Chapter 17 Colt
Colt
Iopened the group chat I had with my siblings, typing silently behind my computer screen as Vi focused on her own work. I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt so relaxed doing administrative tasks. It was like her proximity had reset my nervous system. Was that even possible?
I talked to Dad this morning. We’re moving family dinner to tonight.
Hayes:
What’s going on?
Beau:
You good?
Yeah. Just some things we need to talk about as a family.
Lachlan:
That doesn’t sound ominous.
Jessie:
Lach, are you even going to be there?
Three dots next to my youngest brother’s picture popped up, only to disappear a moment later. I knew what he was trying to type out. That no, he wouldn’t be there. Because he didn’t like to leave his house any more. And we didn’t push him to.
My phone chimed into the silence of the office. Vi looked up from her laptop screen, smiling as I took off my reading glasses.
“It’s time for your medicine,” I said, watching her eyes drop down to check the time for herself on her screen.
“God, I was so lost in my manuscript it only felt like a few minutes had passed.”
Well, that was good. Maybe she hadn’t noticed the fact that I was constantly sneaking glances at her from across my desk.
“Must be a good story.”
“I don’t totally hate it at this point, which is odd, seeing as how last week I was certain I would have to delete the whole thing and start over.”
I pushed up from my chair, walking towards her bag. “Is it okay if I get in here?”
She nodded. “There’s just a pre-filled syringe in some packaging.”
I nodded. “I took a look at the box when they were dropped off. And I looked at an article quick when I was waiting for the briefing to start this morning. Injecting it looks pretty straight forward.”
Violet stood up from her chair and turned towards the door.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“Oh, I…uh. I didn’t notice the alcohol pads I use with the box, so I was just going to wash a spot on my belly in the bathroom before we did this.”
I shook my head. “Hank has a first aid kit in his desk. We’ll just grab one out of there. If we can’t get back into your parents’ place to grab the ones you have, I’ll pick some up at the Shop and Save so we have our own supply for the next few days.”
“You really think they won’t have what they need by tomorrow?”
“It can take a few days to turn a crime scene around.”
Shivers rolled through her body. “God. I hate how that sounds. A crime scene. I was standing there, not even knowing something had happened. If I hadn’t seen that email, I would have gone upstairs…I can’t imagine.”
“I’m glad you didn’t have to see it.”
“I just want the baby’s things. They were in one of my suitcases, but I hadn’t unpacked anything yet. Did you see it up there? Maybe they won’t need to enter it for evidence.”
I winced as I walked around to my desk, not answering as I grabbed the first aid kit out and started looking through it. Just like I thought, alcohol pads were in there behind the bandages.
“Colt?”
“Come here.” I guided her back, so her bottom was resting on the edge of my desk.
Her hands went behind her, stabilizing herself on the desktop.
It made her belly stick out further than I’d seen it before.
There was no way I could stick a needle into her skin.
What if I hurt her? What if I poked through something important?
No. I knew that was a dumb thought. The needles were short and c-sections had to cut through something like seven layers of skin, fat, and muscles to deliver a baby—yes, another thing I’d learned as I scrolled every possible new parent website for information about everything I’d missed, and everything that would be happening over the next few weeks.
I swallowed down my nerves. While I mentioned the article I’d read to Vi, I left out the fifteen videos I’d watched on properly injecting the medication, specifically in the belly during pregnancy. There was no way I was about to mess up something so important.
“Let me get through this, and we can talk about it.”
She smiled. “This isn’t surgery. I promise, it’s no big deal.”
“I’m about to push a needle into your body and inject you with medication.
It’s a very big deal.” I knelt down between her legs, pushing my sweatshirt all the way up to the top of her belly.
She was wearing some sort of maternity leggings, and my fingers reached out to pull them down over her bump, but I froze.
“Is it okay if I—”
She nodded, and I slipped my fingers under the band, pulling the fabric down so it rested across her hips. The line of bruises, all in different stages of fading, appeared.
I sucked in a harsh breath. “Christ, I don’t know how you do this, Vi.”
“The outcome is worth the cost.”
I felt like I’d been kicked in the chest. Of course she felt like that. Before I ripped open the alcohol wipe, I pressed my lips quickly over the darkest looking bruise.
“Thank you for taking such good care of our son,” I whispered, unable to clear the emotion from my throat.
I reached over her hip and slipped my glasses back on. The antiseptic cloth came out of its packaging and I found a clear spot, an inch to the right of her belly button, just like the instructions online had said. Violet’s muscles tightened as the cold cloth pressed to her skin.
“Sorry,” I muttered as I cleaned an area larger than I needed to. Like I said, I wasn’t about to take any chances that something could happen.
As soon as I lifted the cloth away, I blew my breath across her skin. Her breath hitched, but steadied as I took the syringe out, pulled the cap off, and in one smooth motion, pushed it into her skin.
“Go slow, it burns if you go too quickly,” she instructed.
I nodded, pressing the small blue plunger as evenly as possible. Once I hit the stop, I pulled the needle out, capped it, and deposited it in the SHARPS container in the corner of Hank’s office.
Striding back over to the desk, I removed the instantly ready ice pack from the first aid kit, snapping the mechanism inside and shaking it until it cooled. I tsked at Vi, who looked like she was getting ready to pull up the waistband of her pants.
“Wait one second. I read you could put a cold compress on it to help with the burning. Try this for a minute or two.”
She laughed, taking the compress from my hands. “That’s so sweet of you, but I don’t think I should just stand here in your office with my belly exposed like this. What if someone walks in?”
“They’ll knock first, and unless it’s an emergency, it can wait five minutes while I make sure you’re okay.”
She didn’t argue again. “You did a great job.”
“I’m surprised you couldn’t feel my fingers shaking. I don’t know how you’ve done that to yourself this entire time.”
“I wasn’t very successful in the beginning.
Something about the first trimester…trying to do the injections would always set off my gag reflex.
So I’d be gagging the entire time I was trying to hold still while doing the injection.
I’m sure I was quite the ridiculous sight.
” She placed the cold pack against her belly and pulled her pants up around it, tucking the sweatshirt back into place.
“I actually almost passed out a few times. Had to lay on my bathroom floor for a good ten minutes before I could get up.”
Her eyebrows shot up as a grumble bounced around my chest. “I should have been there.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“No. No. No more apologizing to me about it.”
“I don’t have to share—”
“Stop. Full stop, Vi. I want to hear every story. I want to know every detail. I told you already that I want you to tell me it all so I can write it into my memories like I was there when it all happened. But I don’t think I can control the anger I feel towards myself for not being there to help.
I know it’s not rational, but I feel it. ”
She stood up from the desk, closing the distance between us. Her hair was pulled back into a messy bun, little strands poking out here and there. Her freckles were still out in full force, like she’d just come inside after sitting under the sun. God, I wanted to kiss each and every one.
Her hand reached up, cupping my cheek. This felt like a dream, but if it was one, I never want to wake up.
“How about this? I agree to stop apologizing, and you agree to absolve yourself of guilt that has no right to weigh you down.”
“Deal,” I agreed. “Should we seal it with a kiss?”
Violet tipped her head back and laughed. I hadn’t noticed before, but she had the most beautiful lines in the corners of her eyes. Smile lines. Fuck, I could stare at them for hours.
“Keep wearing those glasses of yours around me, and I don’t think I’ll be able to say no to that offer.”