Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
“Well, that was relatively painless,” Hudson sighed once the door closed behind Florentia’s parents. “Although if we do not see them again for another month, forgive me if I do not object.”
“Right,” Florentia agreed. “They can be...rather, forward.”
“A bull charging a red flag is forward,” Hudson said. “They are an entirely different beast.”
“It is more my mother than my father,” Florentia said. “She has always been the one who leads, while my father has been happy to follow.”
“I see now where you get it from.”
It was a joke, clearly, and ordinarily, Florentia might have laughed.
But her mind was elsewhere, partly back on the conversation with her parents, and partly on the stable before that.
In many ways, one informed the other, which allowed for her to think of them both with the same mind. Even if this confused her to no end.
“Right...” was all she could bring herself to say.
I do not think I can continue to lie to myself for much longer. What is more, I do not want to. What happened in the stable was one thing, and maybe I could have forgotten it if that was all that had happened. But how Hudson had spoken to my parents just now...it changes everything.
“Is everything alright?” Hudson asked, taking note of the distant expression on Florentia’s face.
“Hmm?” She realized what she was doing, forcing herself to focus on him.
“Yes, it is fine.” She then looked closer at her husband, studying him in a way that she had not dared to this past month for fear of what she might see.
Now, to look at him with this fresh perspective, she could not believe how purposefully ignorant she had been.
“It is better than fine...” She smiled suggestively.
“I am glad. Honestly, the way your mother was speaking to you. And to me, for that matter...” He exhaled. “I need a drink.”
“I would not mind one.”
“Let us not waste any time, then.” He indicated with a sweeping of his hand for her to walk ahead of him, and she did just that, making her way to the drawing room where Hudson’s liquor cabinet was stored.
It was early evening by now, and the hearth had been lit; its flames roared to life, painting the dark room in simmering orange and red hues. The warmth took her as she walked deeper into the room, and to hear the door close behind her had her heart racing.
I am being foolish, surely? Overthinking it. Trying to talk myself out of what I know is true. With Hudson, especially, a man who would not know his own emotions if they slapped him in the face.
“Whiskey, I think.” He strode past her, aiming for the liquor cabinet.
“Make it two,” she said after him.
He chuckled to himself as he reached the cabinet, busying himself with pouring their drinks. And Florentia stayed back, again studying her husband under a different light.
These past few weeks had seen the two of them grow closer in ways that went beyond mere companionship. And where it might have been easy to tell herself it was simply a means to an end, better than living with a man whom she hated, Florentia was quite certain it had become more than that.
She knew Hudson well enough to know that he wouldn’t treat her as he did if he did not care for her. But how much did he care for her? Was she reading too much into his words?
No. His actions were what she focused on.
His hulking frame, his broad back—she could not help but remember the stables and the way she had fallen into him as he had held her closely.
Never mind the tension. Never mind that they had very nearly kissed.
It was how right it had felt. Not strange or awkward at all.
And then, when he had spoken with her parents, the lie he had told, done so purely to rescue her. It was kind and caring, thoughtful in ways of which he might not have known himself capable. He cared for her as she did for him.
It is more than that. I do not simply care for him, as that is stiff and stale. How I feel right now, how my heart swells when he is in my thoughts, caring is not strong enough. Not by half.
“Here we are.” He turned with two drinks in his hand and made for her, holding one out. “What shall we toast to?”
“To us?” she suggested. “A marriage that should not have worked but somehow still does.”
“To us...” He raised his glass and took a sip, and she did the same. “Although it is no great secret why it works so well.”
“Oh...” Her heart began to race, and she looked for his eyes, needing him to see the thoughts hidden behind hers.
“You have the patience of a saint,” he joked and took another sip. “How else could you put up with me?”
“Oh, it is not so hard as that.”
“There is that sharp tongue that was missing just now.”
“I tell the truth,” she said earnestly. “I...you are not so bad as you think, Hudson. I know you imagine yourself as a cold monster, but the truth of the matter is...” She felt her mouth turn dry, nerves taking her. “You are one of the kindest, most caring men I have ever met.”
His brow furrowed in confusion. “Do not tease me, Florentia. You know how hard I find it to puzzle through your jokes.”
“I am not—”
“I have gotten better, however,” he continued, not realizing he spoke over her. “You must admit that.”
She smiled softly and reached out, resting a hand on his arm. It sent a pulse through her arm, and she felt herself flush. “That you have.”
This was harder than Florentia had thought it might be.
Although she was certain that Hudson was feeling for her what she was for him, she was terrified that she might be misreading him.
That she would say what she felt and he would dismiss her.
That they would fight, that it would ruin everything.
Was it worth the cost? Should she take such a risk?
“I am glad you put my parents in their place,” she said, pulling her hand away. They stood in the middle of the room, closely, and she made sure to be looking up at him as she spoke.
He shrugged. “They should know better than to speak to you like that. You are a duchess, and my wife.” He nodded. “It is not their concern if you are with child, or if you ride a horse, or whatever you do.”
“You caught me by surprise too,” she ventured carefully. “What you told them.”
“Oh...” He grimaced. “I hope I did not go too far. I was only trying to…” He considered his wording. “Placate them. Nothing more.”
“I appreciate it, Hudson. So much.”
His smile was as gentle as his heart, and it warmed her to see. “At least that should stop them from questioning us for a while. And gossiping.”
A pregnant pause descended between them.
He took another sip. She held her glass before her, still looking up and into his eyes.
A large part of her wanted to ignore her feelings because she did not want to be wrong, to risk what they had.
This last month had been wonderful, and to ruin it would break her.
But it might also be better. If he does feel this way for me, imagine what that might mean for the future. For us.
Nervous. Body shaking. Florentia found her courage and forced herself to act. She would never forgive herself if she did not.
“Hudson...” She began softly. “I...need to ask you something.”
“You can ask me anything, Florentia. You know this.”
“It is a sensitive topic.”
“I will do my best not to overreact.”
She smiled, her hand resting on his arm again. “It is to do with what happened earlier...” She looked away sheepishly but then forced herself to look back. “In the stable...”
She saw it then, behind his eyes. A flash of excitement, beaten back by fear. If she was not holding him, he might have turned away. But she held on, refusing to allow him the chance. She needed an answer.
“What about it?”
“What nearly happened between us, before we were interrupted...” She looked at him suggestively, and then she stepped in closer. “I have been thinking all afternoon about it. Trying to puzzle out how I feel and...”
“Florentia...” His voice was soft, his body was trembling, but he did not deny her, and she took that as a sign.
“I am thinking now that I wish we had not been interrupted.”
To that, he said nothing. But he did not need to.
They stood mere inches apart. Drinks forgotten.
Eyes trained on one another. The light from the hearth fell across Hudson’s face, and she saw the fire in his eyes.
She saw the want and the need and the sudden realization in him that this was what he wanted. He just didn’t know it yet.
The tension grew between them. It was so thick it might have been cut with a knife, was one available. Still, Hudson said nothing, but his eyes flicked to her lips, his drink lowered further, and if there was one thing Florentia knew about her husband it was how clueless he was to social dynamics.
He wants this. I can see it in his eyes. And if he isn’t going to make the first move...
Surprisingly, it was Hudson who acted. Perhaps for once he could read her intent, seeing as she was being so obvious about it.
Or maybe he was simply that besotted by her, the tension brewing between them all day, what had happened earlier still on his mind, unable to control himself in ways that she was all too familiar with.
He stepped into her. His hand went for her face, cupping it and pulling her into him as their lips connected for what was the first time, but surely not their last.
The kiss wrapped them both as if in a blanket.
Florentia stepped in closer, Hudson brought his other hand to her face.
It was her first kiss ever, but it felt like it might have been her one hundredth, such was the ease.
Lips pressed, mouths parted, tongues lapped and danced playfully.
The passion of it swept through her, down her body, lifting her so that she felt like she might fly.