Chapter Nineteen
Blue
I sat on the folding chair in the corner of the room and watched her sleep.
Blonde hair fanned against my pillow, and a nipple peeked out from beneath the sheet draping her body. Ruby kisses marred the pale skin of her full tits. I’d marked her as mine. I’d left my scent on her, and she’d left her scars on me. Her nails had scored my back, and her pussy had claimed my cock.
My phone vibrated with a text.
Rogue: Ready?
I stared at the single word. No, I wasn’t ready to face the fucker who’d put me through hell. He’d destroyed my life, and I’d crumbled with it.
Until her.
Did I wake her up and let her know I was leaving? Or did I come back to her, hopefully a man who’d finally been able to walk away from his past?
Blue: I’m ready.
Rogue: Fifteen minutes.
I crossed to the bed, stretched out beside her, and rested my head on the pillow next to her. There was no one else for me.
“It was always you,” I whispered and gently combed my fingers through her hair, filtering it away from her face. Soft breaths lifted her chest. I tugged on the sheet, exposing more of her body. The cooler air pebbled her nipples. I grazed my knuckles across one of the cherried tips.
Something warm and unfamiliar stirred inside me. This beautiful woman wanted my hands on her. My calloused fingertips trailed along her sternum, stilling at the beat of her heart beneath her warm, silken skin.
I traced the dip at the base of her throat and followed the stretch of tendon. I’d left my mark here, too. I circled the darkening bruises on her neck. Maybe there was more Heller in me than I thought because I was feeling extremely territorial over this woman— and she loved me .
My gaze lifted to her face. A soft smile found her mouth, and her sleepy eyes stared at me.
“I have to go.” Just saying the words had darts of terror piercing my chest. I’d planned to go to my grave never seeing Carl again. But I’d expected to already be six feet under. I’d stood on the edge of that wall, wanting to jump, and never understanding why I couldn’t. Another fucking failure. But now I had to believe something bigger had to know she was waiting for me. “I don’t want to see him.”
Moisture filled her eyes. “I know.”
I caught a tear on my thumb. “I’m scared.”
“I know,” she said again, this time spoken even softer. She cradled my cheek, and I leaned into her touch. “He can’t hurt you anymore.”
Maybe not physically, but he still had the power to fuck with my head.
She slid in, pressing her body against mine. Those tendrils of fear began to unravel. I gathered her closer, banding my arms around her. I closed my mouth over hers, kissed her with everything I had inside me. “Will you wait here for me?”
No matter what happened, I needed her.
She pressed a soft kiss to my lips. “Forever.”
***
The light behind the altar cast long shadows in the chapel.
Bullet checked the magazine, the slide, and safety, then he handed me the 9mm handgun. “Unregistered, unmarked, cleaned, and any expelled bullets or casings untraceable back to us.”
I shoved the gun into the inside pocket of my cut to carry along with the seven-inch fixed blade strapped to my thigh.
Cruz tugged on heavy duty, nitrile gloves before handling his weapon. Once we were armed, we fired up our bikes, and rolled out of the MC.
The sun was just cresting the horizon. The morning was crisp and still quiet. But my head was buzzing. On the ride across town, I thought about what I would say to him. I wasn’t going to relive history. What was the point of confronting him when he wasn’t going to admit to shit or have a fucking ounce of remorse.
I didn’t need an apology. I needed the punishment to fit the crime, and I was going to take back what he stole from me by destroying the evidence.
Our bikes rumbled into the large parking lot. We stayed in tight formation to the left side of the building. There were already a few dozen cars in the section of the lot. The stripes on the ground were painted bright green, marking the area for employees of the telemarketing company in the adjacent building.
Bullet had one of his whores doing surveillance work from the inside of D&W. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’d fucked the security guard to get the blind spots on the property.
“No cuts.” Rogue took off his leather vest, carefully rolled it, and shoved it into the saddle bag on his bike. He stuffed his gun into the waistband of his jeans, then covered it with his shirt. “This shit can’t come back on the club.”
Bullet did the same, then he pointed his finger at Cruz. “I don’t need to give you a warning, prospect. That you’re here, and that you left a dead dealer in a tub for Blue, is enough to tell me you know that the patch means brotherhood. I already have our prez on my ass over Kodiak. Only, his fuckup was not going to Blade first about Kiss.”
I stuffed my gun into the back of my jeans. “Kodiak’s mistake was calling Kiss a Crawler cunt.” We started toward the building. “If he does it again, he’ll be snorting strychnine off Scarlett’s ass.”
Bullet laughed and took the threat in stride. “Scarlett doesn’t work for me anymore. But you’re right. Brothers don’t talk shit on another brother’s old lady.”
I smirked at Bullet. Kiss was my old lady. One day, I’d marry her. Maybe even put some babies in her belly.
We approached the building. Bullet rested a hand on my shoulder.
“Don’t worry. Kodiak knows he fucked up. Sometimes, it takes more than words to break away from our past.”
No shit. It’s why I had a gun at my back, a knife at my thigh, and why I was choking on my fucking fear.
According to the directory on the wall, the building housed D&W offices .
Bullet produced a keycard for the elevator. “I owe Jinx. She has a date with the security guard for Friday night, but she lifted this.”
Cruz chuckled, and I smiled.
Rogue stayed quiet, leaning against the brass rail inside the elevator.
In the years since I’d been in the building, the place had changed. The walls had gone from light gray to taupe, and the carpeting had been replaced with faux wood laminate.
Cruz stood next to me. Bullet and Rogue were fighters, but there was something about Cruz’s presence that took the edge off my anxiety. He had my back.
The elevator door opened, and we stepped out into the foyer. There were offices both to the left and to the right. Some of the doors were open, with light spilling into the hall.
“Carl’s office was this way.” I led us to the left to the double doors at the end of the hall. Vertical blinds, partially closed, concealed the interior. With his gloved hand, Bullet twisted the knob. The handle clicked.
Once inside, Rogue finished closing the blinds. Cruz immediately crossed the room to the desk.
I’d been in this office a thousand times. The furniture had changed, but the same sick feeling churned in my gut. I could feel him in the room.
“This is for when you find what we’re looking for.” Rogue pulled a slip of paper from his pocket. “Email addresses for FBI cybercrime, district attorney, state attorney general, and crime tip.”
Cruz slid into Carl’s chair and pivoted to the computer. He hit a couple buttons, and the computer monitor exited sleep mode .
“Leaving his computer on all night is going to shorten the life of his system.” He laughed and hit a couple of keystrokes.
I could smell Carl’s aftershave as I walked the perimeter of the room. The hairs on the back of my neck prickled. Thank fuck Kiss’s scent still lingered in my nose. If I focused, I could recall the taste of her kiss, the feel of her hands, the fucking warmth of her pussy. She was my secret armor against a hard fall from a fucked up life.
Shelves lined one of the walls. I was drawn to the family photos. The first photo was like a punch to the chest, transporting me to the past. I could almost hear my sister’s laughter from the smile on her face.
Jalen and Cara. Married. And they looked happy. Not surprising since they were at the happiest fucking place on the planet.
The burn of bile crawled up my throat. My brows furrowed as I fought the emotion filling my eyes. She had a kid. I assumed the little boy holding her hand was her child. He was young, maybe three, and he wore a pair of Mickey Mouse ears.
“Blue?”
I turned at Cruz saying my name. “All I’m seeing are business spreadsheets, his calendar, and typical program fodder. Customer relationship management, email marketing, time management. Accounting. Boring stuff. And nothing that’s going to get us receipts on the sick shit he’s into.”
“What do you need?” Bullet leaned against the desk and lit a cigarette. Carl hated cigarette smoke. The former athlete professed to treat his body like a temple. He tried to convince me it should be worshipped as one, forcing me to my knees, shoving his cock —
“Blue.”
I snapped my gaze to Rogue. “You’re good, man. Dates. Names. Give Cruz something to search on.”
“I haven’t been around for six years.”
“This system isn’t that old,” Cruz said. “A year or two at the most.”
My heart pounded and sweat soaked my shirt. “Can I have a cigarette?”
Rogue arched a brow. I didn’t smoke cigarettes, just weed. Still, he tapped one out of his pack and handed it to me. I clamped it between my lips. The metal wheel of his zippo echoed through the quiet of the room. I inhaled. Cigarettes tasted like shit, but I drew the smoke into my lungs and exhaled, defiling his fucking office, defiling my temple of a body.
Cruz clicked a few more keys. “What a fucking douche? He uses a password manager. Anyone with a year of IT could access this shit.”
That left us three out. Good thing we had Cruz.
“He has some older files in here, but nothing we want. Although, I think the IRS might find this second set of numbers interesting.” He continued to open folders. “There’s a shortcut on his desktop. It has to be an external drive. I’m getting an error message when I try to access it.” Cruz started pulling open desk drawers. “Check the shelves. Look for a drive. It could be as small as a stick of gum, a pack of cigarettes or as big as a shoebox.”
I stabbed my cigarette into the dirt of the potted tree in the corner, twisted off the cherry and ash, and stuffed the butt into my pocket. Then I opened the bottom cabinets of the bookcase. Rogue stood on a chair and checked on top. Nothing .
The office double door handle turned. Rogue and Bullet moved to the rear of the room, out of the line of sight of whoever was coming in and pulled their weapons. Cruz leaned back in the chair and propped his feet on the desk, as if waiting for Carl to join the party.
I didn’t know what to do with myself. Inside, I quivered with the force of the big one, the earthquake capable of complete devastation.
The door swung open.
“Who the fuck are you?” The voice, the tone, the fear. “Get out of my office before I call the cops.”
Carl Douglas dropped a leather satchel next to the door and strode across the room, glaring at Cruz. Same thick dark hair, only now with more gray at the temples. Same fit body from swimming and lifting at the gym. Same fucking style. Suits with tapered legs, expensive fucking shoes, and suit coats that stretched across his broad shoulders.
Carl didn’t need to turn around for me to know the top button on his dress shirt would be undone and the pressed cotton would conform to the muscles of his chest.
A tsunami of emotions washed over me, stealing my breath, and nearly taking me to my knees. Instead, I slid my trembling hands into my pockets. “You don’t want to do that.”
Carl swung around, his gaze narrowing on me. “Brantley? What are you doing here?” His gaze focused behind me to Bullet and Rogue leaning against the bookcase. “What do you want?” His tone took on a more nervous edge. Not surprising. Rogue and Bullet made an impression, and it was one that begged a guy like Carl to fuck with them just so they could pound his head into a curb .
Cruz shifted his feet to the floor, drawing Carl’s attention again. “Where is your F drive?” Cruz twirled his knife in his gloved fingers, then stabbed the point into the desk and carved the tip of the blade into the dark wood.
“I’m calling the police.” Carl jerked his phone from his pocket. Face recognition unlocked the screen.
Bullet crossed the room, closed the door, and twisted the lock.
“You can call the police once we talk.” I took his phone from him and handed it to Rogue. “Check his history, his photos, his messages. Sit down,” I said to Carl, pointing to the chair next to him.
Rogue walked around the desk and gave the phone to Cruz.
“Why don’t we just back it up to your computer,” Cruz said. “We’ll want receipts for anything we find.”
“That’s my private business,” Carl stammered.
Cruz laughed. “Not for long.” He opened desk drawers and found a cord to attached the phone to the computer. “The F drive?” Cruz asked again.
Carl didn’t speak.
I slammed my boot against Carl’s lower leg, taking out his knee. He cried out, stumbled, and caught himself on the chair.
“I said to sit the fuck down.”
His eyes widened, and his hands white-knuckle gripped the arms of the chair as he lowered into it.
“What do you want?” His gaze darted between the four of us. “We can talk,” he said to me. “Are you in trouble? Do you need money?”
I pulled the gun from the back of my jeans, then I sat on the desk in front of him. “What do you think I want, Carl?” I rubbed my thumb along the slide of the gun. “ I’ll give you one guess. Get it wrong, and I’ll put a bullet through your head.”
I lifted my gaze to Bullet. Fucker wore a smile like a jackal.
“If you lie to me, I’ll cut your tongue from your mouth.” I released a bored sigh. “What would you like to start with? What I want? Or what my friend asked you for?”
“Brantley—”
“Nah. Keep my name out of your mouth. I’ll make it easy. I want the photos and the videos.”
“I don’t have them.”
“Fuck you!” I grabbed the gun and pointed it at Carl’s head. “I want the fucking photos.”
He raised his trembling hands. The hiss of water filled the silence. Wetness soaked the front of Carl’s trousers, and the pungent scent of urine saturated the air.
I slid my finger onto the trigger. “We both know I have enough reasons. Don’t give me anymore, or you won’t survive this.”
He audibly swallowed, his neck flexing over his Adam’s apple. “My briefcase.”
Bullet grabbed the leather bag and dumped the contents on the desk.
Cruz fished through his papers. “There isn’t a flash drive or external here.” He flipped papers to the side.
“My keys.” Cruz found the keyring.
Carl owned dealerships. The large silver alloy fob, with D&W etched into the side, hid a secret USB port. Cruz removed it from the keys and plugged it into the computer.
Tears swam in Carl’s eyes. “Are you going to kill me? ”
I lowered the gun. “I think you deserve it.”
“For what?”
A sneer twisted my lips. “Are you fucking serious? For the fucked up shit you did to me. For the fucked up shit you said to me. For the fucked up shit you made me do to you!”
“Not so loud,” Rogue said. “We don’t want anyone else at our little party.”
I inhaled a calming breath and raked my fingers through my hair.
“Don’t act innocent in front of your friends,” Carl said. “You wanted what we had. You came on to me.”
I stilled at his words.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he spat. “You were a needy little shit that liked dick.”
I didn’t think. I reacted, lunging from the desk, and punching him in the face. When my fist connected with his mouth, blood burst from the split in his lip. I threw a second punch, catching his tooth. A crunch sounded, and my skin tore.
Carl moaned in agony. “You broke my tooth.” More blood flooded out of his mouth.
I spit in his face. “I was fucking ten years old the first time you touched me. You ruined my life. Now, I’m going to ruin yours.”
Rogue came up next to me, wrapped his gloved fingers around Carl’s neck, and squeezed. With his other hand, he used tissues from the desk to wipe my spit from Carl’s face, then he grabbed the hanging tooth, twisted it, and ripped it from his mouth. “If we kill him, we don’t want to leave any DNA.”
Unable to breathe, Carl’s face turned deep red. His eyes bulged .
Rogue leaned into him. “Show some fucking gratitude. I’d have you choking on your balls by now. Blue—I mean Brantley doesn’t want you dead. He just wants the photos. You might want to think about cooperating before he decides to let me have you. Do you want me to tear you apart?”
“He’s a big guy,” Cruz said and laughed as he continued to open and close files. “You should let him. I want to watch you bleed.”
“I’ll fuck you up so good,” Rogue whispered and released Carl’s neck. “You might even like it.”
Carl gasped and clutched at his throat.
I glanced over my shoulder to Cruz. “What’s on the drive?”
There was no humor left in Cruz’s face. His lips turned down at the corners, his jaw clenched, and his brows furrowed. “Shit I don’t want to know about.”
“It’s none of your fucking business,” Carl said, wiping bloody slobber from his mouth. “It’s always consensual. If those guys didn’t want it, I wouldn’t be attracted to them.”
Words I’d heard before, words to convince him what he wanted wasn’t wrong.
Bullet pulled a cigarette from his pack. “Those aren’t guys. They’re kids.”
“Age of consent is in the mind,” Carl rasped. “Ask Brantley.” He glared at me and tilted his head to the side. “Did you tell them about how you’d moan as you sucked me off? I never had to beg you to offer up that ass to me.”
“Who are you trying to convince?” I asked him and glanced at the three guys who’d brought me to hell to make sure Carl burned.
“Blue, what do you want me to do?” Cruz asked .
I moved behind the desk with Cruz, and Rogue picked up my gun and took position in front of Carl.
“He’s the only reason you’re not being fucked with a baseball bat,” Rogue said.
Cruz stood, giving me his chair. “I only looked at the first few photos,” he said. “It’s your folder. But there are other folders. A lot of fucking folders.”
I sank into the chair, no longer under the delusion I was the only one. Cruz turned his back to the computer but stayed next to me. My hand trembled as I opened the folder.
In an instant, the past slammed into me with the velocity and impact of a meteor. A global killer, a destroyer. Here was all the evidence that he’d broken me.
Pressure built in my chest and an increasing drone of noise clamored through my mind. Using the mouse, I clicked through the photos. Delete. Delete. Delete.
The pictures disappeared from the folder but still lived in my mind. I banged my fist against the desk. Delete. Delete.
Cruz rested a hand on my shoulder. “You don’t have to look at them.” He reached around me, tapped the keyboard to close the folder, and deleted it.
“Will it be retrievable?”
“Not if we take the thumb drive with us. We can move the other files to his desktop. And there’s no way he can remove the footprint once we upload them to the cloud.”
“Delete them all,” Carl said. “This can all go away.”
“Nah. Next time you need a boyfriend, you can get someone from D-cell.” Bullet leaned against the wall and crossed his legs at the ankle. “You ever been to prison?” He plucked another cigarette from his pack. “ Probably not. Let me give you some advice. All you need to know are the three f’s. Fight. Fuck. Or hit the fence. For you, all fit and shit.” He blew a stream of smoke from his nostrils. “You’ll be popular with the inmates.”
“Brantley, listen, we remember our relationship differently.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Rogue said.
I opened each folder before moving it to the desktop. But there were dozens. Some only had one or two pictures. I clicked on a folder, and the screen exploded with images. I shoved away from the computer. It was as if time moved in slow motion. One by one, the images loaded.
Jalen in superhero little boy underwear. Jalen in the bath. Jalen on his hands and knees with his bottom to the camera. His life in photos. My best friend. I scanned to the last photo. Faded jeans hung from his thin hips. His hair hung to his shoulders. Long hair got the girls. Everything was the best friend I remembered, except his broken expression.
He had to be sixteen. About the time I’d told my sister. About the time he turned his back on me. When the truth had unleashed a monster. I closed my eyes, but the tears still spilled onto my cheeks.
“Who is it?” Cruz quietly asked.
“Jalen.” I could barely speak the word. Everything inside me shattered.
Everything I’d believed had been a lie.
I wanted to ask why me? What had he done to Jalen? Why were there no more pictures after this one? But I was afraid of the answers. And they didn’t really matter. Like me, Jalen was just trying to survive.
“Delete the file,” I said to Cruz .
I shifted my gaze from Carl to the photo of my sister, Jalen, and their little boy.
“What’s his name?”
Carl’s jaw clenched.
“What’s his name?” I demanded.
“His name is Matthew. We call him Matt. Does that make you happy?”
For reasons I’d explore later, it did. Maybe giving their kid my middle name was a way of saying he was sorry. Because Jalen had known the truth but lied for his father. Lied because the same shit was happening to him.
Cruz leaned back in the chair. “What do you want me to do?”
Bullet stabbed his cigarette out in the tree, pocketed the butt, and leaned over the desk. “You’re the IT expert. You tell me. How do we get this shit to the authorities?”
“Listen,” Carl said. “You don’t want to do that.”
“Oh, I do,” Cruz said. “Once I disseminate your collection to the appropriate law enforcement agencies, I’m going to make sure everyone on both your business and personal contact list knows you’re a sick fuck.”
Carl choked and babbled more excuses. “Those guys don’t want their sexual history out in the public. Brantley, think about the others.”
“Sexual history?” I snapped. “You’re a predator, looking at a five-year minimum on each count.” I narrowed my eyes, glaring at him. “Fuck you. I’m going to sleep well at night knowing you’re going to die in prison.”
“You think you can walk away from this,” he said, moaning as he staggered to his feet.
“Sit the fuck down.” Rogue forced him back into his chair .
“Nothing changes,” Carl continued. “I’ve lived in your head since you were a boy, and I’ll be there until you’re dead.”
“Probably. But instead of being afraid because of the shit you’ve done. I’ll smile knowing your life is fucked. You lose your money, your family, your fucking freedom. And I walk away knowing you’ll never touch Matt.”
And I could live with that. Jalen and my sister would never know what I’d done for them, but that was okay. Jalen hadn’t been able to protect me. We were just kids. But I could protect his secret, and I sure as fuck could keep Carl from ever having the opportunity to groom my sister’s kid.
“We need to wrap this up,” Bullet said. In another few minutes, the majority of employees would be filtering in for work. “Write the email.”
“To my friends and family,” Cruz said as he typed. “I’m a sick fuck.” He glanced at Carl and smiled. “You wouldn’t say that.” He hit the delete button then started again. “I’m writing to you because I’ve used threats and intimidation to hide the vile and heinous things I’ve done. Today, I have begun the process of making amends to my victims. A package has been delivered to the authorities documenting my crimes.”
“Sounds good,” Rogue said. “Keep going.”
“I’ll be surrendering myself to the appropriate authorities. I won’t make excuses. The things I’ve done, I’ve done without thought to the people I’ve hurt. I’m not asking for forgiveness.” Cruz’s fingers tapped along the keyboard. “To my family. I’m sorry for subjecting you to the scrutiny and accusations that will certainly come from the exposure of my crimes. I am the only one to blame. ”
I glared at Carl. “We’re going to send that email to everyone you know, everyone who has ever had contact with you personally or professionally. Your life is ruined. How does it feel to go from being honored at the City Gala awards to know you’re never going to take a shit in private again? Everyone will know you’re a sick fucking monster.”
Cruz spun on his chair. “Shit’s about to hit the fan.” He hit the enter key on the keyboard. “You have about five minutes before everyone in this building is going to know the truth. I’d give it a couple hours, and your bank accounts will be frozen, and the cops are going to be at your door.”
Blood continued to trickle from Carl’s mouth. His head dropped as reality began to weigh on him.
“Let’s go,” I said. I didn’t want to spend another moment breathing the same air as him. Fuck him. He deserved everything coming to him.
Cruz pushed away from the desk. Bullet followed next. Rogue stood over Carl, then dropped to a squat in front of him. “I would’ve preferred to take you to the barn. I would have cut your balls off and made you swallow them. I would’ve made you scream in terror. Scream in ways the biggest, meanest guys in prison never could. But I gotta respect my brother. He doesn’t want your blood on his hands. He’s already given up too much of himself to the fucking hell you put him through.”
Carl lifted his head. “I loved him.”
“He hates your fucking guts. I think he’ll sleep better at night knowing you’re dead.” Rogue stood and set my untraceable gun on the desk. “There’s only one way out of the shit you’re in. ”
He turned, strode toward the door, and we walked out together. A couple of people peered out of their office doors, but they weren’t watching four guys heading toward the elevator. Instead, they stared down the hall to the closed double doors.
“Thank you,” I said, meaning the simple but profound words for all of them. Cruz for talking me off the roof. Rogue for not just having my back, but also for fighting for Kiss. And Bullet for never giving up on me, even when shit was rough between us.
I didn’t need hellfire and a rain of bullets as recompense for what Carl had done to me. He’d suffer under his own undoing. Wealth and status had protected him, but that shit couldn’t save him now.
I hoped he did pull the trigger. Dead would be easier on the people he’d hurt. As for me, I was fucking done. All I wanted to do was to get back to my girl and back to the Hellers because that was where I belonged. Heller Raiders were the only family I needed.
Bang!