CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Luisa—
At this sunset hour, the lights have been dimmed, and the few lit candles on the altar of the Basilica cast a flickering red glow across the first few pews. I cast my gaze at Jesus on his cross.
Now I sit out in the sanctuary.
The kneeling bench digs into my knees, and I tighten my folded hands. It’s quiet with just a few parishioners scattered throughout the pews. I pray, asking God what to do. Give me a sign. Please. Tell me the way.
Carmen sits beside me. I know she’s only here because I asked her. She’s been a good friend. The best. None better.
“I have to pick up my little sister from her ballet class and get her home for dinner.” She leans close and whispers, “Are you staying longer?”
Carmen knows Blue texted me twenty minutes ago. He’s back from Sturgis and wants to see me. I told him I was at the church and would walk over and meet him at the house.
“I’ll leave in a minute.”
“Okay, sweetie. I love you. I’m sure everything will be fine.”
She knows I plan to tell him.
Carmen squeezes my hand. “Everything will work out. Put it in God’s hands.”
I nod.
Once her footsteps fade down the aisle, I bow my head, my forehead touching my folded hands.
Please give me the strength to get through this.
I’m sitting quietly, lost in prayer, but still hear the thick wooden doors opening into the sanctuary. A moment later, I feel a presence at my side and think Carmen has come back for something. I’m stunned when I see Blue sliding into the pew next to me. My mouth drops open, and my eyes widen.
Not in a million years would I expect to see him inside the Basilica.
His gaze travels around the sanctuary, taking in the vaulted ceilings, the carved arches, the stained-glass windows, the altar and the stations of the cross.
I can see he’s moved by the rich and intricate details of the interior, and I wonder if he’s ever been inside any church before, let alone one like this.
“I thought I was meeting you at the house. What are you doing here?” I whisper.
“I got here earlier than I expected. You weren’t at the house, so I walked over and parked by the plaza. I was waiting for you to come out. Carmen saw me and said you were in here. Said it was okay for me to come inside. So, here I am.”
“Oh.”
My eyes travel over him. He’s not wearing his cut, just a faded denim shirt and jeans.
He’s more sunburned than he was the last time I saw him, and I’m sure that’s from all the miles on the road he’s spent these last two weeks.
It makes the creases around his eyes stand out.
Somehow, it’s even more attractive. So much has happened since we last saw each other, and I’ve missed him terribly.
If we weren’t in the sanctuary, I’d be in his embrace by now, and we’d be kissing. After so long apart, it’s all I can think about, and it makes the anticipation that much sharper.
“Do you want me to leave?”
“No, of course not,” I whisper, licking my lips. “I need to talk to you.”
“Okay.” He searches my face, and perhaps he sees the worry lines. I’ve had enough sleepless nights lately.
“Not here.” I rise to my feet, preparing to leave, but he puts a hand on my arm.
“Are you finished praying? I didn’t mean to rush you.”
“It’s fine. I was about to leave when you walked in.”
We exit the pew, and he threads his fingers with mine. It’s the only touch we’ve shared in weeks, and our eyes connect. A flutter starts in my belly, and I smile, looking away.
In the vestibule, Blue gestures to the wall on our left where a display of red votive candles burns.
“What’s the deal with the candles?”
“It’s where you can light a candle and say a prayer for something, like a sick relative, a job interview, or in memory of someone who has died, and to pray for their soul.
The flame signifies your prayer ascending to God, and it represents Jesus, the ‘Light of the World,’ and your own prayer as a small part of His divine light. ”
At my explanation, he smiles. “You know a lot about this stuff. I knew you were religious, but I guess I didn’t realize how important this part of your life is.”
“Is that bad?”
“Of course not. This helps me understand you better.” He looks at the candles. “Can I light one?”
“Of course.”
“How do I do it?”
I lead him to the votive stand and the supply of candles, handing him one. “It’s customary to offer a small donation to cover the cost of the candles.
He pulls a crumpled dollar bill from his hip pocket. “This is all the cash I have on me.”
“That’s fine.”
He slips it into the slot of the wooden donation box.
“Now you quietly say a prayer, place the candle in an empty votive and light it.”
I watch him stare at the painting of the Virgin Mary on the wall above it, then light his candle.
“Do I leave it burning?” he asks.
“Yes, it’s a symbol of your ongoing prayer. The burning candle keeps your prayer present even after you've left the church.”
We walk outside, and I look over at him. “Was that your first time in a church? What did you think?”
“It’s a beautiful, peaceful atmosphere, and I get the spiritual richness of the experience. I can see how a place like this means so much to you. The altar, the stained-glass windows, the holy statuary, the candles… I understand how you feel a strong connection to tradition and faith.”
“I do.”
He grins. “But don’t go thinkin’ you’re gonna save my soul. I’m probably a goner by now.”
I clutch his arm and rest my head against his shoulder. “Don’t say that. I hate to think of anyone as a lost cause.”
We head down the street.
It’s comfortable with him, holding hands and walking together. Just his presence settles everything inside me. It makes me feel like everything will be all right somehow.
“Who did you light the candle for?” I ask.
“My little sister.”
“Is she sick or something?”
“She drowned at the age of seven.”
“I’m so sorry.”
He shakes his head. “I grew up in a little town called Romulus. It’s in New York State in the heart of the Finger Lakes region, between Seneca and Cayuga lakes.
It’s pretty there. My grandparents had a place on Seneca Lake.
We went there a lot. My two younger sisters and I were out on the ice one spring day.
We weren’t supposed to be out there. The days were getting warmer, and the ice was melting.
I told them to get back to shore, but they wouldn’t listen.
A big cracking sound boomed across the lake, and the ice split open.
LeAnn and Zara both went underwater. I managed to pull LeAnn out, but I couldn’t save them both. Zara drowned.”
“Oh, Blue. How tragic.” I don’t even know the words to say.
“My father never forgave me. Not long after that, my parents divorced. As soon as I was old enough, I left home. Ended up in Boston. That’s where I joined the Saints.
When Rio decided to start a chapter out here, I jumped at the chance to be a part of it.
I guess I’ve been running from that day for most of my life. ”
I pull him to a stop and hug him. At first, he’s tense, like he doesn’t know how to take my sympathy, then his arms go around me, and I hold him for a long moment.
Without a word, he steps back, takes my hand, and we keep walking. Sensing he doesn’t want to talk about it further, I let it drop.
We arrive at the house, and Blue unlocks the door.
It’s weird being back here with him. The last time I was here, Carmen and I were watching two lines on a pregnancy test appear.
I can’t put it off any longer, so I take a deep breath and turn to face him. “Do you love me, Blue? You’ve never said the words.”
I nervously tuck a lock of hair behind my ear.
His eyes widen, and he grabs my hand, yanking it closer, his gaze locked on the engagement ring.
My eyes slide closed.
“What the hell is this?”
“You know what it is,” I whisper.
“It’s from him, isn’t it? Mateo. The man you’re promised to, whatever the fuck that means. I thought it was a joke. No one has arranged marriages anymore. That’s archaic. I never for a minute thought you were seriously going to marry some guy because your parents fucking arranged it.”
He’s so angry, and my eyes fill. “I’m sorry. I never meant for it to happen; he asked me in front of everyone. My whole family. His family. Everyone was there.”
“So, what are you saying? You got railroaded into this?”
“Are you serious about us, Blue? About me?” I slap my hand against my chest.
“Didn’t I warn you not to let them talk you into anything while I was gone? You promised me, Luisa.” He paces away and drags a hand through his hair. “I knew something like this would happen. I should have confronted that asshole before I left.”
“You don’t understand.”
“Don’t I? It’s because he has more money, isn’t it?”
“That has nothing to do with this.”
“Doesn’t it? Doesn’t every girl think about that stuff? What kind of provider a man would be.”
“It’s complicated. It’s not just about me anymore.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
I’m about to tell him about the baby when the roar of a motorcycle drags both our attention to the window. A split second later, the glass shatters, and something flies through it, spraying shards all over us.
Blue dives for me, knocking me to the floor, and then fire explodes through the room like some kind of bomb went off.
The curtains go up, the flames roll across the ceiling, and drips of flammable liquid splatter everything, burning.
The front door is unreachable, so Blue grabs my arms and hauls me toward the back door, but it won’t open, and when he draws the curtain back, there are boards nailing it shut.
“What the fuck?” he growls and leads me toward the bedroom. He opens a window and helps me out, then climbs out himself as smoke pours from the opening.
We jog to the carport.
Neighbors are coming out of their homes, and I hear someone already on a cell phone calling 911.
Blue’s bike is in the carport, and his cut is stuffed in the saddlebag. I see it hanging out. He grabs the grips of his handlebars and pushes the motorcycle out to the street away from the fire.
We’re drawing the attention of everyone in the neighborhood now, and someone from the next house brings his hose to fight the fire. While Blue helps him, I back away.
The sirens of an approaching fire engine carry to me, and the blood drains from my face.
My uncle works for the fire department, and I can’t let him catch me here. In a panic, I run toward the church.