Chapter 7
Julian
I meant it when I told Romeo he needed to stop trying to micro-manage everyone else’s good time like that might somehow stop him from getting hurt.
It was painfully obvious to see, even for someone who hasn’t been seeing a therapist for as many years as I have.
He was punishing himself for imagined sins when he should have been basking in the triumph of this wedding he’s planned. He should be having a little fun.
Yet somehow my brain didn’t quite connect A to B and realize that I was therefore committing to helping Romeo have that fun.
In my defense, it’s difficult to concentrate on anything else when he’s so gorgeous and enigmatic.
I can tell he’s putting on an act with all his flamboyancy.
But having glimpsed behind the curtain and seen the real vulnerability that lies beyond, it’s obvious that he plays a part to protect himself from some really painful scars.
If he was simply shallow and attention seeking, I would have tired of his company almost immediately. Instead, I find myself charmed. Especially when I can’t help but wonder if he’s preening just for me, like a mating ritual out in the wild.
It did occur to me when we first met that he seemed more of a bird of paradise than a man. And now he’s shaking his tail feathers my way, it’s having the desired effect.
Except it shouldn’t be. All throughout dinner, I tried to make sure I was holding some sort of a line.
Beatrice might not be paying me, but it would feel like an atrocious breach of conduct to be invited to her wedding to stand in for her father, only to act like an animal and make a move on her younger brother.
The same brother I came here to look after.
But, dear lord, I do want to look after him.
I don’t just mean in a primal sense, although it’s very hard to ignore those impulses as I watch him twirling and gyrating on the dance floor right now.
When I offered to hug him at the bar it felt completely natural, and he fit perfectly in my arms. I only let him go because I caught Beatrice’s gaze and she signaled they were getting ready to start serving the food.
Otherwise, I might never have let him go.
It’s not only a physical attraction to him I feel, which at this point I can no longer ignore.
It’s deeper than that. I want to comfort him and protect him.
He should have someone lifting him up and celebrating him the way it’s obvious Isaac does for Beatrice.
Both Romeo and his sister are clearly caring, hard-working people with a zest for life.
How could anyone abandon someone like him with such an enormous heart?
Their parents are morons.
But the last thing I feel is fatherly as I watch Romeo from where I’m sitting at one of the tables.
He’s living it up with several of the aunties to an Usher song I recall partying to when I was his age.
The women are clearly having a hoot with their glasses of rosé wine as Romeo encourages them to shake their booties.
His smile is dazzling and the way he moves his body is mesmerizing.
I honestly can’t remember the last time I was this utterly captivated by a man, if I ever was. My heart aches with desire as I watch him, but it’s also mixed in with sadness.
A man that spectacular deserves to be loved. But I get the strong impression that in order to protect himself, he doesn’t allow that to happen very often.
“Phew!”
I jerk from my reverie to find Beatrice has dropped into the vacant chair next to me by the edge of the busy dance floor.
Guilt flashes through my chest and I hope she didn’t catch me making puppy-dog eyes at her brother.
At least she grins at me as she pulls off one of her shoes and begins massaging the ball of her foot.
“I think it might be time to change into the Crocs,” she tells me breathlessly. I must not hide my grimace well, because she laughs. “Don’t knock them until you try them, Captain! I wouldn’t get through a twelve-hour shift in any other shoes.”
I hum and give her a playful grin. “Luckily, the fire department has pretty strict regulations about footwear.”
She laughs again then groans as her thumb apparently finds a particularly tender spot.
No matter how much I disapprove of her replacement choice, I’m only teasing her.
She should be comfortable. In fact, I can see some of the other guests have already swapped their heels for pairs of complimentary flip-flops from a basket that I assume Romeo provided.
Because he really tried to anticipate everything.
There goes my heart again.
I can’t be thinking those thoughts right now, however. Not looking right at his sister. So I clear my throat and remember what I was going to say.
“Can I fetch your Crocs for you?” I offer.
She snorts and shakes her head. “I wouldn’t ask anyone else to touch them, not even Isaac. I can grab them in a second. I just wanted an excuse to sit with you for a minute.”
“Oh,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady. She probably wants to talk about the wedding, right?
“Thank you so much for today,” she continues, and I relax gratefully. “It means more to me than I could ever imagine. And I wasn’t expecting you to give a speech, let alone a tear-jerker!”
The truth is, I wasn’t expecting to give one either.
But there was a moment where the celebrant glanced at me when we were discussing the running order of who was speaking, and it just felt like the right thing to do.
I only cobbled together a few lines about how the bride and groom were clearly smitten with each other as well as how it was easy to feel the love throughout the room from everyone, which was all true.
I also commented on how beautiful the bridesmaids looked along with the mother-of-the-groom, which is just something everyone does in my experience, and mentioned how proud Isaac’s mom and dad obviously are of them both.
Then before I knew what I was doing, I was raising a glass for Romeo and the Herculean effort he put into organizing this special day.
It occurred to me after the whole room toasted him that I wanted to have a moment to recognize what his and Beatrice’s parents chose to do today, however subtly.
I wanted him to have a moment of celebration.
From the way he and I stared at each other while the guests all cried “To Romeo!”, he understood.
But I’m wondering if his sister did as well…a little too much. As I sit here with her, I’m questioning if she’s perfectly well aware of the tempest that’s been brewing between me and her brother all damn day.
By the way her gaze slides between me and him as he spins Isaac’s grandma carefully around, I don’t believe she’s missed a thing.
Shit.
“It’s okay.”
I blink and tear my eyes from Romeo back to Beatrice. “Hm?” I ask, not wanting to put my foot in it by asking outright what she means.
However, she gives me a kind smile and squeezes my knee.
“You and Ro. If there was something you wanted to explore there, that would be okay with me. More than okay, actually. I had a strong feeling about you from the moment Isaac showed me your profile on Rainbow Reach, Captain Valentine. I was looking for someone who could play a special role today not just for me, but hopefully for my brother, too. Probably more so for him. But it’s been blindingly obvious since the moment you arrived that you’re both struggling to keep your hands off each other. ”
I splutter in horror, turning it into a cough that I quench with a glass of water that was mercifully within reach. “I didn’t…I mean…”
She laughs and shakes my leg. “I just said I approved, didn’t I? Romeo is the best and I’m sick of nobody else seeing that. Well, not like this.” She gestures to me and smirks, making my cheeks heat up.
“Sorry,” I mumble, looking down at my hands. “I really tried to be subtle.”
Beatrice giggles. “Does my brother look like he appreciates subtlety to you?”
We both glance over to see he’s now in what looks like a twerk-off with an auntie while the crowd cheers on. I’m sure other people might find that uncouth. However, it’s so outrageously joyful to me, it makes my heart squeeze with affection.
“Seriously, though,” Beatrice continues. I look back to find her expression softer. “I don’t want either of you to hold back on my account. This might not be what I planned when I contacted you, but it would be a delightful bonus. Just…treat him kindly.”
Doubt creeps through me, and I remember one of the reasons I was supposed to be holding back in the first place. “That’s sweet of you, Beatrice,” I tell her honestly. “But my life isn’t exactly simple right now. I don’t know what he might be expecting or what I can offer.”
Her devilish grin returns. “I’m not suggesting you propose, Captain.
I’m merely here to mention that my brother happens to have a room booked here for a few days and he might want company for some of that time.
Whatever you do with that information is up to you.
” She taps my knee sweetly before letting it go.
“Kind doesn’t mean commitment. It just means don’t treat him like a dick. ”
With a wink, she collects up her discarded sparkly pumps and limps off, presumably to cushion her poor feet with the aforementioned Crocs.
Which leaves me looking back at the dance floor, where it’s as if Romeo has a spotlight on him. Like he’s shining just that bit brighter than everyone else.
At least to me, he is.
Beatrice’s words roll around in my head. I’ve never really been one for hook-ups and it’s been forever since I dated anyone. I’ve been so preoccupied with caring for my parents and managing the firehouse, I forgot how exciting it can be to feel that sudden spark of possibility with someone.
If Romeo is interested in me, and we have his sister’s very clear blessing…what is there really stopping me?
Fear. I know the answer is fear. That particular emotion has been a companion of mine throughout my professional life as well as my personal one. I’ve learned, though, that fear is something you work with, not against.
If I’m afraid of Romeo’s rejection, what’s really the worst that can happen?
He’s been flirting like crazy all day and his sister has assured me that I wouldn’t be causing offense or disrupting her day if I made a move.
So…if I ask if he wants some alone time and he says no or that he didn’t really mean all the suggestive glances…
that’ll be it. I’ll be disappointed, but I’ll understand.
No big catastrophe will happen. So long as I’m discreet, nobody needs to be embarrassed or get concerned about gossip travelling.
An ego might get bruised, but no one will get hurt.
What do I really have to lose?
Or perhaps I should be asking…what do I have to gain?
Before they passed, my mom and dad both made me promise that I would go on without them.
That I’d live a full and happy life with them watching over me.
Dad and I managed for a while once Mom was gone.
However, losing him as well broke something in me.
I felt like I could never truly be content again when their passing left such a huge hole in my heart.
As the months have passed, I slowly started hoping that work and my friends would be enough to pull me through to the other side of this chasm of grief I was facing.
But now Romeo has come crashing into my life, like Tarzan swinging on a rope from one side of that chasm to the other.
He’s also figuratively wearing a sequined jumpsuit and is carrying a boom box that’s blasting Lady Gaga to get my attention.
He’s not just in the spotlight. He is the spotlight. A beacon of hope in my darkness. Whenever he glances my way from the dance floor, I feel like my heart is beating properly in my chest again, as opposed to the flutter it’s been managing to keep me alive for the past several months.
Why would I let that—let him—slip through my fingers?
Like Beatrice said, I’m not asking for any kind of commitment.
I just know that if I don’t at least try to discover how Romeo Quincy feels against my skin, how his lips taste against mine, I’m going to regret it forever.
And what makes it feel even more perfect is I already suspected that Romeo is in need of some tender loving before his sister pretty much spelled it out for me.
He deserves to be treasured, if only for a night.
The idea of anyone else doing that sends a sudden wave of nausea through me.
It’s not as if I’ve noticed another guy eyeing him up or Romeo directing his flirtations elsewhere, either.
But it’s as if my inner caveman is raising his head, and he’s not listening to logic.
I know for a fact that if I want this mate who’s been flashing his tailfeathers at me all day, I damn well need to claim him.
Right now.