26 | Faces
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"You're coming back with me, right?" Riley asks Ava, arms slotted together. She's been like that since we came out the movie theatre, clinging on a little too tight. She's worried about her.
Ava shakes her head reluctantly, "No, I need to stop by work for a bit. I'll wait for my mom to pick me up."
Riley freezes, causing the group to stop moving entirely. Her, Ava, Cole, the curly-haired girl and unfortunately me too, considering I'm trapped behind them all. No Alex, thankfully. I don't know if I want to see his hands snaked over Ava's shoulders again.
"Your mom doesn't get off work for thirty minutes!" She exclaims, complete with dramatic hand movements, "I'm sure one of us can take you... Cole, Kat, it's on your way, right?" I make a note of that name that's still slipping from memory.
Kat's face scrunches up, something close to annoyance, "No. This fucking doofus is dragging me to his grandma's house."
"Doofus? Ouch," Cole questions with mock offence before turning to everyone else, "My nana's been freaking out about me since everything happened, it's not good for her heart rate. I need to see her at least once a week or she'll yell at my mom...who'll yell at me."
Kat snorts, "In other words, he needs moral support because he's scared of his mom."
Cole retaliates with some more complaining that I don't listen to. I can only feel the wind on my cheeks, the stagnant feeling still humming in my chest. My eyes graze the back of Ava's head, her blonde waves over her sweater. She told me she was okay but all I do is worry about her.
My ears perk back to life when suddenly everyone is staring at me.
"What?"
"Cathy's, it's on your way, isn't it?" Riley urges, "You can drive Ava?"
I have no fucking clue what or where Cathy's is but I'm nodding almost immediately, "Yeah, yeah. I can."
I try to hide any piqued emotion in my voice. I'd drive her halfway around the earth, plus, legitimate reasons to be alone together don't come our way often.
I catch Ava's eyes widen, searching me for something. Before Christmas it would've been annoyance, irritation that I'm pushing something off limits. Now it's different, hesitant but prickling with indulgence. This is new for us, for her.
Admitting you want something and letting it play its course are two different things.
"Great!" Riley huffs, spinning back around and re-latching herself to Ava so tightly I wonder if she even realises what I just agreed to.
Cole and Kat say their goodbyes, strolling across the lot to their car. I watch them curiously, a ticking countdown in my head as Riley gives Ava one last hug, squeezing her tightly. We're almost alone.
When all the lingering people are gone, Ava finally turns her attention to me.
"You've got a staring problem," She mumbles, a cheeky little smile on her lips. I can barely register it before she's heading away from me, bounding confidence in her steps.
I catch up to her almost immediately, "You make it hard not to stare."
"And you can tone it down," She flicks blue eyes up at me, so innocent I should've probably anticipated the words that come next, "Save the teasing for when your hand's up my skirt."
Jesus. Her little comebacks do something to me. It's not like she said anything crazy, either. I like her quiet but having her spit back flirty remarks might fuck me up entirely. My imagination blooms with every bratty thing she could say to me. My chest tightens, dangerously.
"Ok, fine," I hum, my car unlocking with a click, "I'll ask you something normal. Did you like the movie?"
She scoffs, rolling her eyes at me -Neither of us were watching the movie.
But that smile stays put. It's genuine, like the ones she flashed me in my apartment.
Warm, relaxed, actually enjoying herself.
It makes me realise how guarded she'd been back then, how many walls have already come down between us.
Being in the car with her is weirdly familiar. I see glimpses of the past, her fluttering lashes through the rear-view mirror, when she was drunk and sliding down the seat.
Like the girls, in the bathroom. That's what she said that night, when she compared herself to women I used to be with.
Those words feel like a lifetime ago but they still linger.
I wish I could find the words to tell her she's nothing like any woman I've ever slept with, fuck, I've never had someone so tangled in my brain that they're all I think about.
Somehow, in a matter of weeks, Ava Quinn has consumed me completely. I can barely believe this didn't happen sooner.
"Where am I taking you?" I ask, eyes flitting between her and the open road.
Ava pauses, the realisation that I agreed to this for the sole reason of being next to her sinking in. I catch the sparkle in her gaze, lulled as she holds her tongue for a second.
"The cafe where I work, it's the same road as the library, you'll know it," She murmurs back, eyes drifting out to face her passenger window, "Just drive home and I'll tell you when to drop me off."
I nod. I didn't exactly spend much time at the library but I know the street.
As I come to a stoplight I take the opportunity to look at her properly again, scan every inch of her face. I slip my hand downwards, gently resting on her thigh as the air stills. It's filled with that comfortable haze, tension subtly surging under everything.
"Look at me," I murmur, watching blonde strands blow beside the half-rolled-down window.
And she turns, with no resistance, no comments, no guilt. Hesitance, maybe, but she wasn't lying about wanting this for real. I can see it across her pink-tinted lips, flushed cheeks, hint of a smile. It only makes my head flick back to the same girl with tears down her cheeks.
"Is everything ok? You know with your...?" The words trail off. She barely likes to acknowledge it, let alone let me say the word. Dad. I wonder, often, what the fuck happened there. If she's this touchy it must've been something bad.
Did he do something to her? Hurt her?
Ava takes a deep breath but nods, gesturing for me to start driving again. The light has flashed back to green. I hadn't noticed at all.
"Thank you for being there," She speaks, quietly and raw with honesty, "Life just fucking sucks sometimes... you don't."
It makes me huff a laugh, inside thoughts slipping out before I can stop them, "Who would've thought you'd ever say that to me?" Way to ruin a moment.
Luckily she just snorts, "You didn't let me finish. I meant you don't suck all the time. You're still an idiot."
"Yeah?"
"Mhm," She nods, and I can feel her eyes burning into the side of my face, "The stunt you pulled today was one thing."
I squeeze my hand on her thigh tighter the second she says those words, the same possessiveness coursing through me. Her body stiffens slightly, but nowhere near as nervous as she was in that cinema. She has no idea how touch-starved she makes me.
"What stunt?" I mutter, purposely naive.
"You know."
It tilt my head and flash her a look, "Describe it to me. In detail."
Ava just shoves me in the arm but an unmistakable smile lights up her face, "This is what I'm talking about! You're an asshole by nature."
"Perhaps," I say, relishing in her playful tone, "But you love it."
She mumbles something under her breath. I don't know whether it's an agreement or she's calling me an asshole again but I don't mind. We both know it's true.
A moment later she rests her hand on top of mine, warm skin suddenly burning together. I clench my jaw, tongue fiddling with the metal in my lip. Are we holding fucking hands? I've never done that, not really.
I hate that I like it. Having her this close to me, reciprocating the touch back. And it's not lust that surges through me either. It's something deeper, trapped between my lungs, my chest and my erratically thumping heart.
I ask myself, for the millionth time: What is this girl doing to me?
Then her voice cracks through the moment.
"Riley doesn't love you being an asshole, though."
God. Why do we have to talk about my sister?
I let out an irritated groan before I can stop it, only grounded by her fingers now threading tighter over mine.
I hate that it's working, that she's using my weakness to bait me into talking about things I avoid.
My brain battles between thinking clearly and letting myself fall into this haze she's got me swept up in.
"Look, I know you like to pretend things don't exist, but they do. You're being unnecessarily difficult with Riley, you've got to cut that shit out."
"Do I now?" I murmur, voice slicing into that ice-cold territory. Shit. Not with Ava, I hate being in that headspace around her. She doesn't deserve the person I am behind my defensive walls.
She swallows a little, like this is taking a lot for her to say.
"You do... for me," Her hand squeezes tighter over mine, "Don't drink so much you crash at home if you know it'll upset her. Don't be late on top of that and make things worse."
Her fragile voice is getting through, at least a little anyway. My brain is having a hard time deciphering the confusing things I'm allowed to feel.
"So, what?" I mutter, eyes narrowed on the road, "You're going to ignore everything that's happened between us if I don't follow her rules?"
"No, Nolan, stop being stupid," Ava huffs, my ears latching onto my name in her mouth, "I'm risking a lot for you, I might even lose a very important person in my life, but I'm trying to put myself first, because I never do.
You're the opposite, you need to be selfless and honestly, it's the least you can fucking do, okay? "
The words are weighted. I don't think I've ever heard her speak for this long about something serious. Her breath stills, my eyes still dragged away from her. She's threatening to push through cracks I'd thought I'd sealed forever.
"She still struggles because of you, I see it in her all the time. Things were going so well and then you threw it away for no reason," The reason was you, my mind answers back silently. "Just take some responsibility. If you really care you'll understand how important this is to me."
There's a crack, somewhere, buried beneath layers of hardened feelings. I want to do the right thing, it just feels like such a chore. But I would, for Ava.
And I should for my sister too.
I remember what she said, in the argument we had all those weeks ago.
That I'm heartless. It rings in my head when I make stupid decisions, when I shut out things I shouldn't ignore.
It hurt, to hear those words, but all I do is make them true.
In full truth I don't want Riley to see me as that person, of course I fucking don't.
I nod eventually, "Fine. I'll make an effort."
When I spin my face to meet her eyes it makes it feel worth it. She's smiling, face glossed with appreciation. Similar to earlier when she said I made her feel better. She breaks me, more than anything else. I should've shut her out, I probably would've if she was anyone else.
But my mind finds her and her pretty face irresistible. Fucking irresistible.
"Talk about something else," I mutter after a moment, very ready to switch back to the territory I'm used to. Our usual conversations.
"Like what?"
"Anything," I shrug, "I just like hearing your voice." It comes out as an almost nonchalant remark, but it doesn't feel casual at all.
So I hear her ramble about another TV show I haven't watched as I drive to Cathy's. Another romance, something with a princess and a knight and other fantasy things I know nothing about. But hearing her giggle when I ask apparently stupid questions is worth it.
Hearing her happy makes me feel more stable too, my hand gripped on her thigh the entire drive, even when she moves hers mid-rambling.
I'm almost disappointed when she tells me to pull over. I come to a stop, parking in the corner of a pretty dark street, barely any cars around. It's not that late but light left the sky a few hours ago. Only the yellowy haze of a streetlight blinks near us.
When I begin to move Ava pauses, "You don't need to come in, I'm fine."
I frown at her, eyes gesturing to the hidden spot my car is slotted in. There's no one out on the street, I can't even see the front of the cafe from where I'm situated. There's no fucking wayin hell I'd let her walk this by herself.
"I'm taking you," I assert, ignoring her and pulling open the door.
When I come round to the other side she's still unsure, "My boss has a stick up her ass, she'll ask who you are and probably scold me for it. It'll be awkward."
"Can't wait," I smile back with a wink.
I notice her lips part in frustration but I'm already walking so she has no choice but to catch up to me. Our hands hover close-by, a reminder of that lingering touch. It still seems odd to just display affection, though.
I promised her I'd kiss her, want her, make her feel the best she ever had when she was ready. Once the floodgate has opened I have a feeling all I'll ever do is touch her.
Ava pushes open the door, theding from the bell attached to it filling the air.
It's quiet, tables empty, half the lights already switched off. It is strangely cute though, rustic and still lingering with Christmas decorations, like something out of those stupid romcoms Ava seems to like.
I follow her, watching as she approaches the counter. Awkwardness seeps through her, nervous to act in front of me the way she does in front of her boss, I guess. I only find it cute, especially when I spot the small line of blush over her cheeks.
Her boss must be really hard on her.
"Hey," Ava hums to whoever has just approached us from the backroom.
I don't have time to look up before I hear my name repeated to me.
"Nole...?"
Not Nolan, Nole. The nickname that feels like a heavy weight, slowly pulling me down.
But it's not slimy like when Diego said it. It's the opposite, familiar in a way that catches me off guard completely. Friendly.
I blink up to make eye contact with a woman in front of me. Short black hair bobs beside her face, silver-framed glasses falling over toned skin and brown eyes. Her jaw is open in obvious disbelief, body stilling as she stares at me.
It takes me a second to connect the dots.
"Mina?" I echo back, voice laced with the same surprise.
She sputters a laugh, face relaxing into one I recognise more. Still, she's different. Very different.
The Mina I knew had hair down to her shoulders, easy to spot thanks to the chunky, pink highlights slotted throughout. They changed every now and then but always found their way back to pink. She had a badly pierced septum and refused to wear glasses despite the fact she couldn't see shit.
She was my friend.
"No fucking way..." Her voice trails off, then her attention switches to Ava, "You know him?"
Ava blinks, not speaking for a second. She's trying to connect the same dots I'm struggling to come to grips with. Her attention flicks between both of us as she eventually coughs up a few words, "Yeah, he's a friend's brother."
A friend's brother.Like that's all we are.
I don't have time to dwell on her wording, though, because I'm dealing with the shock of this.
Seeing someone I haven't seen in over six years.
Mina. She was one of the closest people I had back then, someone I trusted, helped me through a lot of shit.
Someone good amongst a lot of bad.
"Stop staring," Mina asserts after she finishes gawking, a playful smile taking over her face, "Come give me a hug!"
Her arms shoot out and deja vu smothers me. I see parts of long-buried memories, glimpses of her pink hair, us hanging around places we shouldn't have. She crashed at mine a few times actually, when her parents kicked her out. They were a lot harsher than mine were.
I stumble over and return the hug, the embrace a mix of new and old. It's the same person, the same slightly-too-strong grip, but she smells like expensive perfume, not smoke and beer. Her style, what I knew her for, is gone. No piercings, no colourful hair. It's strange.
"I can't believe this..." She mutters again, looking at me like I'm some sort of science experiment, "How have you been? What are you doing at the moment?"
"I've been fine," I reply, "Just moved back here, actually. I'm a photographer."
Her face lights up, sprinkled with glimpses of her younger self, "No way! And I always told you that camera was a waste of time."
I chuckle at that, remembering how annoying I'd be when I was high and insisted that everything was artistic. I have a few photos of Mina from that time, though mostly shitty blurry shots I took half-conscious.
"And you run this place?" I ask, glancing around. It's impressive, really. There was a time I thought we'd both be stuck in a downward spiral forever.
She nods, "Kinda made it my life's mission, I'd have gone insane otherwise."
I laugh again, studying her familiar dark eyes.
This all feels like a dream. A weird, warped future that's not really happening.
From the second I left Ivefield it was obvious we wouldn't stay in contact, after what happened with Diego and his brother.
.. it just wasn't possible. I didn't think I'd see her again.
Definitelynot like this, anyway.
She clears her throat suddenly, acknowledging Ava beside us.
Her face is still, lips pursed closed as she tries to pick apart the situation.
If this is weird for me it's definitely weird for her.
Confusion is written all over her expression, brain working hard to confirm if this is what she thinks it is.
"Wait," Mina says, eyes widening in realisation, "You said a friend's brother? The girl who visits you a million times a week and distracts you at the register?"
Ava's cheeks bloom a little harder, some small embarrassment pushing through, but she nods, blinking her eyes away, "Uh, yes... Riley."
"I knew I recognised her, I'd seen her at Nole's house, back in the day," Mina speaks so freely, like none of this carries any weight. That nickname itself drags me back in time, fills my brain with all the people who used to call me that.
It's funny how life works like that. People's lives intersect at random fucking times, push you down paths that have been sealed off for years.
After Mina grills me with a few more uninteresting questions like where I'm living and what college was like, something in her expression changes. It's apprehensive. It feels subtle though, like only I'm meant to notice.
"Did you hear...?" Her voice is hesitant but I know what she means immediately.
Did I hear who's getting out.
I nod, gently, attention suddenly snapping to Ava. I don't want her hearing this, worrying about a past that doesn't concern her. All she needs to know is that those pieces of shit will leave her alone. The rest is mine to fucking deal with.
Mina catches my reciprocation but still treads lightly, looking away like she's searching for the exact right words.
"Have you seen, uh, anyone, recently? Any more...old friends?" She pushes out after a moment. It's a loaded question. A cryptic question.
So Diego paid her a visit too.
"No, not really," I push back.
But I flash her a small warning with my eyes. Stop. Not in front of her.Mina's eyes narrow, then relax, catching my gesture. My chest uncoils, brain coming down from some spiral where I need to protect Ava.
She shakes her head, "Me neither, just curious."
But that smile is as readable now as it was then.
It's not good. Really not good.
I have to stop pretending that this two month timer just doesn't exist.
Shit.
?? ?????? ??
They know each other.
Worse than that, Nolan has turned my constantly agitated, strung-tight boss into a completely different person. She's smiling, laughing at things he says. They hugged. I don't think I've ever even heard her swear.
"Nole ever mentioned me?" Mina asks suddenly, finally remembering I'm present beside them.
No. He fucking hasn't.
I shake my head, biting my tongue. I don't think I have anything nice to say so I'm going to keep my mouth clamped shut.
She's all over him, well by her standards anyway. I keep watching her hand graze dangerously close to his arm, the way he's looking at her. He's distracted, like he's forgotten I'm here. And my brain is suddenly irritated by every action, the way she squeezed him so tightly - that nickname.
Nole? What sort of nickname is Nole?
I bite my cheek, eyes wanting to look at anything but the two people in front of me but almost being compelled to. Something ugly twists in my gut, spurred on by another one of Mina's giggly laughs. I've literally never heard her laugh, ever.
I think stupid, irrational jealousy has infiltrated my brain again.
I mean, who is Mina to him anyway? An old friend from that past he won't tell me about. She was at his house, she mentioned that.
He fucked most women he knew back then.
There's a big chance she was one of them.
My voice spills out as they're halfway through exchanging numbers, my eyes glaring at their fingers almost touching, "Is the shipment here? Should I start unloading?"
Mina blinks up at me like I'm a ghost. I see a veil of professionalism fall over her face and she clears her throat, obviously too fucking excited to see Nolan that's she's become a completely different person.
"You know what, don't worry about it," She smiles at me, actually smiles, "I'll handle it tomorrow. I'll let you get back home."
I can barely believe the words. Did she just push something back? The same woman who meticulously plans every inch of running this place just let me go home?
"Thank you," I say, before their conversation can reignite, "We should really get going."
She nods, saying a gushed goodbye to Nolan. It all blurs in my ears, time passing at an odd speed.
The air on my face is an instant relief when we finally step outside.
"How do you know each other?" I ask, trying not to sound bothered. It comes out forced anyway, laced with a prickly tone.
Nolan sighs, "She's an old friend."
"Yeah, I gathered."
He frowns at me, gaze sweeping over to my face.
I look away, not wanting my expression to betray me.
God, I need to calm down. This doesn't mean anything, isn't anything.
She's his old friend, which he's allowed to have, and affects me in no way whatsoever. Or at least I tell myself that.
"I'm guessing you both did your secretive, criminal activities together?"
Fuck. That sentence did not sound chill at all.
Nolan laughs, eyes dragging down my turned-away neck. I can feel my skin prickling, these weird emotions messing with my head. He can read me, too well. If I look at him he'll pick up the disdain in my eyes immediately.
"I never thought I'd see her again," Is all he hums back, predictably ignoring anything to do with the past.
And now he has they can go back to being best of friends. Or fuck-buddies, as that's what they most likely were. I cross my arms as we reach the end of the street, swallowing every part of what happened in the cafe. Her laughing, his smiling, them exchanging fucking numbers.
Before I can step off the curb and cross to the dimly-lit parking spot, Nolan's hand grips my arm, firmly spinning me round to face him. It catches me off guard, revealing my irritated expression before I can stop it. My cheeks flush pink.
"You're jealous?" He says, face almost a grin.
"Fuck you," I murmur, narrowing my eyes and continuing my walk.
He chuckles in my ear beside me, "You can't just tell me to fuck myself anytime you don't know how to respond. Do you know how much you do that?"
I ignore him, embarrassment pooling in my stomach. He's laughing because I'm being stupid, because I'm feeling things I shouldn't be. I mean, we're not a couple, we're not together. He can do whatever the fuck he wants. Why should I care about people he slept with a million years ago?
"And now you're mad at me?" Nolan purrs, "Because you're jealous?"
I slam the car door in his face.
I only get a minute to think before he's beside me again, trying to force me to look at him through overbearing eye contact. I exhale heavily, squeezing my eyes shut.
I'm getting worked up over nothing, like usual.
Jesus, I'm pathetic.
"I won't laugh at you again, I promise," Nolan says and I feel him leaning closer as my eyes stick to the dark window, "You being jealous...it's cute."
That makes me throw him a scowl. Cute?
"I'm sorry that the image of you and my boss fuckingdisturbs me," I mutter sarcastically, a muffle that makes it hard to discern any of the words.
It was spiteful, meant to be a jab at Nolan. He's doing that thing where he works me up, enjoys it, finds it all amusing. It feels heavier under this context, a thrumming undercurrent in the air.
His eyes search mine, blankly for a second, then flashing darker. His smile flicks into a smirk, any part of him wanting to laugh fading away.
"That's what pisses you off...us fucking?"
My eyes narrow. His head is tilted now too, watching, teasing.
So they did sleep together?
"We always used to sit together," He murmurs, gaze not wavering, "Her on my lap, sometimes. I'd be wasted and have my hand around her waist..."
The words cut through me, like a knife slashed across my thoughts. Why is he telling me this? His voice is almost a whisper, every sentence so calculated.
"We were close...really close, actually."
I see another glimpse of their interaction just now, all those women I used to see in his house, the stupid images he's describing. My chest tightens, fire brimming under my skin.
He's winding me up on purpose. Jealousy seems like anger, at first, but we both know it's driven by want. I don't hate Mina, I hate that I want to be her. I want to be the one under him, want his hand over my waist.
"Does that...make you jealous?" He says after all the other hurtful words are over.
My eyes graze his lips, flicking back up to those green flecks in his eyes. His taunting has worked, because we're closer than ever now. The lazy smile on his lips is made more serious by the desire filtering through his expression.
I gulp, heart hammering faster than it should.
"No," I reply.
He doesn't get to win this.
"No?"
I shake my head, weakly, but it's a protest nonetheless.
"Really?" He breathes again, suddenly breaking our stalemate to reach over me.
His hands ghost over my thighs, my body suddenly aching the touch from the cinema. His fingers reaching my upper skin, the fabric of my panties. Heat starts to pool below me embarrassingly quickly.
But the touch is brief, because his hands find a different resting place.
The sides of my hips.
My mask of calmness slips, the tiny hitch in my breath making his lips curl up even more. It's firm touch, laced with clear possessiveness. It gives me stability and breaks me all at the same time.
"What are you...?" I try to ask, but my voice is forced into a sharp breath.
Nolan pulls me out of the seat with impressive ease, whipping me round so my legs fall on either side of his waist. He pushes his seat back so my ass isn't resting directly on the steering wheel. It's still a little cramped, probably not enough to have me straddling him. But I am.
It happened so quickly. My hair falls in curtains around my face suddenly, the ends landing down on Nolan's chest. My hands steady on his shoulders, a gentle silence consuming us again. I study his face, almost able to hear the thump of his own heartbeat.
"This doesn't make you feel anything?" He hums, pulling me down to brush his lips against my ear, "The thought of another woman on top of me?"
Even if he wanted me to succumb to his stupid teasing my mind is now on something else. When he dragged me down closer I was forced to sit down properly, over his crotch. The clear feeling of his cock pushing into me makes everything in my head flood away.
He's already half-hard.
I try to blink away the surprise of the sensation but I'm still not listening to him. My thighs are two seconds away from clamping down harder, wetness pools at my core, an ache travels through me.
"Ava," He hums, pushing hair behind my ear to attract my attention again, "You distracted?"
I stare at him, finding a quiet voice, "I hate you."
His face blooms into that cunning smile that I hate and before I can register why his hips thrust up. It's subtle, more of a shift of his lower half than anything, but his cock presses harder into the thin fabric covering my underwear, forcing my skirt higher.
A heated breath, almost a moan, escapes my mouth.
"This doesn't seem like hate," Nolan keeps taunting. But he's not really smiling anymore, his lips are parted, voice thick with his own arousal. He's fading into that desire utopia that only ever makes us do things we shouldn't.
I take that as an opportunity, his little loss of control.
Two can play at this game.
Excruciatingly slowly, I roll my hips, dragging my pussy over his length as intentionally as I can. The movement very slightly brushes my clit, a spark of pleasure shooting through me. I can feel the wetness leaking out between my thighs now.
Nolan lets out a deep, breathy groan.
Fuck.
"Pretty girl-" He growls, eyes now fixated on my thighs, "You're playing a dangerous game."
My hips roll again, this time less of a conscious choice. The buzz stirring in me craves more, is dying to feel his cock against every sensitive nerve.
He looks at me, trying to decipher whatever's flashing through my eyes.
"Another woman isn't on top of you..." I manage to push out, but it comes out all dry and broken. The last words are a whispered moan, "I am."
A rhythm is settling. My legs rock back and forth, pushing my body over the tent under his pants, fully hard and creating the perfect friction. It's been so long since I've felt raw desire like this, my body's clearly been burning for it.
I can feel apprehension melting away as my next grind is stronger, my clit sparking with pleasure as I roll over it intentionally. My mind blurs but I can hear myself, the stupidly desperate noises floating into the air.
"Shit-" Nolan groans, matching my own noises. His hands tighten around my hips. almost guiding every one of my movements, "Remind me to make you jealous all the time."
I glance down at him, his messy hair, being partially squished by the seat behind him. His eyes burn through me, turbulent and wild with pleasure. Still, I can tell he's holding back, not taking full control.
He licks his lips, breath unsteady no matter how much he tries to control it. My eyes glue to them and everything I want from him rushes back.
"Kiss me," I breathe.
My forehead falls against his, our faces so close I almost feel like we're one person.
I want him to touch me properly, want to be consumed by whatever darkness he's still holding back.
I feel another one of his instinctual thrusts and it pushes my mouth open harder, ready to let him devour me with his tongue.
But he shakes his head.
"No."
I pause my movements, surprised. A pleading look sparkles through my eyes, hungry with the parts of me that are weak with pleasure. I'm so wet it hurts.
Why not? I'm finally giving him the permission he so desperately wants. I'm practically riding him, reducing both of us to pathetic little moans, but he's still trying to take my bullshit higher ground. It doesn't mean anything anymore. Not now.
"Fuck- Ava, don't look at me like that," He hisses. He's fighting the things he desperately wants.
I just roll my hips again, nice and slow. His eyes blow slightly wider, hips twitching to meet the pleasure pooling between us. I reach down to his ear.
"You know, I'm starting to think you don't want to kiss me," I murmur tauntingly. I know he does. If I have to play his games to get what I want then so be it.
Before letting him respond I graze his earlobe with my teeth, an almost-kiss, my lips only lightly dusting his ear. He shifts beneath me and it takes everything in me not to give in and litter kisses down his neck.
But then he's suddenly dragging me away from his face. He stills my hips with his hands too, stopping the friction, the pleasure.
"I've told you what I want, just not here, not dry-humping in my fucking car," His voice is strained, one hand coming up to cup my cheek, "Though you're making it really fucking difficult."
He might be right, that this is recklessly not special. And maybe I'm a hypocrite for making a kiss a big deal in the first place. But then again, there never seems to be a good time for this.
My sex-hazed brain is convinced now is as good a time as any.
"When then?" I pant, reflexively trying to feel his hardness beneath me again but his hands still plant me firmly frozen.
Time stretches, warmth now exploding out the walls of this confined space.
"New years," he whispers, "Midnight. You're mine."
I lean my face into his hand, smiling at how sincere he sounds. Like he really cares about this stupid kiss, because I do.
"Promise?"
He nods, "Promise."
I don't seem to care about the logistics of that, how the hell I'm going to sneak away from Riley on new years even to make-out with her stupid brother, I just know that I want it. It might not be any better than the position we're in right now, but it's a gesture.
It feels special.
Nolan moves forward, catching me off guard. For second I wonder if he changed his mind, but his lips find my forehead instead, placing a gentle kiss there. It's brief but unexpected. My heart tangles itself into a tighter ball.
I want to stay on his lap longer but I can't trust myself not to push against his crotch again, chase that robbed relief. I haven't had sex in two years, apparently that makes me very fucking needy. Any rational thoughts melted away completely.
My cheeks start to blush a belated red as I let him guide me off him, the reality of what I just did setting in. There's a large chance I would've done a lot more if he hadn't stopped us.
Once the air settles again, a new question pops in my mind, curiosity getting the better of me.
"So did you actually ever...? You and Mina?"
He snorts a laugh, smiling. His head tilts to the side, eyes gently caressing my skin.
"What?" I mutter.
He shakes her head, "No, we didn't sleep together. I'm not her type."
I frown because he's still grinning like an idiot. What's the catch?
After a second he adds, "Her type is women."
?? ??