8. Seth
8
SETH
I spent all week avoiding any chance of running into Kristen. It meant making coffee at home and avoiding Main Street but I made it to Friday night dinner. I feel bad about the things I said to Kristen when I left, but I’m also still angry at her for being so reckless with another person’s feelings.
I meet Riley and Jacquiline for our standing family dinner at Jacquiline’s place. Riley greets me at the door with a big hug. She is full of energy and tells me all about her week. I see her at school but it doesn’t stop her from telling me all about the happenings between her and her friends. She grabs some of the books she got from Kristen.
“I told mommy about the bookstore lady.” Riley hands me a picture books that has pop up dinosaurs on each page. “Do you think she has more like this?” I flip through it.
“I think she gave you all she had, squirt.” I hand it back to her.
“Dinner is ready you two,” Jacquiline calls from the kitchen. I go help her carry the food to the table.
Dinner passes with bits of silence while we all enjoy the lasagna and garlic bread. Riley fills the rest of the time telling us about her favorite doll and how she’s now a spy for the teddy bears. Riley finishes her meal and goes to grab her stuff for her week with me.
“She has the best imagination.” I start to bring the dishes into the kitchen for Jacquiline “You make the best lasagna Jacq.” I kiss her cheek and set the plates next to the sink.
“That’s the only reason you married me,” she chuckles as she fills the dishwasher.
“It’s not the only reason, you were quite a catch.” I shift my feet. “Tell me more about this bookstore lady Riley has talked about all week.”
“Oh, Kristen…” I run my hand through my hair. “She’s an old friend from high school. She’s the one that Riley invited to dinner but I didn’t have a great way to explain that she’s not really a girlfriend but an old friend.”
“An old girlfriend though,” she leans against the kitchen counter. “Is this the Kristen you dated in high school?”
“Yes, things just didn’t work out. Sort of like with us.” I gesture between us.“Both situations we were young and dumb. Thinking love solved everything.”
“That’s why you think we didn’t work out?” Her eyebrows rise and I nod a yes in response. “Seth you clearly never got over Kristen. We dated, I got pregnant, and we got married. Sure, we were in love, but you never had a whole heart to give to me.”
Her words sink in. I’m not sure how to reply. I thought Jacq and I just didn’t have that spark after Riley came into our lives.
“I’m sorry Jacq, I guess I didn’t realize how much I’ve been letting my past affect me.”
“It’s okay, we only got married to appease our parents. Things just don’t work out sometimes.” Jacq shrugs and we move to the living room.
I start to get my shoes and Jacq goes to help Riley.
I wonder how Kristen’s meeting with the realtor went and if she’s leaving soon.
Maybe I have time to apologize.
Riley comes out with her backpack and current favorite stuffed animal in her tiny arms. I take the bag from Jacq and we head to the car. After Riley is in Jacq motions me off to the side for a moment.
“Don’t be stupid this time around and let her get away.” She kisses my cheek.
I chuckle lightly before I thank her for the lasagna and the advice.
After Riley goes to bed, I pour a small amount of whiskey and sit in the living room thinking about the ways I can apologize. Jacq was right, I gave Kristen my heart long ago.
But how do you tell your ex that they should uproot their life and give you a second chance?
It’s a ridiculous idea. I should let Kristen get back to California and her life out on the west coast. She has a job she clearly loves.
But what if this is the only chance I have for happiness?
There is something between us. I know it. My mind and my heart are battling it out. Between the endless possibilities playing out in my brain and the whiskey I’m going to have a headache in the morning. I take some pain reliever and drink a glass of water before heading to bed.
I don’t have a plan further than taking Kristen a piece of chocolate cake and apologizing.