Chapter 18 Violet
Violet
Why had I agreed to this?
I was solely focused on the sound of our footsteps trekking across the gravel of Colt’s parents’ driveway, trying desperately to stop my mind from spiraling—it wasn’t working.
Of course, I was nervous when he told me we were having dinner with his family, but I forced it to the back of my mind until I remembered I had no nice clothes, and all of my makeup was still at my house.
I might have cried really hard in the truck as we left his work, and poor Colt looked so scared.
As soon as I told him I was freaking out about looking absolutely disheveled wearing his clothes to a family dinner with people I hadn’t seen in years, he took pity on me.
We drove straight to the discount department store on the edge of Bell Ridge and I found a sweet little green sundress that actually fit over my belly.
It almost touched the ground, too, so that was nice.
I managed to grab a cute cream cardigan, a tube of mascara, and a round brush.
Colt swore he had a hair dryer at the house I could use when we got back.
And then more tears came when I saw it was the hairdryer I had left behind when I moved out. He’d kept it in the same bathroom drawer and everything.
My hand smoothed the fabric over my belly as we walked closer to the house. I didn’t care if this was the only thing I had to wear for the rest of my pregnancy. It made me feel pretty, and that was a blessing.
“What’s wrong?” Colt’s hand squeezed mine as he stopped walking.
“Nothing’s wrong? Why would you think anything is wrong?”
His eyebrows shot up to his hat, and he chuckled. “You haven’t ever been this quiet before in your life.”
I pressed the fingers Colt wasn’t holding directly into the small of my back and sighed. “I’ll have you know, I like being quiet these days. Quiet is my favorite.”
“Not buying it, darlin’.” Christ. Every time that cowboy drawl came out, it made my whole damn body flush.
Who the hell was I kidding? Just because I was carrying his baby, just because we were about to tell his whole family about it, didn’t mean Colt and I would find our way back to each other.
We were two people with a past who would love our child no matter what, and I needed to hold onto that.
“Okay, I know you think I’m dramatic when it comes to checking in with you, but you are actually starting to worry me. Are you okay?” The gentle touch of his fingers on my elbow did absolutely nothing to chill the full hormonal flush that was creeping over my skin.
“I’m fine, I think I’m just having a hot flash. The baby makes it so damn hard to regulate my temperature.” I pulled away from him and tried to shuck my jacket off my body.
“Vi?”
I wasn’t fine. Not at all. Because Colt had been so wonderful about everything, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t walking into a situation where the rest of his family wouldn’t be absolutely fuming that I hadn’t come straight back to Silver Springs the second the pregnancy test was positive.
And my damn hormones were swinging so fast these days I felt like sobbing, but I wasn’t sure if it was because I was overwhelmed, or nervous, or scared, or so fucking horny for my husband that if he kept looking at me with concern in his eyes, I might just tackle him to the ground right here and rip his clothes off.
“I’m nervous, okay?!” The damn jacket fell into my hands and I waved it around like I’d lost my mind.
Which clearly, I had. “I mean, I haven’t seen most of your family for years, and I’m quite certain they’re all on your side now, which of course it’s not about sides.
And they should be on yours. It’s just that…
I ran. I ran, and I left everything and everyone I loved here, and now I’m back and I’m having a baby, but not just a baby.
I’m having our baby. The baby that would have meant we stayed together and had a happy life here like we always talked about, but instead we’re living together in the house we worked so hard to turn into a home during our marriage, sleeping in the bed we made love to each other in, not touching the elephant in the room that is what happens when the baby is born, and we have to figure out how to split time.
Because I know that’s what you are going to ask me to do, Colt.
I know you want to be in this baby’s life, and I want that for you too.
But you also can’t take him from me. You signed away your rights and that means legally, he is mine and only mine.
So if you think walking into that house is going to give you some sort of power over me, or if you think I’m going to let your family wrap their arms around me and hold me in place until I agree to give the baby over to you, then…
then…I don’t know.” My voice hitched, and I swear my flushed skin sizzled as a tear rolled down my cheek. “I’m just scared.”
Colt didn’t say a word—he just moved. Before I could fall apart even more, his strong arms were around me. Comforting me. Pouring in his own strength and silent promises to me.
“I would never take our son from you.” His words vibrated through his chest as his hold on me tightened.
“As for everything else you just blurted out in an adorable rant, don’t give a second thought to my family.
I’ll always be on your team when it comes to facing anyone in the world, especially my knucklehead brothers and my sometimes overbearing parents.
We already know Jessie and Hawk are Team Calliope. ”
I gasped and shoved my hand against his chest. “Don’t say that name out loud! Someone could overhear you,” I hissed.
He just laughed, his hands gathering my hair up off my neck. I felt a cool breeze dust over my heated skin, the effect instantaneous. My shoulders fell, the tension melting away.
“Better?” he asked.
“Better.”
“Good. Now, if you feel like freaking out more, we can hang out here for another minute. Or, we can just tackle it head first and get it over with. Your choice.”
“Run, and hide, and live with the hope that your family won’t hate me forever and ever, please.”
Colt laughed. “Sweetheart, my family would be so disappointed if we didn’t give them a chance to love on the baby and support us.”
The house was filled with conversation and laughter as we walked in, which would have been awesome if not for the fact that everyone literally stopped speaking and turned to look at us.
I swear, Hayes and Beau looked exactly the same as the last time I saw them, but I couldn’t believe how much Beau’s best friend, Birdie, had changed. Not in a bad way, either. She was always a cute girl, but she was absolutely stunning now.
“Hey, guys. Decided to go with a full on stare at Vi instead of a welcome wagon?” Colt joked, breaking some of the tension.
“Are they dating?” I whispered to Colt.
His brows pulled together. “Who?”
“Beau and Birdie?”
He shook his head at me, his face full of surprise.
“Violet! It’s so great to see you again!” Birdie wrapped her arms around me.
“So great to see you, too. I wasn’t expecting you to be here tonight, but I should have known better. You and Beau still attached at the hip?”
“Pretty much. Someone has to keep him from saying all the ridiculous things that his brain comes up with.”
I laughed.
“Listen, this is probably so forward of me and you probably have things handled, but I know it can be tricky moving when you’re close to your due date.
Jess mentioned you might need someone…I’m a certified nurse midwife and work in Bell Ridge with Dr. Witten and the staff at St. Clare’s hospital.
I would be happy to make sure the office fits you into the rotation, or take you on myself as your midwife.
Whatever you’d be comfortable with.” Birdie’s smile was so genuine it cracked open the wall I was quickly constructing around my heart.
“She delivered Beckett, actually, right here on the ranch. So, if you want a review of how she did, I can definitely give you one.” Jessie smiled. “I’ll tell you this, I absolutely wanted to throttle her when she said I wasn’t going to make it to the hospital.”
“But,” Birdie laughed, “I was right. There was no way we were making it all the way to Bell Ridge. And you had an uncomplicated delivery, thank goodness.”
“Except for a son arriving when we were expecting a daughter,” Hawk laughed.
“Yeah, well, there’s nothing I can do about that!” Birdie rolled her eyes.
“Alright, quit hoggin’ her.” Hayes stepped up next to Birdie, holding his arms out to me. I stepped into them, happy for the embrace.
“Missed you, Vee.” The familiar nickname made my throat ache. “Jessie’s been a real pain in my ass lately. Could have used that older-sister energy to put her in her place, you know.”
“I can, with one-thousand percent certainty, say I’d be on Jess’s side when it comes to dealing with you.” I laughed as he stepped back, his hand coming over his heart as his face crumpled in fake pain.
“Ouch.”
“Did I hear my daughter-in-law’s voice? Or am I just losing my mind?” Colt’s dad, Danny, stepped out from the hallway, a dish towel on his right shoulder and a Kiss the Cowboy apron tied over his chest. “Well, I’ll be damned. Hey there, honey.”
I waved my hand, unable to speak past the lump in my throat.
“Oh, bless us! Violet! Look at you!” Colt’s mother had tears already welling in her eyes as she pulled me into a hug.
Dolly had been a second mother to me, really like a true mom, from the very first time I walked into her diner.
But once Colt and I became inseparable, she was someone I talked to about everything.
Her advice and the wisdom she shared meant everything to me.
“Hi, Dolly. I’ve missed you.”
She released me from the embrace, but her hands landed sternly on my arms. “None of that Dolly stuff. I haven’t been Dolly to you in decades. Mama will still do just fine.”