Chapter 28 #2
Because I’m not losing him to myself again.
***
“These really look so pretty, Roman.”
It’s much later, but we’re back to our room after having showered and eaten. The afternoon sun shines lazily through the cracked-open window that allows a faint, balmy breeze to steal inside.
Jesse is sprawled on my chest, resting his chin on one folded hand, while the other traces every tattoo line I have on me. His hair is dark gold, still mostly wet, dressed in only a black T-shirt of mine and humming to the rock-metal song playing softly from my phone.
I run my knuckles down the side of his face because it’s impossible not to touch him. He’s the only one I’ve ever wanted to touch like this, to keep touching obsessively until he can’t live without it.
“I’m glad you like them,” I murmur, my chest filling with warmth when he gives me the softest look.
“When did you get them?”
“About three years ago. I’d already been apprenticing at Jackson’s tattoo shop for a couple of years. I worked on the design and one of the guys I work with, Bodhi, put it on me, piece by piece.”
He nods, his full attention on me as he unconsciously caresses the blue jay tattoo, and I don’t think my mind has ever been quieter than in this moment.
“What happened, Ro? After you—?” He swallows, cutting his sentence off, but I know what he means.
After I left him.
My fingers slide into his hair and the tension slowly bleeds out of him when I knead his nape. My pulse threatens to speed up at the thought of those days, but it doesn’t, not with Jesse’s warm weight on me, anchoring me to the present.
“Jackson probably saved my life,” I finally admit roughly, and Jesse sucks in a breath, his eyes widening.
“His was one of the tattoo shops I’d sent my portfolio to.
I went to the shop that day to see if they were interested.
” I can still remember Jackson’s kind smile, so different from his imposing stature.
“He said he was going to give me a call a few days later, but when he found me sleeping in my car that night, he hired me for the apprenticeship on the spot. But it’s not just that,” I say, drawing strength and comfort from this sweet man curled on me.
“He took me in, Blue, when he had no reason to. He let me sleep on the couch of his shop, and paid me more than any apprentice would ever get. I owe him so much.” A small smile slips out because I can basically see him scowling like he’s always done whenever I’ve said that to him.
Jesse watches me intently before he lifts up and leans over me, pressing a kiss on my lips that starts gentle but ends up with both of us breathing just a little harder, clinging just a bit tighter.
But it’s the way his bottom lip trembles and the way his eyes fill, red rimming that perfect blue, that sends me into panic.
“Hey,” I say, reaching to grip his biceps and pull him fully on my lap, until his thighs are straddling me and his face is in my hands. “It’s okay, Blue. It all worked out.”
He nods in my hold. “I know. I know, it’s just—God, it’s stupid.” He lets out a watery chuckle that makes my heart squeeze. “I don’t know why I’m being like this.”
“You’re being perfect like always, Jesse,” I tell him simply because it’s the truth.
“Oh God, please don’t say these things to me right now, Roman,” he mutters, and pure contentment fills my chest when I see his eyes lose their earlier melancholy and his cheeks warm with a blush beneath my palms.
“You don’t want me to say it?” I whisper, leaning up to kiss one corner of his lips, then the other, and then suck on the full pink bottom one.
He shakes his head, even as his eyes burn with pleasure, and burn even more when I release his face and grasp his waist, flipping our positions until he’s on his back and I’m hovering over him.
“How about I show you then?” I ask in a voice that does nothing to hide the yearning behind it.
“I need to worship you for a little while, Blue, to obsess over you like I haven’t let myself do.
Just for a little while,” I plead, my heart pounding hard in my chest as a familiar thrill rushes through my veins. “Will you let me?”
A small sound escapes Jesse as he nods his head, a sound that goes straight to my dick, but I ignore it because this isn’t about me, but him. And the need to fucking gorge myself on him.
“You’ll tell me if it’s too much?” If I’m too much?
“It won’t be,” he replies, not a single doubt in his voice, a whimper rising in his throat when I spread his legs and rest on my haunches between them.
And just fucking devour the sight of him like this—my black T-shirt bunched around his waist, leaving his pink, half-hard cock exposed on his quivering belly, the hem teasing the tip.
I bend down almost in a trance and kiss along that hem line, feeling the lean muscles underneath jump at the touch. Gripping the black material, I slide it up and up, mouthing every inch of skin it uncovers, until I reach his nipples.
A moan breaks out when I latch onto one, licking and sucking on it until he can no longer stay still, squirming for more.
I look up at him when I move my assault to the other one, and when I see how flushed he already is, the want in his half-lidded eyes, I nip on it hard, leaving it red and sensitive, small bruises blooming around it.
“I want to mark every inch of you.” The confession feels like it’s being dragged out of me from a place made entirely of need and Jesse.
I dip my tongue into his belly button and his belly trembles.
“I wish I could lock us into this room, and do nothing but fuck you, and kiss you, and make you scream, until you need nothing but me.”
“God, Ro…”
I bypass his cock that’s hard as fuck now, the head wet and begging for my mouth, and nuzzle the trimmed dark-blond hair on his groin, inhaling his scent like the addictive drug it is.
“Would you like that?” I murmur, wrapping a hand around his pretty dick, and giving it a slow, thorough pump. “Locking you up with me so you can never leave? Having you on my cock 24/7? Fucking you until you think of nothing else but me?”
He doesn’t have a chance to answer because in the next instant I’m swallowing him down and he’s too busy trying not to come the second he’s down my throat.
Jesse is nothing but delirious, unintelligible sounds as I suck him all the way up and he pops out of my mouth.
“Don’t come, Blue. I’m not done yet.” I’ll never be fucking done.
“Roman.” Fuck, my name steeped in that kind of desperation makes me so fucking hard. “I-I don’t know if I—”
“You can, angel.”
I bob up and down his length a few more times, loving the wet sounds his dick is making, loving the precum that keeps leaking steadily because he can’t help himself, because no matter how much he’s trying to control himself he just loves what I’m doing to him too much.
More. I want more. Never enough.
Gripping the back of his thighs, I push them up, folding him in half, my tongue finding his perfect hole that takes me so well, still a bit swollen from before.
A guttural sound leaves my Blue as he melts, going soft and pliant as I slowly lick him open, soothing the spot I hurt earlier until his hips start rocking against my tongue.
I steal a glance at him and he looks so gone, so wrecked, his eyes fighting to stay open, to watch me eat him out, so damn beautiful.
I keep my eyes locked with his, a feral smile curving my lips when I watch the exact moment I spear him with my tongue and his head falls back, his neck arching, losing the battle.
I’m gonna do this to him the next time I come inside him. I will pump him full of cum and then I will have him feed it back to me, every last drop.
Jesse’s thighs start to tremble in my palms, whimpers falling out of his parted lips the more I fuck him with my tongue, the more I get him all loose and wet and sloppy, until I know he must be aching to come.
But I also know he’s fucking loving it when he lifts his head and smiles at me, baring it all—his want, his need, his trust, and more. So much more.
So, I fist his cock and give it one tight, hard stroke at the same time I stretch his rim open, and he explodes.
His hole clenches while his dick jerks, and I barely have time to fit my mouth over the head, sucking the cum out of him, giving him one last slide down to his balls before I pull off, licking him clean.
His stomach rises and falls with his breaths as I kiss up his body, brushing a tender kiss on his nipples, before I rise above him, bracing my hands on either side of his head.
Perfect. Just like I told him he is.
He peers up at me while his hands come up to cradle my face.
“Yes.”
I frown in confusion and he smiles.
“Yes, I would like that,” he whispers in his raspy, hoarse voice, my heartbeat hammering in my chest when I remember what I was telling him before. “All of it.”
This time, it’s him that doesn’t let me answer, pulling me down, slotting our mouths together, licking into me and tasting himself until he makes me groan.
But my grin pressed against his as we become a tangled mess of limbs, is answer enough.