CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Luisa—
Carmen leans to change the song on my phone’s playlist. A second later, Ordinary comes out of my car speakers.
She begins humming along.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see her staring at me.
“It took me an hour to get my dad to calm down the other night. What happened when you went home?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Blue sure was something, wasn’t he? I watched from the window. The way he went after Ruiz and the way he shoved you behind him. That was hot. Made my heart melt a little for him. I want a man who’ll fight for me like that.”
“No, you don’t. You think you do, but my life is a mess.”
“It’s romantic.”
I wheel the car into a spot, and she suddenly realizes where I’ve stopped.
“What are we doing at the drugstore? You need some nail polish or something?”
“No.”
“Then what?”
“We’re getting a pregnancy test.”
Carmen’s mouth drops open. “No way.”
I nod, my eyes filling.
“Oh, honey.” Her arms go instantly around me. “You poor thing. I had no idea.”
I sniffle into her shoulder, my body shaking with my sobs.
She rubs my back and holds me for a long time. “How late are you?”
“Almost three weeks. I haven’t had a period since the first time I was with Blue. I didn’t even realize it’d been that long. God, I’ve been so stupid.”
“Calm down. We’ll figure this out. Where are you going to take it? Not in that restroom in there, are you?”
“I thought maybe I’d drive to the house Blue rented. I have a key.”
“What if he’s there?”
“He won’t be. He texted me earlier. They pulled out for Sturgis this morning.”
“Okay.” She opens her door, then grabs my arm. “Wait here. I’ll get it. I’m sure you don’t want to be seen in there.”
“Thank you.” I slump in relief.
For ten minutes, I fidget and check my rear-view mirror, my nerves shot. Finally, she gets back in the car with a bag.
“I didn’t know what kind to get, so I bought two.”
“Why would you buy two?”
“Because one said it was the most accurate and one said it was the easiest. Besides, I thought we might want to double-verify the results.”
I roll my eyes and back out.
As we pass the church, I grab Carmen’s hand. “Say a prayer for me.”
“Are you kidding? I’ve been praying all the way here.”
I make a turn and drive two blocks, then pull into the driveway, parking under the carport.
“So, this is the place,” Carmen murmurs, taking it in.
We climb out, and I key the door.
When we enter, she looks around like a looky-loo while I dump the boxes out on the dining table and read the backs.
After she’s checked out the place, she stops at the mantle and points at the painting.
“You did that, didn’t you?”
“How did you know?”
“It looks like your style. I remember it from art class.”
“I have a style?”
“Yeah. Kinda like that Georgia O’Keeffe lady. It’s really good.”
I return my attention to the box.
“Just get it over with,” Carmen says, coming to stand beside me.
Nodding, I take one test and go into the bathroom.
Before the results have time to show up, Carmen taps on the door.
I let her in, and we both stare at the test as two little blue lines materialize until there’s no denying it.
Carmen looks at me. “It’s positive.”
I cover my face. “What am I going to do?”
“Well, for starters, you’re going to calm down. It’s not the end of the world.”
“Easy for you to say.”
“The first thing you’re going to do is give yourself a few days to get used to the idea.”
“And then?”
“And then when Blue comes back, you’re going to tell him.”
“I can’t.”
“You have to.”
“How am I ever going to tell him? What would I say?”
“Well, I suppose you don’t have to say anything. Just leave the test and box on the counter.”
“Just let him find it?”
“You could get a little Harley onesie and give it to him,” she teases.
“Be serious.”
“Just sit down like an adult and tell him.” She stares at me. “How do you think he’ll react?”
“I don’t know. That’s what scares me. Actually, all of this scares me. I’m terrified. God, what will happen when my mother finds out? When my father finds out?”
“And Mateo.”
I put my head in my hands.
She sees my ring and grabs my hand, her eyes huge. “What the hell is this?”
“Mateo proposed.”
“And you’re just now telling me? When did this happen?”
“The next night after Ruiz showed up at your house. He must have gone straight to Mateo and told him he needed to rush this along. He may even have spoken with my father. He seemed to look at me differently, and he was all too eager to move things along. Everyone was there. My family, his family. I felt such pressure, and then the ring was on my finger. I don’t even remember saying yes. ”
“Oh, honey.”
“They want to plan the wedding as soon as possible.” I don’t tell her about everything Mateo and I talked about.
“Are you going through with it, then?”
“I don’t know. After everything that happened the other day, it really opened my eyes to how dangerous Blue’s life is, and…”
“And what?”
“He’s never told me he loved me. I mean, I think he does, but he’s never actually said the words.”
“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry.”
“If I turn down Mateo and Blue doesn’t want anything to do with being tied down with a wife and baby, then what?”
“Maybe a rushed wedding is what you should do then.”
“I can’t even imagine being with anyone but Blue.”
“Then maybe that’s your answer.”
“It’s not just me. I have to think about the baby’s future now. If I make the wrong choice, it’ll affect the baby, too.”
“Mateo would give you a good life, and a safe life.”
“Yes,” I agree sadly.
“But Blue would make you happy. I guess only you can decide if that’s enough.”
“You’re no help.”
“I’m a lot of help; you just don’t want to hear it.” She puts her arm around me. “Come on. Let’s get you some ice cream. You don’t have to decide anything today.”