12. Diablos
Chapter twelve
Diablos
What a life. One day, you’re living an ordinary human life. The next day, you find out angels and demons are real.
If I wasn’t stuck in a situation I never asked for, I’d be fangirling like crazy. I mean, it was still cool. I was a fantasy romance reader, after all. Though there was no romance in the fantasy or the reality of my life.
Sighing in disappointment, I took a sip of my coffee. My bags were packed. I had prepared a small suitcase and two backpacks. I didn't know what kind of situation we might end up in, what I'd need, or how long we'd be gone. Better to be prepared.
I still couldn’t believe Dagon was coming with me. What could have possibly possessed him? It was like he... cared. If I looked past the anger brewing inside me, I knew he still cared in his own twisted way, or at least I was hoping he did.
No, thinking about Dagon wasn’t productive for my last ordinary morning.
Flashes of bad things happening to my father and brothers while we were away hit me out of nowhere - a demon attack, my father lying in a pool of his own blood, a car accident.
Bren lying on the cold pavement, choking on his blood, taking his last breath.
Wild losing his mind when all of us were gone.
Dagon’s unseeing eyes because he came with me and paid the price.
What if going after this object was the avalanche that brings death to everyone I love? What if I should’ve insisted Dagon stay behind?
My heart lodged itself in my throat. My hands trembled with the force of my fear. Shaking my head, I tried to pull away from these images. I tried repeatedly, but it felt like I was sinking further. The intrusive thoughts were an ocean. One after another, they came like waves, dragging me under.
Swallowing hard, I focused on my breath. I knew better than to fight the thoughts. They came when they pleased and left whenever they wanted. But that didn’t make it any easier. Every time they surfaced, they left a bit of my soul more broken than the time before.
My hands still shook as I twisted the cup six times. Then I took seven sips of my coffee, which wasn’t a good idea, but everything about me was upside down. Coffee was supposed to make people anxious. It calmed me down.
The house was quiet. No one had woken up yet, so no one saw my panic. I started feeling more like myself when I heard noise from King’s office. After hesitating for a small eternity, I decided to talk to him.
The door was slightly ajar, so I stepped in without knocking. He saw me before I could say anything, but now that I was here, I wanted to flee the room. Why did I even come?
“I’m sorry, son.”
His voice stopped me mid-turn. My hand around the coffee cup trembled again, and I gripped it tighter.
I glanced back at him. I knew he meant the words. Even with all the shock, pain, all of it – I could never hate him.
“Yeah, I know you do.”
“I didn’t have any other choice.”
I wasn’t sure about that because I only had part of the picture. Besides, how hard would it have been to just say it?
Hey, I need to cut your hand, and it will hurt.
Instead, he dodged most of our questions and hid things from us. I wasn’t someone who trusted blindly. I learned my lesson a long time ago. Now, I trust actions more than words. When you grow up in an environment like a minefield, you become an expert at reading people.
For now, I believed him. But deep down, I was bracing for the moment I’d be proven wrong.
“Will you tell me what object I’m searching for?”
“You will know the moment you see it.”
“Why don’t you stop with these cryptic words and riddles?”
Why couldn’t he be straightforward for once?
He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “It’s a bow and arrows.”
“Was that so hard?”
“You don’t understand, Di.”
“You’re right. I don’t understand. But you’re also making it hard to. I’m trying, I really am. But you keep hiding things. How am I supposed to believe you?”
Pain and regret flickered in his eyes. The father I used to know was nowhere to be found. The desire to leave only intensified. I couldn't stand looking at him like this. The battle in my mind was like a hurricane, swallowing all that used to be and leaving destruction in its place.
I gathered the last bits of my sanity and asked, “I need to know where I’m supposed to look for it. I can’t just walk around without direction.”
“Another angel has a friend who may be able to help. He has some clues. I already gave the address to Dagon.”
At least we had a plan. I didn’t know what else to say, so I nodded and turned to leave.
Before I left the room, his voice stopped me again. “Stay safe, both of you. If you need me, call. I’ll be there.”
The thing was, I knew he would come the moment we needed him.
“Okay.”
I returned to the kitchen with that small conversation and the unknown weighing on me. Finishing my coffee, I made a second cup. I needed more of it. It was almost seven when I heard Dagon and Andras coming down the stairs.
“You ready?” Dagon asked me.
“Yeah, I only need to go grab my bags.”
I ran upstairs, grabbed my things, and looked around my room one last time.
What if I never come home? What if something happens?
Whatever might come my way, I knew I would never regret becoming part of this family.
On the way down, I stepped on specific floorboards and even went back a few steps to repeat it. Everyone was gathered downstairs so no one saw me. My nerves were a mess so the compulsions were worse than usual.
When I reached the foyer, my brothers were already there. Bren was the first to walk over and hug me.
“You better call me every day.”
“I will, don’t worry about me. Everything will be alright.”
The worry in his eyes was clear, and even though I tried to reassure him, I knew nothing I said would make it easier for him.
Next came Wild. “Stay safe, Di. Call us if you need us, and we will come.”
“Thanks, Wild. You, take care of yourself, too.”
I said my goodbyes to Luc and Andras as well. Surprisingly, Andras pulled me into a hug without saying a word. That was his way of showing he cared. I knew he did.
The others moved to Dagon, hugging him and saying similar things. I noticed our father standing off to the side. When he finally came over, he wrapped me in a tight hug. My eyes stung, but I held back the tears.
“I love you, son.”
It felt like sand was stuck in my throat, but I managed to say, “Love you too, Dad.”
Dagon hugged him, too, and they whispered words I couldn’t hear. I was relieved to see them like this. I’d been worried that Dagon hitting him would damage their relationship.
I took one last look at my family, carried my bags to the trunk, threw my backpacks in the backseat, and got into the passenger seat. No way anyone else was driving Dagon’s precious car. He didn't let even Andras touch it.
Leaving them all behind was hard, but it was something that had to be done.
Dagon started the engine, and we drove in silence for the first few minutes. I hated silence, so I reached for the radio. Thankfully, he didn’t protest. Soft pop music started playing, and my shoulders dropped in relief.
I glanced at him from the corner of my eye.
Dagon wore black jeans and a tight black shirt that clung to his arms. God, what did he do in his free time?
His body could bring men to their knees.
This was my cue that I needed something else to focus on (and not ogle my brother like he was the sweetest cake in the world), so I started fidgeting with my ring.
“What’s that ring?” Dagon asked, catching me off guard.
“Um, they're wings.”
“I can see that. Why wings?”
I could feel my face going red as a tomato. Yep, this saying was true. Experienced and verified.
“Uh, they're fallen angel wings,” I said, then quickly added, “They're from my favorite book series.”
“Fallen angels, huh? How do you know their wings are all black?”
“In my favorite series, they are, so that’s what matters.”
“So you’ve got a thing for black wings?”
My face was no longer tomato-red. No, it was crimson now. Blood red. Eww, I didn’t need this image in my head, damn it.
“I don’t have a thing for black wings, Dagon.”
“It’s okay if you do. I won’t tell anyone your secret.”
He smirked at me, and oh, it was on. Two could play this game.
“Oh, yeah? Well, I can tell you more about my books since you’re so curious. Wanna know how they have sex using their wings too?”
Dagon practically choked. His head whipped toward me before he forced his gaze back to the road. “Yeah, tell me.”
Wait, what?
Now, I was the one caught off-guard. He wanted to flip it back on me, embarrass me into shutting up.
“Well, for starters, you do know I read MM books, right? And you know what this means. Do I need first to describe to you how two men have sex?”
I smirked at him, fully aware it would make him shut up.
“There is no need to explain it to a gay man,” he deadpanned.
I froze. Literally. I tried to croak out a question, but it was pointless. No words left my mouth.
“What?” he snapped.
“You’re gay?!” I choked out the question.
He snorted. The bastard snorted!
“Excuse me, I didn’t know I needed your permission,” he said, amused. “Also, great way to contribute to the stigma about what a gay man is supposed to look like.”
“But… but… no way!” My heart was racing. “And I didn’t say it because of how you look. If you’re gay, why the hell did you torture me for reading MM books all these years? What the fuck, man?”
He glanced over, confused. Even worse was the sincerity in his confusion, which made me, in turn, confused. Did this even make sense?
“You thought it was because you were reading gay romance?”
“Yes, why else, asshole?”
“The only asshole here is you. Asshole.” His grip on the steering wheel tightened. “And no, it wasn’t because of that. It was because you read.”
“For fucks sake, that doesn’t make sense.”
“Why the fuck would you spend time reading about fictional characters, their happy and sad times, and their love lives? The sex I can maybe understand, even though, porn is better.”
My jaw dropped.
Had we seriously just had the lengthiest conversation in years, just the two of us, and it was about books and sex? I must’ve died somewhere along the road. Yep, that was the only explanation. My spirit was here, imagining a world where Dagon and I didn’t act like we hated each other.
“I don’t give a fuck whether you’re gay, straight, pan, ace or something else. It was never about your sexuality.”
He shrugged, and I could see a slight blush on his cheeks. Did I make Dagon Hughes blush? I should write the hour and date right now on my phone. Laughing, I relaxed back in my seat.
“You know, I thought you taunted me because of that. Now that I know it’s not because of the gay part, I guess I hated you for nothing.”
“No need to fall in love with me so fast, Di.”
He smirked, and my heart skipped a beat when I heard my name fall from his lips.
Shaking the feeling away, I focused on the road ahead.
I couldn't dwell on the fact that my brother – who I never saw as a brother – and on whom I had a crush, was gay.
Nope. My mind chose to divert the attention to something else instead.
Though I wasn't sure this new train of thought was much better.
Our fights, the cold silence, and the way we ignored each other replayed like a movie before me.
“Why do you hate me?” I blurted.
He nearly lost control of the wheel. I gripped the door handle instinctively.
“What?”
“Why do you hate me? What changed?”
A few seconds passed, and I thought he’d ignore me, true to his typical pattern.
But suddenly, he swerved and pulled the car onto the shoulder.
There were no other vehicles around. Just a stretch of empty road and a forest to our right.
He was out of the car so fast I barely registered what was happening.
I didn’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t for him to storm into the woods.
What the fuck was he doing? We were surrounded by nothing, no cities close by, no cars, and he was going into the forest.
I jumped out of the car and ran after him. It took me a few minutes to catch up. When I did, I grabbed his shoulder and turned him around.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I demanded, a nervous edge in my voice.
All the words on the tip of my tongue dissolved to ash when I looked at him.
There was something raw and fierce in his expression.
He was breathing unevenly, and his eyes were unfocused.
There was a dangerous gleam underneath everything else.
A sense of panic took over me, but somehow I knew he wouldn't hurt me even if my brain screamed to run.
I put my hand on his shoulder, but he flinched, so I removed it as fast as possible.
“Please,” he whispered. “Please just leave me alone for a minute.”
The rawness in his voice cut deeper than I thought possible.
He stumbled, then leaned both hands on the nearest tree.
It was obvious he was having a panic attack.
The forest air suddenly felt too still around us.
The wind and his ragged breathing was the only sound surrounding us.
I was stunned but I couldn’t bear to watch him like this.
I couldn’t bear leaving him alone in whatever place his mind trapped him in.
I didn’t know how to help him, and I sure as hell didn’t know why I did what I did next.