28. Natalie
28
NATALIE
I glanced at my phone. Three texts from James in as many days, and I still couldn’t find the right words to respond to him. He said he wanted to talk.
I wasn’t ready, and I wasn’t sure I ever would be. There was no point, really. He’d made his choice, and it wasn’t me. What else was there to be said?
I could blame my workload for ignoring him, because the Pantone launch was keeping us stupid busy, but the truth was the texts felt…insincere. Almost like he was just checking in on me to make sure I wasn’t going to burn down the Branson building or go on the record with horrifying behind-the-scenes gossip. Not that he needed my help making headlines. He and Heidi were all over the tabloids with stories about her latest struggles. I’d watched it unfold knowing that it was probably killing James to be associated with the train wreck. They were officially broken up now.
Not that it mattered to me in the slightest.
“Listen up, it’s the end of day social media recap on the Pantone launch,” Calliope yelled as she walked into the creative room holding her phone over her head. “Gather round, people.”
We surged towards her as a group, nervous and hopeful. It was our first time launching something under our own leadership and we had our pride on the line, as well as the numbers. Of course, I wanted James to see what we were capable of without him.
What I was capable of.
I’d been running our department since he’d left, still juggling it with being his assistant and farming out the CEO responsibilities as well. I was exhausted, grumpy, and for the first time ever, doubting if Branson was right for me after all. I’d been hired for my creative vision, my hands-on design work, yet here I was overseeing everyone else doing the job I loved. Not that I could let on that I was unhappy. I didn’t want my mood impacting everyone else, so I faked it.
Rhea bustled in beside me. “This is still so strange for me, getting instant results. Back in my day we published in print magazines and had to hold our breath for months to see what the world thought. Now, we just push a button, and bim-bam-boom, it’s all out there!”
“I think I would’ve liked the old way,” I replied. “Everything moves so fast these days. I can barely keep up.”
She turned to scan me, frowning. “You look so tired. Are you okay?”
The way she asked the question made it clear it wasn’t just about work. “I’m fine. Just worried about the response to the launch, you know?”
Rhea stared at me a beat longer, skeptical but silent for a change.
Lavonte joined us. “I already have intel, ladies,” he whispered.
We turned to stare at him. “Well? Is it good?” I asked.
He shook his head, frowning. “I wouldn’t say that.”
“No!” Rhea exclaimed. “How is that possible? This is some of our best work!”
Lavonte’s grim expression slowly shifted to a wide smile. “It’s not good, it’s amazing ! Everyone is going bonkers for it.”
“Hey, eyes on me folks,” Calliope said, clapping her hands. “I have metrics on our posts as well as a bunch of our influencers’ posts, plus I’ve been tracking our day-of sales… People, I’m thrilled to tell you that we’re setting new records!”
We all broke into applause. Pride swelled inside of me, for what I’d contributed as well as how the team came together.
“Natalie’s idea to send the steamer trunks filled with samples to our influencer partners and celebrities who wear us means we’re dominating every FYP at the moment. The unboxing footage is unreal. Mona Miller did a try-on series and every single piece she featured is now backordered.”
I blushed. I’d stolen the idea from Beyonce, but no one seemed to care. All that mattered was that it had worked.
“Greta’s year 2000 vest has been a surprise standout,” Calliope continued. “And the number one seller? Any guesses?”
Everyone spoke at the same time.
“It’s Lavonte’s year 2012 reimagined velour track suit in Tangerine Tango! It’s everywhere !”
He jumped up and down and plucked at the orange sweatsuit he was wearing. “I knew it!”
I grabbed Lavonte’s arm and gave him a squeeze. “That’s so cool!”
He leaned closer to me. “Hey, we both know that the sweatsuit was your idea, you just didn’t have the time to execute it. Thanks for trusting me with it.”
It was kind of him to acknowledge that I’d been the one to do a quick sketch of the iconic staple. I would’ve loved to take on the full project, from concept to completion, but there were too many other responsibilities for me to worry about, so I let Lavonte run with it.
“Let’s have a big round of applause for our leader, Natalie,” Calliope said, gesturing to me. “She’s juggling, like, seven jobs at the same time—and smashing every single one of them.”
I ducked my head and waved both hands, embarrassed by the attention.
“We need to celebrate, so I’ve got a giant table reserved at Bread and Butter, starting now,” Calliope said. “Dinner and drinks are on Branson, so pack up your stuff and meet me there!”
The room filled with whoops, and everyone dispersed to shut down their laptops. I trudged back to my desk and plopped down.
“Hey,” Rhea said. “Let’s go.”
I shook my head. “Can’t, at least not for a while. I still need to get the paperwork going for Lorraine’s replacement, and then I have to go through some new resumes for Clint’s position.”
“Still no one yet, huh?” she asked. “Why don’t you step into his role for real? You’ve been doing an incredible job so far.”
I shook my head vigorously. “Oh, no way. This is not what I signed on for.”
“You miss it, huh? The hands-on design stuff.”
“So much.” I sighed. “But I’m doing what needs to be done so…” I shrugged.
“Well, you’ll be back to designing soon enough, don’t worry.”
I gave her a wan smile but didn’t answer. I still wasn’t sure what my future looked like, but I was positive that it didn’t involve managing other people doing my dream job.
The room cleared out in a flash, and I felt like I could finally exhale. I grabbed my phone and scrolled to my music. Definitely no Beyonce. I selected a low-key ambient music station that would be soft enough to help me focus. I propped my head on my hand and closed my eyes, letting the relaxing tones wash over me.
My arm slipped off my desk and I jerked awake. It was dark outside. How long had I been asleep? Fuck, I had so much to do, and I was starving.
The music cut off abruptly, and I wondered if my phone went dead. I grabbed it and realized that it was plugged in. Was it Wi-Fi problems? I pushed back from my drafting table as a loud buzz sounded from the speakers.
“ The Rogue’s Rebuttal, by Erin Woodley ,” a loud voice echoed around the room.
I frowned. How was my audiobook collection being broadcast? It wasn’t like I had the time to enjoy them, so I hadn’t touched my audiobook app in ages. And when had I purchased a new Woodley book? I’d never even heard of this one. I looked at my phone again and saw that it was still paused on the ambient station.
“Prologue,” the familiar narrator’s voice rang out. “A true rogue never apologizes for his sins. It was a lesson that I needn’t have been taught, as the heir to a vast shipping fortune. Plunder and pillage had been the way of life for my ancestors, until we finally stepped into a supposedly more genteel way of living. Still, though, the lessons of my pirate forefathers lived on within me, the first being, your reasoning is never wrong .”
I snorted. Billionaires were all the same, even the old-timey ones. I decided to let the audiobook keep playing.
“It was a woman who finally showed me the error of my ways. A woman unlike any I’d known before. A woman of grace and beauty, but more vexingly, a woman who didn’t bow to me.”
I smiled as I attached the start documents to an email. I liked this fictional badass heroine already.
“As I speak her name, the weight of it upon my tongue tastes bitter. For all of the ways I’ve failed her, and due to my desire to disobey my forefathers. I have to find the right words to apologize to the most beguiling woman I’ve ever encountered. To win back the incomparable Miss Natalie Reynolds.”
I froze. What ?
Maybe I was still asleep. How was this real? Because the narrator reading the book was the same one who’d read all of Erin Woodley’s books. And the writing style was undoubtedly Erin’s. Was it just an insane coincidence? But Natalie wasn’t a period-appropriate name for a book about a nineteenth century rogue!
“The truth was,” the narrator continued, “I was bewitched by her. But I hurt her terribly, and have been cast out because of it. My dearest Natalie has ignored my every attempt to reach her. Now, I need to be extraordinarily clever to show her I’ve learned the error of my ways. Because I would do nearly anything just to make her mine again.”
My eyes inexplicably filled with tears. Romance novels used to make me feel hopeful. I believed that true love was possible, but now I knew better.
“Natalie…”
The voice behind me made me jump, and I spun around in my chair to find James staring at me. I should’ve been used to him sneaking up on me by now, but once again he’d managed to scare the hell out of me. I was too confused to be angry.
“What are you doing here?” I sniffled and hoped that he couldn’t see my watery eyes from across the room. “You’re not supposed to come back for months. Are you unhappy with my work or something? Is that why you’re here? Because I’ll have you know that since I’ve been in charge of creative?—”
He frowned at me. “Natalie, no .” He sounded injured. “Were you not listening?” He pointed up towards the speakers.
I smacked my desk in frustration. “Is this about the sound system again? What the hell, James?”
He walked closer to me, and I ignored my body’s visceral reaction to being near him. At first, I thought he looked better than ever, like not seeing him in real life for so long had intensified all of the things I loved about his body. He seemed more muscular, as if he’d been spending all of his free time working out. But as he drew closer, I studied his face and realized that he was pale, with shadows beneath his eyes.
“Natalie, look,” he said, holding his phone out to me as he walked to my desk.
I refused to glance at his face, focusing my attention on his phone.
“Look closely at the cover of this book.”
I snatched it out of his hands and saw a typical-looking clinch-cover of a Regency romance. The woman was in a swirling purple gown with her head tipped back at an almost impossible angle and her eyes closed while the rake bent over her to plant a kiss on the side of her neck. Erin Woodley’s name in the typical scrolling font dominated the top quarter of the cover, as usual.
“Okay? And?”
James sighed with obvious frustration. “Look at the models, for god’s sake.”
I held his phone closer to my eyes, then gasped. “That’s me !” My mouth dropped open as I studied the rake. “And you!”
He nodded.
“Wait…does that mean my name… That wasn’t a coincidence? James, what the hell did you do?”
His lips turned up in the world’s smallest grin. “I called in a favor. The CEO of the media company that owns her publishing house is a friend of mine from the Glenhaven Club, and he owed me a favor. He introduced me to Ms. Woodley, and I asked her to help me out, in exchange for a donation to her favorite charity, since you’re such a fan of hers. Plus, you’re the reason I was introduced to her work. She’s very good. I’ve been reading all of her old books during my sabbatical.”
I could barely form a sentence. I realized that I probably looked like an idiot standing there with my mouth hanging open.
“She wrote the first chapter of The Rogue’s Rebuttal ,” James continued. He paused to stare at me. “She said the happily ever after is up to us.”
How was it possible that the mighty James Branson looked like a little boy in this moment?
“I don’t know what to say,” I finally managed.
James started to reach for me but stopped himself. “Say we can talk things through. That you’re open to hearing me out. I have a lot to tell you, Natalie.”
My heart swelled at the naked emotion in his voice. I wanted to believe what he’d said through the audiobook. It was a beautiful gesture.
But then I realized that that was all the thing was. A gesture. He’d used his money and connections very effectively to manufacture a situation that would appeal to me, but that just meant that I was an emotional mess while he was cool as a cucumber. It might work for some of the women he dated, but I wanted something real, not just a fancy gift with an astronomical price tag. And speaking of the women he dated, he’d literally just ended things with Heidi. Did he really think I’d welcome him back while his sheets probably still smelled like her perfume?
If I listened to what James had to say I had no doubt I’d fall for it. The man was smart, and he knew me very well, knew how to get the response he wanted out of me. It didn’t help that I was so hungry to touch him that I had to keep backing away from him, to keep my hand from accidentally connecting with him and short-circuiting my logic.
“Can we get out of here and talk?” James asked. “Please?”
There was an edge in his voice that almost sounded like begging.
Didn’t matter. My guard was way up.
“No.” I shook my head. “I’m sorry, there’s nothing you can say that will change things, James.”
Now it was his turn for his mouth to drop open. “What? Seriously , Natalie?”
I crossed my arms and hoped that my resolve would last. “It doesn’t matter what you want to tell me, my mind is made up.”
His face turned stormy. “So nothing I say to you will matter. Is that what you’re telling me?”
“I don’t see how any words can undo what you did.”
The air between us sparked with static. I could almost feel the heat wafting from his body. As much as I wanted to put distance between us, I held my ground.
His beautiful face looked tormented, with his brows drawn down and his mouth twisted into a frown.
“Do you want to know the truth?” he demanded.
I shrugged. “Go ahead, if you want.” You always do what you want anyway.
His expression softened a little, and his eyes searched my face. I refused to give him any indication of what was going on inside of me. That the tiniest flicker of hope had ignited deep within me.
“I fell in love with you, Natalie,” he whispered. “ That’s what I need you to know.”
My eyes filled with tears at his confession.
It was exactly what I wanted to hear…and it didn’t change a thing between us.
I cleared my throat and swallowed the lump in my throat. “You know what? It doesn’t matter that you think you love me. You’ll always love Branson Designs more. We both know it’s true. And I’m sorry, but when it comes to love, I will always put the person I love first—and I won’t accept him doing anything less for me.”
I clenched my teeth together and stared back at him as his face fell. How I wanted to break down and cry, but I wasn’t about to show him that kind of vulnerability. I didn’t trust him with it anymore.
His entire body sagged as he seemed to process what I’d told him.
“But I….” He gestured between us wordlessly. “You mean you don’t…”
I straightened my back, summoning the last bits of my reserve. “I’m sorry, James. You made your choice, and there’s no room for me in your life. Not in the way I deserve. Trust me, us saying goodbye now is for the best.”
I moved to my desk to collect my things, because I was seconds from an ugly crying breakdown. I wasn’t going to let him see just how badly I was hurting.
“Goodbye, James,” I said over my shoulder.
He stood behind me silently, as if he still couldn’t understand what was happening, then I heard his footsteps retreating from the room.
The moment the door shut behind him I dropped my head and let the tears flow.