Chapter 17
Julian
Dear lord, I’m exhausted. With my work, I’m used to being physically and emotionally drained. But this is something else on top of that. I don’t think I’ve engaged in this level of self-reflection in years. My brain feels like it’s run a marathon.
That conversation with Romeo was intense.
I figured he’d been avoiding me since he moved in and I’d kind of hoped that today could be a bonding exercise of sorts.
I’ve never shared anything so intimate with anyone before, though.
It kind of reminded me of therapy, except I was the one in charge.
I’m not sure where the idea came from to make him face the mirror like that, but oh boy did it work.
Or at least it seemed to in the moment. I’m far from a trained counselor, after all.
As familiar as I am with the practice, I’ve just always been the patient.
In the immediate aftermath of our discussion, I worried that I’d overstepped and been too domineering. But seeing how light and happy he was compared to the past few days, it reassured me I’d done the right thing.
Witnessing Romeo in his own apartment showed me clearly that the dazzling young man I met at the wedding was the true version of him.
Not the shadow of a man I’ve seen over the past few days who wouldn’t say boo to a goose.
Like the real Romeo, his home is full of sparkle and bold prints and sass.
I couldn’t allow him to keep shrinking the way he was. It was killing me.
Obviously, one little pep talk isn’t going to fix everything.
However, when we started sorting out his clothes for the first batch of stuff to go down to my car, he put on some music from his phone and danced and sang his way around the room as he worked.
I was so mesmerized by him, I became pretty useless at packing anything.
But I can’t really blame myself. It was as if the genuine version of him was shining out from within again, and it was captivatingly beautiful.
So I’m pretty sure that tackling the issue head-on was for the best. Not only because it brought his sparkle back to life, but because it seems Romeo feels the same way about me as I do about him and now he has the confidence to admit it.
I guess only time will tell. But things between us seem settled in a way they haven’t before.
I mean, other than when we jumped into bed.
We were in perfect synchronization then.
Now, it’s possible we’re on the same page with our feelings and intentions, not just with our overwhelming desires. We both want to at least try pursuing something more and we’re obviously attracted to each other.
That’s a start, isn’t it?
I certainly had a lot to mull over while we sorted through Romeo’s apartment.
In the end, we filled my car as much as we could, drove back to my place and emptied everything hastily into the annex.
Then we drove both our cars back to the apartment building to do it all again with double the capacity.
It was a bit of a challenge with limited suitcases to work with.
But we utilized every bag, box, and god-damned fruit bowl we had at our disposal, running up and down the stairs over and over until every last one of Romeo’s important possessions was safely removed from the unstable structure.
There were some items we left, like the large furniture, towels, crockery and cutlery, that sort of stuff.
Basically, anything I already have at my place that was either too cumbersome or too heavy to get out easily, or made no sense to duplicate.
I was fully on board with prioritizing his incredible clothes, shoes, jewelry, make-up, and his truly wonderful art collection.
All the things that really sum up who Romeo Quincy is.
I think we did a pretty good job.
It’s been a physically demanding day as well as a challenge mentally trying to work out the logistics. Ordinarily, an operation like that would require a few dozen boxes, at least a couple of days to prepare, and preferably some kind of bigger transportation. We had none of those things.
But the pressure of knowing that another quake could bring the whole place down kept us focused and motivated.
I hoped it was unlikely that could happen while we were inside, but I’d rather have been safe than sorry.
The real driving force was knowing that this was our only main chance at a salvage operation.
The investigators said they’d rather the residents weren’t coming and going, so people are being allowed in over the next few days, but then the building will be sealed off until repair work can begin.
Or until it’s decided that the whole place is better off being demolished for safety.
It breaks my heart thinking that Romeo was willing to leave so much behind just to be less of an inconvenience.
Even after our motivational session, I still had to go through every room with him to double check there wasn’t stuff he wanted to bring.
I do think, though, that he’s slowly coming around to the idea that I actually want him to take up space in my life.
To be fair, it took me a minute to appreciate that it was okay for me to want that either.
I’m very grateful to the guys at work for knocking some sense into me.
Because I think there’s a chance I could have let my nobility get in the way of pursuing what it seems both Romeo and I want.
Maybe there is such a thing as being too gentlemanly.
I was letting my obsession with respecting his boundaries cockblock us both.
As Yara hammered home to me, life’s too short not to be happy.
And Romeo makes me happy. I think I make him happy in return.
In fact, I’d go so far as saying that trying to make him happy is my new reason for getting out of bed the past few days.
I think I’d be really good at it, too, and he deserves it.
Once both our cars were full after the second excursion, we decided Romeo would head straight back to mine. But I got a text from Nancy in the office saying that she needed me to hustle back to the station to co-sign some paperwork, so we agreed that I’d do that then join Romeo at home.
My home? Our home? I guess it is for the time being. The idea makes my insides feel gooey like chocolate syrup but also excited like popping candy.
Damn. I’ve got it bad.
I spend the drive replaying all the best little moments with Romeo today, like when he showed me a particularly awesome shell he found on the beach, or how he taught me the best way to pack up all his fabulous pairs of shoes, a job I took great care and pride in.
I’m so lost in thought that when I park up at the One-Thirteen, I’ve still got a dopey smile on my face and I haven’t once considered what this urgent paperwork might be.
“Apologies for interrupting your day off, Julian,” Nancy says briskly when she meets me at the door. “But I’m heading off shortly and I realized we neglected to complete these forms before you left this morning.”
What she means is that my dumb ass forgot all about whatever this paperwork is, but she’s far too professional to say it out loud. “No problem at all,” I assure her. “I’m glad I could come back when you messaged.”
She glances over her shoulder as she bustles toward her office. “You look like you’ve been having fun, whatever you were up to.”
I hum rather than indulge that sly look on her face. Anyone who’s set foot in this firehouse knows not to trust our head of admin with anything they don’t want spread across all three watches in a heartbeat.
“Captains Reynolds and Chauncey have already given me their autographs, so yours will make a full set,” she says as she directs me to the sheets waiting on her desk.
Oh, right, shit. The new rescue helicopter, finally.
The fundraising wasn’t actually the hardest part of getting this new bird off the ground—both figuratively and literally.
Especially with Teddy’s ex-football player boyfriend chipping in.
The headache has been all the red tape getting construction started on the roof for the helipad and finding pilots to hire let alone the money to train and pay them a salary.
But it looks like we’re finally making some progress at last, and I sign the necessary boxes gratefully.
Once again, my thoughts drift to Drayton Hendrix.
He’s filled in a few times at the One-Thirteen over the past year as well as over at the One-Two-Two in San Clemente.
He’s a licensed pilot, or at least he was back in Australia.
He’d be such a perfect fit around here. But he seems determined to stay committed to his nomad van life, traveling up and down the coast wherever his surfboard takes him. It’s a shame.
“Is that all?” I ask Nancy after the last page.
“Sure is,” she says as she scoops them all up and immediately slips them in an envelope. “You got yourself exciting plans this evening? Or are you going back to the plans I dragged you away from?”
“A bit of both,” I tell her cryptically, to which she huffs and rolls her eyes. But she’s not getting anything more out of me. Not yet, anyway.
I’m unsure how it’s going to be with Romeo now we’re not frantically packing up his life. I guess we could spend the evening unpacking it all again. But I can’t help but hope we can do something a little more relaxing.
This is insane. I’ve gone from thinking I couldn’t possibly consider dating anyone for at least several more months to rushing home to my maybe-man.
It’s pretty great.
“Valentine!” a voice booms over the concourse.
I was aware that the second watch were in due to the unmissable rigs parked in the bays.
But I was so determined to get back home that I wasn’t even thinking about who might see me.
Captain Reynolds comes striding over and claps me on the back. “What the devil are you doing here?”