Chapter 13
THIRTEEN
VIC
Seeing her with him confirmed every suspicion I had. Every fear. My worst nightmare came true. Dani is—was—my everything, except now she is with someone else. Watching her in his arms was the worst thing I’ve had to experience, and that says a lot, considering the hell I already lived through.
I know I should talk to her. I should let her explain.
I should have a conversation with her. But my anger is too much.
I’m afraid that I will say something that I cannot take back.
If I take her call, then the hope that I have can’t linger on.
The call will be final, and I am not ready to admit that.
So I won’t. Not until I am strong enough to listen to everything she has to say, even if it isn’t something that will tear me apart.
I left that night, and ever since, I’ve been a wreck.
My grades are slipping. I’m losing focus.
But I can’t afford to fall apart and blow this chance I’ve been given to make something of myself.
So I shut it all off. The pain. The memories.
The love I have for her. Any side of me that feels, I disengage.
Existing on autopilot, I try my best to carry on.
Just waking up, going to school, studying, and then repeating it all over again.
I plop onto the bed, just when my dorm mate Simon strolls in, looking like he’s seen better days. He mirrors my position, collapsing onto his bed with a groan. “Damn, that exam was brutal,” he moans, rubbing a hand down his face like he’s trying to erase the trauma of taking that test.
“Yeah,” I grunt. “It kicked my ass.”
He snorts. “Sure, it did. That’s why you finished first, and walked out while everyone was left in the room sweating bullets.”
I glance over at him, smirking. “Really?”
“Bro,” he says, sitting up and pointing his finger at me, “you ace every test. Don’t act like you don’t know that. The least you could do is sit there a little longer so the rest of us mere mortals don’t feel so fucking inferior.” He pounds his chest dramatically with his fist.
My smile stretches a little wider, almost sinisterly. “Nah,” I say, leaning back on my elbows. “I think I’ll just do what I do best.”
He rolls his eyes, grinning. “Being a pain in my ass?”
“Exactly.” I don’t hesitate to reply.
Simon plops one hand up against his head. “You know what you need?”
“Is this where I am supposed to ask what that is?” I groan, throwing a pillow over my face.
A moment later, I hear Simon’s footsteps approach.
He rips the pillow away and tosses it against the wall.
“You need to come out with us. There’s a party tonight.
” That’s the last thing I want to do, but instead of saying that, I just lie there silent, deciding if maybe I should go.
Perhaps a part of me wants the distraction.
Maybe I’m just tired of staring at the ceiling, feeling sorry for myself.
Simon must sense the crack in my resistance, because he jumps on it. “You know," he says, trying to play it cool, “Chloe has a thing for you.” He hesitates briefly. “I hear she wants you bad.”
Chloe is the last thing I want. One night outside the library, I saw her climb out of her boyfriend’s car.
Her face was pale, and his voice was a vicious snarl as he spat expletives, exiting his car and following her.
When she tried to walk away, he lunged after her, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her.
The fight spilled into the night, drawing a few onlookers who were curious about the cause of the commotion.
I stepped in, and only then did he back off, cowering under the presence of someone bigger than him, and the piercing, judgmental stares of the surrounding students.
He retreated to his car, venomous words thrown over his shoulder, before getting into his vehicle and peeling out.
I walked Chloe back to her dorm, though I never wanted to.
I also made sure her ex-boyfriend would never carry out his threats.
From that moment, I’ve been on her radar.
Still, Chloe’s interest means nothing. My thoughts, my body, my blood coursing through me, will only belong to one person.
She is the only one who truly owns me, even in her absence.
The only one who can make me hard with just one glance and ignite every nerve in my body is Dani. But I don’t say that aloud.
“You’re not with your girl anymore, right?” Simon presses.
I shrug, because who the hell knows anymore? We never had the actual breakup conversation, but after what I saw and her behavior, what else can I assume? I should never have confided in Simon about what I saw when I left for Texas to surprise her.
Simon takes my silence as acceptance. “Okay then. Get ready. We’re going out.
” I groan, but push myself to my feet, accepting my fate for the night.
He grins, victory at my acquiescence. “Alright,” he smiles, rubbing his hands together like he’s been waiting for this moment.
Then he crouches under his bed and pulls out a bottle, extending it outward for me to take.
I glance at it. “Whiskey?” It’s harsh, like it could really kick my ass, and I welcome it. Taking it from his grip, I pull the top off and cock an eyebrow at Simon. Its pungent smoky scent hits me first, curling under my nose, and I pull away instinctively. His smile spreads wider.
“Take a drink and let’s get ready.” He grabs a towel from the closet and heads toward the door.
I take a swig. The liquid burns a warm trail down to the pit of my stomach, where it settles.
The heat replaces the cold feeling that I’ve had since the day I left her behind.
I savor the taste, smacking my lips before eyeing the bottle with a little more interest than before.
Is this why people drink? To fill the hollow ache?
I replace the knob and set it carefully on the desk.
When I look back up, Simon is watching me with understanding. He knocks his knuckles against the doorframe. “We’re going to have a good time tonight,” he says, with a pleased look on his face like it’s a promise.
I avoided people like him when I was growing up.
I had too much baggage. I was afraid they would see where I came from and how bad my home life really was.
However, no one here is aware of it. I can be anyone.
And right now? Who I want to be is someone numb and detached from any emotion.
I pick up the bottle and take another swig.
Then I grab my own towel and follow Simon to the showers.
Tonight, for the first time since I arrived at the school, I’m going out. And maybe it’s long overdue.
We arrive at the party. Music thumps around us as bodies sway to the rhythmic beats streaming from the speakers haphazardly set up along the townhome.
It may be fall, but you’d never know from the scantily dressed women in this place and the number of people here acting as a human furnace.
Condensation forms along the windows, and I see a few already pushed slightly open, letting the cool autumn night air provide some needed ventilation through the house.
“Vic. Simon.” Someone calls out our name, and we see Hudson, another one from our group of friends, beckoning us over with the wave of his hand.
We move, single file, through the gyrating bodies in the middle of the living room to the back of the townhouse, where the small kitchen island is set up with a mixture of alcohol bottles and red solo cups.
“Hey!” He shouts over the music. “What do you guys want to drink?” I shrug, not really caring what it is.
Truth be told, I’ve already had enough before we even arrived, and I know I shouldn’t have any more.
But tonight, I throw caution to the wind and set myself on a path of self-destruction.
“I’ll take whatever,” Simon says, and then looks over at me.
“Him, too.” He thumbs over at me. Shrugging, I let Hudson know to make one up, and I take a minute to look around.
A woman is staring at me, sizing me up. She’s pretty with a cute button nose, long blonde hair, and big, full tits.
She sees me returning her stare, which causes her to perk up.
She leans over to tell her friends something, and they both turn my way, looking at me and smiling.
She waves, but I get distracted by a hand extended my way.
“Here you go.” Hudson hands me a drink, and I bring it to my lips, taking a long sip. It’s strong, and I second-guess my thoughts about coming to this party. Simon hits my arm, and my drink sloshes over my shirt.
“Oh, shit,” Simon says as he nudges his head to the side of Hudson.
“Bro, those girls are coming over here, and Chloe’s with them.
” I turn to see the women walking this way, confidence exuding in their movements, but as Chloe walks up to me, smiling, it’s all wrong.
Her lips are thin, unlike Dani’s full lips.
Her hair is blonde and straight instead of the wavy, dark chocolate curls that ran to Dani’s mid-back.
The woman moves closer and starts talking to me, but I can’t make out a word she’s saying.
She puts her hand on my arm, and I feel hot all over.
Just the thought of Dani left me hard and aching.
All the alcohol did was allow me to let my guard down and expose how much I still want her.
Chloe’s friend pushes her from behind, and she rocks into me, her hand on my chest and her body flush against mine.
She gasps, and I know then that she feels it.
My cock, that was hard at the thought of Dani, is pressing into this petite girl’s frame, and I see her eyes widen in recognition.
Little does she know that it isn’t for her. It never will be.
I push her back because she isn’t Dani, and because I feel like I might throw up.
Suddenly, the music is too loud, the people are too close, and this girl is just all wrong.
I refused to think about Dani, pushing her to the back of my mind, where she is tucked neatly into a little box with hearts and bows.
Now the thoughts of her flood my mind, and especially those that I never want to think of.
Of her hugging Brandon and how he kissed my girl’s head.
I push through the crowd in search of a bathroom, looking back to see my friends engaged in a heated debate, no doubt about some New England sports team.
I run up the stairs in search of a bathroom.
I need to wash my face and maybe get rid of the contents of my stomach at the moment.
Hoping this feeling will subside, I see a few people in line for the bathroom in the hallway, but just then someone closes the door from one of the rooms. He must see how bad I look because he hits me on the shoulder.
He leans in. “There’s a bathroom in there if you need it, bro,” he says, then walks off.
I don’t waste a second in that other line as I enter the darkened bedroom.
I tug off my jacket and place my phone on top of it as I head for the dim light in the corner of the room.