Chapter 11
Julian
It’s not until I feel something solid bash into the side of my leg do I realize how long I’ve probably been staring into space by the coffee machine.
With a jolt, I look down to see Lochlan’s Dalmatian, Rocky, wagging his tail up at me. He’s not exactly a puppy anymore, but he still has that same goofy energy he’s had since the first day Bell pulled him out of that burning warehouse.
I smile in spite of myself. “Hey, boy,” I say, offering him the backs of my knuckles to sniff and lick. “Did your dad send you looking for me?”
Rocky barks like the picture of innocence before running once in a circle then bolting around the kitchen counter.
I look up to see almost every member of the first watch in the common area, all staring at me for a split second. Then suddenly, the whole gang seems to remember that they were actually incredibly busy.
What a miracle.
Most of the team chose fiddling with their phones as their fake distraction.
But Lochlan genuinely starts fussing over Rocky when he returns to his side, Del is working on something in one of his sketchbooks, and Anton is stubbornly trying to rub off what looks to be a temporary tattoo of a cat wearing a tiara from his arm.
“Spit it out,” I tell them with a sigh as I pick up my coffee and move toward the sofas and dining table.
“Whatever do you mean, Captain?” Sawyer asks innocently over the top of the book he’s apparently reading. Upside down. To be fair, my first clue that he was bullshitting me would have been the book regardless of its position.
Yara doesn't even pause in her crocheting as she smiles brightly at me. “We’re just eagerly anticipating the alarm sounding on this suspiciously quiet day.”
Several people groan loudly.
“Now you’ve jinxed it,” Lili complains.
“I’m going to get into my turnouts just in case,” Teddy mutters, actually leaving the couch to do so.
Rico, my steadfast lieutenant, sighs on my behalf. “I guess we’re just curious how the wedding went, Captain. But we know it was a big deal, so if you don’t want to talk about it, we’re all fine with that. Right, guys?”
“Oh, yeah, no!” Sawyer cries, looking horrified. “You don’t have to talk about it if it was, like, emotionally grueling or whatever.”
His best friend narrows his eyes at him. “Or,” Anton says pointedly, “the captain doesn’t have to talk about it at all. Because he’s allowed a private life. You animals might have no boundaries, but other people do.”
“Pay the kids no mind, Cap,” my driver, Gene, says. He salutes me with his mug from where he’s truly become one with the armchair we all know is unofficially his. “You don’t have to talk about nothing you don’t feel like.”
I smile despite the mixed emotions I’ve got going on. Gene’s got a good heart and he’s loyal to a default. But he’s still one of those older guys who thinks that feelings are something to be guarded because letting too many out would be carnage, like loose animals at the zoo.
“There’s not really much to tell,” I say, going for nonchalant as I lean my hip against the side of the dining table and sip my coffee. “The day wasn’t about me. I was happy to fulfill a role and ease some of the pain and tension that otherwise would have been more obvious.”
“All right,” Lili says, wrinkling her nose. “But we’re not asking you to get into the heavy stuff. We’re just being nosey and want some gossip to brighten our day. What was her dress like?”
“Did they have an epic cake?” Lochlan asks, his tone making it clear which of the two he thinks is more important.
“What was their first dance song?” Yara chimes in dreamily.
“Oh!” Sawyer cries, flapping his hands. “And the bridesmaid dresses? Was she one of those bridezillas who made her friends look terrible so she’d outshine them? Or was she nice?”
“She was lovely,” I say with a laugh, and I’m surprised how quickly I want to defend Beatrice.
Okay, and maybe her brother by association.
“And her bridesmaids genuinely looked amazing. The entire wedding party looked stunning. There was no drama on the day.”
“Other than what her parents had already caused,” Anton points out with a frown. “Did any of her extended family come?”
“Well, her brother was obviously there,” I say with a shrug that hopefully hides the tidal wave of emotions that even vaguely mentioning Romeo causes.
“But none of her other family, no. I don’t know if she even had many relatives she would have wanted to invite.
It’s possible it was just her parents boycotting and not anyone else.
It didn’t seem right to ask. But either way, the groom’s family were out in force, and the couple had a lot of friends from work and school, so it was a great atmosphere. ”
Fondness warms me as I think back on it. Despite Mr. and Mrs. Quincy trying their hardest to ruin the day, they failed. It was nothing but joyful.
So, so joyful.
I’m helpless as a collage of memories bombard me of Romeo and every blissful moment we spent together. His sparkling, mischievous eyes. His laugh like a birdsong. His sweet lips that tasted like tantalizing possibility.
As expected, leaving him yesterday morning was difficult.
But we talked it through like adults and for the first time in forever, I feel like I have something different driving me toward the future.
For so long, I’ve been in damage control mode, just fixing whatever problem I had to deal with next. After Romeo, though…
Well now it seems as if I’ve gotten myself a new guiding light. When I woke this morning before work, the first thing I felt was hope.
How beautiful is that?
I owe Beatrice a message to say thank you.
I don’t want to interrupt her honeymoon, but if she hadn’t given me her blessing, I doubt I would have crossed the line with her brother out of fear of causing disrespect.
But if I’d walked out of that wedding without making a move, I would never have even known how much I’d regret it.
Whatever happens between us next, I’m just so relieved I didn’t let that stunning young man pass me by. Even if we only get that one night and the morning after together, it’ll have been worth it.
Although, with hope taking the wheel, perhaps it’s not too outrageous to think I could see him again. He’s the one holding out for me, after all. He promised he wanted to wait.
I guess the question is, how long am I going to take in making up my mind?
How will I know when it’ll be ‘safe’ to even think about dating?
As much as I can’t get him out of my brain, I don’t want to screw this up and jump in too fast. I need to give it some time and let all these feelings settle, like we discussed.
That way, I’ll be doing my best to protect us both.
It seems impossible right now, but I need to stick to the plan and hold off doing anything more for the time being.
“I bet it was an overwhelming day, though, right?” Yara says sympathetically, pulling me out of my increasingly dangerous thoughts. “Both happy and sad all at once. Did you find it hard?”
Without missing a beat, Del, my lead paramedic glances up at me through dark lashes, looking unabashedly devilish. “I do believe something was hard all right. Wasn’t it, Captain?”
Oh fuck. Busted.
Apparently, my poker face is malfunctioning. My thoughts about Romeo haven’t been as subtle as I hoped. Panic flies through me. However, the way Del is looking at me—like he knows exactly what’s going on—makes me pause.
Zaher Delacroix is many things, but he is never unkind. He’s insightful. If he’s got an inkling of what happened at the wedding and he’s bringing it up in front of everyone…that means he approves. He thinks I shouldn’t be ashamed or embarrassed.
As arguably the most empathetic member of our team, I can’t help but feel like he’s taken it upon himself to give me permission to open up about how I’m feeling.
It was a pretty mind-blowing event, if I’m honest.
While the rest of the team are looking anything between confounded and aghast, I glare back at Del, but it’s mostly just for show. I can't let him think he’s actually outsmarted me.
But also, I feel a tingle of excitement that I might get to talk about what happened, even vaguely.
“I think I prefer you before you fell madly in love and got married,” I grumble. However, there’s no actual menace to my words.
“Am I wrong?” he asks, sounding infuriatingly innocent.
Okay, so he’s not above a little teasing, it seems.
“Captain Valentine!” Sawyer exclaims, tossing his paperback aside with no regard for its spine. “Do you have something juicy to share with the class?”
“Remember those boundaries we talked about?” Anton mutters, looking helplessly toward the ceiling.
“Did you meet someone?” Yara asks, clutching her hooks and chunky blue yarn to her chest. I can practically see the cartoon hearts in her eyes.
I huff and take a moment to finish off my coffee. I can see a second cup in my near future, anyway. “Yes, okay, you vultures. I made a connection with someone. He’s very special, but it was just a one-time thing.” At least, for now, I add mentally. “It’s not a big deal.”
Lili’s eyes have gone alarmingly wide and a feral grin creeps over her face. “Oh, I think it is a big deal, Cap.”
“Okay, maybe it’s been a minute since I had a hook-up,” I concede with an eye roll.
But she gets to her feet and points at me. “It was with her brother, wasn’t it?”
Sawyer gasps and snaps his head back to stare at me. “Her little brother? The whole reason you were there in the first place?”
“He’s younger, not little,” I splutter. “A fully grown adult, in fact.”
“So you did bump uglies with the bride’s baby bro!” Lili shrieks.
“Oh my,” Rico says with a couple of blinks.
“Was it good?” Sawyer asks.
“What’s he like?” Lochlan adds.
Yara abandons her crafting all together and swoons. “Are you going to see him again?”
But it’s Gene who narrows his eyes at me. “Exactly how much of a fully grown adult are we talking, Julian?”
I fling out my arms in exasperation. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea, after all. “This is precisely why I didn’t want to tell you guys! How about a bit of professional courtesy, hmm?”
A few of them look sheepish, but Sawyer scoffs. “We’re not talking to you as our cap right now, Cap. We’re talking as friends. And friends spill the tea!”
I look back at Gene, who’s wearing an expression that clearly states he’s still waiting for an answer. I hold my hands up to him. “It’s not like I checked his driving license, but I’d guess late twenties or early thirties. It wasn’t weird, okay?”
“No one’s saying it was,” Lochlan assures me.
Gene arches an eyebrow before going back to his newspaper. “No one’s saying that now.”
“Cap,” Rico says firmly, and when I look over I see that he’s wearing a patient smile. “We’re just happy for you, is all. You’ve been through a lot recently. Meeting a cute guy sounds like just what you needed. If you’re happy, then so are we.”
Teddy, now fully dressed in his turnouts, hangs out the side of the rig and raises his eyebrows at me. “Does that mean you have a boyfriend, Cap?”
A slightly unnerving hush descends on the room as they watch me eagerly. Even Rocky perks up his ears. I lick my lips, suddenly unsure. That seems like an awfully big word to throw around at this early stage.
“He was amazing, really,” I tell them honestly. “But I’m in no position to even think about dating. So we said we’d keep in touch.”
“Aw, Cap! What?” Lili cries in despair.
But before she can lay into me with a lecture about seizing the day or not cock-blocking myself or whatever else is obviously on her mind, we’re all distracted by a sudden movement.
The station cat, Smokey, goes streaking across the forecourt so fast she’s practically a blur.
Rocky barks and goes to chase after her, but Lochlan seizes his collar just in time.
Then, several people’s phones ping in quick succession, including mine.
I recognize the tone immediately as part of the early alert system.
Sure enough, as soon as I snatch my phone from my pocket, I see an earthquake warning on the screen.
“Take cover!” I yell, throwing the nearest chair aside and ushering Lochlan, Rocky, and Lili under the dining table. Yara and Del jump inside the ambulance while Sawyer and Anton aim for under the pool table. Teddy leans out and helps Rico and I into the truck.
And Gene just rolls his eyes at all of us and goes back to reading his paper. “Bet it’s not even a two!” he calls out as the ground begins to shake.
Sure enough, the plates in the kitchen rattle and some of the wall hangings tremble, but we’ve had way worse in recent years, and the tremor is over in a matter of seconds.
“Told ya,” Gene crows.
However, I still give it several seconds before hopping out of the rig and giving a hard listen. “Seems all clear,” I confirm. “But I suggest suiting up anyway just in case—”
The tones sound.
“One-Thirteen to Spring Valley apartments. Structural damage, possible casualties, possible explosion.”
“Okay, team!” I holler, even though they’re already running.
Well, everyone except Teddy, who gives us a smug thumbs up from inside the truck.
“Let’s go, people!” Rico cries as we slip hurriedly into our turnouts.
Within seconds, we’re in the rigs, firing up the sirens and hustling out into the California morning. Hopefully, the incident won’t be too bad, but if it is, we’ll handle it.
Because this is what we do.
As much as I wanted to strangle them all, having my team make me talk about Romeo was kind of nice. But this is exactly why I can’t commit to a relationship right now. My crew need my undivided attention. When the alarm goes off, they’re the only thing I need to be concentrating on.
Not a sassy wedding planner with eyes like black diamonds and lips that taste like paradise.
So for now, I banish all thoughts of Romeo as we speed toward the call.
Or at least…that was the plan.