Chapter 30
Way Home
He was still pinned on that same spot, as if his life began and ended right there, in a random place on the road in the middle of nowhere. And yet it was true. If Bella decided to get into that carriage and drive away, he would be left in the middle of nowhere alone.
He searched her face, trying to decipher what she was feeling, what she was thinking. He had nothing more to offer, just himself, bare and open.
“I…” Arabella said.
He held his breath. Everyone feared him, and here he was, trembling in front of a woman who ruled his whole life. Arabella looked into his eyes one more time, battling with herself and her doubts.
But then he saw the shift, something softening inside her. Hope flared in his soul, treacherous but so addictive. Arabella leaned a little toward him.
“I love you too.”
It was his turn to regard her in complete shock. His eyes went wide, and his jaw dropped. His hand remained still against her cheek.
“Say it again, please,” he begged. “Say it again so I know I didn’t conjure some dream.”
“How poetic of you, Your Grace,” Arabella chuckled. “Who knew that the cruel Duke was hiding a poet?”
“Tease me all you want, Arabella,” he said desperately. “I deserve as much, but please say it again.”
Arabella’s eyes shone brighter than the blue sky above them. Suddenly, the world started spinning again, only this time it was around her, as if the sun was shining on her, the birds were singing for her pleasure, and the grass was green under her feet.
“I love you too, Gerald,” she said softly, slowly, giving him time to realize it was true.
The relief Gerald felt was like nothing he had experienced before. It came over him like waves of the ocean on a hot day. His body reacted before his mind even could. The hand on her face got tangled in her hair, and his other hand pulled her by the waist closer to him, as close as possible.
“I promise you,” he breathed over her lips, “that you will never regret it. I will make sure every day.”
And he sealed that promise with a kiss. He had kissed her so many times before, but this was as if he was kissing her for the first time ever. He was almost trembling as his lips traced hers.
Then Arabella responded. One hand moved up to his chest and lingered where his heartbeat was thundering. He let her feel how it beat only for her, how much his life was hers now.
“Gerald,” she breathed so low.
He heard the deep need inside her, the same one that took over him. He broke the kiss once more, needing to look into her eyes to know for sure that he got extremely lucky.
He found her eyes swimming in happiness. It was true. His radiant sunshine loved him back against better judgment. But he was not going to be the one educating her. He was not that kind and not that selfish. He wanted to keep her.
A wave of possessiveness came over him, and he was ready to devour Arabella right there by the road and the soft grass when he realized that they had an audience.
From the Duchess’s carriage, both Winnie and Bridget were watching them, both with hands over their mouths.
“Sorry, ladies,” Gerald said mischievously, “I am afraid your journey to Wales is postponed.”
That’s all he said, and he took Arabella by her hand and led her back to his carriage. Arabella yelped in surprise but didn’t resist him. She followed him with a smile on her face.
“What are you doing, Gerald?”
“We are going home. We’re going to pack and prepare ourselves, and then we’re going for a honeymoon in Brighton.”
“You have everything planned out, haven’t you?” Arabella teased. “It would have been amazing if you had told me so, because I would have prepared accordingly.”
“I will buy you everything you need. All I need is for you to be there.”
She was still giggling when he helped her up the steps into his carriage and closed the door behind him. He signaled the driver to return to the estate. When the wheels started spinning over the gravel, muting any other noise, he pulled closer.
Suddenly, in the small confines of the luxurious carriage, it was as if they had shut the whole world outside. For a while, they just looked at each other, both weighing the silence and the closeness as if it was the first time they found themselves alone.
He knew deep down that he needed to take this slow, but it was simply impossible. He couldn’t even wait for them to go back home. He almost lost her, and he just wanted to make sure that she was his in every way that mattered. And he needed to feel her.
His pulse was racing, and his heart was hammering. He had never desired anything more in his life. When their eyes met, he knew that he was regarding her with longing. Arabella softly and gracefully nodded to his unspoken request.
“Arabella,” he growled. “You are mine.”
He sounded like a madman, but there was no way of stopping himself. He placed both hands on her waist. Arabella’s hand landed on his chest, and she started exploring his body underneath his clothes, waking up desire in him, unstoppable and flammable.
He pulled her in for another kiss, slow and lingering. His tongue licked her lips, and she responded immediately, giving him access. She was so warm, or perhaps he was too cold away from her, but he felt alive after all.
He reached and took her hand in his. She was still wearing her gloves.
Very slowly, looking into her eyes, he took those gloves off one finger at a time.
It was such a simple act, and yet unraveling her hands made his body tighten with desire.
When they were off, he threw them at the seat beside her.
Then his hands skimmed higher until they reached the top of the sleeve, right where her neck met her shoulder. His fingers traced the skin under the dress, and he did so as if touching precious silk.
What his fingers touched, it was the turn of his lips to taste. He peppered open-mouthed kisses on her shoulder and her collarbone, and then he used his teeth to pull down the sleeves of her dress.
Arabella arched into his touch, her breathing already ragged. Slowly, his hands traveled over her shoulders down her back. He wanted to feel that she was truly here, his to touch. He cupped her face and cradled it in his hands.
“I thought I had lost you,” he said, clearly overwhelmed.
“I don’t think you can ever lose me, no matter what happens,” Arabella declared.
His heart filled with joy upon hearing those words. He didn’t know how much he needed that reassurance. Still, Arabella put words to his desires.
“Do you want this, Arabella?” he breathed over her ear.
“Yes, please.”
He smiled and licked that sensitive spot behind her ear, his fingers brushing over her neck, and some of her carefully tucked-away curls escaped to tease him.
“I want this too,” he groaned into her skin. “Like I never wanted anything more in my life. Let me show you, please.”
His lips trailed down her neck, nibbling and kissing. Arabella’s hands gripped him, and her fingers tangled in his hair. He became more impatient, taking off his coat and waistcoat, pulling off his cravat while his lips never left hers.
Her fingers went for his shirt, unbuttoning each button while he kissed her collarbone. They were frantic, making up for the hurt and the time apart, unable to stop for one moment. She threw the shirt on the floor of the carriage.
He kneeled in front of her, this supplicate position the one that really reflected his emotions. Both hands went up her legs, over her silk socks, till his hands found the exposed skin of her thighs.
“Oh, Bella,” he moaned shamelessly. “I want you so much. I can’t stop.”
“Don’t stop,” she gasped. “I thought I would never see you again, never touch and kiss you again.”
He heard the hurt in her voice. He stopped and held her face, making her look into his eyes.
“I won’t ever let you go,” he promised. “I am yours, Arabella. Forever.”
“And I am yours. Forever.”
He felt as if something inside him was complete.
He took her lips in a desperate, profound kiss, pouring all his emotions into it.
His hands went frantically into her skirts, lifting them up around her waist. Perhaps he should have been more gentle, but he couldn’t hold back anymore.
If he didn’t feel her, all of her, he would simply lose his mind.
Her kiss became hot, demanding, frenzied, her need matching his.
He responded tenfold, his fingers digging into her thighs, pulling her closer to him.
He ground against her once. He could feel the heat of her core through the fabric of his breeches.
That first connection made her head fall back, craning her neck bare.
He fell on the exposed skin like a starved man, still tangled between her legs. He pulled the dress to expose her perfect orbs. His mouth watered at the sight. He leaned in and sucked one ready peak. Arabella frantically ran her fingers through his hair, looking for a grip.
He touched her everywhere his hands could reach, every little inch of exposed skin, greedy for his touch. And all this time, his hips kept their slow rocking motion, grinding against her core, the motion of the carriage adding to the sensation.
Arabella responded to every little thing.
Her fingers were in his hair, her body was open to him.
She, too, ground against him, seeking that delicious friction that would make her lose her mind.
He felt her heat, her swelling pleasure, and he could barely hold on.
But he needed to make sure that she was exactly where he needed her.
“Gerald, please, please,” she begged.
He smiled against her breasts, his fingers punishing against her skin.
“Oh, Bella. Yes, yes, I know. I need you too.”
He fumbled with his breeches, just enough to free his painful hardness. There was no room for anything else but this sensation he was chasing. He looked up into her eyes.
“I can’t hold back,” he growled. “Tell me to stop.”
“I need you, Gerald. Don’t stop.”
Hearing her begging him like this almost undid him. Almost. He was not that crazy to ruin the one chance he had to show her how much she meant to him. He bit his lower lip to regain some of his control.
“Such a good girl,” he purred. “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you, too.”
He came closer, right where they both needed each other. He looked in her eyes, that vast blue ocean he still had to explore, and he felt no fear, just excitement. With one long thrust, he buried himself deep inside her. She was so hot and ready, slick running down.
“Oh God, Bella,” he groaned. “I am never, ever letting you go again.”
“And I’m never…” she muttered, “Oh! I am never leaving again.”
He stilled. He searched her eyes again, wanting to confirm that she willingly, this time, bound herself to him.
“Say it again, Bella, please,” he said and moved slowly. “Say you won’t leave me again.”
He thrust deep and slow, watching her overcome with the same desire that held his soul.
“I won’t ever… oh, Gerald.”
“Say you’re mine,” he demanded.
“Gerald!”
“Come on. Say you are mine. Be a good girl.”
Arabella almost fell apart. Her body shook, and her fingers tightened in his hair upon those words.
“I am yours,” she said.
“Good girl,” Gerald growled. “Again. Say it again.”
“Yours!”
He moved faster, pulling her to him by the waist in deep strokes.
“Good girl. My good girl,” he purred. “I am yours, too. Yours. Yours.”
Arabella looked at him to confirm what she had just heard. He leaned in closer, flush against her, slowing down his movements so she was focused on him. He kissed her lips softly before caressing her lower lip with his thumb.
“I am yours, Arabella.”
“You’re mine,” she said, her voice trembling. “And I am yours.”
“Yes.”
His possessiveness came over him again. He led one hand behind her neck to keep her close so he could see her eyes, and the other on her hips to bring her closer to him again and again.
His movements lost all control. He plunged into her, letting go recklessly. He was neither civil nor gentle. He was claiming her completely. The only thing he heard was the movement of the carriage, her moans, his growls, and the sound of their bodies meeting.
This surge of pleasure rose inside him. His body was throbbing with need, and he was getting to the point of no return, where he just couldn’t stop. He looked at her and saw the same tension inside her, ready to snap. She, too, pushed against him, her nails digging into his shoulders. And then,
“Gerald!”
He felt that sweet pressure around him, gripping him tight again and again. He fell, tumbling into her arms, into his release, into bliss.
“Bella!” he groaned against her skin.
For a while, he just breathed, unable to control his body.
His forehead fell onto hers, waiting for his breathing to come back to normal.
Then he left soft kisses on her forehead, down her cheeks, to the side of her mouth.
His hand caressed her hair, completely disheveled now.
She nuzzled closer, her face soft and sated.
“The drive to Brighton is five hours, more or less,” he said teasingly.
“I wonder how we are going to occupy our time,” she chuckled softly.
“Mm,” he murmured in her ear. “I think we can entertain ourselves somehow.”
He kissed her lightly, smiling against her lips. He was finally found. He was no longer alone.