Chapter 20 Violet
Violet
Colt and I had settled into a comfortable routine over the last few days.
He didn’t even try to get me to stay at home, just smiled as I got up every morning when his alarm went off—which was always at an ungodly hour—and I always felt his eyes lingering on me as I went into the bathroom to get ready.
The Sheriff’s Department has actually been the perfect place for me to work. I wasn’t alone with my thoughts any more. Colt was there, forcing me to take breaks, still giving me my injections, and distracting me occasionally with a question about the pregnancy or the baby.
And at the end of the day, he’d slip his hand over mine, and we’d stay like that until we got back to the ranch. The little touches—his hand on mine, a grasp of my elbow to steady me, his fingers brushing over where the baby last kicked—felt more intimate than sharing a bed together.
Which had become the norm. I couldn’t deny him the time with his hands on my belly, enjoying our son’s midnight shenanigans.
And selfishly, I couldn’t deny myself the relief that washed over me every time his arms wrapped around me.
I knew I was safe, and that was something I hadn’t felt in a very long time.
“You know I’m going to get my ass handed to me for this—taking the interim sheriff’s pregnant wife away from the office for some fried chicken.” Nate shook his head as he pulled the SUV into the parking lot of Dolly’s.
“Colt shouldn’t have left his pregnant ex-wife on her own at dinner time then, should he?
” I laughed. It wasn’t his fault. Something was happening in Lark Lake that he had to support.
I told him to go, but I also didn’t expect it to run into dinner.
The baby wanted fried chicken, and it was one of those things where I was about to sit on the floor and cry if I didn’t get some.
“I’ll totally fall on my sword for you. He knows I’ve been dying for this all day.
Besides, I’m getting some for everyone back at the station. We’ll be back before he even notices.”
“You are nothing but trouble. I just got off of desk duty,” he mumbled under his breath. I laughed as I unlatched my seat belt.
By the time Nate came around the front of the vehicle, I was quietly shutting my door.
“My God, it’s like you want me to get fired! You should have waited for me,” he scolded me.
“You’re awfully jumpy. You know Colt is just a big teddy bear, don’t you?”
He looked at me like I was growing a second head. “Yeah, sure. The man definitely gives off teddy bear vibes. Come on, let’s go get your chicken before you decide to run into traffic just for fun.”
I laughed, grabbing my belly so it wouldn’t shake. Out of all the sensations and feelings in pregnancy, understanding what the stories meant when they said “Santa’s belly shook like a bowl full of jelly” was something I truly did not enjoy.
“Are you going to let me get the door for you, or would you like to just run through the glass?” Nate groaned.
“I would love for you to get the door for me.”
He nodded, stepping up to grab the door for a family coming out before ushering me in with an enthusiastic sweep of his hand. He really had been such a hoot to rile up.
“Vi!” Much to my surprise, Jessie and Hawk sat at a booth right off the entrance of the diner.
“Go say hi,” Nate encouraged. “I’ll put the order in at the counter.”
“Are you sure?”
“I can keep an eye on you from there.”
I smiled as I turned to walk towards the booth.
“Hey, you two. Where’s Beckett?” I asked.
Hawk laughed. “Mae and Stone scooped him up right out of Jessie’s arms when she brought him in to say hi at the end of work, and they refused to give him back to us until after dinner.”
Jessie reached over and picked a french fry off of Hawk’s plate, popping it into her mouth. “I won’t say no to a few hours of kid-free time, especially now that he’s not attached to my boobs for hours at a time!”
“Ouch. I don’t know if I’m looking forward to that.”
Jessie shrugged. “You get used to it. But there’s nothing wrong with bottle feeding if you want to do that instead. Oh, I just got so excited that next year, both our sons will be running around here like wild little things.”
I placed my hand on my belly. “You think he’ll be walking before he’s one?”
Hawk laughed. “We’re still debating if it’s the Ford genes or the Morgan genes that made Beckett so rambunctious, but every time I see one of Jessie’s brothers up on a horse, I’m certain it was her genetics that programmed him to be so wild and carefree.
No doubt Colt’s DNA will instill that in your little one, too. ”
“Got it.” I sighed. “Start panicking now.”
“There’s no way Colt is the less protective parent out of the two of you.” Jessie pointed the end of another french fry at me. “Remember when you took me to swim in the creek and Colt flipped out on us?”
I laughed. “God, yes! He was always such a worrywart. You know what…good. I’ll happily let him take on that anxiety. I’ve had so much just trying to get through this pregnancy.”
“Speaking of my brother…Where is he? I’m surprised he let you out of his sight.”
“He’s still in Bell Ridge, got called out of the office for something. Not sure what’s going on, but I sent him a text and told him Deputy Jones was coming with me to secure dinner. I’m dying for your mom’s fried chicken and coleslaw. We’re going to order some for everyone at the station tonight.”
Jessie’s eyes went wide. “He’s going to be mad when he realizes you left.”
“He can’t get too mad. I could have Deputy Jones take me home. He made your poor husband spend hours the other day installing a security system in the house. What good is it if I can’t rely on it?”
“True.” Jessie picked up another french fry off her plate, dipping it into her vanilla milkshake before biting into it. That combo sounded divine, and the baby rolled, clearly in agreement.
“We’re almost done. Why don’t you sit with us while you wait for Duke to package it all up for you?”
“No, no, I don’t want to interrupt kid-free time. You two enjoy the end of your meal and I’ll just drool over the dessert display.”
“Actually, I was going to come over to talk to you and Colt tonight about the security system stuff at your dad’s cabin, but if you’re here now, we might as well go over it.” Hawk waved to the opposite side of the booth.
I looked at Jessie, who was smiling and nodding.
“Okay.”
I sat down on the seat, barely fitting between it and the table. Jessie laughed, clearly aware of my awkward struggle.
“God, I don’t miss those days.”
“I feel like I don’t fit anywhere anymore,” I admitted as I turned to Hawk.
“Were you able to get the system installed at my parents’ place?”
“We were. I wanted to let you know that we used the same codes as the one we put in at Colt’s. The only people who have them are you, Colt, Stone, and myself. I’m sure Colt will tell the family, too, but that’s up to you guys.”
I nodded. “That’s great. Thank you. I feel awful about what happened there. I haven’t even been able to wrap my mind around telling my dad about it.”
Jessie’s hand slid across the table and covered mine. “It was a complete violation of your personal space.”
I bit the inside of my cheek. “I know it’s gross that someone went through my things and did…that…to them, but I don’t understand why they had to ruin the baby’s things, too.”
“What do you mean?” Jessie asked.
“I haven’t really let myself buy anything. I…Well it seems silly, but I’m scared of tempting fate. Like if I allow myself to be too excited, he won’t make it.”
“Vi…”
I waved my hand in front of my face. “Like I said, it’s silly. Honestly. I did allow myself to buy things. A pack of diapers. A sleep suit. Practical things, you know?”
Jessie nodded.
“I did get one little thing that wasn’t just for the sake of being practical. A soft blanket with little horses on it.” Colts. I bought it because the horses had reminded me of my husband.
“That’s lovely.”
“It was. Whoever was there that night found it on the rocking chair in my room, and they cut it up. I don’t think Colt wanted to tell me, but I’d asked about it specifically, and he couldn’t lie. The thing was destroyed.”
“Can you order another one?” Hawk asked.
I shook my head. “I wish. It was vintage, from the year Colt and I were born. I might be able to save some of it, make it into a new quilt one day.”
“I think that’s a great idea.”
I looked over at Nate, who was accepting large brown paper bags from the cook.
“Oh, I have to scoot. I’m supposed to be paying for that.” I excused myself from the table and walked over to help Nate with the bags.
“Violet, absolutely not.”
“I can carry something.”
“No. I don’t want to get fired.”
“Colt wouldn’t—”
Nate pinned me with a stare so ridiculous all I could do was smile and sigh. “Fine. Give me a second to pay and we can head back to the station.”
“All taken care of, doll.” The server at the register smiled as she handed me the receipt.
I glared at Nate, who had the audacity to laugh.
“Come on, everyone knows you don’t let the pregnant person pay for food. That’s one of the perks. Let’s get this food back to the station before it gets cold. You can scowl at me all the way back if you want.”
I’d grown up with Colt’s little brothers driving me up a wall like they were my own—Nate reminded me a lot of them.
Jessie and Hawk stood up just as I turned, taking the smallest bag off the counter with a huff.
I smiled as Jessie walked over to me, waving at the woman behind the counter before looping her arm through mine.
“Oh, we parked right by each other! That’s fun!” Jessie stopped walking as soon as we got to the parking lot, wrapping her arms around me and squeezing tightly. My head was suddenly stuffy and my eyes burned. Damn hormones. “Send me a text when you make it home later, okay?”
“What a good mama bear you are,” I joked as I tried to cover the sniffle that escaped.
She laughed, shaking her head at me. “It’s just payback for all the times you forced me to stay home with you and Colt so I wouldn’t be out drunk in a field somewhere with my friends.”
That made me snort. “God. You’ll be exactly the same way when Beckett gets to be that age. Make sure you give him a cuddle for me tonight.”
“Of course.”
“Bye, guys.” I waved as I turned to Nate’s patrol vehicle. I heard the locks release before I walked to the door he had opened. But a piece of paper on his windshield caught my attention.
Wasn’t it illegal for people to solicit that way? I thought I’d read something in the news. Certainly not a great idea to leave it on a Deputy’s patrol—
I dropped the bag of food, and the ground spun as I tried to comprehend what I was looking at. If my hands would stop shaking, I might be able to convince myself it wasn’t what I was seeing. Dark dots danced at the edge of my vision, and I heard someone in the distance gasp.
Or was that me? It was hard to tell with the panic swelling in my body. Cold sweat dotted my skin as my stomach flipped. Oh, I was going to be sick.
I turned, my eyes locking on Jessie and Hawk as they walked back towards me with a million questions written on their faces. Nate was asking me something, but the ringing in my ears was too loud.
I held out the paper to him, and then everything went black.