Chapter 22
Twenty-Two
Jarek
Twenty-four hours of nothing. All I have to hold on to is Kade's assurance that she's alive and I just have to feel her.
I CAN'T, I've shouted over and over again. He's pushed me and snarled at me to try harder. Not only does it make me feel like a fucking failure that I can't feel my omega's bond anymore, I'm on a slippery slope to losing my mind.
The harder I squeeze my eyes shut to try to force my way through the barriers keeping me away from Vivian, the harder my head pounds and my chest clenches. I don't think I've taken a full breath since she disappeared from my soul.
Kade's theories make me sick to my stomach, and Vivie's friend, Amaya, only confirmed his thoughts. He thinks she was knocked unconscious and is blocking us out of the bond. I wish I hadn’t asked why she would do that.
All he had to do was look me in the eye and wait for it to click.
She's protecting us from whatever is happening to her.
Silas punched a hole in the wall at that idea.
We're all struggling in different ways. Kade is the scariest version of himself I have ever experienced.
It's like his humanity is buried under a world of rage and determination.
Gone is the sparkle in his purple eyes. In its place is an alpha who barely blinks and hasn't slept.
I, on the other hand, am a wild ball of emotions. How can I not feel her like he can? He said it's different, that it's not her feelings but he can still sense her, which feels like a pull to find her.
I fucking feel the pull to find her, but she's not dragging me in any fucking direction!
Meanwhile Silas has been glued to his phone trying to find a way to track her by using our connections to figure out who took her and where she is now.
We've done a lot of work and remodeling for some very powerful packs, so his plan is a solid one.
One pack was even an owner of a big tech company, giving us hope that they can hack some cameras or something.
"Maybe I should drive," I suggest after groaning out my frustration. I've been trying to find the subspace Vivie talks about, but it's all darkness. Not even her slight green hue that swirls around when I lock into the bond is there.
"No," Kade says monotone and locked in on the road. "Keep trying."
"Damn it, Kade!" I snarl and slap the center console. "I've been trying. She's not letting me in!"
"She doesn't need to let you in. You're her fucking alpha, Jarek. Get your shit together and remind her that she. Is. Yours!"
Son of a fucking bitch, he's right. I just don't know if I can do this. I'd rather drive the car than sit here with my eyes closed like a dumbass who can't even get an inkling that his woman is alive.
Slamming my eyes closed, I bend forward and demand she come back to me. I can take it. I'll carry her pain and fear with her. She's not alone. I'm pissed she's trying to do this alone. I'm her alpha. I'm her goddamn alpha!
Come on, Vivie. Come on, Vivie! COME ON, BUTTERFLY!
For the second time in twenty-four hours, the wind is knocked out of me. Pain blooms through my stomach, but it doesn't fucking matter because all I see is green. All I feel is my omega.
Pain, defiance, fear...
"I feel her!!" I roar, unwilling to open my eyes. "She's hurting! Scared. And angry. So angry. Fuck, I think she's a little feral! There's so much defiance it's terrifying, guys."
Absently, I feel tears tracking down my cheeks as I gather as much information as I possibly can. I need to know everything before she shuts me out.
Kade and Silas talk over each other, but I'm lost in the feel of my butterfly. The green swirling hue of my girl slows and settles like a comfortable weight on my chest as if she's trying to comfort me.
I know she's not physically here, but I still wrap my arms around myself. Willing our bond back to life, I imagine wrapping myself around her stomach to help ease her pain. If I imagine it, I hope it happens. I can’t tell how most of it works, but my will is strong. My love unwavering.
I swear I feel her breathe, her aura swelling and falling into a restful position. I'm here, Butterfly, I try to reassure her through the connection. We're coming for you.
We might not have the exact location, but we have our bond and a feral alpha in the driver’s seat ready to ram through any roadblocks we may find.
Our beta's in the back, working tirelessly to pinpoint our destination.
There's no telling how long it will take, but as long as I can hold on to our bond, I'll comfort her until we get there.
My throat closes over, sorrow and anxiety overwhelming me because all I want is my omega in my arms. I love you, Vivian.
It feels like she sighs and snuggles into me.
Actually, I can almost imagine her head tipping back with serenity like she does when she enjoys our connections.
It's a beautiful sight seeing someone who struggles constantly find peace.
As an alpha and a mate, I couldn't wish for anything better than for my mate to find peace in me.
Something triggers her, stopping my heart and scaring me shitless. I swear I register the low timber of another person through the bond right before her aura stiffens and fucking flees.
As if slamming a guilt-ridden door in my face, Vivie shuts me out once again. I could have sworn she was crying.
"She's not too far..." I croak out, eyes still shut, trying to remember how intense the pull was. She didn't feel like she was light years away at least.
Silas growls in the backseat. "Anywhere away from us is too fucking far, Jay!"
Turning in my seat, I glare at him. "I just meant she's not on the other fucking side of the continent. Of course she's too fucking far, but we're closer than we could have been."
Silas grinds his teeth and shakes his head before going back to his cellphone. I know we're all on edge and itching for a fight, but we need to save it for those who deserve it.
I'm not giving up, Vivie...I think into the silence. Cold and worried, I continue nudging at her walls, soothing the defensive spikes, and reminding her that I'm her damn alpha and I'm not going anywhere.
Once I get my hands on her, she's in for a fucking lesson. New rule, Butterfly. You are never, ever, allowed to shut us out ever again.