Chapter 4
Ben didn’t know what to do with himself at the Eco-Lodge party.
Gripping his beer, he stood near the food table, searching the crowd for his brother, Landon.
When Landon returned from carrying one of the Harper sisters next door, Ben raised a hand, hating himself for how unsociable he was in crowds.
But he’d just returned to Bluebell Cove after many years away.
He didn’t know how to talk to any of them about his past. He needed Landon.
“Hey, man,” Ben said as Landon sidled up to him, grabbing another beer from the cooler. “Nice work, saving the day.”
Landon shook his head. He was slightly pale, and Ben wondered if he’d tired himself out. “I don’t think Ivy’s being her kindest self at the moment,” he said finally.
Ben winced. Although he didn’t remember all the intricacies of the Harper family, he knew that siblings could be harsh to one another, that they could be the ones to point out your deepest flaws. He was grateful that his older brother, Landon, was not like this.
“Her name’s Wren, right?” Ben asked. Wren had been a few years younger than him in school, although he couldn’t remember ever talking to her.
Landon nodded and sipped his beer.
“Is she all right?”
“She is,” Landon said. “At least I think so. I know she had a health scare a couple of years back. I thought it was under control. But I don’t think they’ve heard from her in a while.”
“I hope everything’s okay.”
Ben didn’t know what else to say, so he scanned the crowd.
Most of the faces were familiar, although he couldn’t fully place them.
When a few of them tried to make eye contact with him, he returned his attention to Landon.
“Well, man, I think I’d better hit it. Early start tomorrow morning. Surgery.”
Landon raised his eyebrows. “What kind?”
“Golden retriever,” Ben said, remembering the soulful eyes of the beautiful dog named Reggie. He’d promised his owners that he could get Reggie through this cancer diagnosis, giving Reggie another few years of life, if not more. The dog was only eight.
“Man, I don’t know how you do it,” Landon said. “All I do is look through microscopes all day. But you deal with people and their most treasured friends.”
Ben laughed nervously. He didn’t always like to think of the intensity of his work.
He’d always adored animals, but sometimes being a veterinarian meant putting himself at the mercy of people’s wide-ranging emotions.
People were lonely and needed their animals.
The problem was, most cats only lived to be sixteen or seventeen, and dogs hardly reached that.
This meant that Ben had to give a lot of bad news. He had to help people say goodbye.
Sometimes those people took their anger and sorrow out on him. He couldn’t blame them, he supposed. Grief was irrational.
Ben walked the ten blocks back to his one-bedroom house, which he’d purchased last November after Landon had convinced him to leave Boston and return home.
“Man, my kids are getting old, and I need someone to hang out with,” Landon had said over the phone, laughing.
Of course, by that time, things were already serious with Celia, whom Landon was usually with.
But Ben had understood. Landon was worried about Ben. Landon thought he was lonely.
The truth was, Ben had been lonely in Boston.
He and Rina had divorced eight years ago, and although he’d dated around and even had a few semi-serious relationships, he’d never managed to find someone who filled his heart the way he needed.
He’d missed his brother, and he’d missed Maine.
He’d closed his veterinary business down and moved to Bluebell Cove, where he’d set up a brand-new veterinary clinic and begun to take clients immediately.
The very first woman who’d walked through the door, carrying her cat, had been his first-grade teacher back in the day.
This had put a smile on his face. He was home.
* * *
The following morning, Ben was ready and prepped for surgery at seven thirty sharp.
He was clear and focused, working together with his assistant to remove Reggie’s tumor.
Reggie was unconscious and looked so adorable, his eyes closed and his eyelashes long and soft and glinting.
Ben told himself not to think about how much Reggie was adored.
When the surgery was over, Ben had a brief tête-à-tête with Reggie’s owners, telling them that everything had gone well. “We’ll monitor him over the next few days,” he explained. “We’re confident that he’ll be able to go home by the end of the week.”
Reggie’s parents—owners, Ben meant—gushed with happiness and hugged each other. They were in their forties and childfree, so Reggie was their baby. They put every bit of love that they didn’t direct toward one another into him.
Ben took a breather for an early lunch, then prepared for an onslaught of appointments. He saw two kittens; he saw a snake; he saw a lizard; he saw three parrots who all had the same treatable disease.
He heard himself talking for hours on end about feeding schedules, the ointments each animal required for its sores, and the best tactics for its everyday care. All the owners looked at him as though he were the person they trusted more than their own human doctors.
Ben also liked analyzing why each person had chosen their particular animal.
The snake owner, for example, was a woman in her fifties who wore all purple and talked a lot about the Grateful Dead.
She liked to wear the snake around her neck, where it sometimes got tangled with her glasses chain.
The lizard guy was in his twenties and wanted to have a whole wall of cages to keep more species.
His plan was exciting to Ben, too. He had a lot of experience with reptiles, but they were rarer than your average cat and dog, so he always looked forward to seeing them.
By the time five o’clock rolled around, Ben was exhausted and ready to collapse. Maybe he could order food later and watch television. Perhaps he could push off cleaning the kitchen for another day. But that was when Landon texted, asking if he wanted to meet up for a beer.
LANDON: I feel like I was weird yesterday. Sorry about that. Let me make it up to you. You can tell me all about the surgery. And I want to ask for your advice on something.
BEN: Surgery went well! Nothing to report. Want to meet at Steffi’s?
Steffi’s was a German bar not far from Ivy’s flower shop.
Landon and Ben liked to frequent it because, number one, their father had gone there prior to his death, and number two, they had the cheapest and best German pilsners on tap.
Ben arrived a little after six and waited at the counter, perusing the food menu, till Landon arrived.
“You eating?” Landon asked, sliding onto the stool beside him.
“I’m starving,” Ben admitted. “Thinking about a schnitzel.”
“I’ll have one, too,” Landon said. He seemed jittery, rubbing his palms together. Ben wondered what he needed advice on. Landon was his older and practical brother. He always knew what to do.
They ordered their beers and food and raised their chins to watch the last of a soccer match, a rerun of Germany’s World Cup victory over Brazil.
How many years ago was that now? Ben had never really liked soccer, or any sport, but Landon liked everything that had to do with a ball, a goal, or a track.
He commented on some technique the team was good at, something Ben didn’t understand.
Then he turned to Ben and said, “I’m going to ask Celia to marry me. ”
For a split-second, Ben gaped at his brother, then clapped him on the shoulder and said, “Man, yes. That’s exactly what you should do.” No advice required, he thought.
Landon laughed and raised his pint. “I’ve been thinking about it all year. Now that we live together, it’s more of a formality, I guess. Maybe it’s silly to be nervous about it.”
“No. It’s not. It’s a symbol of something bigger than that,” Ben assured him.
“I think so, too. But I don’t want to be too sappy,” Landon said, laughing.
Ben sat back, remembering when his brother lost his first wife and how devastated he’d been.
Ben had worn a stiff suit to the funeral and not known what to say.
He’d sat beside him at this very bar, back then, and they’d drunk beer and watched television and not talked.
Ben had hoped that just being there would help. He thought maybe it had.
“You deserve it,” Ben said. “You’ve built something incredible with Celia. You should find a way to celebrate.”
Their food arrived. Ben raised his knife and fork and didn’t let himself wonder if he’d ever find someone to fall in love with. Other people’s happiness didn’t have to take away from your own, he knew. “How are you going to do it?” he asked.
“There’s a Harper family party this weekend,” Landon said. “I thought I might do it in front of her sisters and daughter?”
Ben chewed and swallowed a bite of schnitzel. “That’s brave of you.”
Landon laughed. “You don’t think I should do it then? Maybe it’s risky.”
“No, I mean, I think she’ll love it,” Ben said. “I just can’t imagine myself being so brave.”
“You should come,” Landon suggested. “I’d love a little moral support.”
Ben considered this. He knew Celia at this point, but he’d had very little contact with Ivy and Juliet, and he hadn’t spoken to Wren at all, obviously, as she’d only returned yesterday.
“It’ll be fun,” Landon said. “They always have the best food. Juliet’s boyfriend is Theo Maddox. He made all the food from yesterday.”
“I did love those tofu tacos,” Ben said. He liked to dabble in vegetarianism for obvious reasons, although he’d never fully committed. “It’s rare to get tofu to taste so good.”
“Right? He’s a master,” Landon said. “You know, they tried to shut down his restaurant last year because it was so slow, and now, it’s rare that you can even get a table. We have to call ahead a few days before and make Juliet reserve one for us.”
Ben laughed. From the sound of things, most of the Harper sisters had returned to Bluebell Cove and been endlessly successful, despite having been gone for so long.
He supposed he’d have things to talk to them about: what it was like to come back and what Bluebell Cove seemed like to an “outsider” who’d also grown up here.
“I’ll come for the food,” Ben said. “And to see you get all sappy.”
Landon lightly punched him on the arm. “I’ll try to keep the tears at bay.”
“You better,” Ben teased, laughing as he took another sip of beer.
Later, when Ben collapsed on the sofa at his place and turned on a TV show, he thought back to when he’d asked Rina to marry him.
He’d been achingly nervous, so much so that he hadn’t been able to eat much of their dinner.
They’d been away in Miami, soaking up some much-needed sun during the winter in Boston.
When he’d gotten down on one knee, Rina had gasped and thrown her hands over her mouth.
She’d looked at him like she loved him completely.
He would do anything to see that look again in someone’s eyes.
But he knew you couldn’t force something like that. It had to be organic. Maybe it would never happen for him again. He would have to find a way to be okay with that.