Chapter 23
Twenty-Three
Vivian
Ican't believe I allowed Jarek into the bond. I'm supposed to be protecting them and ensuring they don't feel the worst of this. He just happened to push harder than ever right as I got punched in the stomach. Or maybe it was the blow that weakened my ability to hold them at bay.
Kade is the hardest to hold back, and he's probably who takes up all of my energy.
It's okay though because they should know I'm alive.
He hasn't pushed so hard that he feels me.
He just knows I'm here, and that's just going to have to be enough because I can't handle their feelings on top of my own.
Self-loathing tucked me in after my mistake. It didn't keep me as warm as those disgusting blankets I made them dispose of, but the anxious sweats were all I deserved.
Riot did me a favor when he called me little Omega. He doesn't know my pack alpha calls me that, of course. It was the shock factor that I needed to slam the door on Jarek again.
It may have felt wonderful to sink into his tether and allow him to hold me, but it's not fair to him. He shouldn't have to feel my hurt too. Plus, if they're trying to find me, I'll only hinder the search if I keep getting hurt and feeling sad for myself.
Alone is better. Well, not really alone.
"Firefly, come grab this blanket."
It's incredibly odd and off-putting to only feel Riot in my subconscious. Still red and buzzing as usual, but he just fucking hovers there. I'm not sure what his game is, but I don't want to play. He's not my pack. He has no right to be in my safe space or trying to talk to me.
What is it with strangers who just continue to speak to me? Honestly, it's infuriating and a little rude. Even if I wanted to talk to Riot, I can't. He's only making this harder.
His presence is agitating and makes me feel like I need to do something, but what the hell is there for me to do?
"Damn it, Omega." Riot huffs and bangs on the bars. "You're shivering, and I have a blanket for you. I can't tuck you in so come fucking get it."
He can't see me frown in confusion because I gave him my back hours ago and refuse to move. What does he care if I'm cold? It's probably best we stay in our own lanes. We've both caused enough trouble not to draw one another into our bullshit.
I hear him sigh and something thunks on the bars. "I'm sorry for swearing at you. I'm just—"
Interesting. An apology that isn't laced with pity or discomfort. Just his own self-loathing...
Finally he blurts his thought out. "I'm just wondering why the hell you're making this worse for yourself."
I'm not, though. Worse would be giving these horrible people what I reserve for my pack. My attention, submission, and respect. Why would I willingly give these monsters pieces of me?
"I can't help you from over here. Every time you push back or just ignore them, you're on your own. I can't fucking help, Firefly."
Why does he seem so torn up about this? Curiosity and confusion win out, so I roll over and look at him.
He really is the definition of tall, dark, and handsome.
He actually looks like a younger, bad boy version of Kade with sharper features.
Tattoos, a leather jacket, and a cigarette would really pull the whole look together.
"Hi," he murmurs, sitting up a bit straighter when we lock eyes. "You know you scare me when you hardly move." At that, he chuckles, shakes his head, and sighs really long, ending with an odd little chuckle.
Now that I'm staring at him, I realize he looks like shit. I'm suddenly wondering how long we've been here, which becomes even more concerning when I notice a plate of food by his hip.
He sees where I'm looking and explains. "New guard dropped this in my cell a while ago. It's cold by now, but you wouldn't wake up when I told you to come eat."
Shit. So how long have we been locked in here? I sit up and glance around my small space for a plate too. There isn't one.
Riot clears his throat and explains. "The asshole said you deserved to starve for a little longer. Come sit with me and eat. You need something in your belly."
I repeat, why the hell is this guy being so nice? Surely his much larger body needs to eat way more than mine does. Besides, my issues make it so I don't really care to eat. Although, I could fuck with one of Kade's enchilada dishes right now.
Keeping my ass firmly planted on the bed, I shake my head.
Riot frowns and doesn't make any move to eat his bread and apple slices.
While he's contemplating his choices, I shuffle toward the sink and take a big gulp of water from the faucet.
I'm able to ignore the toilet in the corner a bit longer, thankfully.
The cool liquid soothes my throat and brightens my mood just a bit until Riot opens his mouth.
"Firefly, come sit and eat."
Scowling, I don't even give him a glance as I climb back onto the bed. Who knows when it will be taken away or the water might be turned off? Hmm, that's concerning. I might be able to go a long time without food, but no water would be tricky.
"Omega!" Riot snaps. I finally give him the glare he's asking for and shake my head. "Damn it, what the hell is wrong with you?"
Many things.
"Do you have no self-preservation?"
Interesting. Do I? I want to preserve myself for my pack. But that means locking some parts of me away and not letting them see the light.
Not having realized I zoned out into lala land again, a startled gasp makes me choke when something hits me in the forehead.
"Oh fuck! I'm sorry. I meant to hit your chest." Judging by his shit eating grin, there was no fucking way his aim was that off. Hissing, I launch the bread right back at him. It hits a bar and bounces back toward me, igniting my annoyance.
Hopping from the bed, I ignore Riot's chuckle and grab the damn thing. I've seen this alpha sway so many times. He needs to fucking eat.
He stands to his full height once I'm in front of the bars. While I'm fuming, his brows are pulled together in confusion. "Why won't you just eat the damn bread? I'm trying to help you."
This man must never hear the word no. Not everyone needs a big, strong man to help them. Even if I did, how do I know if I can trust him?
Shaking my head hard, I shove my hand through the bars and push the bread into his chest. He doesn't take it, so I stand here like an idiot while he studies every line on my face.
"You aren't hungry?" he asks slowly. I shake my head no.
"How are you not hungry? We've been here for so long.
" I don't know how to reply without words, so I don't do anything which unfortunately just gives him the opportunity to see my bony frame up close.
"You're used to not eating much?" he guesses, voice tight.
Still he hasn't grabbed the damn food, so I push it a little harder against him and nod, hoping if I answer his stupid question he'll back off. I had a nice little zone out going, and he ruined it by throwing shit like a child.
My confirmation makes him stiffen. His eyes retrace my body, lingering on all three of my mating bites. I wish I had a shirt. If he had offered his shirt instead of his meal I might have taken him up on the offer.
"You're telling me," he grits out through clenched teeth, "that your pack starves you?"
Horrified by his words, I drop the bread and try to step back. Faster than I can stop him, he grabs my bicep and pulls me closer. "Firefly, don't test me right now. I'm hanging on by a fucking thread. Answer me. Does your pack abuse you?"
Okay, so I can see how it might look like that. I'm selectively mute, a little feral at times, too skinny, and I act like a traumatized child. But no.
I shake my head quickly, trying not to soak in the heat of his warm hand wrapped around me. The buzz of his tether intensifies and follows his grip, swirling and holding, like it's warming me up from the inside out.
Those gold eyes of his hold mine in a trance.
Can he feel what's happening right now? He's holding onto me, grounding me, and I'm not pushing him away.
If anything, I'm leaning into the care he's forcing on me and wondering if I can listen to him because he seems to care about my wellbeing. He's acting like my alpha.
I think for a split second that he might be mine. For just a nanosecond, my omega agrees and dives forward, latching onto any kind of security and bond we might find with this alpha who is trying to take care of me.
He's definitely hungry, so it makes sense that I am too. My stomach growls loudly, knocking him out of the trance we were in. The one I am still firmly planted in.
"We'll share," he murmurs, and sits down because he's a little woozy. I probably am too, but I'm just used to it.
Yeah. Sharing is a good idea.