Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
ZANDER
Friday
Me: I will not say good morning to u again
Me: Did I do something
Me: I really don’t like this Kerian
Me: Just tell me ur okay or I swear to god i’m coming there right now to make sure ur not fuckin dead
Kerian: I’m good. Just need some time.
After three days, this asshole messages me and tells me he needs some time? He could have fucking told me that on Wednesday.
“Fucking asshole,” I mutter as I walk to my next class, staring at the six words Kerian just messaged me after three fucking days.
I thought we were over this. After what happened the night of the party, I thought we had talked about him not treating me like shit anymore. Knowing Kerian, I guess he thinks that treating me like shit means yelling or saying mean things to me.
“Fucking spoiler alert, it’s this,” I say as my thumb flies across the screen.
Me: Kerian i swear to god. Ur frustrating.
Before I can shoot off another message expressing my annoyance, I’m shoulder checked by someone, my phone flying and their book dropping on my foot.
“Son of a bitch,” I say, looking at the culprit who bumped into me. “What the fuck man?”
Words die on my lips as I meet the eyes of Professor Levine. He’s one of the theater professors, which is weird since he’s built like a fucking linebacker—probably because he was one at Evergreen, like, a million years ago. He’s handsome and has this vibe about him that makes anything he does seem like the most natural thing for him. So him being a theater teacher doesn’t even look out of the ordinary. There’s a bit of darkness that surrounds him too. Not like Kerian’s dark, but like he has a secret he’s never told anyone.
“Mr. Braithe,” he says, his deep voice almost chilling.
“Shit, sorry Professor. You good?”
His lips twitch as he bends to grab his book and my phone, tossing it to me. “Yes, Mr. Braithe. I’m good. Are you? You seem… distracted.”
He doesn’t know much about me, other than my game and that I used to date Megan, who takes a theater class. We’d chat after class sometimes, with him giving me pointers on how to use my O line more. He has a good eye for offense, so I used some of his advice.
I sigh and run my hands through my hair. “Yes, sir. I’m good. I am distracted, but nothing a little sleep won’t cure.”
He nods as he adjusts his glasses. “Then keep your head up and watch where you’re going, kid.” He gives me a slight grin to take the sting from his words.
“Yes sir. Sorry about that. Have a good one, Professor.”
“You too, Mr. Braithe.”
I hurry away before I spill the beans to a virtual stranger. Professor Levine and I might chat, but I can’t go laying my troubles at his feet.
Kerian needs time. Time for what? Away from me? Is he second guessing our time together? Second guessing us ?
No. He can’t, right? We’ve been having a great time. From the way he treats me, how he touches me, kisses me, fucks me. He can’t be second guessing. He might not be ready to tell me he loves me, but we’re good.
Right?
For the rest of the day and through the night I can think about nothing but Kerian’s text.
Just need some time.
Yeah, fuck that. Fuck him needing time. Last time something like this happened, we had a terrible fight. I didn’t think we’d come back from it.
I can’t go through that again. If Kerian is done, then he needs to fucking tell me to my face. None of this cryptic text shit.
It’s game day for Kerian, but I couldn’t care less. I need answers and I need them right fucking now.
Well, after practice. Coach would have my ass if I told him I missed practice because my boyfriend was being a dick.
Is Kerian even my boyfriend? I fucking know nothing and I need answers.
By the time I finish practice and shower, Meridian is just wrapping up their first half. I sneak down to the sidelines to look for Kerian, but he’s on the field. I look at the game clock and see there’s less than a minute left in the half, so I head to their locker room and wait by the door. It’s stupid, cornering him like this, but I can’t… I’ve been going fucking crazy trying to figure out what’s going on. Three days of radio silence? Yeah, it’s not good for me.
The crowd cheers and I know the half is finished. Hopefully, it also means Kerian got the touchdown. Even when he pisses me off, I still root for him.
Yep, I got it bad.
A minute later, I hear cleats sounding at the end of the tunnel, the clamor getting louder as more players walk down to the locker room.
I push off the wall and take a step or two away from the locker room entrance, giving the players space.
“The fuck are you doing here?” someone on Kerian’s team says when he meets my eyes. I raise an eyebrow, trying to place him. But I’ve never seen this guy in my life. “This ain’t your school, Braithe. So get the fuck?—”
“Finish that sentence and I’ll fucking end you,” Kerian growls, stepping around the guy who was talking shit and standing in front of me. “I’m already sick of your shit, Easton. Back the fuck off.”
The dude—Easton—shoots me a glare before he looks at Kerian. “Whatever.”
After the loud mouthed fucker, Easton, goes into the locker room, Kerian turns around and looks at me. “What are you doing here, Braithe?”
“What the fuck? What do you mean? I need to know what the fuck is going on with you. You need time? Why?” I pause, swallowing past the lump in my throat. “If I did something?—”
Kerian sighs, sounding suddenly exhausted. “You didn’t. Go home, Zander.”
I grab his arm as he turns away, stopping him from walking off before he tells me what the fuck is going on.
“God damn it, Kerian!” I shout, my voice echoing through the tunnel. “I told you, you can’t treat me like shit. You said you wouldn’t! We fucking talked about this!”
He sighs, rubbing his hand through his sweaty hair. “Zander. I’m not?—”
“You are. Three days. Three fucking days, Kerian! I hear nothing. Then you tell me you need time? Time for fucking what? Are you done? Do you… do you want to stop this?”
“When the fuck did I say… No, Zander, it’s not?—”
“It’s not what?” I ask, my breathing coming out hard. “It’s not what? If you’re done, just tell me that!”
Kerian grabs me by the shoulders and pushes me against the wall, his blue eyes burning with anger and… something else. “God damn it, Zander. I never said I was done. I’m not trying to treat you like shit. I was trying to figure out how to tell you I fucking love you .”