Chapter Thirty-Five
Frey
“What’s up?” Frey asked, placing a reassuring hand on Bowie’s arm when he didn’t seem able to find his voice. He kicked at the floor with his sneakered foot.
The longer the seconds drew out, the more Frey had to fight the urge to traipse over to where Popi held court with Emmy, waiting with some of the other PA’s. The lack of crying was a good sign. She was very vocal when something wasn’t to her liking. Did that make him feel better?
“I… you see…” Bowie sighed and rubbed at his flushed face. “You won’t give up that little girl if things don’t work out for you and Booker, will you?”
It took a second to realize that Bowie wasn’t being horrible. Frey recalled a little of what Bowie had shared about his past. What he’d mentioned before in the group chat must still have been on his mind. Frey could see the genuine concern Bowie had for Emmy and that it came from a place of understanding what it was like to be rejected by those who adopted him.
Blowing out a breath at the unexpected emotional hit, Frey dragged Bowie in for a hug, struggling a little to get his arms around his shoulders. In the end he gave up, slipping his arms around Bowie’s waist, drawing him in to whisper in his ear, “I would cut off a limb before I’d give up my baby.”
He meant every word. When he’d signed the paperwork Booker’s lawyers had pushed through for them, he’d become Emmy’s Popi for life.
He squeezed hard, then released Bowie to cup his cheeks, holding his stare so he could see Frey was deadly serious. “She’s mine in every way. I helped bring that baby into this world, possibly even saved her life. Her daddy asked me to help, and I am going to honor his life by doing just that.”
Bowie’s eyes searched his. “What if you get pregnant a-and don’t want her ‘cause you h-have your own flesh and blood?”
Frey blinked back a sudden rush of tears. He hated his hormones, he really did. It took a moment for him to gather himself to admit his secret.
“I can’t have children.” Saying it hurt a little less with everything he’d become blessed with. “I took heat blockers for too long and they messed up my hormones. I don’t have a heat the same way because of it.”
Speaking the truth aloud felt freeing. He’d discovered he didn’t need to give birth to feel like a parent, Emmy had taught him that.
“You what? ”
The strain in Booker’s voice got him releasing Bowie to swing around. They stared at each other as Bowie said something and scuttled off down the hallway. “I was going to tell you, I swear.” Frey felt the panic climbing when he couldn’t get a read off the motionless man.
After an eternity—two seconds—Booker removed the distance between them, his dark brows doing combat. “Was this what you meant about there being more to talk about that day at the lake?”
There was little about the question that helped Frey’s nerves as he nodded.
“Why did you tell Bowie and not me?”
Hurt. It shone out of the deep brown eyes that had captured Frey’s heart. He’d seen the gentleness beyond the bear’s grumpy exterior.
His chest heaved as he released a shuddery breath, then inhaled, taking that last step that separated them, trusting his instincts. “Bowie is worrying I’ll get pregnant and reject Emmy.”
“What! You’ll never do that, not in a million years,” Booker blustered angrily.
Frey’s lips curved into a sweet smile, and he slipped his arms around Booker’s middle and snuggled right in, his heart brimming with love. “I love you.”
Booker became a statue. Chest unmoving, like he’d lost the ability to breathe as it struck Frey what he’d let slip out. Oh no, he’d ruined everything by rushing things. Booker clearly wasn't ready for such a declaration.
“You d-do?” His whole body remained still .
Tell him again.
Frey ignored his fox and eased back, looking up. What he could see in Booker’s eyes rammed his heart from the front to the back of his chest. Emotion’s made the words slip out with full intention this time. “Yes. I love you. I’m not saying it because of Emmy. This is because of who you are. I know things are… different between us b-because of my p-past, but I want you, all of you, in every way .” Saying it made it real, made everything real. But was this type of real too much for Booker?
Stop being daft, nothing is too much for our bear.
The two seconds that followed were the longest in Frey’s life, despite the conviction of his animal spirit. Then Booker scooped him up off the floor and his feet dangled in the air while large hands held onto his bottom. Booker lifted him until they were eye level and kissed him. It wasn’t the gentle exploration of their first kiss. This held passion the likes Frey had dreamed of but never thought he’d experience.
His lips parted and where once would have been fear, all Frey felt was raw need. It banished the fatigue, burned it clear away. He lifted his legs without thinking and wrapped them around Booker’s waist. The snug fit made him gasp and mewl at the realization his body was wholly on board with this new situation, right along with his brain.
Heart thundering in his ears, his fingers sank into Booker’s thick, silky hair and clung on. Booker deepened the kiss, his lips devouring Frey’s, one hungry kiss after another.
Frey felt achy all over and his clothes felt too restrictive when Booker stopped. “We gotta stop… or I’m… ”
“Or you’ll what?” Jupiter asked from somewhere behind them.
It didn’t quite dampen Frey’s arousal, but it helped lessen the heat, if not that of his cheeks, which burned at being caught like this.
“Get lost.” Booker didn’t so much as look away from Frey.
“I would, but then Dad might come looking for you. I’m sure you don’t want him to find you making out where everyone can see you both, outside and in, with the front door wide open?”
Frey wriggled and dropped his legs to dangle in Booker’s arms, not wanting to be caught like this despite Derick’s warm welcome. No, that would be too much on the first night in their house. Heck, any night in this house.
When Booker was slow to let him go, Jupiter laughed aloud
Frey frowned. “Let go,” he murmured, his eyes begging the man who seemed less inclined and caused a level of conflict in Frey he’d not felt before. “Please.”
Booker scowled over his shoulder and then placed him on the ground, whispering in his ear, “We’ll finish this later.” He rose and reached for Frey’s hand, entwining their fingers, giving him a big grin. “Let’s see what Popi has planned.”
Frey registered that everyone had disappeared inside, including Popi and Emmy. He didn’t sigh in complaint when he had been the one to kiss Booker and declare his feelings with an audience he'd forgotten about. He had no one to blame but himself for Popi taking their little girl inside while he had been… otherwise occupied .
“Yeah, let's,” Jupiter replied, rolling his eyes at them. Dressed as casually as Frey had ever seen him, in slim fitting sweats and a Starling Enterprise hoodie, Jupiter still looked like he’d just stepped out of the pages of a fashion magazine.
“You can always say no,” Frey felt compelled to say.
Jupiter aimed a sardonic grin at them. “You have met Popi, right?”
“We wouldn’t force you to do anything that took time from your playthings,” Booker muttered snappily.
Another eye roll and Jupiter shook his head. “They’ll wait for me,”—he winked at Frey—“’cause they know I’m worth it.”
Booker tucked Frey into his side, making it awkward to walk when they headed inside and off down the hallway in the direction of the sounds of voices, leaving Jupiter behind.
“I’m not interested in him,” Frey pointed out in a quiet voice.
“I know.” Booker glanced over his shoulder. “I just need someone else to know that.”
Frey kept the laughter tickling the back of his throat to himself at the show of jealousy. He’d never have expected that from Booker.
They entered what Frey knew was the dining room, and he came to a sudden stop, jerking Booker to a halt. Whatever guilt that wanted to worm its way in at thoughts of what happened outside, didn’t have time to take root. In Derick’s arms nestled Emmy, looking right at home and it seemed loving the attention .
There were all the PAs standing around Lane, adding their names to—Frey strolled towards them, his gaze fixed—a large flip pad on a stand. There were three calendar months mapped out with the days broken down into three sections. “W-hat…” he swallowed, licking his dry lips and trying again. “What is this?”
“There you are. I hope you don’t mind. I brought Emmy in,” he coughed. “You looked a little busy.”
Frey’s blush burned his cheeks. His head bobbed and the furrow between Lane’s brows disappeared as he grinned. “Come and sit, I’ve already started filling in the chart,” Lane said excitedly.
“Popi,” Booker said in a warning tone.
Derick looked at them, then at his husband. “Maybe you should explain yourself love, to prevent Frey freaking out and running for the door with our granddaughter.”
“Oh… yes, sorry.” Lane waved a hand at him, and Frey came to a halt in front of the chart wearing a bemused expression as his friends made room for him. “Booker said you wanted to keep working, and as I really struggled to leave my boys when they were babies, I thought maybe if I could help with a daycare rota for when you’re in work with the other PAs, those you trust of course.” He tapped at the boxes. “You can take Emmy to work, use the space I've set up for her, and the guys are going to take hourly slots around their workload. You’ll be close at hand so if they have a problem, you’ll be right there to deal with it.”
Frey sniffed and felt his nose burn at the reality he could go to work, have Emmy close by and have help. It was so much more than he could have imagined. Having Emmy was a dream come true, but this? He was being offered everything he wanted and so much more.
“Then, see, I did one for when you’re here, after work, so it’s not so tiring. I’ve also factored in sleeping. Babies can make sleep a distant memory along with…” his gaze shifted to Booker and a cheeky grin appeared, “alone time.”
“Popi’s sorting your sexy time, big bro,” Rue said through his laughter, before Derick landed his gaze on him. He instantly sobered and dropped his head. “Sorry.”
Frey wasn’t sure what to say as he sniffed louder than the last time and dashed a hand over his damp eyes. “It’s…” he burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably.
“Fuck.”
“Oh, shit.”
“Why does he have to do that?”
“Booker, do something,” Silas snapped.
“I’m sorry,” Frey sobbed. “It’s just all so overwhelming.”
Booker wrapped his arms around him and lifted him up to sit on his hip. “Please don’t cry.” The hitch in Booker’s voice was unmistakable.
“This shit’s catching,” said one of the twins, but Frey couldn’t tell which when Booker’s wide shoulder blocked his view.
“Less of that, you’re setting a poor example to Frey and the other PAs.” Derick’s command, though said in a low voice, which Frey appreciated when he was holding Emmy, held a wealth of alpha power .
“S-sorry.” Frey worked to get himself back under control, not wanting anyone to get into trouble because of his choices. His body shuddered, as did that of the man holding him.
“It’s not your fault I have dicks for brothers.” There was a smattering of laughter at this.
Frey scrubbed his face and worked to get hold of himself, taking deep breaths. When he could finally look at the room of people, he gave them a watery smile. “Thank you. All of you, for this. I made a promise to Emmy’s daddy, Toby, before he died to help. Only it’s not about that now. I love her, she’s my daughter.” He met Booker’s shimmering gaze. “She’s our daughter.”
“She is,” Booker murmured softly before he kissed him gently, setting off flutters inside Frey at how he didn’t care that they had an audience. “Part of our family.” The latter, Booker said to the room.
“Of course she is,” Lane said, slipping his arm around Derick and resting his head on his shoulder, looking directly at Emmy. Back was the urge to cry at what Lane was offering. Love was all Frey could see as Lane stared at their child. “She’s our very first grandbaby.”
Lane smiled at his sons and Frey’s urge to cry turned into a wet giggle at the unmistakable look of alarm that five of the brothers wore.
“I wish you’d adopted me,” Bowie said, loud enough for everyone to hear. He blushed when several heads turned in his direction. Including Kari, who wore a look that gave Frey pause as he stared between both men .
Jupiter laughed and distracted Frey. “I think that wouldn’t work, for obvious reasons.”
“Jup…” Derick walked to his son and, without warning, placed Emmy into his arms. “Here, let’s give you something else to think about.”
Frey, about to ask to be put down, parted his lips in surprise as Emmy made a noise that he’d describe as a giggle. Jupiter looked down at the little girl and Frey witnessed the moment of wonder that fleetingly crossed Jupiter’s face. One he recognized from Booker. It was gone in a flash, replaced by a cheeky grin.
“See,” he smirked, “even Emmy can see I’m adorable.”
Groans filled the room.
“You are adorable.” Lane’s statement brought more good humored groans, with the exception of Wilder, who was watching Jupiter like a cat watched a mouse. Frey wasn’t sure anyone else noticed. Being sat on Booker’s hip, he was higher up and had a better view of the room.
“Urg… what’s that smell?” Jupiter’s nose wrinkled as he lifted Emmy closer to his face.
“She needs a diaper change, and it looks like you’re up, bro.” Booker’s glee brought a head shake from Jupiter.
“Fu—no way. She’s your daughter.”
“And your niece,” Popi said, guiding Jupiter to the door by his elbow. “I’ll explain how to do it, don’t worry.”
They could all hear Jupiter’s alarm as he left the room. “What! No, you can’t be serious. Can’t you smell that? ”
As his voice trailed off, it took all of two seconds before the room erupted with laughter. Booker looked at Frey, his eyes dancing with mischief. “I think I better go check if he's okay.”
“You mean watch him suffer?”
Booker placed Frey down and kissed him once more. “That too, but hey he’s my brother.” As if that explained it, Booker was off, hustling after Lane and Jupiter.
Derick came over to Frey before he could decide if he should follow. “You only have to say no if it’s not what you want. I’ll make Lane listen.”
Frey hadn’t missed Derick’s name next to Lane’s on the chart for taking Emmy overnight twice a week. “How does that usually work for you?” Derick’s lips twitched, and Frey responded with a grin. “I thought so.”
“It doesn’t stop me from trying.”