24. Veda
VEDA
The toothbrush scrubbed at my fuzzy teeth, removing the taste of bile after vomiting this morning. I stood in front of my bathroom mirror preparing for work without any way of knowing what to expect.
I should've told Asher weeks ago about this baby and the stupid choice I made to conspire against him but the more this blew out of proportion with Clayton, the more I clung to my secrecy hoping against all hope that Clayton would be the one to spiral out and lose control.
Yesterday had only been a mockery to that hope. When things hit the fan it wasn't Clayton that walked away looking like a fool. It was Asher. Though, he had messaged me before sleeping last night to tell me he had managed to stay sober, for which I was proud of him.
But every day presented a new challenge at this point. Getting ready for work felt ominous too, like at any second I was going to get a kick in the teeth and be reminded of how badly I messed up.
I hadn't reached out to Asher after sneaking out of his office, either.
My plan to slowly disentangle my life from his wasn't working.
It seemed that every time I took a step back, he took one toward me.
I wanted to prop him up with Penny or Robert, but Asher kept clinging to me like I was his life preserver.
He even called me his "salvation" while having sex with me.
It broke me.
Something inside me snapped completely in half with absolutely no way to fix it. My back got pressed to a brick wall and Regan's words came back to bite me. Not just bite—devour me whole.
She condemned me from the beginning and I could only hang my head in shame knowing the "I told you so" was coming. I was a bad person, a horrible human being, and I had to tell Asher the truth.
Today was the day.
So when it came time to get in my shower, I procrastinated. The act of preparing for work only reminded me of the inevitable. I found myself brushing my hair again, flossing, picking at a pimple and rearranging my makeup.
When someone pounded on my door, I was grateful for the distraction. I grabbed a towel and lashed it around my body and darted to the front of the apartment to see who it was, thinking maybe it would be Asher and we could do this in privacy instead of in his office.
But to my utter shock, it wasn’t Asher at all.
Clayton stood on my welcome mat pounding on my door. This time, he looked as put-together as ever. His hair was coiffed, his tie cinched straight. He had on a dark blue suit and didn’t look like he'd been drinking or lacking sleep for that matter.
"Open up, Porter!" he screamed through the door, frightening me.
After the way he treated me at The Pub last weekend, I had no desire to let him in my apartment, but leaving him on my doorstep to screech at the top of his lungs wasn’t smart either. I just moved here. I didn't want my neighbors complaining about me.
I undid the chain and then the lock but didn’t get the chance to turn the knob before he barged right in, sending me scurrying backward as he slammed the door.
"Cough up the recording… I know you have to have one…" He stomped in with eyes searching, probably for my phone, which I knew was on my end table next to the remote. I left it there after watching the morning weather report.
"Clayton, why are you here? I'm just about to shower for work."
"Yeah, that's obvious," he snarled. "You should know I'm telling my brother everything today." He kept searching, moving toward my kitchen and tossing my mail around. "And after that, the board will probably ask for your resignation."
"Ugh," I scoffed, following him as I held my towel in place. "You can't just storm into my apartment and—"
"Asher is going to be so angry…" He chuckled, and I could've slapped him. "He'll spiral again. Go on a bender and ruin his own future by losing control, just like always."
"Clayton," I hissed as he turned toward my living room. I should never have opened that door to begin with. I wanted him out. "You can't do that to him. He's just gotten sober, less than forty days. You can't—"
"Watch me," he snarled. When I stood in front of him, he nudged past me and stormed into my living room where he spotted my phone immediately.
"Don't you see how it will hurt him? Don't you care?" I couldn't believe what he was willing to do all to have the title of CEO of a company his father was clearly correct in not awarding to him. Clayton had no business as CEO of Locke Global.
Clayton snatched my phone up and turned on me like a viper ready to strike.
"Do you think I ever cared once what my brother feels?
" His teeth were gritted, spit flying between them as he spoke.
"I paid you half a million dollars with the intent to give you the second half-million, and all you had to do was record him fucking you…
That smutty kink talk he likes so much… And you have it here. I know it!"
He started trying to open my phone, typing in random number combinations into the lock screen, and I panicked.
There was a very slim chance he'd ever guess my passcode, but I couldn't take that chance.
I reached out and slapped the phone out of his hand and it fell to the ground.
I watched the screen crack instantly but for good measure, I slammed my foot down on it over and over, my heel grinding into the screen to make any chance of recovery impossible.
"No. I won't help you break him." No tears came this time, only anger and rage.
I shoved him hard, and kept moving toward him as he straightened and stood his ground.
"You are a monster. You can destroy me all you want.
Sue me, make me file bankruptcy. Call me the whore who seduced him and ruin my life, but don't hurt him.
" I raised my hand to slap him, but he caught my wrist and grinned at me wickedly.
"You love him," Clayton said calmly. "You actually love him." He shook his head, offered a look of pity and disdain.
"Shut up!"
"It's such a pity… A man his age nailing such a beautiful, busty woman like you.
" Clayton backed me up now, moving me toward the front door where my back was pinned.
He had my wrist in his hand and a glare on his face.
"He's old enough to be your father, and you're giving him a baby.
So sweet. but such a shame he won't be able to move past your deception.
And very fitting that he makes you call him daddy since he's so much older than you.
" He chuckled as I felt color drain from my face.
"I hate you," I hissed, knowing somehow, he'd overheard us having sex at some point.
"I know… And I'm okay with that. Now stay out of my way or this will get far worse for you." Clayton finally loosed my wrist and reached for the door knob. "If I were you, I'd be typing my resume up. You’re going to need it because you'll be in the unemployment line soon."
The entire building shook when he slammed my door and stormed out as I sank to my knees by the shattered phone. I had no way to call Asher and warn him, no way to tell him my side of things before Clayton ruined it.
Why hadn't I listened to Regan to begin with?
And why had I ever thought that taking a bunch of money in exchange for something so rotten would ever be okay?
My heart was shattering to a million pieces. I had to get to Asher, but I knew by the time I did, it would be too late.