Chapter 44 #2
“I secretly did something for you too.” The words tumbled out before I could stop them.
His eyebrows rose, and I felt heat creep up my neck.
“I told myself I was crazy for it at the time, but I hated the way some people would come for you online. Calling you a playboy, making nasty comments about your dating life.”
His expression shifted, surprise flickering across his features.
“Knowing algorithms became my profession, so when someone would start to troll you, I knew exactly how to try and squash it.” Too bad our PR crisis was too big to solve with the same strategy.
I couldn’t meet his eyes, focusing instead on the buttons of his shirt.
“I had one anonymous alternate account I used for my business, for creative testing and whatnot. Used it to boost positive comments of you by engaging with them early—likes, replies, shares—knowing the algorithm would push them to the top while the negative ones got buried.”
“Dakota …”
“And when there was bad press about your dating life, I’d time my own viral posts to push your negative stories out of the trending cycle.
I even created positive content that would rank higher in search results than the nasty articles.
” I finally looked up at him, vulnerability written all over my face.
“I was consumed by you, too, even if I didn’t want to be.
I couldn’t stand watching people tear you apart online when you’d always been there for my family. ”
His thumb traced my cheek, and something raw and wondering filled his expression. “You protected me.”
“Like you protected me,” I whispered. “We were both taking care of each other from the shadows, weren’t we?”
He nodded, something fierce and tender crossing his face. “And I was too consumed by you to stay with her.”
My throat felt tight. His thumb moved to trace my lower lip, and I fought not to lean into his touch.
“Staying with her would make me just as bad as my parents. Pretending to love someone, pretending to be happy. Living a lie.”
“So, you ended it.”
“The day before we were going to go public on social media.” His hand dropped, and I immediately missed its warmth.
“Did the guys know?” Because, hello, even though he’d said no one knew, I thought they knew everything about each other.
He shook his head. “Should have been a red flag that I never wanted to tell them.” He dragged both hands through his hair, leaving it perfectly messy.
“First, it was because they’d give me shit about settling down.
You know how I am—was—about commitment. Then, the longer I waited, the weirder it got.
Like, how do you casually drop, Oh, by the way, I’ve been dating someone, and now I’m engaged, into poker night? ”
Despite everything, I almost smiled at the mental image.
“Point is, I ended it with her. It wasn’t fair to her to stay with someone who didn’t love her.
She deserved more.” His expression darkened, storm clouds gathering.
“She didn’t take it well. Destroyed my business from the inside out.
Stole clients, sabotaged deals. Left me scrambling to save everything I’d built. ”
“That’s why you need these investors.”
“Jace offered to help, but his capital was tied up in the acquisition of Scarlett’s company.” He waved a dismissive hand. “Besides, needed to fix my own mess.”
Typical Axel. Too proud to accept help, even when drowning.
He studied my face with an intensity that made me want to squirm. “After that, I went into overtime, keeping every woman at a safe distance. But then I saw you that night you took the photo.”
His voice went soft, reverent almost. “God, you looked so beautiful, Sunshine. I bet you didn’t notice I was staring at you across the room the whole time, drowning my sorrows in whiskey.
You looked …” He paused, searching for words.
“Lost. Like I felt. I wanted to come over and wrap my arms around you. I wanted to tell you it was you all along.”
My chest constricted. All those times I’d felt his eyes on me across crowded rooms, convinced myself I was imagining it.
All those moments I’d caught him staring, only to have him look away, cold and dismissive.
He’d been drowning too. Fighting the same magnetic pull that had been slowly driving me insane for years.
The thought that we’d both been suffering separately, unnecessarily, made me want to scream. Or cry. Or both.
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because.” He stepped closer, close enough that I had to press back against the wall. “If I finally confessed everything after all these years and you shut me down, there’d be no coming back from that. So, when that woman came up and started giving me attention …”
“You went back to your playbook.”
“I was desperate to feel something, anything, that wasn’t you.
” His eyes closed for a moment. “I thought maybe if I could force myself to want someone else, even for just a moment, I could bury what I felt for you deep enough that I wouldn’t do something stupid.
But it was like trying to use a match to put out a wildfire. ”
We stood there for a moment, the weight of his confession settling between us like a living thing. Years of misunderstandings. Years of him pushing me away while pulling me closer in his mind. Years of unnecessary pain.
“Do you know what killed me most?” His voice darkened. “Watching you with Mathew. Seeing him have everything I wanted, but couldn’t let myself have.”
My breath caught. “Is that why you were such an ass about him?”
“Every single time.” No hesitation. Pure honesty. “I wanted to be happy for you. Told myself you deserved someone good, someone whole. But every time I saw a photo of him …” His hands clenched into fists. “I wanted to tear him apart.”
The possessiveness in his voice should have scared me. Instead, it sent heat coursing through my veins.
“Axel …”
“I’m done fighting this.” His voice had gone rough, desperate, like something inside him was breaking free. “I’m done pretending I don’t want you. That I don’t need you like I need air.”
The space hummed like the moment before a lightning strike. Every nerve in my body was screaming for him to close the distance, to finish what we’d started in that car.
“Tell me you don’t feel this too,” he challenged, bracing his hands on either side of my head, caging me in. The position should have felt threatening. Instead, it felt like coming home. “Tell me that kiss meant nothing.”
“You know I can’t.”
“Then what are we doing, Sunshine?” His face was so close, I could feel his breath on my lips. “Why are we still pretending?”
My heart was racing so fast, I thought it might explode. “Because you’re complicated and messy and probably going to break my heart.”
“Probably?” That signature smirk appeared, but his eyes remained serious.
“Definitely.” I lifted my chin, defiant. “But apparently, I’m a masochist.”
His mouth was inches from mine now, his gaze dropping to my lips. “I’m trying to tell you that I’m in love with you. Have been for years. And if you don’t stop me in the next three seconds, I’m going to show you exactly how much.”
The challenge in his voice made something wild unfurl in my chest. I lifted my chin higher, meeting his intensity with my own.
“One.”
His eyes darkened to molten silver.
“Two.”
His hand slid into my hair, fingers tangling in the strands.
“Thr—”
He crashed his mouth to mine, and every coherent thought evaporated.
This wasn’t gentle or sweet or careful. This was years of pent-up desire exploding between us, consuming us both.
His tongue swept into my mouth, and I moaned, shameless, fingers fisting in his shirt, pulling him impossibly closer.
When he lifted me against him, I wrapped my legs around his waist without hesitation, like my body had been waiting for this moment forever.
As he carried me down the hallway, his mouth never leaving mine, hands gripping me like I might disappear, one thought echoed through my mind.
I am completely, utterly, and irrevocably in love.
And I wouldn’t have it any other way.