Chapter 20
TWENTY
COLTON
“Your mouth is amazing, babe.” I lay in Tex’s arms in my bed, my head resting on his chest. We’d opted for blowjobs first tonight and studying second. The chill outside contrasted with the cozy warmth of my naked body beside his in bed. I didn’t want to get up.
“Thanks. I’m not sure if I like your mouth or your ass more. They’re both amazing.” A rumbling chuckle escaped Tex’s throat. “I’m sort of hungry, though. How about we order some food? We could DoorDash Chinese?”
“Yeah, sure.” I rolled onto my back. It was time to get out of bed.
Hard rapping filtered in from the main room.
“Is someone at your door?” Tex planted the heel of his hand on his forehead.
“Maybe.” Huffing a sigh, I stood and slid my underwear on, and then stepped toward the hallway.
“Hey, don’t answer the door in your underwear. No one should see that but me.” Tex choked on a laugh.
“I’m sure it’s an delivery. I ordered some shit yesterday and a lot of times the delivery driver knocks so I grab it before I get porch pirated.
” As I ambled into the main room, the knocking came again, harder.
What the hell? Maybe the driver wanted to be certain I got my package.
I stopped at the door and swung it open a few inches, the chilly night air sweeping across my skin.
“Colton. Why aren’t you dressed?” With a shake of his head and a quick laugh, Dad shoved the door open, brushed past me, and strode into my apartment. “It’s cold as hell out there. I thought it was supposed to be warm in Arizona in December.”
My heart jolted. “Dad, what are—” My gaze caught movement in the hallway. Oh, fuck…
“Hey, babe, I was thinking…” Tex lumbered into the room, wearing only his briefs. He halted, staring my father down. “Um…”
Dad gaped, examining Tex as if he were a murderer.
“Who are…” His eyes narrowed. “Who the fuck are you and why are you in my son’s apartment naked?
” He swiveled, his glare focusing on me.
Waving a finger at me, he said, “What’s going on, Colton?
Why are you and this, this man almost naked in your apartment? ”
“Dad, uh, there’s something I have to tell you.” With my palms raised, I stepped toward him, nausea balling in my gut. God, why did this have to happen with me in my fucking underwear?
“You’re damn right you have something to tell me.” He planted his hands on his hips. “You’re not a homo, are you?”
Tex’s brows shot up. “A better term would be gay, but no, he’s…” Wincing, Tex scoffed and jogged into the hallway. “I’ll be right back. I’m putting some clothes on.”
“Gay? You’re fucking gay now? When did this happen?” Dad leered at me. “Did he do this to you?” He pointed at Tex as he appeared in the hallway again, now dressed in his team joggers and hoodie.
Tex jogged to me and handed me my jeans and sweater. “Here.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled. I’d never dressed so quickly in my life, even with my hands trembling. This could be my worst nightmare.
“You…you’re the offensive lineman he tutors. Tex Rowlings?” Dad’s eyes widened. “Have you been fucking my son?”
Tex balked. “Not really, well, sort of, uh…I love him. We love each other. He’s my boyfriend.” He threw his arm around me and hauled me against his side.
“Boyfriend?” Dad’s jaw dropped, and he tore his glare from Tex to fasten it on me. “Colton, is this true?”
“Yes, Dad, it’s true. I’m, uh, bisexual. I love him.” I hung my head as my eyes stung. I couldn’t let Dad see me cry. He’d think I was weak, and it wouldn’t help.
“No, you’re not.” He snarled and paced the room. “If you were, then why have I only seen you with women?” He stopped at the fireplace and twisted around, his burning glare focused on Tex. “What have you done to my son?”
I had to speak up. I couldn’t let him belittle the man I loved.
With heat exploding in my chest, I stomped toward Dad.
“Leave him alone. He did nothing to me. I’ve always been like this, but you never noticed because you were always absent!
You were continually traveling for work, or leaving for some golf vacation with your buddies!
” My face tensed as the words spat from my mouth.
“I’ve been with lots of men! Especially after Mom died. ”
“What?” He stepped away from me, staring at me as if I were some demon. “H-how could you dishonor your mother’s death like that?”
“Me?” I was so done with his shit. If I lost him forever, so be it.
Trudging closer to him, I poked him in the chest and said, “You were never there for her! I was the one cleaning up the vomit from the chemo. I took responsibility for her doctor’s appointments and taking her meds on time.
” My vision blurred as my voice cracked.
“I was the one who sat by her side and watched her fucking die while you were on some fucking conference in Hawaii. Me. I did. And it almost killed me.”
Dad glanced at Tex and then stared at me, his eyes wide and bottom lip trembling. “What are you saying, Colton?”
Tex grabbed my elbow. “Hey, babe, let’s pause to breathe and then talk this through in a calmer way. You don’t want to regret this later.”
My chest heaved with deep, ragged breaths. “No, Tex, he needs to hear this. I’ve bottled it up for so long I have to get it out.”
“Bottled what up? That you’re a poor, neglected queer kid? Oh, spare me.” Dad scowled and scrubbed his face. “You didn’t want me around! And for the record, the conference in Hawaii was a requirement for my job. Your mother knew that. It wasn’t my fault she decided to die that week.”
With a growl, I saw red, and I lunged at him, fists raised.
Tex snatched me up, sliding his powerful arms under my armpits and holding me in a loose full-Nelson. “Colton, I love you, but I won’t let you hit your father.”
Dad’s face twisted, and he said, “At least Tex has some sense. What’s the matter with you?
” He crept around me like a cat stalking its prey.
“Listen, Colton, because of my job, your mother had the best healthcare and access to the finest doctors. What do you think would have happened if I’d lost it? Huh?”
I wriggled free from Tex and shook off the earlier rage.
“You could have taken some time off. I know they would have let you. But you refused. You didn’t want to see it, to watch her wasting away while the cancer ate her from the inside.
” I wiped the wetness from my eyes. “Why, Dad? Why did you ignore her at the end? Why did you leave me, an eighteen-year-old, to deal with it all alone?” Fuck him, he needed to know it all.
“You were so clueless, you didn’t even fucking know that I overdosed on her leftover pills.
” My breath hitched as my eyes snapped open. Holy fuck, did I say that out loud?
“Babe.” Tex squeezed my hand. “Hey…”
With a sniffle, I glanced at Tex. This wasn’t fair to him. Would he leave me after seeing how ugly I could be? I’d lost all control of myself. The old resentment and pain had burst through my carefully constructed fortifications. “I’m sorry, Tex.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” With a sad grin, he rested his hand on my cheek.
“What do you mean, you overdosed?” Dad stepped toward me, his brows furrowing and hands clenching into fists and opening. “Do you mean that time I got the ER bill? You said you had a bad stomach flu.”
“No, Dad. They had to pump my stomach to save my life.” I clenched my teeth, willing the heat behind my eyes to go the fuck away. “Evan found me unconscious with the pill bottles and called the paramedics.”
“N-no you didn’t. Y-you didn’t do that and you’re not, uh, gay or bi or whatever the hell you called it.
” He strode to the door. “The Colton I know, my son, would never do this. I don’t know who you are.
And my son certainly isn’t a homo.” He stopped and grabbed the doorknob.
“When you come to your senses and stop all this nonsense, I’m staying at Gainey Ranch for a work conference.
” He flung the door open, rushed outside, and slammed it shut.
I stared at the door while numbness floated across my body. Had he just run away from me? “What the hell was that?”
“I…don’t know.” Tex wrapped me up in a bear hug and kissed my head. “Damn it, Colton. I don’t know what to say.”
“I’m sorry, Tex. I don’t understand what came over me. Maybe therapy brought all this shit to the surface.” Burying my face in his neck, the pain overwhelmed me. I blinked and tears tumbled down my cheeks. “Fuck.” I croaked. “I hope you don’t think I’m a psycho.”
“Hush, no, I think you had years of resentment to release. It happens.” He brushed his hand down the back of my hair. “Just let it go and then we’ll figure out what to do next, okay?”
With a sniffle, I nodded, and the pain inside me subsided. Tex wouldn’t leave me. Not like my father. He was still here. At least I had him…and Evan.
“Your dad told us where he was staying, so I’m sure when he’s had time to process all of this, he’ll talk.” He slowly released me and grabbed my shoulders, his gaze fixing on mine. “Can you call your therapist as an emergency right now? I’d say this is an emergency.”
“Uh, yeah, I can.” Wiping my eyes, I ambled to the coffee table, picked up my phone and dropped onto the couch while I dialed his number.
Tex fell in beside me, resting his hand between my shoulder blades.
I’d spilled the horrible story of what happened to my therapist with Tex hearing my half of the conversation, and the therapist calmed me down further.
He also made an appointment to meet with me tomorrow, so we could calmly practice the discussion I needed to have with my father.
The sole positive aspect of this was that Dad had said he was open to a discussion when he’d left.
I hung up the call and leaned into Tex’s side.
“So, what’s the plan? You’ll meet with your therapist and then see your dad? Do you want me to join you?” Tex turned toward me, resting his forehead on the side of my head.