Chapter 45
S he’d locked me out and closed the blind. Music blared through the door. I stood on her balcony not moving, hoping she’d open the door again. Her heaving sobs pierced my heart. I considered breaking my way in but didn’t want to frighten her more. After what may have been an hour, other heartbeats entered her apartment. Her friends spoke softly, comforting her.
“I’m sorry Quinn, I was really hoping you’d find happiness with him,” her friend Mia said.
“Will you tell us what happened?” Lilith asked.
Her hurt and guilt battered against me like waves. Her anguish weighed on my own heart, and I could do nothing to ease her suffering.
“I….” she paused. “I can’t talk about it.”
Her words from the beach echoed in my mind. ‘ I’m not like you. ’ Like me. A feral. I wasn’t a good man by human standards. It had never bothered me until that moment. Because of her.
“Did he hurt you?” Lilith asked. “You have to tell me if he hurt you.”
“No, he didn’t,” her voice tore through me.
I let myself drop from her balcony. I’d heard enough. A part of her still rested in my heart, and I wandered the streets, her presence still wrapped around me. I had enjoyed her companionship while she was blood bonded with me, and I had forgotten that the human consciousness couldn’t take the weight of guilt. I had been caught up in my own desire to have a hunting partner. An end to my solitude.
Footsteps approached, and I caught Carlos’s scent.
“She’ll return to your arms soon enough,” he said.
“Perhaps this is what I deserve after what I did,” I replied.
My chest hurt, as if Quinn had shoved a knife into my heart, and I no longer wanted to feel this pain.
“You’d both be happier right now if you’d just turned her,” Carlos grumbled.
“I couldn’t do that to her,” I muttered.
“You’ve let her humanity affect you,” he said. “I thought you wanted her.”
“I do.” I stopped, turning to him. “I want her to want this, to want me as I am. But how can she? How could a human filled with such light ever love a feral?”
His eyes softened. “She does. I could see it clear as day. Don’t give up on her yet. You gained her trust once, you can do it again.”
“All she sees is that I’ve killed people.” I glared at him.
He laughed. “Why does that bother you now?”
“It doesn’t. But it bothers her.” I was getting irritated by his presence. I wanted to be free of him, to hunt. I quickened my step.
“What will you do then?” He kept pace with me. “Your feral nature is pushing through. Go home, Matteo. Before you do something you’re going to regret.”
He was right about my feral nature rising up, and I had no desire to fight it. I wanted to give in, feed until I couldn’t see straight. So I didn’t have to feel whatever this was. As I embraced that part of myself, the noise of remorse and pain faded away. I would bury myself in the bliss of the red haze.
The city beckoned. Hunger soared in me. “I’ll do what I do best,” I said, flashing my fangs at Carlos. “Feed.”
Something dangerous glinted in his eye. “Don’t do anything stupid. You know there are hunters in this town. Too many humans have died already, and it’s drawn their attention. I’m not letting you get yourself killed. By them or Gabriela.”
I laughed, unconcerned by his worries. “Hunters can barely take on a new vampire. I’m six hundred years old. What can they do against me? And Gabriela has not caged me yet. All she does is for show.”
I focused on the humans around me, trying to find one worthy of the hunt. I picked up a sweet scent and followed it.
Carlos grabbed my arm. “Don’t do this, I’m begging you,” he urged.
I growled, pulling my arm from his grip. “Either join me or fuck off.”
His gaze hardened. “If you break the accords, the hunters will have the right to kill you. Remember what they did to Lucrezia.”
“To hell with the accords, and the hunters.” I left him, tracking my prey. He let me go, but not before his sorrow flooded through our bond. And his fear. I shut myself off from him, and buried the last of my resistance to my true nature.
As I hunted, the sight of a red-haired woman filled my head. Her baby fangs, then the sight of my blood dripping from her chin. I forced it all down, focusing on the hunt. I’d allowed her to make me want to be a man worthy of her, momentarily forgetting about the vampire that I was.
I caught up to my prey, a young woman in her mid-twenties. She had black hair and brown eyes. I could have pulled her under my sway, instead choosing to show her what I was. I wanted fear. I wanted to give chase, to make her scream. I reached for her arm, pulling her to me.
She saw my fangs and my eyes, her heart raced, and the fear spiked, but not enough. I needed more fear, I needed her to scream before I fed on her.
“I’m going to give you a fighting chance,” I told her. “I’ll give you a head start before I chase you.” I leaned in, whispering in her ear. “This is a race for your life. You must stay outside, though. No running into restaurants or bars.”
She whimpered, shaking her head.
“Run,” I whispered with a smile.
She turned and ran. I waited, letting my hunger build as the aroma of fear sang to me, along with her heartbeat and the scent of her blood .
“Time’s up,” I murmured and gave in to the bloodlust. I stalked her through the streets, taking my time. The longer the chase, the more delicious her fear-spiced blood would be.
She started to gain hope that she had lost me once she reached Alexandra Gardens. I slammed into her, taking us both to the ground. “I’m sorry,” I whispered in her ear. “Your fear…It’s exhilarating…” I lowered my head, breathing her in. “It’s delicious. Scream for me.”
She did. And as I bit into her throat, I released no venom. It hurt her, screams of fear turning to pain.
I picked up a heartbeat approaching. Someone was interrupting my meal. I lifted my head with a hiss, the warmth of blood on my chin.
“Hey, what’s going on? What are you doing to that poor woman?” A human stood over me, anger in his voice.
This was going to be a fun night.
“W-what are you?” he asked.
I rose from the ground. “What does it look like?” I stalked towards the human, and he took steps back. The scent of fear pulled at me, and I gave in to bloodlust completely.
I was well overfed and intoxicated on the scent of fear and blood I’d taken when I found my way to my art gallery. My assistant, still working, was startled at my arrival.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought I was alone,” she said behind me as I stared at a painting of a red-haired singer on a stage.
I turned, knowing my appearance to be horrifying to humans, revelling in the quickening of her heartbeat. The lower half of my face was covered in blood, my eyes bright red, with sharp fangs on display. She took a step away from me, her chin quivering. That scent of fear was tantalising .
“Aren’t you going to scream?” I asked her. “Your worst nightmare has been right before your eyes this whole time.”
She did scream for me, and she ran, the sound music to my senses. I moved through the gallery, nothing but a shadow as she found me in front of her every time she ran from me.
“Please don’t kill me,” she begged, tears streaming down her eyes. She was refusing to look directly at my face.
I grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at me, to see the creature that stood before her. “Beg for your life.” I laughed. “Scream for me.”
She surprised me by falling to her knees.
“Please. Let me go.” Raw fear sounded in her trembling voice. “Don’t hurt me.”
“Hurt you?” I laughed. “I’m going to kill you.”
“Please,” she begged, and whispered the word over and over again.
“Did you know, vampires can smell fear? We’re drawn to it.” I crouched down in front of her, my face inches from hers. “It is irresistible and makes drinking your blood a truly pleasurable encounter. It adds a kick to it that I find intoxicating.” Her words became sobs. I moved to whisper in her ear. “There can be pleasure, or pain in a vampire’s kiss. What do you want? Pleasure will spare you from experiencing how slow and painful your death can be.”
Her eyes closed.
“Open your eyes.” I pushed on her will, bringing her into mine. “I want you to see everything.”
Her eyes met mine. She couldn’t look away.
“Answer my question. Will you have pleasure, or pain? If you choose pleasure, you’ll enjoy your own death as much as I’ll enjoy your blood. ”
“Pleasure,” she whispered.
I sunk my fangs into her throat, and let her blood spill into my mouth, giving her what she wanted. I guided her to the floor, aroused by her moan. She clutched at me, pressing hard into my erection. I withdrew my fangs. “When I said you could have pleasure, I didn’t mean that , my poor, weeping assistant.”
I left her on the floor, under the effects of my venom, writhing in pleasure. I’d return to her soon enough. I was blood drunk, immersed in the red haze, and all I knew was bliss.
I found myself once again staring at the red-haired singer on a stage. Green eyes flashed in my mind, and a hesitant smile as she looked up at me.
“Matteo.” Her voice was real enough to be there, whispered in a moment of desire.
A long and enraged roar burst from me. I moved away, studying my other paintings. Painted by a creature longing for his equal, for an end to his isolation as he saw an eternity alone, there was a separation between me and him.
“Fool,” I muttered.
This gallery had been a dream from long ago, and I wanted to destroy it. To forget all that had occurred, and to leave this city. There were plenty of cities, anywhere in the world, that I could make into my hunting ground. This one suffocated me, and I had to make sure there would be no reason to return. I would somehow break free of the Queen’s hold and find a city with no clan. In my office I found a lighter and moved around the gallery, setting fire to anything that would burn. Canvases, curtains, frames, and paints.
I watched the paintings burn, everything going up in smoke. The fire spread faster than I anticipated, cutting off my exit from the front. Smoke filled the air, pungent and thick. Heat surrounded me, and I attempted to get through the flames. Pain engulfed me until finally I escaped through my office, only to find myself face to face with three vampires: Gabriela, Lorenzo, and Carlos.
“You let people see you,” Gabriela said. “You made them aware of us. Lorenzo and Carlos have been cleaning up your mess all night.”
“I’m sorry, Matteo,” Carlos added. “I cannot help you this time.” He appeared truly regretful and reached for me through our blood bond. I forced him out, unwilling to have him bring me to my knees.
“Get out of my way,” I growled.
“We can’t do that. You’ve risked too much tonight. This will bring the hunters down on all of us,” Carlos said
I laughed. “What, you’re going to cage me?”
Lorenzo rushed at me, and I stopped him with a punch to the chest. He went down hard.
A moan came from inside the gallery, followed by a cough. Gabriela and Carlos turned to the sound.
“What will it be?” I chuckled. “Take me down, or save the human from the flames?”
“Go,” Gabriela ordered Carlos. “Get her out.”
Carlos stepped into the burning building, only to return moments later carrying my assistant. One side of his face was burned, but the burn soon faded.
“You destroyed your own gallery.” He shook his head in disbelief. “Matteo, you had a chance that you wouldn’t lose her. You’ve razed your own life to ashes.”
Gabriela turned her eyes to me, and I knew what was coming. The rest of the clan stepped from the shadows.
“Kneel,” she commanded.
I fell to my knees.