Chapter 26
Twenty-Six
Vivian
I'm not exactly sure what possessed me to block the hit meant for Riot. All I knew was that asshole was threatening something in my pack bond. Riot's red tether fades when we're resting, but in the face of the guards it coils tightly and brightly around my bicep.
His grasp feels like a possession. A claiming for now. Like he's taken me under his care and wants to help, especially when there's danger present. Or maybe I'm the one dragging him closer and tying him around me so I have some kind of comfort in this hell.
The throbbing in my forearm worried me until rage shuttered my feelings. He hurt me! I was so mad, but Riot begging me not to do something crazy gave me pause.
Honestly, I think I might have listened to Riot if the guard hadn't spewed more vile shit at me. No way in hell is he taking more of my clothes. I'm not sure whether I hissed or growled at the alpha, but either way he's now charging through the open doorway with a vicious gleam in his eyes.
The dominance chokes me along with his stench. Unable to run like I should, I drop my aching arm and bend my knees. I'll fight him off if I have to. Which seems like my only option.
Riot shouts, the vibrations of his anger curling my fingers into fists. I raise them to shield my face and actually manage to side step the first swipe of the alpha's meaty paw.
Pride blooms only to be smashed by a torrential downpour of fear as my legs are kicked out from under me. I land on my side, crushing my bad arm into my ribs, effectively knocking the wind out of me. A wheeze escapes my throat, and the bastard laughs at me.
"Stand up!" Riot screams.
I can't see him through the curtain of my hair, but I imagine he's losing his mind.
His fierce desperation in making sure I experience the least amount of pain is all the reminder I need to keep fighting.
I'm sure he wants me to stand so I'm out of kicking range, but I want to stand so I can fight back.
Except I don't make it past my hands and knees before a dirty boot kicks me in the stomach. A void erupts in my gut and lungs, stealing my breath and ability to find my equilibrium.
Pain explodes across the entirety of my back and head as I fly into the bars separating me from Riot. My ears ring, and I can't catch my breath, but I reach for Riot anyway. Through my slitted, heavy eyes, I watch him lunge for me, but he's too slow.
"FIREFLY!" he screams, dropping to his knees right as I'm dragged away from him by my foot. I expect more fists and feet, but I learn fast that next on the agenda is mental torment.
With his sweaty hand in my hair, the guard yanks me up to my knees hard enough to pull some strands out. Swallowing the gag that tries to make my chest convulse at his proximity, I hold on to the last shreds of defiance I can. I look him in the eye as he speaks down to me.
"You're all the same," he growls low, hatred radiating off him. "High maintenance, unnatural, needy fucking whores. You aren't wanted. You're required by biology. But you can exist without being so motherfucking annoying. Do as you're told, omega," he spits my designation like it's an insult.
Every word he says hits each vulnerable place in my brain.
He spoke them as if he was reading them word for word from my parents’ script.
This alpha, who doesn't know the first thing about me, found the exact words to make me drop my gaze.
Not out of submission, but shame. He just beat my shame to shreds.
The fight leaves my body as I hear my parents' words tumbling around in my mind, bruising my confidence and chipping away at my adrenaline. Without my connection to my pack, I don't have their voices to combat the insecurities rising to the surface.
High maintenance, needy, unnatural, annoying.
..Everything I fear I am. Everything I fear my pack thinks.
Is that how Riot perceives me too? I can feel his exasperation and annoyance with me constantly.
..but I'm just being me. Maybe being me is the problem.
Could I be bruise-less and comfortable with blankets if I hadn't pushed back so hard?
"There! See? That's a good omega, all docile and sad." The guard pats my head like I'm a dog, then plants his hand on my forehead and shoves me.
"Hey!" Riot shouts as I tumble onto my back.
I allow my head to thunk back onto the hard floor and become everything everyone wants me to be. Nothing.
Zoning out in my negative thoughts, I only feel a little relieved that the bastard left without taking my jeans. His dark chuckle lingers long after he's gone, drowning out Riot's overwhelming concern for me.
I wish I could tell him I'll be fine. This isn't something I haven't dealt with before.
I would tell him I'm chemically depressed and had shitty parents who didn't like me which contributes to my low days.
That the guard just brought it all rushing back to the surface.
He stripped away my fight-or-flight response and smothered me in everything I hate about myself.
I'd also tell him to enjoy my dip into depression while it lasts because this is about as low maintenance as I can get. I'll be back to annoying him with my unnatural tendencies soon enough.
For now though, I'll just float and zone out. It's probably how everyone prefers me anyway.