20. Carmie
Chapter 20
Carmie
I can’t sleep that night. I just keep seeing the tip of my foil sink into his shoulder and the total lack of reaction in his eyes.
In public, Lev’s charming as hell. He’s constantly got that handsome smile on his face, and he makes people feel like they’re the center of the world.
But in private, it’s like that man slowly disappears, leaving a hollow void in his place.
I think I saw the real Lev. Not the mask he wears to hide what’s really inside of him, but the monster he keeps chained away.
He’s normally so careful. But it’s like when Emory crossed a line with me—he couldn’t help himself.
It broke him. And it nearly killed Emory.
I don’t know how I feel about it. Afraid, but also excited.
Like I have power over him, even though he clearly doesn’t like it.
There’s a noise in the hall. I go very still, listening closely. This house is pretty old, and it creaks a lot, and I tell myself that it’s just the walls settling for the night.
But there’s the noise again. A creak, getting closer.
My heart starts racing. Lev’s room isn’t far away, and if I scream, he’ll hear me. I’m being silly, though. Nobody would break in here. At least, not if they want to live.
There’s a rattling at the doorknob. It slowly opens.
I’m sitting up, heart racing. A thin sheen of sweat breaks out across my chest. Blood rushes to my head. I’m wearing a thin t-shirt and a pair of cotton shorts, but I feel like I’m naked. I reach for my fencing foil, except it’s on the floor near the closet.
The door opens, and a man’s standing there.
He’s big. So freaking big. And shirtless.
Rippling muscles are covered by dark tattoos.
He’s wearing a fencing mask.
This can’t be happening. I’m having a nightmare. The man stands in my doorway, shirtless and gorgeous, with only a pair of tight joggers covering his lower half.
I’m about to finally force the scream out when I realize?—
I know those tattoos. I know that body and those pants.
“What are you doing?” I manage to say, and it comes out strangled.
He steps deeper into the room. This has to be a prank, right? Some weird joke he’s playing?
But he doesn’t say anything. He only lurks over me in the fencing mask, faceless and terrifying.
It’s him, though. It’s Lev without a doubt. I know him now that my head’s clearing up. There’s a fresh bandage on his shoulder where I stabbed him.
“Lev, what are you doing?” I repeat as he comes even closer.
“You know why I’m here.” His voice is low and muffled. It sounds almost inhuman. He keeps advancing toward my bed.
And all at once, I’m right; I’m positive I understand what’s happening.
I know what he wants, and now the mask makes sense.
He needs layers. He needs protection. If he can’t wear his normal charming smile, what else can he use to protect himself from me?
A literal mask.
A faceless monstrosity.
“You can tell me to leave,” he says, looming over my bedside.
God, he’s beautiful. Rippling muscles and those terrifying tattoos. I was never into guys like him back in the day, and there sure as hell were plenty. Growing up in a family like mine, there was always some big, tattooed asshole lurking nearby, and plenty of them wanted something from me.
Plenty wanted this .
But I was never interested. I mean, I was tempted by a few of them, but tattooed assholes weren’t really my thing. I resisted them, never went further than kissing and fooling around, at least until I met Lev.
And fucked him. And got pregnant by him. And married him later.
Now he’s staring at me with that faceless mask, completely blank and terrifying, and I feel myself softening.
My heart’s in my throat, and excitement courses down my spine.
“I thought you didn’t want this,” I whisper, strangled and afraid, but unable to say the words I know would save me.
Get out. Get out. Go away.
“I always want this.” He sounds equally strained, like this is just as hard for him.
He reaches out. I don’t flinch back as he puts a knee on the bed and slides his fingers through my hair. I whimper as he pulls my chin up, and I can feel his eyes staring at me through the mask, looking at my throat, at my body. He pulls the blankets away with the other, baring me to him.
My fingers grip the sheets.
“I thought you were here to hurt me,” I say, and he reacts by tightening his grip.
“Do you want me to?”
“No,” I say, my mouth hanging open. “Maybe.”
He pushes me down. I gasp in surprise. He’s so fast and strong, and a moment later he’s got my legs spread. One hand deftly yanks down my shorts while the other roughly shoves my shirt up over my breasts. I moan as his fingers move down between my legs, and I shimmy my hips, nervous and excited and scared all at once, and the sound he makes when he touches my pussy is pure devious lust.
“My fucking little fencer,” he whispers hoarsely. “You’re soaking wet for me already.”
Shit, he’s right. I’m absolutely drenched. This is beyond freaky and fucked up—the guy’s in here wearing a fencing mask, for god’s sake—but it’s hitting all my buttons. The mixture of fear and excitement is driving me absolutely wild.
His fingers are perfect. He strokes me slowly before plunging one in, just enough to tease. His other hand palms my breasts before shoving his other fingers into my mouth, and I whimper as I suck them. He sinks two fingers inside of me, and my back arches. I’m still inexperienced. I was a virgin not all that long ago, and his fingers are thick and long. I groan, grinding my hips into him.
This is crazy. I can’t even see his face. I should push him away, but yet I keep pushing closer, wanting more. His fingers bury in my mouth and muffle my moans while his other hand drives into my slick pussy, and I can’t take it much longer. The situation, the mask, the terror, the peak bliss, it shoves my brain into heaven.
I come with his fingers in my mouth and in my pussy. I come for him, blinded and crazy with it. And as I finish, he steps back from the bed and takes off his pants.
His cock is thick and long. I stare, heart racing, as he steps toward me.
I’m still giddy from my orgasm, and I don’t even know why I do it, but I get onto all fours and take him in my mouth.
He groans. The faceless monster. His dick tastes like precum as I lick around his tip. I’m not very experienced, but I do my best, moaning and choking, my spit rolling down his shaft as I suck him. He fists my hair and pulls me back, and I stare up at him, into that faceless nothing.
Then he turns me around and pins me on my belly.
“Lev,” I moan, ass in the air. His cock presses against me. My heart’s going wild. “It’s been a while.”
“I know, baby,” he whispers. “But I can’t wait.”
He sinks into me. Fuck, it feels so good, and it hurts a little bit too. I moan, closing my eyes and letting him fill me to the brim. Slowly, he pulls back out and fills me again, and again, and again, until I begin to relax. It’s faster this time, easier than that first night, and he fucks me like he can’t control himself.
Pleasure rips into my core. I look back at the faceless beast fucking me face-down on the bed and gasp as he takes me. His palm slaps my ass and the other grips my hair, and his body’s so warm and hard and gorgeous.
I want to be his. That’s so fucked, but I want it. He can have me, use me, fuck me until I’m nothing, and do it all over again when he wants more. I didn’t even know I was into this, but I realize all I want in the world is for him to pin me down and have his way with me until I’m nothing left but a quivering body recovering from a savage beast.
“This is why I couldn’t stay away,” he moans, and it’s like heaven. “I tried, little fencer, I tried so fucking hard. If you had agreed to sleep in my bed with me, I would’ve given in a lot sooner. But now it’s too late.”
“Keep going,” I beg, so close I can taste it, the orgasm right there on my tongue.
“I don’t know when I’ll be done with you. I don’t know if I ever will. Fuck, I want you to come for me, baby, I want to feel you come for me.”
My back arches. I look back, and it’s still the mask, that empty stare. The orgasm tears into me like fire, and I grip the sheets as he picks up his pace, hammering into my pussy, before filling me with his warmth. His strangled moans of pleasure make my core clench and release before I’m finally left gasping for air.
I’m covered in sweat like I just went for a run.
He slides himself away from me. For a moment, I close my eyes, and then I feel something.
His lips pressed against my throat.
When I look, he’s got the mask back on. I watch him dress, aching for something, but I don’t know what.
It’s not like I want him to stay. And forget about affection. That kiss left its strange mark on my skin.
He looks at me as I pull my shirt back into place. Then he leaves without saying a word.
I pull the covers over me, not sure what to think or feel, but suddenly tired enough to close my eyes and sleep.