Chase
“Did she just tell us she’s been stuck in her wolf form for five years?
!” I ask, pushing my pink hair back from my face as I drop onto one of the logs surrounding the fire.
“Have you ever heard of anything like that before?” I turn my gaze to Gage.
If there is any info out there on a wolf shifter being stuck and unable to change back, he would have read about it.
“No. It’s unheard of, at least without being completely feral,” Gage answers, his head hung low as he leans over his knees.
“The average wolf who goes even a single month without shifting loses anywhere between sixty to ninety percent of their higher cognitive control, depending on environment and stressors. By six months, the regression is so complete that they no longer recognize their own kin, and they turn completely feral. Five years without shifting and still maintaining human thinking? By every account I’ve studied, that should be impossible. ”
“There isn’t an ounce of feral in her,” Maddox says, frowning at the fire.
“Not only that, but she’s the sweetest wolf I’ve ever met. Most wolf shifters, even females, have more aggressive tendencies in wolf form. But she seems so… tame,” Hunter says thoughtfully.
“Do you think someone kept her as their pet? And she escaped?” I ask, worried about the answer. “Is that why she was wearing a fucking muzzle?” Being kept as a pet for five years would be one of my worst nightmares.
“Fuck, I hope not,” Maddox grumbles, scrubbing a hand down his face.
“Even if that’s the case, it doesn’t explain why she hasn’t gone feral,” Gage says thoughtfully.
We sit in silence for a few minutes, and I imagine their thoughts are going down the same rabbit hole as mine, wondering who put that muzzle on her, and what they did to keep her from shifting.
I see fur sprouting on the back of Bain’s hands, his claws already fully extended.
A deep rumble has my head whipping toward Maddox, who’s staring at his own claws in confusion.
I’m not surprised at his reaction. I’ve never seen him partially shift before.
He’s the most in control wolf shifter I’ve ever met.
“How do we fix it?” I ask, hoping that the distraction of a plan will help them pull back control. I’d hate for her to see them losing their shit like this. It's likely to terrify her. “How do we help her?”
“I think we keep doing what we’ve been doing,” Gage says, his body on edge as his eyes bounce between Maddox and Bain. “Take it slow, let her warm up to us.”
“But how long will that take? Why did she start pulling away tonight? I don’t understand,” I grumble, running my hands through my hair, confused by her change of attitude.
“I’m not sure,” Maddox says, shaking out his claw-free hands as he finally gets control of his wolf. “She seems to be blaming herself for not shifting, and that’s causing her to put distance between us. Not because it will help, but because…”
“Because she thinks she’s broken and doesn’t deserve to be around us,” Gage finishes for him. My eyes widen in horror as I stare at him.
She doesn't think that, does she?
“Shit,” Hunter and I swear in unison.
Is that how she sees herself? Broken? No wonder she can’t shift.
“All we can do is keep reassuring her that she’s doing everything right, and it will come with time. She needs to relax,” Gage tries to reassure us, but I don’t buy it. I heard what he said earlier about how she should be completely feral by now.
Why isn’t my mate bond helping her shift? Is she not my mate after all? Everyone seems to be acting like she’s theirs, although nobody’s spoken about it out loud.
Maybe it is time to change that.
I lick my lips and glance around before asking, “Shouldn't the pull of a potential mate bond help her shift?” All eyes shoot to me in confusion and surprise.
“What do you mean?” Maddox asks carefully. I glance at the others, but they’re all frowning at me now. Oh well… In for a penny as they say.
I let out a huff as I meet Maddox’s intense gaze. “Enough beating around the bush, Mad. I think she’s my mate, but I don’t think I’m the only one who feels that way.”
“I feel it too,” Hunter says immediately, filling me with relief that at least he and I are in this together. I give him a grateful smile, which he returns with a nod.
“As do I,” Gage says as he drops his head and pinches the bridge of his nose. Maddox turns to Bain, and they stare each other down, almost as if challenging the other to admit it.
Without breaking eye contact, Bain finally growls out, “She can’t be fated to all of us.”
“And yet we all feel the pull,” Maddox says with a sigh.
“Speak for yourself,” Bain snaps back.
Maddox presses his lips together with a frown, then shakes his head in disappointment. Which means he believes Bain feels the same way, even if he isn’t admitting it.
Glancing around at the rest of us, Maddox tells us, “It doesn’t matter right now. There’s nothing we can do with this information. We won’t know for sure until she shifts. We might all just feel extra protective because of how we found her.”
More seriously, he adds, “And whether she’s fated to one of us, or none of us, she's in our pack now, and she's ours to protect.”
He turns to me as he adds, “To answer your question, I’m not sure that the mate bond would help her shift unless she’s fully bonded.”
“What do we do then? She doesn’t want us near her right now,” I say, feeling frustrated with the entire situation.
I know she’s my mate, and it’s killing me not to go into the cave and pull her into my lap and tell her everything is going to be okay, that no matter what happens, I’ll be here for her.
She just needs to give in to those feelings. I know she has them too. The way she seeks comfort from all of us makes it clear to me that she’s feeling the pull too.
“We give her space, if that’s what she wants,” Maddox answers my question, staring at the ground in front of him.
“I feel like we’re going backward!” I whisper in agitation.
“So what? You want to force her to be near us?” Gage asks angrily.
“No!” I let out a deep breath and run my hands through my hair, trying to calm myself down. “No, of course not. I just… I don’t like this. I want to fix it. Kill the bad guy, bring her gifts, anything that will make her happy.”
“And who knows how long this will take. We’ve already been here for two weeks,” Hunter says, sounding as frustrated as I am.
“Well, I’m not going anywhere,” I say stubbornly as I cross my arms over my chest.
“Maybe we should consider taking her back home now? Being around more human things could help her shift,” Gage suggests.
Would that help? It might. Being surrounded by human things could definitely drive her human side to push through.
But the main reason we haven’t done that yet is because that would also subject her to the Westgrove Pack and other people.
Without knowing where she’s coming from, or what she’s running from, she might not feel safe.
Not only that, but they will think she’s a feral rogue. Alpha Kane might not even allow her to stay.
“You know why we can’t yet,” Maddox says with a sigh.
“We could ask her?” I suggest. “She kind of answered your question earlier. We could explain the reasons why we think it would be good for her to go there and see if she wants to go.”
Everyone sits in silence for a minute as they consider it.
“Okay, how about tomorrow afternoon, after we visit the pond, if we all agree, we’ll ask her then? That will give us all a chance to think about this and the repercussions,” Maddox suggests, and I nod eagerly. Any plan is better than doing nothing at this point, and it eases my tension.
Bain moves to sleep in front of the cave entrance, to protect her, while the rest of us get comfortable around the fire.
My final thoughts as I drift off are of all the exciting things I’ll get to show her at our house.
I wonder if she likes video games? Or what her favorite movie is? Does she like tacos?
The next day, our little wolf exhibits the same behavior as the night before. She doesn’t sit close to anyone and won’t let us feed her, turning her head when we try. She does eat some cooked rabbit left in the cave for her, so at least she’s eating. She just doesn’t want to eat with us.
I rub my chest as the thought of her not wanting to be near me makes my heart literally ache. I hate feeling like this.
I glance over to where she’s still lying in the cave entrance and grind my jaw in agitation. She looks miserable. It’ll take time, but I’m determined that eventually I’ll get her to crave my company. I’ll make her so happy that she can’t imagine a day without me.
“All right, Blue, time for a bath!” I rub my hands together, trying to feign excitement, but she doesn’t even lift her head as her eyes move in my direction. Maddox walks over to her and gestures toward the rest of us as we start heading down the trail.
“Come on, little wolf, we aren’t going without you.” She lifts her head and stares at him for a full thirty seconds before she finally gets up, practically dragging her feet as she follows me at a snail's pace. She takes her sweet time walking to the pond. Luckily, it isn’t too far.
When we get there, Gage asks if she wants to bathe, but she shakes her head and moves to lie down on a patch of grass under a nearby tree. He looks at me and I shrug, then take my clothes off so I can jump in the water.
We’re not going to force her to bathe. She hasn’t done anything to get dirty since her last bath, anyway. And to force a wolf who can’t swim into the water when she’s already skittish… that right there is a recipe for disaster.
I dive in and swim underwater to the waterfall. That’s the best part of this place for sure. The water is cool and refreshing, but not cold. I scrub my hands through my hair and notice Hunter and Gage on either side of me.