Chapter 12
TWELVE
DANI
Itook the day off to help Brandon with the last-minute touch-ups.
It’s the final day I'll ever spend in this house, and that thought alone has me down. You’d think that I grew up here, but in a way, I did.
I found something more real here than in all of my existence.
But tonight, I will load up the last of our things, severing my only tangible connection to Vic and the way we fit so perfectly together.
Tomorrow morning, I’ll drive my mom and me to a new city, a new apartment, and a new life, leaving behind a place that I will always call my home because this is where I gave my heart and soul to a boy who will forever own me.
I hold the cold, metallic keys in my hand.
They feel so heavy as I give them over to Brandon.
“Here.” I extend the keys to him. He watches me, and I know he sees my throat bob as I swallow down the lump quickly forming there.
“I guess there is no need for these anymore, right?” I know it is a rhetorical question, but still, some part of me wants to hold on to them, and in doing so, keep the memory of us alive a little longer here in this place where it all began.
Because right now that’s all I have left.
And I know that I haven’t done a great job of showing Vic how much he means to me.
That he is still mine. But I have had so much on my plate lately, and he can’t understand because I never let him in.
And I’m just so damn tired of it all. There’s no real reason to hold on because the house is just a shell of wood and old ghosts.
There is no use for the keys, since we just have to lock up and go, so I shake them for him to take.
But Brandon doesn't take the keys. He just eyes the keys in my outstretched arm warily.
I watch as he places his bag on the ground—the same bag that holds all his tools.
I wish he could take those tools and fix my broken heart that continues to shatter every day that I’m away from Vic.
It’s so funny to think that he was so jealous of Brandon when he first came over to sell Vic’s house.
Now, here we are doing the same thing, except it’s me now.
Brandon stayed true to his word and helped me fix up the place.
He spent countless hours here with me, not just helping me fix things that would increase the value of my home, but also listening to me vent about my current situation.
I cry, he listens and offers supporting words, but not once did he ever cross the line and use my vulnerability to his advantage.
I couldn’t be more grateful for his friendship.
As he moves forward, I stiffen because maybe I got it wrong, but then he surprises me.
He reaches around me and pulls me into a hug.
And I didn’t realize how much I needed that.
I soften and hug him back, clutching on to the key still in my hand like a lifeline.
“I’ll make sure everything else is cleaned up,” Brandon says with a soft sigh.
“And—” He pauses like he wants to say something else, but instead changes his mind.
“I wish you the best, Dani.” I cling to him harder, fighting the rising pressure burning behind my eyes.
But I refuse to let the tears threatening to fall spill.
He presses a gentle kiss to the top of my head.
It’s tender and comforting in a way that makes me feel worse as his words fall softly, almost whispering, “I still think you should tell him the truth.”
I break away from his embrace, placing the key into his hand that holds my past as I embark on an unknown future. I look him in the eye, already shaking my head. “No.” He tries to speak, but I hold out my hand to stop whatever he was going to say. “I just can’t,” I say feebly, resigned.
He sighs. And I hate the way that makes me feel like I am letting him down.
Brandon has been nothing but kind, patient, and generous, and as much as I am grateful for all of that, I still can’t take his advice.
Maybe that makes me a coward. As I start to turn away, I see a car pass by, and for a brief moment, I think it is Vic.
My breath catches in my throat. But that’s impossible.
It can’t be because he’s a couple of thousand miles away, fulfilling his dreams in a place we both promised to go to together.
I huff out a laugh that sounds more amused than anything.
Brandon eyes me warily, brow furrowed, and probably wondering if I’m finally going to lose it, and he may be right. “What is it?” His voice is cautious as he probes further.
“Nothing.” I shake my head. “I think I’m seeing things now.” He looks around, then glances down the street just as the red taillights of a car turn at the stop sign further down the long street before disappearing out of view. When he turns back to me, I exhale slowly, ready to explain.
“Great,” I mutter, forcing out a half-hearted smile as I motion to the empty street and at the car that is now long gone from view.
“Now I am hallucinating.” I rub my eyes hard, hoping the pressure might help clear my vision, but when I blink, it still looks the same.
“I thought I saw Vic,” I admit, my voice growing quieter, “driving down our street,” I continue, until it becomes a whisper, or more of a wish on my lips.
I gesture again, although the car is long gone. “So much for moving on, huh?”
Brandon chuckles. “Yeah, but I know that couldn’t be him. I mean, you saw how he looked at me last time. And that was just from looking at you.”
I laugh, too. “Yep, you're right.” I decide, letting the truth settle. “He would have already been out of the car, ripping you away from me.” We both laugh, and when it becomes awkward, dissolving into silence, Brandon spares me one last glance before turning away.
He lifts his hand in a small wave. “Take care of yourself, Dani.” With that, he doesn’t look back. He just gets in his car and drives away. I stand there long after staring over at Vic’s old house, feeling more alone than ever.
As I step into the empty house, the silence swallows me whole.
I grab my purse and dig out my phone, desperate to hear Vic’s voice.
I need something to ground me, something familiar, and that is home, even though my heart is thousands of miles away.
I see a few missed calls from Vic. My heart lurches.
When did he call? I hit his name, and the call connects.
It goes straight to voicemail after two rings.
My brows knit. “That’s weird,” I say to no one.
Thinking it must be a mistake, I try again.
This time, it skips the ring entirely and goes straight to voicemail as if he turned off his phone.
A chill crawls up my spine, and the air feels heavier around me.
Why would he decline my call? My knees buckle at the thought, the ground crumbling around me as my vision goes hazy.
It feels like something is piercing my heart, and I don’t know what heartbreak is, but I bet it feels something like this.
It's as if a piece of that very organ is being torn apart. But that can’t be right because he’ll always be mine.
And for the first time today, I feel afraid.
Not just of losing him, but of the possibility that I already have.
So I do the only thing I can, I pick myself up and find the will to move forward. To take care of my mom. To finish school. And one day, when the time is right, I’ll find Vic again. When I do, I’m never letting go.
The drive into the city was uneventful. Once I get my mom settled in the lower-level apartment, I throw myself headfirst into all the tasks that need to be completed to make her life as comfortable as possible.
I started my new job as a patient care technician in the emergency department.
The flexible hours allow me to keep up with school, and for the first time in a long time, I find myself looking forward to something.
I’m just finishing up the laundry when I glance over at my mom to see her watching me. There’s something unreadable in her expression, causing me to drop everything and go over to her.
“Mom, is everything okay?” I place my hand on her forehead, feeling the coolness of her skin, and my worry dissipates slightly, but I need verification. “Are you feeling okay, Mom?” I ask.
Her face softens. “Daniella, please sit down for a minute, sweetheart.” Her frail hand reaches for mine, and I take it, lowering myself on the couch beside her.
She looks at me with those tired eyes, worn from years of carrying pain that she never let me see.
I squeeze her hand, silently reaffirming a promise—to make a difference in her life by being here for her and allowing her to rest. Tomorrow is her first appointment with the cancer center, and I cling to the hope that this marks the start of something better.
I haven’t had much time to think about Vic, or maybe I'm just intentionally avoiding it. And I am hopeful that things can be better. But deep down, I know that something is wrong. He won’t return my calls, and my text messages go unanswered.
How does someone go from being your everything to nothing overnight?
I have the day off tomorrow, and I will try again.
Brandon’s words keep playing on a constant loop in my head, because I need to tell him the truth. I just hope it’s not too late.