Epilogue
Kiss
Blue stood at the refreshment table and ate cookies with Georgia. Blue had reminded me that sobriety was a fragile thing. What mattered was that Georgia was back on the program, starting over, but recognizing she had to ask for help when she needed it.
Brad was her sponsor. Sponsor being code for boyfriend. At least, I thought that’s where they were headed. He brought her to the meetings on the back of his bike. Tonight, Brad had popped a baby wheelie with her on the back, holding him tight, being a spicy as fuck backpack.
They were figuring it out, both smiling, and both sober. As long as she was clean, his parents were letting her crash in their RV in the driveway of their house.
We all still talked about Janie, almost like she was still here with us. Maybe she was because we were all still together. Talking about her helped keep perspective. Sober friends, sober activities, and being selfish. I wish she could have been a little more selfish. I would’ve liked to have known her better.
I walked up to Blue. Without a pause in conversation, his arm snaked around my waist. God, I loved this man. I loved him hard. But it was the good kind of love, the kind that made you stronger. The kind you dreamed about and never thought you’d find. The kind you didn’t feel worthy of when you were high and strung out. But sober…the kind fairytales were made of.
“Bruh, there are assholes everywhere,” Blue said to Ryatt.
I smiled at Georgia as Blue, Ryatt, and Brad discussed the pros and cons of planning a trip to Daytona for bike week.
Blue’s palm slid onto my hip, then barely slipped under my shirt until his thumb grazed my flesh. I loved that he had to be touching me all the time. I loved even more that he wanted my hands on him. Some things hadn’t changed. He was still warming his cock in me every night.
And I still wasn’t ready to leave Sully’s place. I needed to know I had a safe place to be, away from the weed and alcohol in the MC. I was always going to be an addict, but I never wanted to use again. But there was nothing wrong with being addicted to Blue’s dick. What could I say? I loved being his Heller whore.
Other parts of our life were even better.
For the first week after Carl Douglas killed himself in his downtown office, the news had reported on every dark secret he’d had. Victims were being identified and some families had filed civil lawsuits against the assets of D&W Group.
Blue wanted nothing to do with Carl or his money. He was being selfish. It wasn’t a bad word when you were in recovery. It was about avoiding triggering people and situations.
“Kiss.” Blue grabbed my attention, squeezed my hip, and spun me around .
Sully winked as he approached. “Hi, peanut.” He pulled me into a hug, kissed my cheek, then sidled me out of the way to get to the cookies.
Georgia laughed and pointed out her favorites.
A moment later, wearing Heller colors and making my insides feel warm and fuzzy, Jazzy and Rogue entered the meeting room. I’d invited them because I wanted them to know I wouldn’t have been able to get—and stay—clean without them.
I didn’t expect the two people with them.
Blue squeezed my hand.
“We told them we were coming to support you,” Jazzy said.
Levi stepped closer. “We won’t stay if you’re not comfortable with us being here.”
Tears swam in my eyes. “I want you here.”
Levi rushed into my arms and held me tight. “I’m so proud of you.”
I laughed as I cried. “I’m such a crybaby.”
“Eat a cookie. Just try it. It’ll make you feel good.”
I turned to Ryatt, ready to lay into him with a snappy comeback, but stopped. Something was wrong. I touched his arm.
He stared over my shoulder. A slight tremor quivered in his lips, and his neck flexed with a swallow. I turned to see what had his attention.
“Ryatt, these are my friends. Jazzy and Rogue. And Levi and Romeo—”
“Michael?” The one word was barely a whisper but caused an immediate reaction in Romeo. He brushed past me, grabbed onto Ryatt, and they embraced in a way I’d never seen Romeo hug anyone.
Silence settled around us. Blue pressed in close behind me, wrapping an arm around me. He reached for Levi with his other hand, lacing his fingers with hers. She stepped closer to us, leaning on Blue because we didn’t know what was happening. But it was intense. No one spoke.
Romeo’s eyes closed as Ryatt clung to him. When they parted, they both smiled.
“Fucking. Fuck.” Ryatt ran his fingers through his hair. “Fuck.”
Romeo laughed, his joker smile stretching wide across his pretty boy face. “Yeah. Fuck.”
Ryatt grinned at me. “This guy was the only good part of growing up in foster care.” He directed his gaze back to Romeo. “One day, I woke up, and you were gone.”
“I got pulled from that house of hell. Seven foster kids, and she hated every one of us. How long were you there?”
“Too long. But it doesn’t matter now. Fuck, Mike, I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.” Ryatt hugged Romeo again. When they parted, he tugged on the corner of Romeo’s cut. “Heller Raiders.”
Romeo introduced Ryatt to Levi. “We have a baby girl. She’s home with my mom.”
Ryatt lifted a brow.
“Yeah, dude. It took a while, but I got a good life now. And my mom is the only one who still calls me Michael.”
“I suppose you ride a Harley?”
Romeo’s brows pinched. “Is there anything else?”
“A bike with balls. Harleys are for old men and doctors.”
“Fuck you.” They both laughed.
Ansel walked to the podium at the front of the room .
“The meeting is about to start,” Ryatt said. “Find me after. We need to catch up.”
Romeo pulled me into a hug. “I’m proud of you.” He pressed a kiss to my head.
Jazzy squeezed my hand, and Rogue gave me one of his snarly smiles.
“I love you, peanut.” Sully filled a napkin with cookies, then he scurried after Jazzy.
Blue stayed with me, and we joined Brad, Ryatt, and Georgia. Over the weeks, we’d become creatures of habit, all sitting together in the corner. There was comfort in routine.
I glanced at my Heller family. It was still early days, but these were feel-good, sober days.
Blue rested his hand on my thigh.
“I love you,” I mouthed to him. He did the same back to me.
And I loved my meetings, and I loved my new job working for Bullet. I wasn’t a cam girl, although I wouldn’t mind watching a replay of the filthy things Blue did to me. But I cleaned Indulgence, which Bullet’s girls had playfully renamed Good Girl Studios.
Cleaning wasn’t glamourous, but it was perfect for me. I wasn’t alone while I worked. Bullet’s girls were good to me. And next week, I’d start cleaning the dance studio, too.
“Welcome.” Ansel called for everyone’s attention. Normally, I preferred morning meetings, but tonight was special. And not just because it was the friends and family night and mine were here to show their support.
But I was getting my thirty-days sober coin. Technically, I had my thirty days a couple of weeks ago. But I wanted tonight to be special. I wasn’t going to count anymore .
All that mattered was that I’d spent my last day high and miserable. I’d always remember my last day, shooting up in the bathroom and seeing what my addiction did to the man I loved. I’d forever think of that night as the night before I died.
As Ansel spent the first few minutes discussing upcoming events, the plate was passed around. Now I had money to contribute. I put a ten-dollar bill on the stack and passed it to Brad.
Blue took my hand in his. This was what sobriety looked like for me. Fucking beautiful.
And then it was my turn to share, I stood and walked to the front of the room. When Ansel placed the thirty-day coin in my hand, a surge of energy rushed through me. I closed my fingers over the coin, and the cool metal warmed in my palm.
I turned to speak, and the words I wanted to say died on my lips. As if the room faded to black, all I could see were the people at the back of the room. Tears filled my eyes. My uncle John sat next to Sully. A guarded smile found his lips.
I blinked back tears. “My name is Kiss, and I’m an addict.”
Get ready for the wild ride to continue with McKelle, Cruz, and Ryatt.
McKelle is a spicy, why choose, reverse harem smut-fest with a hot Heller, an impulsive troublemaker, and a feisty badass biker girl.
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