Chapter 45
LET HIM GIVE YOU AN ORGASM IN A BUBBLE BATH. #LIFEADVICE
DAKOTA
Axel’s lips were soft, and this time, whatever he’d been holding back came completely undone. His fingers threaded through my hair gently, his eyes sweeping over the wound on my head to make sure he wouldn’t hurt me.
I pulled back to whisper one loud declaration. “I love you too.”
A moment. A beat of our hearts, and then Axel crashed his lips to mine.
The kiss took on a life of its own. Our bodies pressed together with all the unleashed passion we’d both been denying for years. I trailed my hands down his chest, feeling every ridge and dip of muscle that tightened with each movement of his body.
And with each movement, he ignited that familiar heat coiling in my lower belly, that throb between my thighs that made me want to feel these magnetic lips everywhere. Made me want to pull him on top of me and finally, finally …
God, if only I didn’t feel so dirty and gross right now.
It was massively inconvenient—the dried blood streaked through my hair and down my neck, staining my dress.
Equally inconvenient that instead of smelling like roses, the antiseptic scent of the hospital clung to my skin.
Neither exactly the ingredients for a romantic encounter.
And not just any romantic encounter. The romantic encounter. The one I’d pretended I hadn’t dreamed about for years. The one I’d fantasized about alone in my bed, in the quiet darkness of my room, pretending it was Axel’s hands on my body.
Because looking back on it now, I realized that every step we’d taken over the last few years had been centered around each other.
The truth hit me like ice water in my veins, sharp and sudden and impossible to ignore. Mathew had once held my affection. But Axel?
Axel had always had my bones.
He lived in the marrow of me, in that primal place where logic went to die.
Every cell in my body still turned toward him like a plant seeking sun, even after he’d learned to look through me as if I were made of glass.
Even after he’d trained himself to grimace when I entered a room, as if my very presence burned.
I’d buried this want so deep, I’d almost convinced myself it was dead. Almost.
But all these years, he’d invaded my thoughts.
I’d replayed that moment outside Knox’s college home when some guy hit on me and Axel shoved him against the brick wall so hard, dust rained down.
The sound of the impact, the way his knuckles went white, gripping the guy’s collar.
Not because Knox asked him to, but because something fierce and possessive had flashed in those eyes, turning them almost black.
How at that party Knox invited me to, Axel had stationed himself in the corner, nursing a beer, his gaze tracking me through the crowd like a laser. Every time some drunk frat boy got too close, Axel would somehow materialize nearby, his muscular presence alone enough to send them scurrying.
The time I’d tripped on that sidewalk crack, how he’d scooped me into his arms without hesitation, my body flush against his chest. I remembered the sharp intake of his breath, the way his arms had tightened around me for just a second too long, like it was the excuse he’d been waiting for his whole life.
And, God, how he’d held me that starlit night, looking down at me while his smile slowly faded, his heart hammering so hard, I could feel it against my ribs as his gaze dropped to my mouth.
How his lips had parted and he’d drawn closer and closer, and I’d wanted his mouth on mine so badly, I could taste it.
Until Knox’s hand smacked Axel’s shoulder, bursting our bubble like a pin to a balloon.
Yes. For years, I’d relived those moments, couldn’t stop thinking about him, even when I desperately wanted to. Even as the years stretched on with no contact between us.
I’d asked myself why I found myself comparing every man to Axel. Why, even in the early days with Mathew, I’d wondered what it would feel like to have Axel’s hands on me instead. Why the sound of his name could make my stomach flip.
Because it hadn’t been just a crush, I realized.
It had been recognition. Something my soul knew, even when my mind and heart fought against it.
Even when it was a relationship that could never—would never—be real, some part of me had been reaching for him across every room, every year, every carefully constructed wall I’d built.
And now, finally, he was here. In my arms. Real and solid and mine.
Axel pulled back slightly, his gaze sweeping over the dried blood streaked across my skin.
“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he murmured, stroking my cheek with his thumb. His voice was gentle, but I could hear the barely restrained hunger beneath it, the desperate edge of a man who wanted to take me here and now but was fighting every instinct to do exactly that.
Chicago’s biggest playboy could have had me in this moment. Hell, with any other woman, I bet he would have. But with me—God, with me—he cared enough to put my needs first. To make sure I wasn’t in pain. To ensure I felt clean and safe before we crossed this line we’d been dancing around for years.
He wanted to wash the stain of tonight’s attack away so that when we finally came together, it wouldn’t be in the shadow of violence and blood.
So that one of the most important memories of my life could be exactly what it deserved to be: just us, finally us, with nothing ugly standing between what we felt.
“I’m going to draw you a bath.” He kissed my forehead. A sweet, tender moment that lasted all of one second but penetrated straight through to my heart. With one last look into my eyes, checking to make sure I was okay, Axel set me down onto the bathroom floor.
Pressing my fingers to my lips, I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across my face as the sound of running water echoed against the tile.
“You have bubble bath?” I quirked an eyebrow.
“Came in one of those holiday gift baskets people always send.” Axel rolled up his sleeves, exposing the long lines of his forearms, which were deliciously covered in tattoos.
“Do you like baths?” I wondered aloud, trailing my finger along the white bubbles floating in the deep tub.
“No.” He shoved his hands into his pockets, tilting his head in a way that made me want to rip his clothes off right here and now. “I’ve never even drawn a bath before.”
“Never?”
“Not once.”
“Not even for another … girlfriend?” I wasn’t sure what to call his past non-relationships. The women he’d shared a bed with but nothing more, and after his confession about his ex-fiancée, I wasn’t about to use that term either.
“No,” Axel said simply, like it wasn’t the biggest confession ever. To hear him doing this for me. Only me. He reached up to sweep my hair over my shoulder. “We need to get you out of this dress.”
We. I could practically hear angels singing at that one word. Because the last thing I wanted was for Axel to leave right now.
“Can I stay?” he asked softly.
With those three words, I knew exactly what he was asking. He could leave me here to take this bath alone, or I could let him stay and help wash the darkness and violence off my skin.
I didn’t even hesitate. “Yes.”
With the water still running in the background, Axel stepped closer.
Still wearing his button-down shirt and suit pants, he motioned for me to turn around.
With my back to him, I swept my hair over one shoulder, feeling him there, hearing his breathing as his fingers gently grasped the zipper of my dress and slowly drew it down.
The fabric fell from my shoulders, down my arms, and caught on my hips. With my back bare, Axel delicately tugged the fabric over my hips and let it pool to the ground.
Wearing nothing but black lace panties, I turned.
For a moment, his gaze met mine. Then it slowly wandered down my entire body.
I could feel his stare everywhere: the heat of it on my collarbone, my breasts, my pebbled nipples, my abs, the space between my thighs.
His breathing changed, grew deeper, and a look of pain crossed his features, like it took every ounce of restraint to keep his hands off me.
I eyed the tub, then made a decision and dropped my panties to the ground.
Axel’s gaze snapped from mine to the space between my thighs. With his fingers twitching at his sides, he growled in a desperate command, “Dakota, get in the tub.” Like I’d better hurry, before his control snapped.
I held back my smile but accepted his hand for balance as I stepped into the tub and sank into the bubbles.
The water was warm, but not nearly as warm as the heat coming off Axel’s eyes as he took a seat on the tub’s edge, grabbed a soft white washcloth, dipped it beneath the water, and drew it along my neck.
When it came back coated in crimson, his body stilled.
“I’m sorry this happened to you.”
“We don’t know for sure it was some Mafia guy,” I reminded him. “It could have been a random act of violence. Or an obsessed fan online that turned violent.” The thought made me shudder. “Maybe I’ve been reckless with my online business. Dangerous.”
He stilled, tilting my chin up to look at him. “Don’t you dare do that. Do not blame yourself. This isn’t on you, Dakota.”
“I’m not blaming myself. I’m wondering if there could have been unintended consequences with always trying to look picture-perfect online.”
“You’re allowed to be exactly who you want to be.”
I drew water over my arms, keeping my voice gentle. “Can we just pretend this whole attack thing didn’t happen for right now?” Because, God, I had dreamed of a moment like this for so long; I didn’t want whoever attacked me to steal even more from me than they already had.