Chapter 28
TWENTY-EIGHT
ROMAN
Idon’t know who reaches for the other first, but the moment we get to the house and the front door closes behind us, Jesse fucking climbs me at the same time my hands grip his thighs and lift him up.
His back hits the door with a gasp that turns into a moan when I lick inside his hot mouth, sucking on his tongue, and groaning when his fingers fist my hair and pull me even harder against him.
Small, needy sounds escape him while I grind between his thighs, and I swallow them greedily, wanting them all, wanting them back where they belong because they’re all mine, just like he is, just like he always has been.
I pull back, biting on his lips, needing to see them red and raw, before I start down his neck, sucking on his perfect skin.
“You remember the last time I had you against a door like this?”
He lets out a breathless chuckle that morphs into a whimper when I suck harder, hard enough to leave a mark, while his body arches, seeking more friction, rubbing his hard dick against mine.
“You made us come in our pants.”
“After you got jealous.”
Jesse’s hand tightens in my hair, pulling my head back, satisfaction coursing through me at his icy, blue eyes.
“She was touching you and you were looking at her.”
We’re locked in a stare-down, breathing hard, and I feast on the possessiveness in his gaze.
“Take off my shirt,” I tell him in a voice I don’t recognize, soft and firm. Because I need him to see. I need him to know.
He swallows, but does as I say, pulling the T-shirt off me and throwing it somewhere behind me, before he grows still in my arms. His eyes widen as they stare at my chest, and there is an imperceptible tremble in his hand when the tips of his fingers touch his tattoo.
The blue jay over my heart, unreachable by the vines and thorns that spread over my arms and shoulders, and bleed down my sides.
The touch is gentle and careful, as if he’s almost afraid he’ll mess it up. As if it hasn’t been on my skin for years now, on the spot that’s only ever been reserved for him.
I don’t breathe the entire time he explores it, his eyes fixed on it, taking in every detail.
“Did it hurt?” he whispers, looking up. “Walking away and staying away. Did it hurt?”
“Yes.” The word rips out of me, leaving nothing but pulsing pain behind.
“Did it hurt like you couldn’t breathe? Like it was agony?” His voice breaks at the end and it drives me crazy.
“Like I was dying.”
He nods slowly, his eyes swimming with countless emotions, before he wraps his arms around my neck, leans in and kisses me, his tongue delving deep, tangling with mine in slow and ruthless strokes, until I’m the one moaning in his mouth, my hands gripping his thighs even tighter.
“Take me upstairs, Roman,” he breathes out hoarsely against my lips. “Take me upstairs and fuck me on your bed. I need you to fuck this fucking hurt out of me, out of us.”
The sound that leaves me makes him shiver in my hold and bury his face in my neck, as I straighten up and carry him to our room, to our bed. I strip him of his clothes and get rid of mine while keeping him fused to me, which is a damn feat, but I sure as fuck am not letting him go for one second.
It’s not until his nails are scoring my back, his gloriously naked body writhing with need beneath mine, his legs wrapped around my hips, the tip of my dick rubbing against his hole, that I realize I’m seconds away from fucking him with no prep and no condom.
“Blue,” I manage to say, shuddering when he mouths my neck, and bears down on my cock, trying to get it inside him. “Blue, fuck, I need to prep you.”
“Don’t need it,” he mumbles against my throat, voice slurred with lust. “I want to feel you. I want it to hurt.” He trembles under me when his cock rubs against my abs.
“I want to feel stretched around you, just like the first time.” His eyes crack open with difficulty and endless blue peers up at me.
“Just like the first time you fucked me and made me yours.”
Jesus fuck. My hips stutter forward at his words, the head notching in his entrance, and I have to physically restrain myself from doing exactly that—impaling him on my cock in one hard thrust. But I can’t hurt him like that.
“Shh,” I soothe him when I pull back enough to reach for the lube in the nightstand, and he lets out a whine that drips with desperation. “I’ll slick you up just a little, baby. Just enough so we can go hard, okay?”
He nods fast, and damn if he doesn’t look stunning like this—his hair wild, a few strands already sticking to his temple from sweat, his eyes hazy with need, his body splayed and pink and all for me.
“Yes,” he sighs, opening his legs even more, his fingers fisting the sheets, his breath hitching when I circle his rim with two slippery fingers before I sink them knuckle-deep inside him. “Hard, yes, I want it hard. Take me hard, Ro. Fucking break me.”
He says that, but when I cup his face with my other hand, he leans into the touch softly, like he’s starved for it, moaning when I scissor him open.
Because he wants both. He wants to be taken apart, to be broken into pieces, as much as he needs to be put together. Like I do.
I slip my fingers out and I grit my teeth when he shivers with need.
Fuck, I have—I have to get inside him.
Lubing up my dick hastily, I growl when I feel him sucking me in, the sensation mind-blowing.
Oh fuck, it feels—it feels—
Shit.
“Blue. Blue, stop,” I tell him when he loops his arms around me once more, and rolls his hips to get more inches in him. “I’m not wearing a condom.”
His breathing is shallow as he looks up at me.
“Are you safe? I’m negative. No one’s ever fucked me bare except you. You’re the only one.”
Wild, unrestrained pleasure tears through me as I feed him my entire length in one hard, deep thrust.
He has nothing to fear from me, just like then.
A raw sound rips out of his throat as he clings to me and I keep his body locked with mine.
I don’t give him more than a few seconds to adjust before I’m pulling back and slamming into him again, and again, until I’m fucking into him with a desperation that borders on insanity.
Everything. He’s fucking everything.
“Roman.” My name is a broken plea on his lips as his arms hold onto me as if he’ll never let me go, his face buried in the crook of my neck, his hips chasing every movement I make, matching me perfectly. Like he’s been made for me. “I missed you so much, my Roman.”
I turn my head to kiss his temple and inhale his caramel and vanilla scent greedily, my thrusts never letting up, changing my angle until he fucking screams against my skin when I nail his sweet spot.
“I’m here, Blue,” I croak out, kissing every inch of his face I can reach, until he pulls back and his lips are on mine and it feels like he’s breathing into himself the words I’m speaking against his mouth. “I’m here now.”
His insides clench around me, and my eyes almost roll to the back of my head as I push into him more, trying to get deeper into him, deep enough so he never gets rid of me.
His hands fist my hair, keeping my gaze locked with his even as I feel him tremble with the need to come.
“Promise me.” The words are firm and uncompromising, his body seconds from giving in to the pleasure that’s about to ruin us both.
And I give him the words I never did back then.
“I promise,” I vow to him, and it’s like he melts in my arms, his back arching, his hips riding my thrusts with an urgency I feel in my bones.
My movements become erratic, losing all sense of rhythm, morphing into shallow jabs that hit him exactly where he needs, that make his eyes stare at nothing, sightless and breathtaking.
“Come, Jesse. Come for me, my perfect Blue.”
His body squeezes me to the point of pain as he moans in agony, in relief, letting himself go and coming, his cock jerking on his stomach, cum pulsing out of him in tandem with my thrusts.
And I fucking lose it, my cock throbbing inside him as violent ecstasy rushes down my spine and makes my vision go white, as I pour everything inside him, filling him to the brim.
I barely manage to hold my weight before I collapse on him, but he’s having none of it, pulling me on him and wrapping all his limbs tightly around me until I have no idea how he’s even breathing under me.
“I’ll crush you, Blue.”
He just pulls me in harder.
“Then you’ll crush me.”
I tilt my head back just so I can look at him, so I can brush the long strands off his face and drink in his relaxed features, the soft, sated look in his eyes.
Which makes him whine and me chuckle.
“You’re not allowed to move,” he mumbles adorably, and I can’t not lean in and kiss the small pout away.
“You want us to stay like this?”
“Mhm,” he hums, sucking on my lip, before he slips his tongue in my mouth and I fall into him, taking over the kiss until he’s whimpering.
“For how long?” I whisper hoarsely, stealing one more kiss before he can answer.
“A few days?” he says but grins when I chuckle against his mouth. “Okay, how about until you get hard again and you can fuck me one more time?” We both groan when he tightens his inner muscles around my half-hard dick still inside him. “I don’t think it will take long.”
I rock my hips, moving inside him slowly, shallowly, watching his mouth go slack with pleasure, his eyes growing cloudy and unfocused with every second that passes.
“You like that, baby?”
“Yeees,” he draws the word out, pure bliss on his face.
“Does it hurt?”
He nods, a loopy smile tipping the corners of his lips.
“It hurts, but I like it. It feels good. You make it hurt so good.” His hands run down my back and up my shoulders, touching me everywhere, mapping every part of me.
I shiver, unable to take my eyes off him.
“Does it hurt less now, Blue?” I ask him, burning to know.
He peers into me steadily, knowing exactly what I’m asking him.
And when he nods, I feel like I can finally breathe.
I’ll make it all go away. All the hurt. All the pain.
His. Mine. And ours.