Chapter Three #2
“I know you are, baby. I need to think things through some more, and I’ll likely ask how you feel about any ideas I have, but thank you for giving this to me.
” Phil cleared his throat again. “And I’ll probably have to show up at some industry functions where I won’t be able to bring you along.
But I promise I’ll only attend ones I feel are absolutely necessary. Deal?”
Terry tried not to groan. He’d hated that aspect of their relationship the first time around. But things weren’t the same, and Phil needed to take care of his career as much as Terry did his own.
“It’s a deal. Can I still miss you when you’re out?”
Phil nuzzled his hair, chuckling. “Don’t worry. I’ll give you plenty of tasks to keep you busy while I’m gone.”
“Not what I was going for.”
“I’ll make sure they keep your mind occupied so you won’t suffer too much from my absence.”
“No really, I’m good.”
Phil grasped Terry’s chin, turning his head until their lips met.
Phil’s kiss was claiming, leaving no doubt as to whom Terry belonged.
He relaxed in Phil’s sure embrace, calm flowing through him.
Phil’s strength was what he needed. It wasn’t as though he didn’t believe it was there all the time, but when Phil demonstrated it, those were the times Terry was at peace.
After Gerard’s, after our scene…
Terry broke the kiss, angling back to catch Phil’s puzzled gaze.
“I’d like to talk about our scene now, if that’s okay.”
Phil loosened his hold a little, but kept Terry in his arms. “Excellent. Remember, anything you say is fine. I won’t be upset if there are things you hated about it, or things I did that bothered you. Say whatever you want.”
“Phil, Master, I mean it when I say it was the most amazing experience and I loved it. I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Seriously.” Terry chuckled. “It was actually better than I imagined it would be.”
Happiness shone from Phil’s eyes and Terry was glad they’d waited to discuss their shared experience. It was perfect timing given the events of the day, something that could bolster Phil.
“What was better about it?”
Terry had been trying to formulate the perfect words but wasn’t sure he could convey exactly what it was. In some ways, it was indescribable. How could he articulate a feeling he didn’t fully understand himself?
“The loss of control. But it wasn’t just that. It was that I gave it to you.”
“So, the fantasy that you were being raped by a stranger didn’t work?”
“See…that’s the part I can’t quite explain.
It did work, I definitely got lost in the fantasy, felt the fear, or rather, the thrill.
But, more importantly, once I really gave the control to you and when it was over, and the reality of giving it to you…
am I making sense? The whole thing was real.
It’s like, I know now that giving you, Phil, my lover, my best friend and Master, that giving my submission to you is what’s perfect for me. It’s what I need.”
“Baby.” Phil wrapped him in another embrace, kissed him gently before speaking again.
“I’ve come to the realization that the more you submit, the more fulfillment you gain.
But that’s not something I could tell you, you had to figure it out on your own.
Truthfully, I thought it was possible it might be months or years before you fully grasped it.
” Phil brushed his hair back from his forehead.
“We don’t need the fantasy for that, though. ”
“Oh, I know. But it was still fucking hot.”
Phil barked out a laugh. “Yes, it certainly was.”
“Good.” Terry grinned. “A topic to be revisited at a later time.” Terry rolled one shoulder, wincing. “Once I’ve completely recovered from that little asshole.”
Phil gave him a frown. “Come on. I want you to lie down on the bed so I can rub some arnica cream into your muscles. I’d like to clean out your elbow again, too.”
Terry had to admit, he did love getting fussed over. As long as Phil is the one doing the fussing.
****
Phil had his feet propped up on the coffee table in the living room. His earbud was in so he could relax on the sofa as he spoke on the phone. “So basically, what you’re saying is my responsibility to my sub supersedes any other considerations, even if my career has to be sacrificed.”
Phil was so grateful that Terry was at work on the set so he could have a no-holds-barred conversation with Eric, his BDSM mentor and the man who’d trained him as a Master.
“Come on, Phil. You know that. And I reminded you of it when you left Toronto, left your job. Didn’t you take a risk then by giving up a steady gig with a large income to go get your boy? You didn’t know at the time if he’d ever have anything to do with you again.”
“I do know that. I’d say it’s more a case of me needing to hear it out loud at this point. There’s been so much going on here emotionally, an adjustment period with me moving in, all of it. Then to lose such a big job in the blink of an eye? It rattled me.”
Eric chuckled. “Too bad I’m not there to give you a nice spanking.”