Chapter 6 #2
I should resist. This isn’t the plan. I’m supposed to oversee every little, tiny detail so that nothing can possibly go wrong and let Bee down. I’m supposed to be keeping Julian Valentine at arm’s length.
Yet…
“Um, okay,” I concede in a small voice.
I find my feet are moving and that I’m not resisting as he steers me to the side of the room. Most people are still sipping the Champaigne or beer they got immediately after the ceremony or are eager to pour wine from the tables, so that leaves us basically alone at the bar for now.
“I have to make sure the kids all have their party packs,” I protest weakly, even though I know I laid them out at their places the night before.
So that none of them get bored during the adult conversations or speeches, they each have some crayons and a small coloring book, a scavenger hunt, and a disposable camera.
The photos will probably be terrible, but they might surprise us with a few gems. And I’ve noticed if you give a kid a job, they often feel special and important and therefore are less likely to cry or tantrum.
The same can be said for a lot of adults, I suppose.
“We can check in a bit,” Julian promises me. Or more, he humors me. “Everyone’s still finding their seats. They can cope with a few unscheduled minutes and entertain themselves. Now, what are you having?”
I open and close my mouth, anxiety tightening around my chest. If I take my eye off the ball, something might go wrong and it could ruin Beatrice’s day, then I’d never forgive myself. But…maybe Julian’s right. The room probably won’t explode in the next couple of minutes.
And…if I’m being completely honest…there’s a small, pathetic part of my heart that’s absolutely ecstatic to have somebody insisting on making a little fuss over me. Sure, a free drink isn’t exactly groundbreaking. But it’s way more attention and affection than I’m used to letting myself get.
It’s terrifying. Because I can easily see how it could be addictive.
“Um,” I say shyly, my skin heating up and my heart racing as he waits for my answer. Oh, what the hell? One lousy drink isn’t going to hurt anyone. “A vodka and pink lemonade, if they have it.”
It turns out they do have pink lemonade.
I probably made sure of that months ago when I was confirming all the catering.
But I still feel relieved as the server quickly mixes my drink and pops the cap off a beer for Julian.
A little liquid courage might not be the worst idea for my nerves right now.
“Can I make an observation?” Julian asks. He rests an elbow against the countertop, and I mimic him so we’re facing one another. Someone else is ordering down the other end of the bar, giving us a moment of relative privacy.
I don’t like the sound of this. An observation? I’m aware that I like to put on a big show most of the time so people don’t ever really see me. That way they can’t reject me. Not the true me, anyway.
But something about Julian’s calm expression makes me want to trust him.
“Go ahead,” I say cheerfully. “However, if you’re going to insult the color scheme, I reserve the right to kick you out.”
He laughs, which soothes me somewhat. “Not about the wedding,” he tells me. “Although I have to admit, even though it wouldn’t personally be my first choice, the color scheme is absolutely stunning. You’ve done an outstanding job for your sister, Romeo.”
Getting the double whammy of his praise as well as hearing my name on his lips does funny things to my insides. I try my best not to squirm. I’m also tempted to brush off his compliment, but despite being only a stranger I met today, his words mean too much to me to do that.
“Thank you,” I say softly.
For a moment, Julian just lets his gaze fall over the room as it fills.
He takes a sip of his beer, then nods to himself and turns back to me.
“Stop me if I’m completely out of line,” he murmurs.
My heart is fluttering in my chest, and I can’t tell if I’m nervous or excited for what he’s about to say next.
“I will,” I assure him.
He gives me a knowing grin. “Okay. I think you’re worrying about controlling every detail right now because you feel it’s your fault your parents aren’t here, so you have to make sure everything else is outstanding for your sister and her new husband as penance.”
He arches an eyebrow at me as my throat closes up and panic constricts my chest. But before I can splutter out a protest about how wrong he definitely is, he continues speaking.
“It’s not your fault, though. It’s theirs.
Everybody here knows that, especially Beatrice and Isaac.
You don’t have to kill yourself with guilt or overcompensate with planning to justify your presence here instead of them.
You’ve done amazing work, Romeo. It’s obvious that you love your sister very much, and that she cherishes you.
So…it’s okay for you to relax and have a little fun now.
” He shrugs and has another sip of beer.
“That’s just my two cents, however, as someone who’s seen a lot of devastation in his career.
Life is short and precious. But…it’s not as if I’ve been excelling at human interactions lately.
So feel free to take what I say with a pinch of salt. ”
He winks and I find a startled laugh escaping my throat.
I want to yell at him that he’s got it completely wrong. But the truth is, he’s a thousand percent right. I feel splayed open, naked and bleeding, totally at his mercy.
So why does he also make me feel like I can breathe for the first time in hours—maybe days?
I do just that, inhaling deeply and staring at my pink drink for something to occupy myself with while I think fast. This is dangerous.
It’s one thing to flirt and have a little harmless fun when I know it can’t lead to anything else.
But Julian Valentine is feeling alarmingly close to me right now. Both figuratively and literally.
Giving myself another moment, I lick my lips and take a sip from my tumbler. “It doesn’t seem like I could ever do enough to repay her,” I whisper, my eyes hot. “To thank her for what she’s done for me. For what she’s lost.”
“Romeo,” Julian says, drawing my attention back to him. Except he juts his chin, suggesting I look behind me.
Beatrice is looking our way in concern. When we lock eyes, her face splits into a brilliant smile, then she gestures happily for us to come join her at the top table.
“I could be wrong,” Julian says softly behind me. “But she looks like she just found what she was looking for. I don’t think she’s lost anything that truly mattered in the end.”
My chin wobbles and my throat thickens. I’m trying so hard not to let my tears fall that my vision is swimming.
How can our parents not matter?
But I think Julian’s right. The only thing Bee seems to be caring about right now is getting me fed. Me being here over our mom and dad doesn’t appear to be crushing her happiness.
“I wish it didn’t have to be this way,” I manage to utter, turning back to face Julian. “But…thank you. I promise I’ve heard what you’ve said.”
He smiles warmly and opens his arms slightly. “Can I give you a hug?”
Oh. Oh, no. DANGER! DANGER!
But apparently, whatever part of my brain is setting off the alarm isn’t loud enough.
I fall into his embrace embarrassingly quickly.
I’m grateful I only let out a sniffle against his jacket rather than a full-blown sob.
I cling to him, nonetheless, allowing myself the comfort you can only really get from a proper, tight cuddle.
“It’s okay,” he assures me as I tremble.
It’s really not, though.
Because having Julian Valentine’s big, strong arms around me is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.
In an instant, it’s like I’ve come home to a place I never knew existed.
For probably too long than is socially acceptable, I cling to him as if he’s a life ring and I didn’t even realize I’ve been drowning all this time.
What little chill I had about him before has vanished. This is officially now a zero-chill zone. The barriers I tried to erect have crumbled.
I’m no longer wondering how I’m going to make it through the day in such close proximity to him. I’m convinced one day isn’t going to be nearly enough time with him. So what I can get from him, I’m going to take.
Heartbreak be damned.