39. Rose
ROSE
Six months later, everything's changed.
My smiling reflection gazes back at me from a full-length mirror, and I couldn't be happier.
A sun-kissed flush rests over the apples of my cheeks, dark mascara makes my eyes pop, and a loose, flowing white dress wraps around my body with enough firmness to be secure but enough stretch in the fabric that neither me nor my bump feels smothered by the lace.
Beyond the mirror, a gorgeous blue horizon kisses the edge of the ocean, and a handful of carefully chosen people make their way to the white seats lined up on the beach.
It's almost time.
The last time I stood like this, dressed in white with a man waiting for me at the altar, I was terrified.
My life was in shambles and I balanced on the edge of the knife with only one goal in mind: save my family.
Now, there's nothing but love in my heart and a giddy excitement that makes my stomach twist around on itself.
I'm going to get married.
Technically, it's just a vow renewal, but I don't care. I planned everything with my mother and sister.
I chose my dress, and Kon chose a suit to match. I picked out the music, the flowers, and the guests, chose Calvin to be my bridesman and watched as Kon asked Ethan to be his best man.
Neither of them will admit to being emotional about it, but I know the truth.
This is my real wedding.
"Are you ready?"
Beatie's voice rises up from behind me, then she steps into view in the mirror.
She's smiling widely, having just received her six-month clean chip a few days ago, and she wears the pride well.
Dressed in a gorgeous peach dress, her hair spills around her shoulders and her teeth are white enough to almost make me jealous.
"Yes," I say with a deep breath and turn toward her. "I'm ready."
"Are you sure?" She narrows her eyes. "Do you need to pee again? We can do that really quick. Or if you're craving pickles again, Calvin left a jar just outside with the flowers."
"I'm okay," I assure her. "Truly. I feel… amazing, actually."
"Excellent!" Beatie beams. "Okay, let's get you down that aisle before your ankles swell up."
"Wow," I snort, taking my bridal bouquet from her. "You really know how to make a girl feel beautiful on her wedding day."
"You do look beautiful," Beatie smiles, and a hint of tears sparkles in her eyes. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."
"Aw!" My face crumples immediately.
"Don't cry! Your makeup!" Beatie rushes forward and grasps my hand. "Don't cry!"
"You're so sweet!"
"Save the tears for Kon, okay?" Beatie cups my face with both hands, her bouquet tucked under her armpit, and she smoothes her thumbs across my cheeks to catch any stray tears.
"I love you, Beatie."
"I know. I love you too." Once she's satisfied my makeup remains in place, she loops her arm around my own and kisses my cheek. "Come on, let's get you married."
Soft classical music drifts down the private beach Kon hired out for us.
The hot sun bakes down through the lace covering my shoulders, and several guards I recognize—including poor Michael, who thankfully recovered after I ran him over—smile widely as I follow the white fabric rolled across the sand toward where Kon stands.
He's framed by a large white arch covered in thousands of colorful flowers, their petals drifting ever so slightly in the breeze.
The salt of the sea catches in my lungs, and I tighten my grip on both Beatie and my mother's hands as they walk me slowly down the aisle.
This is the kind of wedding I always dreamed of. Kon didn't think twice about making it a reality when I mentioned, late one evening, that a real wedding for us would be so beautiful.
He put things in motion, hired everyone I could ever need to help me, and told me to build my dream.
Little does he know that I already have my dream.
Him.
And the adorable little baby growing inside me.
Kon straightens up as I approach, and not once does he take his eyes off me.
When we reach him, he carefully takes my hand from my mother and then thanks her and my sister for bringing me here safely.
"Hey," I whisper as we stand in front of the archway.
"Hey," he whispers right back. "You know we don't have to whisper."
"Oh." A giggle escapes me and my cheeks flush. "Are you okay?"
Kon's eyes wander over my face and then he locks onto my eyes. "More than okay."
Suddenly, Ethan steps around Kon and moves onto the small raised podium next to us.
My eyes widen as he digs into his pocket and pulls out a small square of paper and as he speaks, it clicks in my mind.
When Kon asked to be in charge of who would officiate this, he already knew exactly who was right for the job.
"Good afternoon," Ethan begins. "We are gathered here today to witness the precious vow renewal between Konstantin Belyaev and his darling wife, Rose Belyaevna.
When he asked me to officiate this, he told me not to drag my speech on for too long because he doesn't like being the center of attention. "
A small murmur of laughter rises through the crowd and Kon shoots Ethan a look of daggers.
"I told him that I would do just that, but before I hand you over to the two best people I have ever known, I want to say that in all my years by Kon's side, I have never seen him happier or more full of life than in these past months since Rose came into his life.
I think I speak for all of New York when I say Kon has also gained a slightly merciful side that I hope to never see, because if I do then I'll know I've done something wrong. "
More laughter and Kon rolls his eyes, fixating his attention on me.
I smile back and stroke my thumb over his knuckles.
"Well, you've heard enough from me." Ethan tilts his head. "I believe our boss has something he'd like to say."
Kon glances affectionately at Ethan, then he takes a deep breath and looks into my eyes.
There's a flicker of apprehension there and for the first time in his life, Kon might actually be nervous.
"Rose," he says quietly. "I never thought I was built for a life of the mundane.
Everything, for as far back as I can remember, has been at top speed with no time or chance to take a moment and enjoy what others take for granted.
I thought I would live my life fast and hard until the sun set on me.
Until I met you. First, you kept pace with me, and I thought I'd found someone who would race through life with me.
But the more I got to know you, the more I realized I did not want that.
All of a sudden, I found myself wanting life to move slower so I could enjoy more time with you.
I fall asleep each night with the blessing of knowing I'll wake up with you in my arms. I live with the luxury of seeing your clothes next to mine in the dresser, your toothbrush next to mine, and your bottles of conditioner next to mine.
I now live with the mundane and find myself looking at the world differently, all so I can come home with stories to tell you because I know you will listen to each one.
And then I get the gift of listening to you tell me about your day while knowing I get to live like this for the rest of my life.
I never thought I was built for a life of the mundane, but with you I now know that the mundane is a luxury I am blessed with, because it gives me a life with you that I would not trade for the world.
I love you, Rose. I will always love you and I will spend the rest of my life showing you just how true that is. "
I can't hold it together.
Every word plays with my already overstimulated emotions, and halfway through Kon's speech, I burst into tears.
It takes all my effort to keep them quiet but by the end, I'm trembling and weeping while Calvin presses tissue after tissue into my free hand.
"Are you okay?" Kon's brows pinch together with worry and I quickly nod my head.
"I'm fine," I gasp through the tears. "That was beautiful and I'm pregnant, so you're kind of an asshole!"
Laughter rumbles through our guests while Kon smiles and steps closer to me.
"An asshole you love."
"True," I wail. "I didn't prepare anything even half as beautiful as that!"
"You're here and you're beautiful while carrying my child," Kon says softly. "Nothing can top that."
"Oh god!" I roll my eyes and dab at my tears. "You're making it worse!"
He laughs softly and then cradles my cheek with his warm, rough hand. "Take your time, darling."
"God, I hate you," I mutter under my breath, sniffling deeply. It takes me a few long moments to compose myself and once I do, I doubt it will hold as I look back into his gorgeous eyes.
"When we… when we met, I thought my life was over.
I thought I was giving myself to the wolves to save the rest of my little lamb family.
I won't sugarcoat how scared I was but there's something incredible about you, Kon.
Even from the first day, you treated me gentler than anyone else has in my entire life.
I suddenly felt like you saw me in a way no one else had.
It was difficult, given everything that was going on, but the one thing that stuck out to me was that I felt safe with you.
At that time, it was the most important thing for me and even now, it's important—but I live in the comfort of knowing that I am safe with you.
You've given me space to grow and heal, both emotionally and physically.
You've listened to me, you've heard me even when I've had nothing to say.
You've loved every part of me and you've let me under the layers that scare everyone else away.
I hope… I hope I can be that same kind of safe place for you.
I hope I can make you feel as safe as I feel when we're together, that I can be the same pillar for you as you are for me.
I hope I can make you feel as loved as you make me feel, because there's not a day that goes by that I don't smile just at the thought of you.
You've taken care of me in ways I didn't even know I needed, and I'm so eager to spend the rest of my life with you, building a world and a family together. I actually…"
Sniffling, I turn to Calvin who has a small black box waiting in his palm.
He flashes me an encouraging smile as I take it, and as I turn back, I glimpse the crying faces of my mother and sister.
"I have a surprise for you," I say softly.
"I found out the sex of our baby and if you want to know, it's in this box.
I had the news made into a little bracelet that our baby will get when they're older.
And there's one for you and me too." I lift my eyes and hold Kon's gaze.
"I'm so excited to build a family with you, Kon, and after everything, I know we will be the best family there is. "
Kon's gaze drops to the box and then back to me. "Do you know?"
I nod. "I know."
"I want to know too."
He takes the box from me and slowly opens the lid.
A black onyx bracelet wraps around a red ruby bracelet symbolizing Kon and me, and in the middle is a tiny pink topaz bracelet that glitters in the sunlight.
When Kon lifts his gaze, his eyes sparkle with tears.
"A girl?" he croaks softly. "We are having a little girl?"
"Yes!" I laugh and whimper at the same time. "We're having a little girl!"
Cheers rise up from the crowds, and from Ethan and Calvin, while Kon sweeps me carefully up into his arms and plants a deep, heavy kiss against my lips.
He keeps one arm around me and cups my cheeks with the other, gazing lovingly into my eyes.
"I love you, Rose," he murmurs against my lips. "I love you so much. You are going to be an utter delight as a mother. I could not be prouder."
I wind my arms around his neck, abandoning my bouquet in favor of sinking my fingers into his hair and pulling him close as we kiss.
"I love you too," I whimper through my tears, and happiness swells up in my chest.
This is the life I have now.
I'm going to be the best wife and mother I can be, all within the safety of the arms of the man who loves and adores me.
There's nowhere in the world I would ever rather be.