Chapter 12
Rhett
“I’ll see you after work.”
Katie’s voice rang through my head all damn night, forcing me to toss and turn, but I didn’t mind. When I rang her, I half expected her to not pick up, and when she did, I thought she’d blow me off. She’d have forgotten our date or changed her mind about going out with me. I braced myself for every kind of rejection, only to end up stunned when she didn’t. When my alarm went off the next morning, I bounced out of bed, claiming the first shower as I scrubbed everything with the shower gel the girl at the chemist said smelled nice, before grabbing a razor. I shaved my face clean of all stubble and stared into the mirror once I’d washed the foam away.
I needed to do this right.
This was my chance to sweep Katie off her feet and I couldn’t fuck it up. I’d spent half the night researching restaurants before putting in a reservation at a place that had a ton of good reviews. A quick look over their menu and I knew there were a bunch of dishes Katie would like. We’d order every single one of them and see what took her fancy.
I’d need to have a shower after work. Couldn’t go wandering into a fancy place still in my uniform. I walked across the hall and then started to paw through my shirts. That shitty short sleeve printed thing my gran gave me one Christmas? Garrett made clear I should’ve donated it years ago. White shirt and a tie? I’d look like a damn waiter. Maybe the blue or the grey… I pulled out the grey shirt and stared at it for just a second, unable to stop myself from seeing the last time I wore it.
Rhys, Garret, and me, we’d been so optimistic. We’d dressed up to the nines, ready to wow the girl we wanted to make our girlfriend. Stupidly, we’d thought we were all on the same page, that this would be what she wanted. Instead, she’d looked almost pained when we fronted up to the restaurant. She was already waiting at our table, an apologetic look on her face, right before she dropped a bomb on us. That this had been fun, but she wasn’t looking for anything long term. My hand crumpled the grey shirt, creasing the fibres, right before I tossed it halfway across the room. I did not need that shit in my head right now.
“Hey, I…” Garrett appeared at my door with a mug of coffee in his hand. His voice trailed away as he saw the mess I was making. I kept my room neat and tidy, austere is what he called it, so the mess was all the more noticeable. “What’s going on? Got a job interview? An award ceremony I don’t know about?”
I swallowed hard. This shouldn’t have been this awkward, but it was. It was beyond time for me to get back into dating. Something had held me back, though, and perhaps it was this? Garrett looked almost wary as he entered the room, scanning the mess and deducting the cause before his eyes met mine. Pain, just a little bit, that’s what I saw, even if he hid it quickly.
“A date.” I answered him honestly, so why did it feel so damn weird? His eyebrows jerked up in surprise, but he quickly mastered himself. “I’m going on a date after work. That girl, the one that was going out with that dickhead.”
“Dave’s ex? She finally dumped his arse?” He set his mug down on my desk. “You’re shooting your shot.” Those dark brown eyes grew focussed. He was assessing my wardrobe, weighing up my options and making decisions on what to keep and what to discard by the second. “Where are you taking her?”
“This place up the road from work,” I told him, half expecting him to tear that idea to pieces. Garrett had opinions, lots of them, when it came to food, clothing, drinks. Most weekends we were forced to go to some bougie market to buy artisan cheese or whatever, whereas Rhys and I would happily live on protein shakes, steak, and eggs. “They say they’re a modern Italian place.”
“So completely inauthentic,” Garrett tutted, but he was moving towards my wardrobe and pulling out items in rapid succession. “Nope, washes you out.” He dismissed a reddish brown shirt. “Grey does not work for you and I’ve told you that multiple times, even though you keep buying shirts that colour, but this…” He held out a dark blue shirt and held it near my face before shoving it into my chest. “That and some black slacks. Shoes, not boots.” He pointed a finger at my face, making clear what would happen if I dared disobey him. “And give them a polish.” My best friend stepped back, pursing his lips as he stared me in the eyes. “You really like this girl, don’t you?”
I hadn’t spoken much about Katie to him or Rhys. What the hell could I say? That the minute she walked into the fire station break room I was on my feet and taking a step towards her, like it was my arm that was meant to go around her waist, not Dave’s. Every damn firefighter there noticed my reaction, including that prick. He’d shot me a snide smile as he introduced her to everyone.
When she smiled at me, my heart beat way too hard, way too fast, and why the hell was that? She was gorgeous, but that wasn’t the reason. I felt… something, a rapid tumble of emotion I’d given up thinking I’d feel again, and that’s what had me hanging around another man’s girl like a bad smell. There were pretty girls, and hot girls, and even beautiful ones, but they didn’t get a reaction from me, not like she did. That, that feeling of connection, something I’d given up hope feeling was what had me stressing over my fit like a teenage girl.
“I don’t know,” I said in answer, but that didn’t feel right. “Not much opportunity to chat up a girl when she was going out with a colleague. I guess we’ll find out if there’s anything there tonight.”
“But you want there to be.” Garrett stared into my eyes, making clear he wouldn’t let me fob him off. “You want to see if something serious can come of this.”
“That’s all that any of us wanted, right?” I snorted and shook my head. “I know fuckboys are a thing now, but that’s not me. Just feels like masturbating in a hole, taking some strange woman home to fuck. Not good for her, not good for me either.”
“Funny way to say you’re shit in bed.”
I found myself smiling despite myself.
“Nothing’s changed for me,” I said, standing taller. I grabbed the shirt he’d chosen and some black pants, then inspected my shoes closely. A rub at the toes with my sleeve and they were looking alright. “We said we wanted…” I stopped myself from going any further. We didn’t talk about the break up, not ever, and I wouldn’t start now. I didn’t need the spectre of our failures haunting us now. “I still want someone to come home to, someone to look after, to care for.” My breath escaped in a shuddering sigh. “Not just a roll in the hay. I want to wake up beside her, watch her sleep.”
“Because that’s not creepy,” Garrett muttered.
“And be there when she wakes up.” That was what had me pining after Katie. I was too much in my own head, creating scenarios that would never happen, but… When I listed all the things I wanted, I saw her every time. When I looked at Garrett, I shrugged. “I could be overthinking this.”
“No…”
The prick, he could take a sip of coffee and still make it sarcastic.
“Maybe there’s no connection there, but I need to know. You only get one go at life, and I’m not wasting it on might’ve beens.”
“OK.” He pulled a belt out of my wardrobe and a pair of socks and then handed it to me. “You’re taking her somewhere nice. That’s good, shows you’re serious.” He looked over his shoulder at me. “You’re paying, right?”
“Of course I’m bloody paying.”
“Open her door for her. Pull out her chair. Ask her questions about her day. Don’t bore her with stories about yours.” Garrett was like some kind of dating coach right now, ticking off each item. “Make everything about her.” He came to a stop in front of me, and suddenly I felt like I was lined up in formation, ready to hear the station chief’s speech. “If you give yourself a chance to get to know who she is as a person, then you can see if there’s anything real there, but afterwards, I need you and Rhys to help me get this place tidied up. The dog shelter staff are coming to inspect the place, see if we’re a good fit for the dog.”
Still wasn’t sure what the hell he’d do with a dog. Garrett was a cat person if ever I’d met one, strangely contained, but hey, the story he’d told me about the dog’s background? I was in, 100%.
“Done.”
I collected up everything he’d handpicked and threw it in a duffel bag, which just had him rolling his eyes. I think he said something about creases or some shit. I didn’t think about that as I walked out the door, nor when I entered the station.
“Rhett,” Gareth said as soon as I walked in the door.
“I’ve got a long day of paperwork ahead of me?” I asked, hopeful I wouldn’t turn up to my date with the stink of smoke still hanging around me.
“You’re heading over to the primary school.” He thrust a handful of paper at me. “One of the fellas is out sick, so I’ll need you…”
To try and wrangle a bunch of hyperactive little kids, apparently. We tried to convey some fire safety information to the preschoolers, but their little brains weren’t able to focus, not with the massive fire truck there. I looked at my partner and we both nodded and then set the kids loose on the truck. They were like a pack of screaming monkeys, climbing like ones as they clambered over the vehicle. We were hoisting some kids up into the back seat, stopping yet others from trying to climb onto the ladders. They each got a turn at tooting the horn, the delight on their faces making the day worth it, even if I had to scramble when we got back to the station at the end of the day. Back into the showers, I cleaned myself up, then carefully changed into my date outfit, taking care to comb my hair just right.
“Well, well, look at you,” one of the guys said as I made for the door. “Looking sharp there, Windy.”
Mum had named me for Rhett Butler, the character in Gone with the Wind, which then devolved into a convoluted series of nicknames before everyone settled on Windy.
“What’s going on?” Charlie asked, stumbling out into the hall and then looking me up and down. “Funeral? Dinner with the parents?” He stabbed a finger in the air. “I know?—”
Knox stepped out, interrupting his team mate.
“You’re going on that date.” Those grey eyes seemed to see straight through me. “With Katie, if I’m not mistaken.”
“Fuuuck, you’re dating Dave’s ex?”
“Have to be an improvement on that dickhead.”
“She seemed nice, too nice for that idiot.” Brent, the station commander’s eyes narrowed as he stared at me. “So you better be good to her.”
“I’m trying to make sure I’m not late, for one,” I said. “So if you’ll excuse me?”
I pushed past the lot of them, making for the door, but of course, my dear colleagues needed to have one last jab.
“Romance the shit out of her, Windy! Then maybe you’ll stop being such a miserable prick.”
Was that the answer to all my problems? I didn’t know, sliding behind the wheel of my car and turning the key in the ignition. The world seemed grey, bland, except when I was fighting fires or talking to Katie, and it was past time for me to work out if there was something real between us or just some fantasy that lived in my head.
I pulled up the front of the veterinary surgery, and for a moment I just gripped the steering wheel tightly. I’d agreed readily when my best friends suggested we look for a girl to share, and it wasn’t just due to our brutal schedules. Some blokes had a way with the ladies, but not me. The plastic of the steering wheel made a small sound of protest, forcing me to pull back and get out of the car. I could do this, I told myself as I walked up the path leading to the surgery. Katie had already said yes. Just needed to turn on the charm, get her talking, and?—
“Oh.” I looked up to see Katie had come out the front door, a bunch of keys in her hands. She was obviously ready to lock up, but instead stared at me. Was the blue shirt the wrong one? Mum said the colour made my eyes pop, but— “You said… I thought…”
Katie was studying my appearance like all the world’s secrets could be found within. Her eyes met mine and I was gone, ready to dive into those dark depths and just sink into their warmth. I watched her hand go to her forehead.
“This is a real date?”
Fuck, I thought I’d prepared for everything. I’d inspected the menu, looked at photos of the interior and checked to see if it looked nice. In my mind, I’d played a million scenarios in my head, but not this one. I thought I was clear about what I wanted. I thought… I shook my head sharply, then dared to smile at her.
“Well, it is if you want it to be.”