Chapter 29
Twenty-Nine
Vivian
What is wrong with me? What is wrong with me?
So many things, I want to tell him. So many things that if he knew he'd probably stop trying so damn hard to fix me. That's what he's doing...Trying to fix me. He doesn't like what he sees so he's trying to bend me to what he believes is normal.
My upper lip twitches and my right ear pops. I know what's coming, and judging by the wide-eyed look on Riot's face he knows too.
Climbing to my feet, I match his posture—stiff and ready to fight. The pain in my ribs and head doesn't exist. All I know is anger and total bafflement.
Who is he to say those things to me? I'm just trying to fucking survive as well as I know how without my pack here to help me.
Vibrations in my chest tell me I'm growling, and my face feels warm as tears coat my cheeks. I feel like I'm falling apart at the seams, unable to control myself. The trembling of his tether seeps into my bones until I feel like I'm seething with frustration.
He's full and I accepted it. Why can't he just accept the fucking fact that I'm not hungry either? I can't speak to him and I don't know him.
To question the most basic parts of me, then point out how wrong I am makes me want to curl into a ball and sink into the bonds of my mates so I can feel something good.
Yet, here I am, overwhelmed with the need to stand off with a man I barely know. I can give the guards a dead stare and ignore them enough to keep my dignity and sanity, but Riot's testing me.
Why is he testing me?
"Okay, Firefly..." he whispers, coming close to me even as a drop of drool slips from my canine. "I'm sorry."
A hiss slips through my lips, chilling my teeth and gums. Tiny pinpricks of pain scatter across my palms, and my neck cracks.
"You're hurting yourself," Riot murmurs, voice tight, staring down at my hands. "Please stop."
Why does he care so much if I'm hurting myself? If he would just leave me alone to be the total fuck up of an omega everyone believes I am, then he wouldn't be so upset all the damn time.
"I'm not upset," he says. Is he reading my mind? "I'm scared, alright? My only goal in my whole life is to protect people. For the first time, I'm completely failing my only fucking job."
Anguish slams into me from behind, and I find myself taking a step toward him. My lip drops to cover my teeth, and somehow Riot and I manage to take a deep breath at the same time.
For a moment, I feel his tether hug my bicep. I've refused to let him go just as he's refused to let me endure this hell on my own.
"Come here, little Omega," he whispers, dropping down onto his ass near the bars.
The calming wash of my deep breath paired with the nickname that makes me want to break down and sob, sends me to my knees a foot away from him. He seems better now, making it easier to let the anger slip away.
"I'm sorry I said those things." Riot looks pained, and guilt immediately sits heavy in my chest. This is hard for him too, yet here I am snapping and snarling at my only ally—the only person who cares enough to feed me and make sure I'm alive.
"I don't think anything is wrong with you," he continues and drags a hand through his greasy black hair. "I do wonder why you're mute, where your pack is, why you aren't eating, and seem to match my energy. But those are questions for another time, huh?"
All I can do is nod. His comment about matching energies is interesting, though. Is it possible his feelings are influencing me through the bond? Or is his dominance so strong and near that it's sending my omega into a tizzy every time he has a moment of heightened emotions.
"I want to know your name."
Shocked, I look up at him and realize I was zoning out at the ground and catch sight of my bare stomach. I've since lost the will to shield my bare body and shoulders in this place, but I do blush each time I remember I'm only in a bra and jeans.
Frowning, I bite the inside of my cheek and look around. Not a paper or pen in sight. With another deep breath, I reach for his hand. The look on his face makes me nervous, as if he doesn't want me touching him. As fast as the frown came, it's gone and he's sticking his hands through the bars.
"Go ahead," he encourages with a nod. I study his features for a moment though. He looks visibly angry, and I feel hesitation. "You may touch me, Firefly."
An odd sort of eagerness makes my heart jitter. Unable to stop myself even if I wanted to, I grab his large hand in my smaller one. I swallow the sharp intake of breath that squeezes my lungs.
Transferring the top of his hand to my left palm, I glance up at Riot. I've never seen his face so relaxed or his eyes so curious. It makes me want to learn more. He seems to enjoy physical touch. If I need to hold his hand so he stops flipping out about my full tummy, then I'll consider it.
With my right pointer finger, I begin to trace the letters of my name onto his warm palm. So warm...
V. "V?" he whispers, and I nod.
I. "I," Riot guesses confidently.
V. "V."
I. "I."
A. "A."
N. "N," he breathes.
Nodding happily, I drop his hand and smile up at him. When I do, he looks starstruck which makes me wonder if I've had yet to show him I am capable of happiness.
"Nice to meet you, Vivian." The way he says my name for the first time sends tingles down my bare arms and warmth to my already heated cheeks. Jeez, am I embarrassed?
All the negative emotions that overrode my system mere minutes ago feel light years away. How can this one man bring me so much peace and emotion all within five minutes?
Alphas are powerful creatures. When they want to, some may be all-consuming, using their presence and scent to manipulate. I don't think that's what's happening here.
I have no idea why I feel so intertwined with Riot sometimes. While it scares me to no end, at least I'm following the lead of someone who's strong and capable in this situation.
"Well, isn't this sweet?"
Jumping, I cower away from the disturbance. How did I not notice the guard watching us? Absently, I hear Riot curse and try to reach for the bread he put on my side. With my scrambling to stand and face the asshole head on, I knock it further away from him.
Tsking, the horrible man doesn't waste any time in unlocking my cell. My breathing picks up and for once I look at Riot. Will he know what I should do? I didn't do anything this time. I didn't. I didn't do anything wrong!
His eyes are wide and his mouth drops open to yell, but right before he can grab me to pull me closer to him, the guard is on me. Dragging me away by my hair as he snarls about rules and punishments. I kick and hit.
Riot looks ready to fight, so I should too. Right? Gosh, I hope so because I don't think I can sit here willingly as I'm being hurt for something I didn't do.
"If you were good, I'd feed you. But you're not. You're a greedy bitch who needs to be put in her place."
Stumbling behind the alpha, I have no choice but to follow him out of the cell. Out. I don't want out without Riot! Frantically looking back, tears spring to my eyes at the visual of him trying to get to me. When has anyone else cared other than my mates?
"NO!" Riot roars. He tries to fit himself through the bars but he's just too wide. And I'm already gone.