Chapter 20
LUCERO
Air sawed in and out of my lungs as I raced up the emergency exit stairs to get to Onyx's floor.
I checked my phone, groaning at the time.
My husband hadn't set a time but I didn't want to be late either.
The last thing I wanted was to leave him waiting up again.
There was still blood soaked into the fibers of my clothes and my knuckles were split.
The graze on my bicep throbbed. None of it mattered as I stormed into the apartment.
"Bella?" My heart beat erratically as I moved further inside, looking for Onyx. I placed the container of macaroons down on the table before I started to search for my husband. I checked every room until I stopped outside of his office. The bookshelf was slightly ajar. "Onyx?"
There he was, the man of my dreams, sitting at his desk and poring over papers.
He was so focused I doubted he even noticed that I was there.
I crept inside, staying light on my feet so I didn’t disturb him.
Onyx chewed on his bottom lip, pulling at the thin skin as he circled a few things on the paper in his hand.
His shoulders were tense, nearly kissing his ears.
I lowered myself until my ass rested on the plush carpet. I held my breath to slow myself down, even as my lungs screamed in protest. Tendrils of adrenaline continued to coax my heartbeat, forcing it to race. I ignored it all, content to sit there and wait for Onyx to finish.
Time trickled by, the sight outside the window even darker than before.
He’s so beautiful.
My chest ached with the amount of love I had for him. It was scary, some days, how much I continued to fall in love with him.
Tingles and numbness crept up the back of my thighs and over my ass as I stayed still. My muscles cramped, begging for me to move and stretch. There was no way in hell I was going to ruin the opportunity I’d been awarded. I never got to admire him for so long.
Onyx's pouty lips dipped further into a frown as he grabbed his empty cup. His gaze was glued to his tablet. His perfectly arched brows creased together as his hand began to shake.
Something was wrong. My stomach dropped as unease threatened to swallow me up.
Before I could think about getting up and getting him some more water, he slammed it down.
The sound of glass shattering reverberated around the room.
Little shiny pieces went flying everywhere, coating his desk and turning it into a hazard.
"Fuck!" Onyx swiped everything off his desk, his head was tilted down, his platinum hair obscuring my view of his face. Even so, my chest ached at the anguish in his voice. "Je suis un putain d'idiot. Une pathétique ordure sans valeur. Qui est-ce que j'aide ? Personne."
French poured out of his mouth at a rapid-fire pace.
Even if I was studying the language, there was no way in hell I’d be able to understand him.
However, I knew there was something wrong.
I was up and across the room in seconds.
I snatched Onyx up, pulling him close to my body.
Pain laced up my arm. A quick glance showed that Onyx hadn’t let go of all the glass.
A piece stuck out of my forearm. The pain I felt paled in comparison when I could clearly see the distraught look on my husband’s face.
His gaze was locked onto me but it was like he wasn’t seeing me. My heart throbbed as I hugged him tighter. Words caught in the back of my throat as I found myself lacking in what to say. How did I go about fixing this?
I peeked over his shoulder, looking for the tablet. It had to tell me something, but that, too, was broken. The paperwork was no help.
He began to flail in my arms, his fists crashed down wherever he could land a punch. If it helped him, I'd take it all.
“Bella.” My voice was nothing more than a whisper. It felt like one wrong move, one wrong word, and everything would shatter.
I tightened my hold on Onyx even more and dragged him to the ground with me.
Broken glass crunched under my weight. Physical pain was nothing more than a spit on the anguish I was battling on the inside.
I was at a loss. There was nothing in my life that had prepared me for this.
More pain rained down on my wherever Onyx’s fists connected with my body and his nails sank into my flesh.
I could feel the hot drips of blood sliding down my skin.
There was no way to know if it was all my blood or Onyx’s.
“Laissez-moi partir. éloigne-toi de moi, putain.” His nails clawed into my flesh and pressed into bruises that were still forming. “He’s back,” Onyx said.
Who? I couldn’t hold the question back any longer. “Who? Are you in trouble, Onyx?” Worry burned inside of my stomach as I thought about someone after my husband.
I’d kill ’em.
He shook his head, pushing my hands away. “Why?” The question wasn’t aimed at me, but I still wanted to give him the answer. Anything to stop the pain that was clearly written all over his face.
“Bella, talk to me. Please.” I hugged him tighter. “Whatever it is, you can trust me. I’ll do anything for you.”
Onyx’s mumbling stopped, and for a short second, I thought I’d broken through to him. He pushed at my shoulders, and I loosened my hold just slightly. Our eyes locked and it was as if he was noticing me for the first time since the whole ordeal started.
“Trust you?”
I nodded slowly. Hadn’t I proven time and time again that I’d do anything for him?
Onyx’s glassy gaze flickered between mine briefly. It looked as if he was going to take me up on my offer. To put trust in me. Sparks littered up my back at the thought before they were brushed away by his rejection.
“This has nothing to do with you.” He cleared his throat, moving to push his bloody fingers through his hair. I stopped him just short of accidentally hurting himself more.
“You mean everything to me, Onyx. Anything that is a problem for you is a problem for me.”
He stared at me for a few breaths, and I mentally willed him to see I was being honest.
“Pretty words.” Onyx turned away from me, and it was as if he was slipping a mask on. Placing that uncomfortable distance back between us. “When did you get home?”
No, don't do this to me, bella.
I didn’t want any distance between us. It felt like I’d been closing the small gap day by day, and now, we were heading backwards.
“They aren’t pretty words, it's the truth.” I pleaded for him to believe me. How else could I prove it to him?
“Would you kill your entire family for me?” Onyx asked.
All the air around me went still as my blood became sluggish. What?
“Didn’t think so.” Onyx slipped free of my hold. “Les jolis mots sont des mensonges qui rendent le monde doux.”
“Onyx—”
He lifted a hand, halting anything I was going to say.
“Don’t! Once this business is done, we will never see each other again.
So how about, moving forward, you don’t give me bullshit promises and lies.
You’re not on my side and never will be.
No one can be trusted.” A laugh devoid of any humor filled the room.
“Knowing how fucking crazy you are, you probably ordered the hit on yourself to trap me in this marriage from goddamn hell.”
My chest throbbed in time to my heartbeat, but still, I was lost as to what to say.
“I wouldn’t do?—”
Onyx cut off my words with a look of disdain.
I hadn't seen it shot my way since we had our honeymoon at my family cabin and he thought I was a peddler. “I can’t believe that either. That would mean you would have to have the fucking brain cells to do that. And let's be honest, Lucero, you’re nothing more than muscle.”
No matter what I said right now, it wasn’t going to reach his ears. When words didn’t work, actions were what was important, as my old man always said. I didn’t want to focus on his words. I knew Onyx was scared, hurt, and angry, and if lashing out at me helped him, then so be it.
I stood up and reached for him. “You’re hurt.”
Onyx spread his arms, his face red with anger. He balled his fists and blood dripped to the floor, soaking into the carpet.“What is wrong with you? I’m being a bitch right now.”
I inched closer to him, like approaching a scared animal bound to bolt at the slightest movement. I dropped down, making my bulking form seem not so big.
“Bella, let me bandage your hand.”
Onyx stared at me as if I’d lost my mind, but he gave me his hand. I checked over the bloody wound. “I’m going to pick you up.”
I didn’t wait for confirmation before I scooped him up and headed toward the bathroom. I turned the cool water on and held his small hand under the water. Once the bloodflow slowed, I checked the wound for any glass. My movements were almost mechanical.
“What happened to you?” Onyx said, breaking the silence in the bathroom.
“There was a fight today.” My chest felt heavy with each breath. “I’m not hurt.”
“Your knuckles are split.” Onyx didn’t meet my gaze as he stared at my hand. His gaze felt more like a caress as it moved up my forearm where a piece of glass still protruded. “Fuck?—”
“It doesn’t hurt.”
He chewed his lip, reaching for the piece of glass, and I stopped him. We stayed still for a second, our fingers intertwined, and no words passing between us. It felt like we were standing on thin ice, watching it crack under us with no way to stop it.
Onyx broke the silence, and a soft sigh left him. “You patch me, and I’ll patch you.”
My stomach flipped. “You don’t have too.”
“Ugh, shut up and let me do this.” Onyx chewed his lip as I said nothing in return.
I finished checking over his wound. It wasn’t so deep he was going to need stitches, but just in case, I pulled my phone out and sent a picture to my brother. Either he’d come and patch Onyx up or he’d tell me he was okay.
My husband grabbed my hand and turned it over. He cut the fabric around the piece of glass and checked it out. “Not deep at all. Merci putain.” He took it out, and sure enough, only a small bead of blood bubbled out. “Anywhere else you’re hurt?”
Before I could say anything, Onyx grabbed my shirt and started to unbutton it. “Get undressed.”
I obeyed without question, unable to look away from him. He was so beautiful, even when he looked worried. Was he concerned for me?
My heart skipped a beat as I stripped my clothes off.
“Shit, why didn’t you get this checked over?” Onyx growled. He grabbed my bicep, his hand too small to even fit around it. He poked and prodded at the wound. It was no longer bleeding, but it was a bit redder than it should be.
“You were with your brothers, right?”
I nodded.
“And they let you come home like this?” Onyx grabbed a clean towel and lightly dabbed at the wound. “Ce sont tous des putains d'idiots. Je devrais aller faire une tranche à chacun d'entre eux et voir comment ils aiment ca.”
“Are you angry with me?”
Onyx lifted his head, his eyes unfocused for a second before he went back to cleaning my wounds. “None of them are deep.”
“Bella, I’m sorry.”
Onyx groaned. “For what? You didn’t do anything.”
“But you’re upset.”
My husband applied pressure to my wound, sending shock waves of sharp pain down to my toes. I gritted my teeth through it. The aches were slipping into pleasure the longer he did it. I was a goner. It didn't matter what Onyx wanted to do to me, I’d enjoy it as long as it was him.
“That isn’t your fault.” He grumbled under his breath, something in French. I couldn’t quite catch it. “And I shouldn’t be taking my anger out on you.”
“You can do whatever you want to me.”
Onyx visibly shivered. “Lucero, please.”
“Anything, Onyx, as long as it's you.”
His slender fingers covered my mouth. “Okay, stop talking, we're playing the quiet game now. I talk, you stay silent, all right?”
I opened my mouth to agree, only for Onyx to glare at me. I nodded instead, being the obedient husband I was.
Silence descended as my husband focused on my wound. I thought he said he’d talk. I would rather listen to him than the unbearable silence. Seconds ticked by, and the only thing that made it even remotely enjoyable, was the fact that Onyx was touching me.
I love you.
The words played on a loop as I was left standing there, watching his delicate fingers move with a skill I lacked. His soft platinum hair fell forward, brushing over his neat eyebrows. His pouty lips turned down in a frown as he concentrated.
Onyx’s voice only added to the spell he had me under as he opened his mouth.
“I should be the one saying sorry. Work got to me today, and I was reminded why I do what I do.” He took in a measured breath before applying a cooling ointment to the wound.
“And some other stuff that I have to handle came up. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.
” He finally looked up at me, and those big beautiful gray eyes captured my heart all over again.
My chest throbbed as I stood there, unable to speak.
Onyx sighed. “One thing.” He held up a finger as if warning me. “Go ahead, say it.”
“I love you.” I snatched him up and kissed him before he could take it back. “We’re married. Your problems are mine.” I bit down on his lip, earning a moan of surprise.
“No, they are mine. I will handle my own shit.”
I met his gaze, wanting to force him to realize that wasn’t the case anymore. Instead, I nodded, and relished having him in my arms. “When you’re ready, know that I will do anything for you.”