Chapter 6
Six
Vivian
My life is a constant internal battle. Doesn’t matter if it's a simple thought or something that requires some extra input from my pack.
I always think through how anything I do might affect them. Never with anyone else. Everyone aside from me and my pack can fuck off. Except for my men’s families.
The only family we aren't all that close with is Silas', and that's mainly because they live across the country. We love Montana so being unwilling to move to the East Coast for them has become a bit of a sore spot.
Having Kade and Jarek's parents only six hours away is another reason to stay. I love how their two origin families are friends; it makes holidays really fucking fun. Unless I'm struggling...but those times are few and far between when the families come to visit.
I feel bad that they always come to us, but their unending support of my differences and struggles makes me all warm and gooey. Especially considering my parents packed my bags the moment they met my scent matches. Pretty sure I heard my omega mother say thank fuck before rushing off to my bedroom.
Omegas can be horrible beings too. I learned that lesson very early on. Not every single one of us is gentle and loving. Hell, I'm not. Anyone who isn't mine can eat dirt for all I care.
It's me and my men. That's it. I don't need anyone else.
Though, Kade worries I need friends.
I talk to the pack omegas that hire the guys when a gentle approach is needed. That's my only job. I'm the backup in their business and that's how I prefer it. Most of the time an omega isn't comfortable with other alphas so I get it. I think they like my blunt understanding approach.
My role is to show the omegas we work with that they always have a say in their homes and they can express their opinions. You'd be surprised how many alphas don't put their omegas first.
Kade and the other two have to keep me far away from those cases. They handle it their own way and have had to contact Omega Protection Services many times. Abuse of the vulnerable designation is far more common than I care to think about.
Shuddering, I climb out of my window nest. I raise my hands above my head to stretch and work out the ache that has built there from my doze.
The days after a heat are for napping, at least that's what my pack makes me do.
I don't mind. Thankfully my nights are pretty restful.
I've heard of other people with depression having nightmares and sleep struggles.
Not me. I could sleep all day if my men let me.
A low, rumbly groan draws my attention from my stretch. Peeking my eyes open, I find Jarek leaning against the couch. His bright green eyes are trained on the tiny sliver of skin showing between my shorts and cropped sweatshirt.
"Beautiful, Omega," he purrs, drinking me in.
I preen and drop my arms. A smile pulls my lips easily, especially when all I feel is adoration and love swirling around my chest from his tether. Maybe I check in with our bond and their feelings too much but it gives me the reassurance I need.
After living with my parents and dealing with their constant annoyance and disappointment over my doctor and psychologist appointments, I've become hyperaware of emotional shifts.
Sometimes a simple frown from my men will make my stomach twist with dread. I've been conditioned to think any negative emotion is a direct result of something I did wrong. Not because everyone just has feelings.
That's why our nontraditional bond is so important. I don't need to pester them for information or ask them what's wrong constantly when I can just look inward and feel them.
"Whatcha doin’, Butterfly?" Jarek asks softly, still watching me just hover outside of my nest.
Shrugging, I don't really have a plan. Most of me wants to stay curled up in my pillows and blankets, but I miss them. It's their first day back at work and while the three of them mainly work from home, they're still tucked away in their office most of the day.
Silas is more hands-on by being in person.
He directs their staff and designers, but because they're just returning after their absence, he's home too.
They fit one or two projects in-between my heats and manage entire renovations within a month.
Their staff is effective, and there are so many of them.
Honestly the business would run itself pretty well without them and if they hired a manager, but they love it. It calls to all their passions.
"You a little zoney today, Vivie?"
Blushing, I glance at my feet. Nodding demurely, I shuffle closer to him.
Jarek hums and gathers me close. My omega side curls around and flips onto her back in happiness when he dips down to scent mark my left cheek. I love the blatant claiming and possession our pack provides.
"I got you. Let’s get you snuggled up in the office."
"Oh!" I breathe with excitement. "Yes, please, Alpha."
I'm always welcome in there, but I try to give them some space to work. That's the main room in our whole house that doesn't have high-quality air flow, so a small spike of my perfume can immediately take them out of their zone.
Not to mention, I love snuggling under their desks. For multiple reasons.
"Alright, little minx." Jarek chuckles, knowing exactly where my dirty mind went. Sometimes there's nothing more soothing than resting my head on one of their thighs and sucking them off in the cozy darkness beneath their desks.
"Kade's in a meeting with a new client so you stay away from his desk, okay?"
"'Course," I agree easily. The excitement and upcoming sexual tension loosens the anxiety constantly wrapped around my voice box.
With a hand on my lower back, Jarek guides me to the office. We really should get some better airflow in there, but if they don't mind then I sure as hell don't.
The office and pantry beside it are fairly blocked off by the kitchen from the rest of the house.
Pantry because all the extra food smells I don't want wafting through our natural scents.
The office was their choice because they didn't want to feel like their workspace was a part of our pack home more than it needed to be.
They actually suggested putting it in the basement but that scared me.
No way do I want them working a full floor away from where I usually spend my days. Plus, the basement is a guest space.
"You're happy," Jarek murmurs, still watching me.
Smiling up at him, I battle the weird jolts of heightened emotions. "I am, Jay." Just me verbalizing my feelings is a telltale sign that I am happy. "I love you," I add while my throat is clear and my body is loose with joy.
Jarek beams. The strength of his smile knocks a strand of hair loose around his ears making me giggle. His eyes sparkle and before I can tell him to stop being all sweet, he slams his mouth down on mine.
"Fuck," he grunts, immediately pulling back. "Laugh again, please. I didn't mean to cut it off."
Another soft laugh spills from my lips at his silliness. A ball of guilt forms in my belly when I realize I haven't laughed much in a few weeks. I have no clue why I've been having a dark time, but I am.
Moments like this, when my alpha picks me up and spins me around making me snort out a much louder laugh, chase the demons away. Jarek helped make my day much brighter; now I'll do the same for him.
"I love you, Butterfly," he whispers in my ear, setting me down. "So much."
If there's one thing I don't question about life or the world, it's my pack’s love for me. Even in the darkest days.