Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
“You impress me,” Florentia said as she steered her horse in beside Hudson’s. They moved at a steady trot across the paddock which surrounded the estate. After an afternoon spent riding together, slowly they were making their way home.
“And why is that?”
She laughed. “I worried that I might be a better rider than you, is why! You have no idea the fear I felt that I might have to teach you how.”
He looked at her flatly. “I have been riding since I was a boy.”
“A good thing too...” She winked playfully at him. “I know how sensitive you can be.”
If this was two weeks ago, Florentia would not have dared make such a joke as that.
Not only would Hudson not have known that she was teasing him, but he would have taken offense regardless.
The male ego was a fragile thing, and rarely did a man exist who enjoyed being called on a weakness that they perceived as strength.
It was a mistake Florentia had made in the past with other men, always to her own detriment.
But this was not two weeks ago. This was today, yet another glorious one which further cemented the growing bonds that she and Hudson were adding strength to every single time they were together.
She knew him well now. She understood him. His quirks. His oddities. How to lure him out of his shell without going too far. And he knew the same of her, almost always just assuming that she was playing with him, and rarely getting upset by the notion. If anything, she sensed that he enjoyed it.
“Those are big words for someone riding side-saddle,” Hudson said simply, sitting up straighter and puffing out his chest.
“What does that mean?”
He shrugged. “If you were to ride properly, I might care for your opinion. As far as I am concerned...” He flicked his eyes over her once and scoffed. “That is not even riding. A child on a pony is a better judge of riding ability than you are.”
She glared at him. “You think I want to ride like this? If it were up to me—”
“Up to you?” he cut over her. “Florentia, if there is one thing I know of you, few exist who can tell you what to do and how to do it. If I did not know any better, I would guess that you enjoy riding side-saddle. Saves you having to challenge yourself.”
“How dare you!”
“I am simply making observations based on what my own two eyes are telling me.” He was grinning to himself proudly, as rarely did he get the upper hand, and no doubt he was rather pleased in this instance that he had.
“Fine, if that is the way it must be...” She pushed her horse ahead, and he effortlessly matched pace. “The next time we ride, I am going to ride properly. That will show you.”
“I will believe it when I see it.”
She glared at him. He looked at her plainly, and then she burst into laughter. The duke did not laugh with quite as much gusto as she did, but he chortled along, which in her estimation was the equivalent of bending over and holding one’s sides so they might not split apart.
How has this become so easy? So comfortable? When this marriage first began, the thought of spending even a second in the same room as my husband made me feel ill. And now...I do not want this day to end.
“How old were you when you first started to ride?” Hudson asked her. He was getting better at that too—asking personal questions about her as if he cared. He does care. That is the difference.
“Eight,” she said. “My mother was against the idea, but my father thought it a good skill to have.”
“Smart man.”
“Although my mother...” She snorted. “She changed her mind when he explained to her that it would likely improve my chances of marriage, when I reached that age. Just something else that me and my husband could do together.”
“Smart woman.”
“Although I doubt that they considered my marriage would be like this,” she laughed. “Nor did I, for that matter. It is funny in that way...” She eyed the duke as they rode together. “How unexpected these things can be. And how wonderful, if you give them the chance.”
“Is that a compliment?”
“Merely an observation based on what my two eyes can see.”
He smiled, a more common expression now which he shared with her often. “I could not agree more.”
They rode together in silence as the manor came into sight. Aiming for the rear of the house, Hudson led the way, a steady trot which allowed them to continue speaking without breaking a sweat or having to shout.
And as they rode, Florentia could see her husband considering...something. His brow was creased. His expression was stern. He was not upset, she knew, just thoughtful, as he likely grappled with an idea that he had but wasn’t sure if he should voice.
“I take it that your parents do not know the particulars of this marriage?” he asked suddenly.
“Oh.” The pivot caught her by surprise. “They certainly do not. As far as they are aware, this is a marriage like any other.”
“And if they were to learn the truth...”
“I do not…” She blinked, considering. The truth was, she had not thought much about her parents or how they might react if they were to learn she and the duke were not trying for an heir.
At least this past month, she had not. “I suppose they would be upset. My mother, especially. She expects certain things, you know?”
“And you?” he tested gently.
“What do you mean?”
He withdrew into himself for a moment, his heavy brow scrunched as he wrestled with an answer, or a thought that she had sensed to be brewing all day.
Was this the duke she had first married, she might have worried, as that duke was a cold, calculating toad who cared little for others and only thought of how any decision made would affect himself.
Things had changed since then. She had felt them change.
And it went beyond mere companionship, which had been her original goal.
Rather, these last few days…dare she say, Florentia had sensed and even seen the duke treating her in a way that she might have deemed as romantic, as impossible as that sounded.
He cared for her, she could tell. He worried after her. What was more, he cared what she thought of him and seemed at pains to please her. Is this just his efforts at being nice, or is it something more?
“I cannot help but remember our first evening together,” he began carefully. “Our fight...”
“Ah...” She felt her stomach tighten.
“You have spoken so often of your childhood, but you rarely speak about the future.”
“That is because it has not happened yet,” she joked in an effort to distract him.
He did not laugh. “And this marriage, specifically. I know it is not what you wished for, and I wonder...” He clicked his tongue.
“I wonder if there is any resentment held toward me? This past month has been enjoyable, Florentia, and I would hate to think that you were harboring a secret hatred for me, one that might one day burst when I least expect it.”
“I hope you know by now that this is not the case,” she said assuredly.
He looked at her, “I do not know that. I wish I did but… you know how I am when it comes to reading people.”
“I...” She hesitated, doing her best to soften the touchy subject.
“You know my feelings about having children, and I am not going to lie to you and tell you that they have passed me completely. But I also understand your own, and I know that it is not a decision to be made lightly or based on a whim.”
“So, you still wish for children?”
“What I wish for is happiness,” she assured him.
“After our first fight, my biggest concern was that I would spend the rest of my life alone and miserable. Yes, I thought having children would change that—and that was an idea I refused to see past. Only now...” She smiled.
“I guess I am beginning to realize there is more to life than having children. And certainly, there are other ways to find happiness.”
“So, you do not wish for children?”
She rolled her eyes. “I wish to be happy. And right now, well...I do not know about you, but I am pretty darn happy.”
“As am I,” he said simply, looking ahead again. His brow was still scrunched, his expression severe. Was that the answer he wished for? Or was he hoping she might stand her ground?
Florentia bit into her lip as she considered what they had just spoken about.
There was a truth in there, she knew—the notion that happiness above all was what she wanted most. And indeed, these past few weeks had been her happiest in memory.
Still, that did not mean she had given up on the notion of children entirely.
That was a dream of hers that would never die, regardless of how happy she might be.
But what did that matter? She doubted Hudson would change his mind. And to ask him again might ruin what they had. They were as close as ever. She felt safe and comfortable with him like she had never known.
She wanted children…more than that, she wanted them with Hudson.
And not because he was her husband and that was right.
Rather, that was what one did with the man who one cared for.
And despite herself, as she watched him ride ahead, Florentia knew now that she was starting to care for this man like she had never thought possible.
They rode in silence the rest of the way home.
Once they reached the estate, they made for the stable, which sat open and empty of workers. Hudson led the way inside, jumped down from his horse immediately, and was quick to throw the reins over the stall’s door just as Florentia was coming to a stop behind him.
“Allow me...” Hudson walked to her, his obvious intent to help her down.
She almost rolled her eyes at the gesture, as if to mock him for being so chivalrous.
But she stayed that notion, feeling a sudden warmth spread through her as she considered what he was doing.
It was not to impress her. It was not to prove himself manly or strong.
Rather, he was doing it because he wanted to help, because it was right, and because he cared for her.
She smiled warmly and allowed him to help her down. Her hands rested on his shoulders, his firm hands held her waist—which had her catching her breath. He gripped her tightly and lifted her in the air, taking a step back and—
“Ow!” he cried out as he lost his footing.
“Argh!” she exclaimed as she tumbled forward.
Hudson groaned as he landed in a pile of hay stacked behind them.
“Hudson!” she cackled loudly, unable to keep herself from laughing as she fell into him, his body and the hay softening the fall.
His hands were still around her. His legs too—she fell between them, and they closed as if on instinct.
Florentia pushed herself back, but did not scramble to climb from her husband.
Rather, she stayed where she was, one hand on his chest, the other on his waist, bodies entwined as one in a way that felt a little too natural. That felt right.
“I...” Hudson began, his breathing up, licking his lips as his eyes looked all about and then met Florentia’s. Held them. “I lost my footing...”
“I noticed,” she breathed, holding his stare as she felt his heart racing beneath her palm. As she felt his body tremble. “Thank you for breaking my fall.”
“Anything for you,” he said, his voice low, still staring right at her. “Are you...you are not hurt?”
“No. Are you?”
“Just my ego.”
She chuckled softly, still not making a move, still holding his eyes, still feeling the racing of his heart. Her eyes flicked to his lips quickly, then back to his eyes. She looked deeply into them, refusing to blink or look away.
The moment was tense. For all their talk of being friends and keeping this marriage civil, of not going down a road which most expected them to... in those few quick seconds, it became obvious to Florentia that she had been living a lie.
And what was more, Hudson was clearly of the same mind.
It was brash. It was daring. It might ruin everything.
But I do not care! Florentia licked her lips, looked at Hudson, and smirked.
She could feel him relax, even as his hands gripped her tighter, his legs holding her closer.
Knowing it was right, no longer fighting it as she had been, Florentia began to lean forward—
“Your Grace!” a voice cried out from across the stable. “Your Grace! Are you here!”
“Ow!” Florentia yelped as the duke leapt to his feet as if he had been stung on the behind. He was sure to lift her with him, so strong that it was effortless for him to stand and prop her on her feet at the same time.
“What is it?” he barked awkwardly, not so much as looking at her as he swung himself around in search of who had called for them. His face was red, however. His breathing was ragged.
Then again, so was Florentia’s...
“Your Grace!” A member of staff rushed around the corner and found them. Seeing the two of them covered in hay, he balked. “Am I...so sorry, I did not mean to—”
“Out with it!” Hudson snapped.
“Right. Yes.” He stood tall and put his hands to his side. “We have an unexpected caller, Your Grace. Two, in fact.”
“What? Now? Who?” Hudson asked with great caution.
The member of staff glanced at Florentia and then turned back to Hudson. “Lord and Lady Worthington, Your Grace. Her Grace’s parents.”