There is something we need to talk about. A couple of things.

I look down at my hands in my lap. I cant look Cole in the eye while having this conversation.

After the concert, we hung out with the band, like I said, and I drank a little. Then I went outside with Talon, and we talked and kissed, I croak.

Silence.

More Silence.

Unable to take it anymore, I look up to find Coles face blank.

What does that mean? he asks me quietly.

I don’t know. I kissed someone else, and it felt…good. I didn’t mean for it to happen.

Are you done with me? Do you want to end this? He begs.

No, that’s not what I want. I love you, Cole, and I cant remember a time in my life when I didnt. But maybe we dont need to decide our whole lives right now, I clarify.

He nods, I understand that. What do you want to do? You want to date around, have an open relationship and we date other people?

I dont want to date around, but Id like to explore this connection. It feels important. And that sounds horrible of me.

Just for clarification, you want to date me and this Talon guy?

And Foster, maybe.

Foster? He asks, his eyebrows raising.

We sort of had a moment when he was tutoring me.

So you want to date me, Talon, and my best friend? Anyone else? His voice does not give away what he’s thinking.

No, and now that you say it aloud, it sounds selfish, stupid, and crazy.

Cole holds his hands up, Blake, I just want clarification of what youre saying you want. No judgment from me, I swear.

You dont think Im crazy?

Not really. Were only eighteen. Now is when were supposed to have fun, experiment, and do crazy things. Well have plenty of time to settle down later. Can I think about this, and we talk about it again later? He sounds sincere, which settles my nerves a little. Maybe this could work out.

I nod, “Sure. And if you wanted to do the same…” I trail off. It would only be fair to offer him the same arrangement that I was asking for.

He shakes his head, “There’s no one I want to be with but you.”

I wince, feeling guilty for even asking for any of this. I love Cole, and he’s more than enough for me, but somehow I can’t help but wonder.