Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
ZANDER
I’ve had trouble sleeping for the past few days, thinking of Kerian’s bruised jaw and listless eyes at the party. I never thought I’d see that expression on his face and it broke my fucking heart. How can parents treat their kid like that? How can a dad wail on his child and think they owe him something?
My parents never struck us, hell, they barely yelled. Colson and I did dumb shit to warrant our dad snapping or our mother wanting to wring our necks, but the most they did was give us this universal disappointed look that made us feel like shit faster than a fist or a raised voice could.
Seeing what Kerian’s dad’s anger did to him. Fuck, I’ve never been violent, but I wanted to find him and fucking kill him.
Every night, I’ve been checking on him, and every night, he messages me back telling me to fuck off. It never fails to make me laugh, even though I’m sure he thinks I’m being overbearing. Whatever. Don’t give a fuck if he’s unhappy about it; he knows he can’t stop me.
A wide yawn stretches my mouth as I try to focus on what my professor is saying. Nothing is making sense, everything sounds like gibberish as my mind flies away from me. There’s a long weekend starting today and I’m trying to make plans for me and Kerian. I’m not failing this Business Law class, so not paying attention for one day won’t kill me.
My phone vibrates in my pocket and I stealthily pull it out. This professor is a fucking dinosaur, always bitching about texting and having our phones out in class. But he can eat a dick.
I side-eye my screen when I see a text from Russ.
Russ: supposed to be a kegger this weekend at the Rho Sigma house. You down?
Me: Nope got plans this weekend
Russ sends me the eyeball emoji. Nosey fucker. I chuckle as I text him back.
Me: gonna be away. b safe
Russ: Always am. See you in a few.
I don’t know why he texted me when I’ll see him at practice, though he probably just heard about it and wanted to ask before he forgot.
My mind wanders to what I have planned, wondering if it’ll even work. I mean, it should, right? Like my dad used to say, it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission. I’m optimistic my plans will unfold how I want them to. If not, well…
Class is dismissed twenty minutes later, without me knowing what the fuck was going on. Oh well, I can look through the SparkNotes and get the gist of it.
I want to go back to my room and take a nap, but Russ and Oakley catch me as I’m walking across the quad and make me join them in the caf. We shoot the shit for a little while before we have to get ready for practice. It’s nice being around them, as I’ve been isolating from everyone after seeing the state of Kerian’s face. I wasn’t good company, thinking about putting my fist through a wall or getting Luca to use his computer skills to find Kerian’s dad so I could pay him a visit. It would have been reckless, finding a rich asshole and beating him to a pulp. It would have ruined everything I’ve worked hard to achieve, but I didn’t care. I would have done it for Kerian and not regretted it for a second.
That’s how I know I’m in love with that asshole. No matter how much I cared for someone, I would never risk my future for them. No one but Mom and Colson. No one but the people I love. Seeing Kerian beat up had me seeing red, ready to toss it all away with both hands just to have the satisfaction of seeing his father’s blood run down my fist and his face swollen beyond recognition.
Fuck, Kerian is rubbing off on me. I am not violent, but it seems when someone fucks with him, it pushes me over the edge.
Practice is tiring as fuck, but productive. We have a game next week, but Coach took it easy on us because of our last win.
After I shower and tell Russ to have a good weekend, I hurry back to my room to pack a bag. Luca watches me as I rush around the room making sure I have everything I’ll need.
“You’re only going home for a few days,” he says, motioning to my overflowing bag.
I stuff a pack of brand new underwear inside and, with effort, zip it closed. Looking at my roommate, I smile and shoulder my pack. “I know. Don’t party too hard this weekend, yeah?”
His cheeks turn red as he pulls his knees to his chest. “I won’t. I’ll… I’ll be out, but no parties.”
I turn to him and really look at him. He looks… different. Not bad but… I can’t explain it. Like he has a secret he doesn’t want to tell me.
“You okay?”
Wide brown eyes meet mine. “Yeah. I’m good. Why… why wouldn’t I be?”
I shrug, adjusting the strap of the bag onto my shoulder. “You look different. Less… rigid? Like your shoulders are all loose and shit. You been getting laid, Luca?”
His cheeks darken as he ducks his head. “No. Nothing like that. I’m not doing anything. Going to class. You know me.” His nervous chuckle seems even more out of place than his relaxed form. Something is up with him, that’s for sure.
“When I get back,” I say, waiting until he meets my eyes to continue talking, “we’re going to hang out. Just me and you, okay? It’s been a while.”
Luca smiles, pushing his hair back from his eyes. “I’d like that. How are you and Kerian doing? He hasn’t been over all week.”
I smile, rubbing the back of my neck. “We’re doing good. I’m going to go see him now.”
He nods, smiling. “Have fun this weekend.”
“You too.”
I rush out of the room and go to my car. I smile as I slide behind the wheel. When I was sixteen, my mother tossed me the keys of my dad’s old car, telling me not to have sex in the back seat and become a teen dad. He passed away when I was ten, and his car was the one thing I wanted that he left behind. It wasn’t anything fancy, but he taught me how to change the oil, change a tire, top up my fluids, and he taught me basic car-safety. It was almost like my father would have wanted me to have it.
The smile slips from my face as I once again think about Slade’s beat-up face, the bruises he got from his dad. That fucking asshole.
I push thoughts of bruised faces and split lips from my mind as I head in the direction of Meridian University.
Twenty minutes later, after spotting Kerian’s car in the parking lot, I take the stairs up to his apartment two at a time. I knock on the door, excitement and nerves dancing in my belly. I probably should have texted Kerian before I showed up unannounced, but again, I’ll ask forgiveness, not permission.
He opens the door, a look of confusion crossing his face. His jaw shows no sign of bruising, though there is still a small split in his lip. I have to swallow my rage before I smile at him.
“Why are you here, Dimples? You ever heard of calling first?”
I take him in, from his bare feet, gym shorts, and oversized shirt. It’s not a GQ outfit by a long stretch, but he looks fucking edible. Comfortable and relaxed. Like being out from under his father’s shitty influence has done wonders for him. He looks lighter, almost happier… if Kerian can be happy.
I lean against the wall by the door, crossing my arms over my chest with a grin. “Yeah, but where’s the fun in that?”
Kerian scoffs and steps back, allowing me to come inside. “What do you want?”
“Get dressed. We’re leaving.”
His eyebrows shoot up, a smile tipping up his lips. “Yeah? Where to?”
“Socks, shoes, pants. Now, Slade. We gotta go.”
I think he’s going to ask questions or even give me shit for being demanding, but instead he just shrugs and heads to his room. Over his shoulder he asks, “Do I need to bring anything?”
“Just your usual shit. Wallet, keys, a jacket. It’s getting cool outside.” I don’t want to give away too much. All he needs to know is he’s coming with me.
It takes him less than ten minutes to get dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a gray button-down. I’m surprised he has on actual clothes, and not gym clothes like we usually wear. Then again, I’m dressed similarly, though my shirt is sky blue.
I take him in, how the shirt grips his biceps, how his pecs are just visible beneath the undone top button, how the veins in his arms pop from the rolled-up sleeves. Fuck, this man is hot.
And he’s mine.
He tilts his head to the side with a smirk. “You gonna stare at me all day or are we leaving?”
I scoff and brush past him. When we get to my car, I open the passenger door for him.
Before he gets in, he pushes me against the car and kisses me hard. My arms go immediately around his waist, pulling him in close as he ravages my mouth. I moan, wishing we had stayed inside for a quickie before we got on the road.
It’s been weeks since we’ve fucked. The past few times he’s come over to my dorm, the most we’ve done is exchange blow jobs. It would have been nice to feel him stretching me wide, pounding into me until I forgot how to speak. That can always be arranged when we get to our destination.
Kerian snatches his mouth from mine, pressing our foreheads together. “I’m glad you came, Dimples.”
That’s as close as I’ll get to an “I missed you” from him. I’ll take it.
“Me too. Come on. We have a bit of a drive.”
“Where exactly are you taking me?”
“Away. Climb in.”
I close the door when he’s settled inside and has his seatbelt on. The fabric are frayed and my car is rusted and old, but Kerian relaxes as if it’s a luxury vehicle.
Once behind the wheel, I pull out and aim my car west, towards home.
I wanted to ask him to come home with me before, but the night I planned to was the night he said all that fucked-up shit to me. Now, I’m not asking. He’s coming home with me.
Besides, I want Mom to meet him. She’s kind and sweet. He needs that.
When we pass Evergreen, I feel Kerian’s gaze drift over to me. “Where are we going?”
I look over at him briefly before I hop on the freeway. “Home. My home. It’s a long weekend and I promised my mother I’d come see her.”
His eyes widen. “Shit, Braithe. I’m not the meet-the-parents type.”
I shrug, glancing at him nervously. “I’m not turning around, Slade. So you better become the meet-the-parents type.”
Kerian’s scowl makes me grin. I place my hand on the center console, palm up. I catch his eye roll before I face the road again. In the next second, his warm palm is against mine, our fingers threading. I give his hand a squeeze. “It’ll be fine. They’ll love you.”
He makes a noise between a scoff and a grunt. “Yeah, I’m sure your brother thinks I’m a fucking saint.”
A laugh bursts from my throat as I think about how Colson riled Kerian up. No doubt my brother will give him shit, but Kerian can handle it. “Colson doesn’t live with my mother, so it’ll be fine.” I squeeze his hand once more. “I’m excited for you to meet my girl. She’s the best.”
A flash of nervousness crosses his face, but Kerian hides it quickly. “Yeah, okay.”
“Trust me?”
We take the last exit and I stop at a red light. I look over at him and see different emotions cross his face—that initial nervousness, wariness, then resignation. “Yeah, I guess I do.”
The light turns green, but I lean over and kiss him anyway, ignoring the horns honking behind us. “I trust you too,” I say against his lips.
“Yeah, yeah. Drive before someone fucking road rages us.”
I chuckle and pull off just as the light turns yellow. I look in the rearview and see the guy behind us flipping me off. Oh well. Kissing Kerian is worth him missing the light.
While we drive through my hometown, I point out places to Kerian—my high school, our local skate park where I’d hang out with my friends, where my father is buried, the movie theater where I had my first job. It’s probably nerves that have me pointing everything out along the way. I wanted him to come home with me, but what if he hates it? What if he doesn’t like my family? I promised myself I wouldn’t date someone who kept me away from my family after Megan. I can’t give Kerian up, but I would still put my family first.
I don’t want it to come to that.
I turn into our driveway, pulling up behind Colson’s work truck. “We’re here.”
Seeing my childhood home after months of being away makes me smile. I know the four walls of that house are packed to the brim with deep affection and acceptance. I’ve never known a bad day in this house. I’ve never felt hate, anger, or neglect in that house. Colson and I have been surrounded by love.
Kerian looks through the windshield, squinting his eyes. “You grew up here?” A look I can’t decipher crosses his face.
I look back at it, trying to see it as he does. It’s a modest brick house, with a large black door and black shutters. The porch is small, only enough room for a potted plant and the welcome mat. The garden could use some sprucing, but most of the shrubs and plants are still alive. My mother added some lights to the path, and since it’s close to dusk they’re on, illuminating the walkway.
It’s small and cozy, but this is my home.
Smiling, I nod and open the door. “Yeah, I did. I’ll show you my room. You might get lucky.” I wink at him before I step out of the car. I pull my bag from the back seat and go around the passenger side to grab his hand. “Come on.”
“I didn’t pack anything,” he says, eyeing my pack.
“Don’t worry.” I pat the bag. “I got you covered. Even got you some underwear.” He raises an eyebrow at me and I cackle. “They’re brand new, Slade.”
He opens his mouth to say something, but the front door flies open and my mother fills the doorway. “Zander! I wasn’t expecting you!”
She pushes the screen door open and has me wrapped in her arms before I can get across the threshold. I sink into the hug, breathing in her familiar scent. She’s smelled like flowers since I can remember, the scent always making me think of love and warm hugs.
Mom pulls back, looking me over. “You’re skinny. Are you not eating?”
I have to fight to keep my eye roll to myself. “I am eating, Mom. I have practice too. Working off calories.”
She waves me off with a tut. “Or you’re not eating enough.”
This time, I do roll my eyes, earning me a swat from the towel she has thrown over her shoulder. I chuckle and move back, standing beside Kerian. “Mom, this is Kerian. My boy—my friend . Kerian, this is my mom, Beth.”
I’m shocked to see a friendly smile cross Kerian’s face, so unlike the cocky grin I’m used to. He steps forward with his hand outstretched. “Nice to meet you.”
Mom smiles up at him, her eyes twinkling. “Friend, huh?” She winks at me, then gently bats Kerian’s hand out of the way. Like he’s not over six feet—at least a foot taller than her—she pulls him into a hug. “It’s a pleasure to meet the man who has my boy so smitten.”
“Mom,” I groan, looking at Kerian in embarrassment. But Kerian isn’t looking at me with laughter dancing in his eyes. No, he looks shocked, almost panicked. Like he doesn’t know how to respond to my mother’s casual affection.
Just as I’m ready to put him out of his misery and break the hug, he hesitantly wraps his arms around her. It’s awkward, but Mom either doesn’t mind or doesn’t care. She pulls back to look at him, frowning slightly. “You’re thin too. Come on. I’ll make some dinner. How do pancakes sound?”
When Kerian smiles down at her, it looks more solid this time, more real . “I like pancakes.”
“So do I,” Colson says, coming from the kitchen. “Good to see you, little bro.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I give him a one shouldered hug. “You remember Kerian.” I thumb behind me.
“Your pitbull. Is he gonna attack again?”
I look at Kerian, who is shooting a deadpan look at Colson. “I didn’t know who you were.”
“All good,” Colson says, holding his hand out for Kerian to shake. “It’s good that my brother has a bodyguard.”
“That’s enough, Colson,” I tell him, socking him in the arm playfully. “If you’re jealous, just say that.”
He barks a laugh. “Only a little.” He walks over to Mom and throws an arm around her shoulder. “Now, about those pancakes.”
“You greedy little cuss,” she murmurs with a laugh in her tone. “Come on, boys. You can keep me company while I cook.”
The next three hours are filled with us eating, talking, and laughing. After the first twenty minutes, Kerian loosened up and joined in, ribbing Colson and me, while being a perfectly respectable man towards my mother. It’s fucking eerie to watch, but it doesn’t seem to be an act. I know Kerian well enough to know when he has up a wall, but during dinner, it wasn’t there. He genuinely enjoyed himself.
After the last pancake is eaten and we’re all trading yawns, Mom shoos us off to bed. “You think you can help me with the garden tomorrow?” she asks after Colson goes to his childhood bedroom. When he stays too late, he crashes here instead of driving across town when he’s tired. “Those weeds need to go, but there are far too many for me to rip up alone.”
“Yep. Can it be the afternoon, though? I’m exhausted from practice today.”
She pats my cheek, smiling up at me. “Of course, baby. Thank you. Sleep well, you two.” She pats Kerian’s cheek as well, and if I’m not mistaken, his eyes go soft at the touch.
I kiss her cheek and bid her goodnight as I pull Kerian down the hallway.
Pushing open the door to my childhood bedroom, I click on the light and allow Kerian to step inside. My mother hasn’t changed anything, from my shelf with all my trophies to the movie posters on the wall. She even left my Spider-Man blanket and pillow set on my bed.
“Peter Parker crush?” Kerian asks, flopping onto my bed.
“Nope. You’re the first guy I’ve crushed on.” I drop my duffle bag and open it, rummaging around for a pair of shorts. I toss them over to him so he can get changed for bed.
Any other time, I would ogle him while he gets undressed, but I’m so tired I can’t even muster it. I just want to lie in bed and wrap myself around him.
When he’s clad in only my shorts, he lies back in the bed and opens his arms to me. “Come here, Zander. You look ready to fall over.”
I scramble onto the bed, tucking myself as close to him as I can. His warm arms wrap around me, holding me close. “I’m so tired,” I say around a yawn. “I’m glad you came.”
“Did I have a choice?” he asks sardonically.
“Not really. But I’m glad you didn’t make it a thing.”
He tips my chin up so I’m looking into his eyes. “Thanks for bringing me. Your family is… different.”
“Bad different?” I want him to like my family. They’re all I have and I don’t want to give up one for the other. Colson may have been an asshole to him, but Kerian kinda deserved it. They seemed to get along tonight, but who knows what he’s really thinking.
But Kerian shakes his head and I breathe a sigh of relief. “Not bad at all, Dimples.”
I crane my neck to plant a gentle kiss on his lips. “Good night, Kerian.”
“Night, Zander.”