Chapter 16 Colt
Colt
“Christ,” I groaned, watching Violet sip on a glass of orange juice as the bagel I made her sat on the corner of my desk. I’d bitten the nail on my thumb right down to the raw, tender flesh, watching every move she made to see if she was still feeling dizzy.
“I’m fine. I told you I just didn’t eat before I came down here. Stupid move on my part, but nothing to worry about. Especially now that you’ve fed me enough to put me into a coma.”
“You’re lucky I haven’t cuffed us together and thrown away the key.”
“Colton Ford.” She leaned forward, pinning me with her eyes.
“I told you last night, Vi. I’m not playing around this time. I’m winning you back. I’m taking care of you. Both of you.”
She rolled her eyes, but I didn’t miss the way her lips turned up in the corner before she leaned back in her chair.
“Now,” I continued, “why don’t you tell me why you’re down here.”
“Well, I’m certainly not going to have you waste taxpayer dollars on stationing a deputy outside your house.”
“Our house.”
She bit her plump lower lip and shook her head.
There was no way Violet wasn’t aware of the effect she was having on me.
Christ, I thought I might lose control of myself the second my eyes landed on her wearing my sweatshirt.
Did she remember buying it on our honeymoon? Was that why she wore it down here?
“And I’m the acting sheriff. I get to delegate my force to wherever I feel the need is greatest. Besides chasing down a few teenage hooligans who were out tagging buildings on Ford Avenue last night, we’ve got the resources. And keeping you safe is my number one priority.”
Her brows pulled together. “What about the big investigation you had to come into work for this morning? That’s obviously bigger than what’s going on with me.”
I shook my head. “Let me be very clear here: you are my number one priority. Keeping you and our son safe comes before everything else. But we think there’s a serial arsonist in Clarence County. Unfortunately, that’s all I can say about that right now.”
“Gosh, that’s scary. But I understand.”
I looked down at my watch. “There’s only about an hour until you’re due for your medication. Do you want me to drive you back home?”
She smirked. “Oh no. I told you, I’m not sitting at home with some deputy assigned to me.
I’ll be perfectly fine working right from here.
And if you need to take a meeting in your office, I can use the break room.
Besides, I have a few questions I want to ask Deputy Jones about procedural things for my manuscript. ”
“You can just ask me.”
“You’re too busy. I don’t want to bog you down with my silly plot line questions.”
“Vi,” I grumbled. “You need help with a scene? You need help with dialogue? You need to test out a position or two that your characters find themselves in?” I winked. “I’m your guy. I’m the only guy. Not Deputy Jones. Okay?”
I watched her round cheeks flush a pretty shade of sunset pink as she bit down on that damn lip again, shifting in her seat. “Got it.”
“Good.”
The silence was driving me bonkers. There was so much I wanted to ask her. So much I was desperate to know. I hadn’t wanted to push last night, but the glances I was not so sneakily stealing right now of the woman I’d loved my whole life, pregnant with my baby, wasn’t enough.
“Are you craving anything?” I blurted out.
Vi’s eyes left her laptop screen and found mine, a smile spreading across her face. “No, that juice and bagel were perfect. Thank you.”
“I don't mean now. I meant…throughout the pregnancy. Did you have cravings at first? Are they the same now? Maybe we should go grocery shopping on the way home, that way I know I have stuff at the house you like to eat.”
Her head tilted, and then laughter filled the office.
“I promise, whatever you have at the house is fine. Your son is just hungry. All the time. Pickles? Great. Steak? Great. An egg salad sandwich and pasta with marinara sauce at two in the morning with a bowl of cinnamon pecan swirl ice cream to wash it down? Great.”
“What about morning sickness? Heartburn?”
“I had some nausea in the beginning. Heartburn’s been touch and go since the second trimester.”
I nodded. “Will you tell me more? Please?”
Her eyes softened and she shut her laptop. Violet pushed off the chair, walking around my desk to me. She leaned against the edge of my desk, wrapping her hand around mine and bringing it to her belly.
My face fell. “Is he okay?” I asked. Her belly was bouncing slightly, but at a steady pace. It wasn’t a kick.
“He has the hiccups,” she explained.
The tension released from my shoulders and I brought my other hand up to cup the roundest part of her bump. I pressed my lips to the fabric of my sweatshirt, pulled tightly across her. “I can’t wait—” The baby kicked out, Vi’s hand covering mine as she laughed.
“I think you scared him!”
Her belly jumped up and down in my grasp as she continued to giggle. “Has that happened before?”
“No! No one has been close enough to my belly before for that to happen.”
“I’m sorry, little one. Daddy didn’t mean to scare you.”
Violet stilled. Shit! Did I push too hard? All my fears seemed to be confirmed when I looked up and saw her eyes sparkling with tears.
“Vi, I—”
“No, I’m sorry. I’m really, truly, deeply sorry that you didn’t get to experience this pregnancy with me.
I convinced myself that I had to protect you from something going wrong.
If I didn’t tell you, until I knew he was here and he was safe and he was healthy, that if something bad did happen, I would be the only person heartbroken.
There wasn’t a part of me that considered how heartbroken you’d be over every good and happy thing that you missed.
I thought the ends justified the means. And I was wrong. ”
I moved my hand off her belly to cup her cheek.
My thumb caught the first tear that fell as she leaned into my touch.
I traced my finger over a few of her freckles before shaking my head.
“I know you were trying to do what was right. For you. And our son. And most of all to protect me. I’m not mad at you.
You don’t need to apologize any more. Do I wish I had been there from the moment you decided to try again?
Of course. But not because I need those memories for fatherhood.
But because I wish that we had that time together. For us.”
Before she could respond, the phone on my desk rang.
“I’ll let you get that,” Vi responded, sounding a little out of breath as our connection broke. She walked back to her chair and opened her laptop while I took the call.