Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
“Tell me we never have to go back,” Mandy said as she lay on the bow of the sailboat.
Damien tilted the sail and watched her sun herself, looking relaxed and beautiful, arm flung over her eyes.
He had the urge to suggest they toss over their lives back in New York and sail off in the vast ocean and never look back.
Pretend the real world didn’t exist and that they could just have each other, idyllic days in the sun, and nights spent naked, locked in intimacy.
But Damien was no dreamer.
And even the ocean wasn’t calm every day.
“Maybe it will be warm when we get back tomorrow.” He scanned the horizon and told himself he didn’t care.
That it didn’t matter to him that this was the end of his time with Mandy.
But his heart wasn’t quite as frozen as he’d thought, and it ached—a feeling he had meant to avoid for the rest of his life. It was a good thing they were leaving in the morning. Any longer and that ache might compel him to an action he would regret.
“That’s no consolation,” she said, turning from her side to her back, wearing another little nothing of a yellow bikini. She had told him the two-piece she owned made her feel like her growing stomach pulled the fabric up her bum.
Whatever the reason, he found it hard to concentrate when she was half-naked.
She sighed. “It will probably be raining. And I have no clothes that fit. And Caroline Davidson who works in accounting is my roommate. She happens to be getting married next month and I’m a bridesmaid, which is ridiculous.
I tried to bow out gracefully, pointing out that my dress no longer fits, but Caroline wouldn’t hear of it.
So I have an appointment to have the dress altered next week, though I don’t see how they can alter it unless they cut a hole in the middle. ”
Damien eyed her stomach and laughed. “You’re exaggerating. Most people have bigger stomachs than that after Thanksgiving dinner.”
She opened one eye and peeked from under her arm. “I’m whining, aren’t I?”
“A little.”
She gave a rueful smile. “Well, can’t you whine a little, too? That would make me feel better. What is waiting to attack you when you get back?”
“I’m going to Boston at the end of the week for a customer briefing. And I have a meeting on Wednesday with the developers. But that’s all normal stuff.” He grinned when she curled her lip in disgust, obviously unimpressed. “I have a dentist appointment. Does that help?”
“No.” She ran her hand idly over her stomach. “I have an ultrasound scheduled in a few weeks and I have to drink three glasses of water before I go, and they won’t let me go to the loo until the test is done. I’ve heard it’s just agony. ”
“I have to get a crown. That’s agonizing, too,” he protested. It wasn’t something he was looking forward to.
“Aren’t you kind of young for a crown? How old are you anyway?” Mandy looked at him suspiciously, like he was forty-five and trying to hide it.
“Thirty-three. And I have a sweet tooth that gets me into trouble.” He smiled at her and adjusted the sail so they would turn around and start back to the shore. “Didn’t you notice how many cookies I ate at lunch?”
“I did make note of that.” Then she shrieked when a spray of ocean water soaked the front of her from hair to thighs. “That’s cold!”
Damien laughed as she sat up shaking herself. “It is not cold. It’s seventy-five-degree water.”
Mandy didn’t like his answer. She leaned over and tossed a handful of water in his direction before he realized what she was doing. Warm water hit his face and bare chest.
Damien blinked and shook his head so the water scattered. “Definitely warm.”
She laughed. “You idiot.”
“What? What did I do?” He leaned toward her, thinking it would be a really great idea to kiss her right now.
Mandy must have thought he was going to splash her or some other form of retribution because she quickly scooted backward. “No, don’t!”
Only her laughter cut out when she lost her balance and rocked precariously. Damien shot his arms out and grabbed her before she tumbled over the side of the boat. “Careful now.”
He settled her onto his lap, away from the edge, and took a deep breath to slow down his racing heart. She’d scared the shit out of him for a split second there.
“You rescued me,” she said, her chocolate brown eyes melting as she looked at him.
He had a funny feeling that the opposite was true. She had rescued him. As she dusted her lips over his, and her bottom pressed into his thighs, her breasts firm and warm on his chest, Damien held her to him.
“It was nothing.” And if he kept telling himself that, maybe he’d believe it.
Mandy pulled back and raised her eyebrows suggestively. “Ever hooked up on a boat?”
“No.” Damien gave in to the pleasure of caressing her backside, but refrained from anything else. “And I’m not going to today either, since we’re fifty feet from shore.”
Mandy looked over her shoulder at the beach and let out a sigh. “Oh, damn. That’s really a shame.”
Her mournful expression made him laugh. “What do you want to do now? We could play water volleyball, or go for a donkey ride on the beach. No, never mind. The donkey ride doesn’t sound safe. We could go back to my room, and I could lick you all over and make you come. I’ll let you decide.”
Moistening her lips, she smiled, a slow, sensual smile. “As fond as I am of donkeys, I’ll choose the third option.”
The boat hit the sand, and they lurched to a stop. Mandy’s ass smashed into his erection. “Good choice,” he said through clenched teeth.
The plane was quiet, the sun-soaked passengers lethargic. A Julia Roberts movie was playing on the TV monitors, but Mandy hadn’t bothered to plug in her headphones. She was content to just lean on Damien’s arm, a blanket wrapped over her.
Definitely a little different than the trip down.
Then she had been avoiding Damien. Now she didn’t want to let him go, knowing this was it.
Their last few hours together. But they weren’t talking about that.
Damien was telling her about his apartment and the renovations he was making to it, taking down some walls to open up the space.
She was content to just listen to him, interjecting an occasional comment or thought, but mostly she just wanted to feel his nearness, the rumble in his chest as he spoke, the rise and fall of his breathing. The way he squeezed her waist to emphasize a point as he talked.
“Where will you live after the baby is born?” he asked.
“Since Caroline’s getting married and moving to the Upper East Side, I’ll have the room to myself.
And Jamie and Allison swear they don’t mind sharing an apartment with a baby, but I don’t know.
It seems like a lot to ask of them, with all the mess and the noise.
We’ll see how it goes after the baby is born. ”
“They must be good friends.”
“They are. The best.” Mandy stifled a yawn, ready for a nap.
She was getting addicted to the midday naps she’d been taking on this trip.
“I met Jamie in my shop when she was looking for a gift for her niece. She needed another roommate, and we hit it off. That was three years ago. Jamie and Allison went to NYU together, and Allison went to high school in Connecticut with Caroline, so they’ve all known each other awhile.
I was the latecomer to the group and yet I feel like we’ve been friends forever.
“You’ll like them,” she said without thinking, sleepy.
“I doubt I’ll ever meet Jamie and Allison, Mandy.”
That jerked her out of her semi-slumberous state. His words were a harsh reminder of what the rules for their relationship were. Rule number one—there was no relationship.
“You’re right.” She gave a forced laugh. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m just tired.”
She could feel the force of his stare on her, but she refused to look up at him. She didn’t want him to see the desire she knew would be reflected in her eyes. They couldn’t get involved, she knew that. And if he changed his mind, she might not be able to resist changing hers.
But she had to resist. This was not the time for her to embroil herself in another relationship with a man when she had a baby to think about.
She knew that. She did. But knowing it and liking it were two different things.
“If we could...” Damien kissed the top of her head. “I want you, Mandy, I do. Very much. But I can’t…and I want more for you than I can give you.”
He sounded so anguished, she couldn’t bear it. She turned and looked up at him, taking his chin with her hand.
“Hey, hey, it’s all right, Damien. I understand. This is what we agreed on, and this is the right thing to do. But I’m so very glad we had this time together, and the only thing I regret is that it has to end.”
If he said it didn’t have to end, Mandy seriously doubted she could say no to him at that moment. He was looking at her so intensely, as though he wanted to see inside her soul, his grip on her tightening.
But he just said, “No regrets. Just good memories, and that’s more than I expected.”
Somehow that didn’t seem like enough.