Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“We are so sorry to impose ourselves like this, Your Grace,” Lord Worthington began as soon as they were seated. “And we might have sent ahead, had this not been a last-minute decision.”
“It was my idea,” Lady Worthington spoke up quickly. “We spent the day in London, and as we were returning home, I realized our journey would be taking us right past your estate.”
“I tried to tell her it would be rude to pop in like this,” Lord Worthington insisted.”
“And I assured him that our daughter would be thrilled to see us,” Lady Worthington interjected. “Surely, a mother has the right?”
“It is fine,” Hudson assured them both. “And think nothing of it. We are pleased to see you.” He glanced at his wife, who was looking past her parents as if her mind was elsewhere. Only then, she seemed to realize that all eyes were on her, and she gave her head a shake and forced a smile.
“His Grace speaks the truth,” she said slowly, still not quite in the room. “It is our pleasure.”
Hudson eyed her for a moment longer. There was no need to guess where her mind was, as his was in the exact same place.
He was unable to stop thinking about what had just very nearly happened in the stable, a moment that he hadn’t expected or thought to be possible.
He wondered to himself what would have happened had they not been interrupted.
Not that I need to wonder too hard. Another second was all it would have taken, and suddenly this marriage might have changed forever. But do I want such a thing?
In a way, he was glad for the interruption, as it had saved him from acting on impulse as he so often tried to avoid.
An emotional reaction, is what it was, brought about by their closeness and the situation they had found themselves in.
Best not to think of it as anything more than a fleeting circumstance, one that was unlikely to happen again.
What Hudson needed to do was keep his mind on the situation at hand. Lord and Lady Worthington’s was an unexpected visit, claimed to be a last-minute decision, likely done to check in on this marriage and assess how it was going
For that reason, once they had met in the foyer, he directed them to the sitting room where he instructed the staff to bring them tea. They sat about the small table at the room’s center, Lord and Lady Worthington on a couch on one side, Hudson and his wife on the other.
“And what were you doing in London?” Hudson asked. As he spoke, he shuffled closer to his wife so it would not look as if he was avoiding her...only to realize that she might misread this action, forcing him to pause before getting too close.
“Shopping,” Lady Worthington said simply.
“Just an excuse to get out of the manor,” Lord Worthington added as if it was scripted. “I find that I go a little stir-crazy if I do not stretch my legs every couple of days.”
“Of course,” Hudson agreed, knowing now for a fact that this visit was not made at random.
“Florentia,” Lady Worthington said pointedly. “Are you paying attention?”
Florentia gave her head another shake and looked at her mother. Hudson watched her closely, expecting a sharp retort as he was so used to. She had a tongue on her, his wife, and she liked to use it. No doubt her mother was used to such a thing too.
“Sorry, Mother,” she said, rather simply. “It has been a big day, is all. We were riding.”
“Oh? Riding where?”
“About the estate,” she said. “His Grace is a rather adept rider, and I was eager to learn from him.”
“That is good to hear,” Lady Worthington said with a curt nod. “I do hope that you were careful, dear. You know I always hated you riding.”
Again, Hudson looked at his wife, expecting a quick-witted response. He did not know what she might say, as he was not so sharp himself. But somehow, Florentia always seemed to have a retort at the ready, unexpected and savage, while still somehow amusing.
“I was careful,” she said simply. As she spoke, she sat herself up, hands folded on her lap, chin held high. “And I was sure to listen when His Grace instructed me. I did not wish to make a fool of myself.”
“Good girl,” her mother nodded.
Hudson found himself staring at his wife. At first, it was in shock, because he did not understand why she was being so placid. Was it because her mind was still on their moment in the stable, and she was trying not to give herself away?
Eventually, Hudson realized that she was speaking this way because her parents expected it of her.
Raised of the ton, her parents strict and proper, she was clearly brought up to behave in a way that they thought to be right—as any young lady should act.
She was soft-spoken. She was polite. She was. ..well, she was not herself.
It made Hudson consider his own upbringing.
How his father had molded him in his own image, hammering into him the importance of keeping his emotions in check above all else.
I remember once, my father smacking me until I was so bruised that I could not sit, and for no other crime than laughing at a joke.
As different as Florentia and he were, in many ways, they were the same.
“I do wonder, however, is riding such a good idea?” Lady Worthington continued. A member of staff arrived with a tray of tea, and some sweet meats to snack upon.
“How do you mean, mother?”
She looked flatly at her daughter. “All that bouncing around. It cannot be good for the baby.”
Hudson’s eyes widened and had he been drinking anything, he might have sprayed it from his nostrils.
“Mother...” Florentia sighed awkwardly.
“Betsey...” Lord Worthington took his wife’s hand. “I am sure that our daughter and His Grace know what they are doing.”
“Clearly they do not,” she said. “And I do not mean to impose—please, Your Grace, do not take this as a slight against you.” She looked at him for confirmation, but he stared blankly, with no idea what to say. “But when I was pregnant with Florentia, I was hardly allowed to walk, let alone ride.”
“Mother,” Florentia started again, hopefully to put her mother in her place. “His Grace and I...” Hudson breathed a sigh of relief. “...I am not pregnant, yet.”
“Oh.” Her mother blinked. “Well, that is a shame. Still, it would be wise of you to prepare as if you were, nonetheless. Believe me, when these things happen, they happen quickly. For all you know, there is a little one inside of you right now.” She tittered. “Best to play it safe.”
Hudson looked at his wife once more, certain she would tell her mother the truth. Yes, he knew that it might raise some eyebrows, but to let her continue in this fantasy was not only wrong but would inevitably lead to further questions down the track.
“That is a good idea, mother,” Florentia said instead. “Thank you.”
Hudson knew what was happening. Florentia lived in a world of expectation, and to tell her mother and father that she would not be having an heir anytime soon, or ever, was too much for her to consider.
The shame they would feel. The horror. All this time, I have thought about this from my point of view only, not once considering how it would affect my wife.
Hudson’s stomach knotted itself with guilt.
And it grew worse when he saw the despondent look on Florentia’s face, and the pleased smile on her mother and father’s.
Although he could not bring himself to tell them the truth, he realized suddenly that maybe there was a way he could soften the blow and save his wife from this most awkward situation.
“Florentia...” He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “I think we should tell them.”
She frowned. “Tell them?”
“Tell us what?” Lady Worthington sat up excitedly. “Well?”
“The truth,” he said. To this, Florentia’s face paled, and she widened her eyes as if to beg him not to. “It is no big thing,” he said with a smile. “And really, there is no need to lie.”
“Hudson...” she hissed under her breath.
“The truth, Lord and Lady Worthington, is that there is no need to worry about your daughter suddenly falling pregnant.”
“Why not?” Lady Worthington squawked.
“Because we have not started trying yet,” he said simply.
“We have been married for a little more than a month. As we see it there is still plenty of time, and truth be told, we know the commitment that a child brings. And while obviously we plan on having one soon, for a few more months at least, we have decided it would be smart for us to wait.”
“Oh...” Lady Worthington frowned, clearly not sure how to react.
“That is...” Lord Worthington pushed his lips together. “An interesting consideration.”
“A smart one,” Hudson said. “When it is time to have a child, we wish to be ready. More than that, we wish to both be in a place where we can think of nothing better than to spend our days raising him. Or her. Why do our future child a disservice by having them too soon?”
“Your Grace...” Lady Worthington cleared her throat. “If you do not mind me saying, it is never the right time to have a child. I find it is best if—”
“What is right for you is not right for us,” he cut over her sharply, fixing her in a look that told her in this she would do best to keep her opinions to herself.
“Your daughter and I have come to this decision ourselves, one which is our own to make. And I would ask that you accept it.” Another stern look for good measure.
It was clear that Lady Worthington did not agree, nor did her husband. But they knew who they were speaking with, and they knew better than to argue.
“Wonderful idea,” Lady Worthington said. “As you say, you know best.”
“Yes, we do.”
Throughout this, Florentia had been staring wide-eyed at Hudson, her mouth hanging open, shock written clear as day across her face. But slowly, as she came to realize what he was saying, how he was saving her, that shock turned into a joyous smile, and she squeezed his hand and shuffled in closer.
It was only then that Hudson realized what he had done—as always, slow to figure through the implications of the situation and what it might mean. What had been meant as a kindness might have been misread by Florentia as promise.
“Sorry to have misled you, Mother, I hope you understand.” She grinned at Hudson, moving his hand to her lap. “But at least you might see how happy we are. Surely, that is something to celebrate.”
“I suppose so...” Lady Worthington did not look as if she agreed.
Hudson withdrew into himself as he began to consider all of this from a more practical angle. The night of the ball. What had happened in the stable. His act of kindness just now, likely instilling in Florentia false hope. What have I done?
Hudson could not say for certain how he felt about Florentia, but with a quick glance in her direction, seeing the look of adoration in her eyes as she watched him, he could say pretty well what she felt for him.
Worse than that, he had encouraged it! Fool he was, he’d let his emotions take over and as he had known would happen, he found himself in trouble.
He cared for his wife. He liked being with her. But did he want more? Did he wish for this marriage to develop beyond one of convenience and companionship? Even if he did, Hudson would never dare admit such a thing.
I must be careful from now on. One more wrong step taken and my wife might misread my intentions entirely. And if that happens…I do not want to think what I will do. Nothing good, by my reckoning.