Chapter Three
Phil had tended to Terry’s injuries, the complete attention focused on him worth any punishment Phil might want to dole out.
However, Phil still hadn’t said green, or called scene, which was driving Terry crazy.
On top of that, Phil had insisted that he be the one to prepare dinner so Terry wouldn’t be on his feet cooking.
He loved being pampered by his Dom, but Phil acting as if he was hiding something? Not so much.
“Leave that.”
Phil rose from the small, mid-century kitchenette set in the eating area of the kitchen right as Terry had been about to clear the table.
He gathered up both their plates which had held the pasta primavera with olive oil and garlic that Phil had prepared, and which was much tastier than anything Terry could’ve come up with.
He made a mental note to ask Phil for some pointers.
He was getting better at the whole cooking thing, but he’d rather eat stuff as good as what Phil was capable of making.
“I don’t have any dessert, but there’s some late-season melon, if you’d like.”
What I’d like is to know what the hell is going on.
“No thanks, I’m stuffed. That was amazing, though. You need to show me some of your tricks of the trade.”
Phil glanced over his shoulder from where he was rinsing the dishes and offered him a smile.
“You’ve been doing great. It takes practice until it becomes more second nature.
” Phil shut off the faucets then grabbed the small kitchen towel to dry his hands.
“How about some decaf or tea, though? We could take it into the living room, relax and talk.”
Terry’s stomach clenched. “I knew it. Something’s wrong.”
Phil rushed to him then leaned down, cupping his chin to encourage him to look up. “No. I don’t want you to think that. This is about some updates in the status of my career, and in keeping to our commitment of communicating, I simply want to discuss them with you.”
“Oh.” Terry frowned. “But, you’re the Master, so…?”
“That’s why I called red.” Phil placed a quick kiss on his lips before continuing.
“Since we’re not full-time yet, as much because of me as you, I’d like for us to discuss this right now without protocol added in.
” Phil let him go then pulled out one of the chairs so it was next to Terry.
“Don’t think I wouldn’t have included you in this discussion anyway, it’s merely that I want your full attention on what I’m saying and nothing else. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah. I get it.” Terry took Phil’s hand. “But do you mind if we talk about it now instead of waiting for the coffee?”
Phil chuckled, covering their joined hands with his other one. “That’s fine. But can we at least relax on the sofa? I’d like you to be more comfortable.”
“Sure. But it’s not that bad. I don’t want you to keep freaking out about a bump on the knee and a scraped elbow.”
Phil pursed his lips. “I am not freaking out. And watch your smart mouth.” Phil kept hold of Terry’s hand and yanked him up with it. “Get used to it. This is part of what it means to be your Master. I get to fuss over you.”
Terry allowed himself to be led into the living room as he let out a snorting chuckle. “Fuss over me? You sound like my grandmother.”
Phil shot him a look, mumbling something and Terry immediately regretted his words.
He’d only been teasing, however, he’d forgotten how sensitive Phil had been about their age difference when they’d been cuddling the night before.
It was something he eventually wanted to bring up but decided that whatever was on Phil’s mind should be dealt with first. The tension radiating off Phil was palpable.
Once they got settled with Phil slightly angled to face Terry—which sort of bummed him out because he’d wanted to lean against him—his lover spoke up.
“I haven’t been completely honest as to why I came back to Los Angeles.”
“Oh Jesus.” Terry covered his face with both hands. “You’re going back to Toronto. I should’ve known.”
“What?” Phil grabbed Terry’s hands and pulled them away from his face. “How the hell did you get that I was going back to Toronto out of what I just said?”
Terry ran it through his mind. “I have no idea. I think I might be paranoid or something.” I need to calm the fuck down.
Phil shook his head, but held onto Terry, stroking the backs of his hands with his thumbs.
“Listen to what I’m saying first before you get yourself worked up.
There’s nothing bad here in regards to you, or how I feel about you, or anything like that.
” Phil let out a long sigh. “I know I did a number on you from before, and we’ve been back together for less than two months, so I get it.
My asshole behavior when we were first together won’t disappear overnight.
But please don’t let yourself suffer by worrying about whether or not you have my love. ”
“Yeah, okay. I know I can get overly sensitive about stuff. I’ll work on taking an extra beat before I go off about something.”
Phil offered him a smile then leaned in to take a chaste kiss. “We both have our own issues to work on, baby. But the most important part is that we’ll do it together, right?”
Terry let out a sigh as well, but it was one of relief. “Together all the way.”
“Good.” Phil arched his eyebrows. “Can I continue now?”
Terry took a deep breath. Everything’s fine. “Please.”
Phil relaxed against the couch cushion, a slight frown marring his brow.
He still held one of Terry’s hands but rubbed at his chin with the other.
“Okay. When I told you I came back to L.A. because I’d been offered the chance to produce a major film, that was partially true.
The part I left out was that I’d been waiting for an opportunity to return so I could try to win you back. ”
That’s it? Terry had to chuckle. Phil was right. He sure knew how to worry for nothing. “Why would I be upset about that?”
Phil smirked. “Exactly.”
Something else occurred to Terry. “But...if you hadn’t gotten that offer, you would have stayed.
You wouldn’t have come back.” What difference does it make?
He’s here now. It all worked out. It was ridiculous to think Phil would’ve walked away from a great job on the off-chance Terry might still want to be with him. Right?
“Actually…” Phil cleared his throat. “I was coming back anyway. I didn’t renew my contract for the fourth season even before I got the film offer. It just made it easier to have a job, an income already in place, when I did get it. I have my savings, but now that…”
Phil let go of his hand and brushed his own hair back, the strain of something showing in his expression.
The strands were short enough that it seemed to be more of a reflexive action than a necessary one.
Terry could tell Phil was upset, and all he wanted to do was be the one who played the role of comforting him, instead of the other way around.
“Now that what?” Terry scooted closer to Phil then draped an arm over his shoulders. Since protocol was temporarily suspended, so was the rule that Terry had to ask for permission to touch. Which is a stupid one anyway. “I love you no matter what. Cuts both ways.”
Phil nodded, smiling. “Thank you, baby. You’re right.” He sucked in a deep breath. “The whole film deal fell through today.” Phil glanced up and held Terry’s gaze. “I’m officially unemployed.”
Terry was about to blurt out that it was no big deal, they’d work it out, but stopped himself.
It was obviously a big deal to Phil. His role as caretaker, Master, the comments about being old—Terry wouldn’t help his partner’s self-esteem by making light of what were genuine concerns for him. He’d never do that to me.
“I’m really sorry. I know you were excited about that project.”
“Yeah.” Phil nodded. “I was. But right now, I’m worried about my ability to provide for you.”
Right as Terry opened his mouth to give his “It’s no big deal” speech, Phil held up a hand to stop him.
“This is real to me, baby. I came to you with a proposition, and part of that deal was for me to take care of you in all ways. Including financially.”
“Okay, right, but hold up a second. It’s not as if I don’t have a lucrative profession, thanks in part to you, by the way.
Not only that, but we agreed that I would continue working anyway because photography is my career and I love it.
” Terry couldn’t stand the pained expression Phil radiated back at him.
“Look. I’m still working out this whole TPE, D/s stuff, so maybe there’s something I’m missing here.
But I can tell you from my heart that this doesn’t bother me in the slightest, while still acknowledging that you have every right to be upset.
Mainly, because of how you were excited about that project. ”
Terry threw his arms around Phil and pulled him closer, ignoring the ache in his muscles. “We can figure it out. Or, you know, I trust you to handle it because you’re in charge and all that. As long as we’re together, and I can keep on pursuing my career, the details don’t matter to me.”
Phil angled back, holding Terry’s shoulders to look him in the eye. “You would completely trust me to make this decision for our future?”
“Well, yeah.” He would’ve shrugged, but Phil still had a rather tight grip on him. “Isn’t that part of what I agreed to when I decided to give this a try?”
Phil shook his head, a huge grin forming. “Yes. Absolutely. I didn’t realize how ready you were for it, though. I honestly wasn’t sure where you were in terms of trusting me.”
“Seriously?” Terry pried Phil’s hands off his shoulders, then snuggled in again. “I love what we’re doing, even if I suck at it sometimes.”
“Baby…” Phil’s tone had a growl to it. “It’s a process and there’s no right or wrong. As long as you’re trying, that’s all that matters.”
“I am trying, I swear.”
Phil gave him a soft hug. He hated that his Master was holding back because of Anson, the Mega-Prick.